Sometimes I ponder why some youths blame the government instead of their unfortunate father like mine.
I don't blame the government but my useless dad that was too lazy to think well and plan well before getting married.
This is the man that worked for 12 years before getting married when Nigeria was still manageable.
That 12 years he worked was a complete waste.
No single achievement before getting married.
You worked for 12 years when you were single.
You couldn't build house or property.
You couldn't connect or have big connections that will set you up or children up for better tomorrow.
You married yet you couldn't train your kid or give them a better education..
Unfortunate Nigerian Fathers are the cause of kidnapping, robbery, unemployment, cyber crime, prostitution and social vices in Nigeria not the government.

Find solace in Christ and decide to change the narrative because if you continue to nag... You might not do much other than what your father has done.

Orphans and Almajiri are making it... Blame yourself

Ibtxxo:
Sometimes I ponder why some youths blame the government instead of their unfortunate father like mine.
I don't blame the government but my useless dad that was too lazy to think well and plan well before getting married.
This is the man that worked for 12 years before getting married when Nigeria was still manageable.
That 12 years he worked was a complete waste.
No single achievement before getting married.
You worked for 12 years when you were single.
You couldn't build house or property.
You couldn't connect or have big connections that will set you up or children up for better tomorrow.
You married yet you couldn't train your kid or give them a better education..
Unfortunate Nigerian Fathers are the cause of kidnapping, robbery, unemployment, cyber crime, prostitution and social vices in Nigeria not the government.

If I may ask you how old are you?
How much wealth have you been able to accumulate for your self as we speak, so that your unborn children would be fortunate.

Ibtxxo:
.
I don't blame the government but my useless dad that was too lazy to think well and plan well before getting married.

Omo the useless father and son beef don reach this level?
Abeg take am easy

If you are born poor it’s not your fault
But if you die poor you have yourself to blame

Seek peace and double up

Dem say pikin wey say him papa no get money....na the hustle him sef dey sooo...

So brother follow the advice of the first commenter

Pls you people should not crucify the OP, it's not always easy for people from humble background to brake even especially in this part of the world we live in. It takes the grace of God for one to escape poverty from a poor background. U can't compare someone who was given a ladder to climb up with someone who has to look for a ladder himself to climb. And to make matters worst, it's these so called poor people that bears children the most.

this one no concern me

Ibtxxo:
Sometimes I ponder why some youths blame the government instead of their unfortunate father like mine.
I don't blame the government but my useless dad that was too lazy to think well and plan well before getting married.
This is the man that worked for 12 years before getting married when Nigeria was still manageable.
That 12 years he worked was a complete waste.
No single achievement before getting married.
You worked for 12 years when you were single.
You couldn't build house or property.
You couldn't connect or have big connections that will set you up or children up for better tomorrow.
You married yet you couldn't train your kid or give them a better education..
Unfortunate Nigerian Fathers are the cause of kidnapping, robbery, unemployment, cyber crime, prostitution and social vices in Nigeria not the government.

You're wrong hustle and you can be a good father you dad's already tried on his own part

Op,

Forget about your pop man.

I know how it feels when you don’t have a solid background.

The truth is that you are also becoming a man & hopefully, a father someday.

Take the bull by the horn & accept the responsibility for your self.

Your parents don born you already, now your destiny is in your hand.

I’m sure you are an adult, already.

Most African fathers no try at all.

I’ve decided to be financially, mentally, emotionally & socially okay before I consider having a family.

Life is sacred.

I get what you are saying, it's kind of very difficult for a man to rise up to his expected and desired standard once the family he comes from has no solid background or with one issue or the other but then that shouldn't stop him at all from forging ahead. With God and perseverance all things are possible.

Im also avin this same argument wit my parents.this tin dey pain,y born if u can ensure d child succeed

Lol hope your kids don’t heap the same blame on ya ass .. better double your hustle and dead such thoughts cause it takes you nowhere rather it retrogress your ability to succeed from where your pops stopped cause you wants a bigger push in life instead of tilling the grounds on your own terms and conditions .. naive minds .

