I am married to a yoruba man but grew up in the south and I have found some expectation from my husband's family and friends very strange. For instance my husband tells me to call his relatives aunty or uncle even though most of them are way younger than me and then when I call his friends by their first names, he told me in private that they think I am disrespectful. I understand the part of kneeling down to greet my inlaws but the other part of calling aunty or uncle to every one and not feeling free to hail his friends by their first names, is really hard. Please my fellow yoruba wives, is this normal?

You should have known all of that before getting married to him.
Calling your husband's relations aunty or uncle whether you are older than them or not is a yoruba thing.
It wont take anything from you so just do it for the sake of peace!

chaircover: As you are not Yoruba, and all this is new to you, your husband should have explained all this to you before you got married. It is Yoruba culture not to call your husbands siblings and "aburos" by name as a sign of respect. You dont have to call them aunty or uncle, but you can give them a nickname. So for example you can call someone named Femi Bros Femooooooo! All within reason though as some will be so young that there is nothing wrong in caling them by their own name.

As for calling your husbands friends by their first names, if they have a kid you can call them by their kids name such as daddy junior. I dont call all my husbands friends by name dimply because many of them have been my husbands friends long long before he met me and many are older than me. Of course there are some that are younger than him/us/age mates and those I call by their kids name or their own name. To be honest the friend issue is a matter of choice and some of his friends will actually expect you/not mind you calling them by their name.

Thanks sis!

slimyem: [size=14pt]You should have known all of that before getting married to him.[/size]
Calling your husband's relations aunty or uncle whether you are older than them or not is a yoruba thing.
It wont take anything from you so just do it for the sake of peace!

Na wa ooo!!

Kobojunkie:

Na wa ooo!!

wetin be na wa?
The things she's complaining about now are not supposed to be strange to her.
If i'm planning to get married to someone outside my tribe,i should at least be conversant and comfortable with the basics of his culture so they don't become issues for me like it is with the op in this case!

Jackie_25: I am married to a yoruba man but grew up in the south and I have found some expectation from my husband's family and friends very strange. For instance my husband tells me to call his relatives aunty or uncle even though most of them are way younger than me and then when I call his friends by their first names, he told me in private that they think I am disrespectful. I understand the part