Honestly nobody should blame the Op.

Being born in a poor family in a shithole like Nigeria is like playing a football match and loosing 2 - nill from the start.

It will take passing through hellfire, brimstone and luck to get to his desired position in life.

All of you telling him to hustle, una think say e easy like that. Look around you, 9 out of 10 folks doing well are usually from solid backgrounds.

Unfortunately now, APC is going to win the election and according to tensazangetsu20, a catastrophic economy is expected to follow and therefore many children will curse out their parents in the future like the Op is doing.

People who had less than you still made something out of their lives so your point is invalid.

Even if you had a softer life, you'll still find a way to blame someone for your misfortunes.

You're an adult now and you have everything you need to make your life better or worsen it.

So stop whining and do the work.

Raalsalghul:
Honestly nobody should blame the Op.

Being born in a poor family in a shithole like Nigeria is like playing a football match and loosing 2 - nill from the start.

It will take passing through hellfire, brimstone and luck to get to his desired position in life.

All of you telling him to hustle, una think say e easy like that. Look around you, 9 out of 10 folks doing well are usually from solid backgrounds.

Unfortunately now, APC is going to win the election and according to tensazangetsu20, a catastrophic economy is expected to follow and therefore many children will curse out their parents in the future like the Op is doing.

Actually, he said "they will kill/murder their parents for giving birth to them in Nigeria".

The guy na mental case. The thing about him is that when he proposes or predicts a situation, I argue that he is too extreme. Later, when events begin to unfold, I realise he is correct. I thought I was pessimistic, but where my own stop, na there him own start.

Since your papa no get achievement and build house under 12 years. How many houses have you built now ?

Life isn't as easy and straight as you think it should be

That's cool truth about most poor parents of today but you forgot to add the concluding part...... Our government should be held more accountable because they are the ones making laws and implementing policies.
I am not a President and my father is not CBN governor, if anything goes wrong in the country you will blame the president or your state governor not your father because it is not your father making laws.
Will you blame your father for the rising cost pf goods in the country? Or will you blame our leaders instead?

Eastcoastboy:
Find solace in Christ and decide to change the narrative because if you continue to nag... You might not do much other than what your father has done.

Of course, that is actually normal. Parents who do well lay the foundation for their children. It is a cumulative process. Adults who are struggling now had a rough start when they were young or later in life. That is the reason it is very risky for children from humble backgrounds to misbehave, as nothing to fall back on.

The situation would change if there is rapid economic growth as it will usher in lots of jobs and businesses flourish. Also, if the society is safe, people's investments can compound steadily. Imagine the economic destruction residents in Christian dominated areas in Northern Nigeria have had to experience within the past eight years? It has shattered whatever anyone built, resulting in people starting again from square one. The same applies to parts of the south east. Insecurity is way worse than poor economic growth because it destroys everything one has built. Now, imagine the fate of those communities and many more should a Muslim-Muslim presidency take office?

Ibtxxo:
Sometimes I ponder why some youths blame the government instead of their unfortunate father like mine.
I don't blame the government but my useless dad that was too lazy to think well and plan well before getting married.
This is the man that worked for 12 years before getting married when Nigeria was still manageable.
That 12 years he worked was a complete waste.
No single achievement before getting married.
You worked for 12 years when you were single.
You couldn't build house or property.
You couldn't connect or have big connections that will set you up or children up for better tomorrow.
You married yet you couldn't train your kid or give them a better education..
Unfortunate Nigerian Fathers are the cause of kidnapping, robbery, unemployment, cyber crime, prostitution and social vices in Nigeria not the government.

I know it is not easy especially for those from poorer backgrounds. I know what poverty looks like, and to worsen, poor people tend to birth plenty children. This is a major reason their offspring remain poor for life. If a poor family has just two children, the situation would a lot different and better than having four or six children. I have preached this for donkey years on Nairaland and created like three related topics to buttress the issue.

The best advice I can give you is to postpone marriage till you can stand on your feet very well. Even if it means 50 years, no problem. You are a man. Just learn relevant and LUCRATIVE skills, grab opportunities when they present themselves and live a healthy life. Don't rush into marriage the moment small change enter hand o. Save, invest, diversify and compound your investments. When you plan bearing children, at most two, at least one. You are not a South Korean or Singaporean where the governments do everything possible to support new babies and their parents.

P.S. Poju Oyemade, Oscar Onyema and Olumide Akpata married in their forties and fifties respectively. You don't have to be as rich as them, but stand on your feet and correct your dad's wrongs. Also, don't aim to be financially OK because of marriage, but for current self and retirement.

You that blames your father for your present predicament, make sure you achieve what he couldn't achieve before talking of marriage, else your children won't only criticize you, they will attack you head on.

Broke men dating broke women end up having broke children who become desperate.

Teach your preeks and totos family planning.

Oscar Onyeama whose Dad na even Igwe Married in his early 50s as Gerrard59 pointed out, I admire Oscar, his profile and achievement are breath taking, something i might not achieve, but it motivates me.

In this kind of situation persin no suppose reason to rush enter any commited relationship.

Just plan your life around worse case scenarios, hope for the best but be prepared for the worst

Most times the anger comes from being the first born and one has "half dozen minus one" number of siblings one is responsible for, to pay school fees, rent, upkeep allowance and other emergencies...

Moh247:
Orphans and Almajiri are making it... Blame yourself

You deserve an award

The best is never to get married or have a child as a poor man. If not, the lineage of abject poverty, meagerness, hopelessness and penury will continue.

House wey no get good foundation no strong o, not to talk carrying another building.

It's true that some of our fathers made that mistake, but now, it's in for us to correct it with pain, regret, neglect and isolation.
You might not enjoy much even after you made it. It's your kids who now will enjoy that treats that your parents couldn't give you.

Don't be bitter. Don't be frustrated. Keep a positive mind. You're the Hero.

Don't bother yourself with the negative comments you'll get on this thread. Most Nigerians are naturally hypocrite. That's why someone would create a new different Monika to share their problem. What does that tell you


I wish you peace of mind and body and most importantly, I wish you love.

imagrg:
Broke men dating broke women end up having broke children who become desperate.

Teach your preeks and totos family planning.

Gerrard59:


Of course, that is actually normal. Parents who do well lay the foundation for their children. It is a cumulative process. Adults who are struggling now had a rough start when they were young or later in life. That is the reason it is very risky for children from humble backgrounds to misbehave, as nothing to fall back on.

The situation would change if there is rapid economic growth as it will usher in lots of jobs and businesses flourish. Also, if the society is safe, people's investments can compound steadily. Imagine the economic destruction residents in Christian dominated areas in Northern Nigeria have had to experience within the past eight years? It has shattered whatever anyone built, resulting in people starting again from square one. The same applies to parts of the south east. Insecurity is way worse than poor economic growth because it destroys everything one has built. Now, imagine the fate of those communities and many more should a Muslim-Muslim presidency take office?

All you have said is the truth, more reason why so many youths are entering into fraud, because honestly there's nothing for them to build on.

No basic/adequate allowance to help him thrive through at his young age/while in school. No investment to key into.

No seed funding to start up business no connections to get job.

It's really sad I understand the pain of the OP.

The earlier you drop from that layback bus and take over the wheel the better for you. I was once in that book of lamentation before i borrowed myself brain.

ArmedArmada:
People who had less than you still made something out of their lives so your point is invalid.

Even if you had a softer life, you'll still find a way to blame someone for your misfortunes.

You're an adult now and you have everything you need to make your life better or worsen it.

So stop whining and do the work.

People go just dey issued out Stupid advice as if it's that easy mumu

Barims:


People go just dey issued out Stupid advice as if it's that easy mumu

Torr. Coming to this world is not easy so why didn't you die in your mother's womb? Shebi you want an easy life.

Man starts to struggle right from birth.

If you sit down instead and say, y'all should have handed me a soft life, well more power to you.

And it's not an advice. I'm just stating my opinion.

No need to get your panties in a wad cos of it.

It's your turn to be a father soon. I hope you do better than your dad did.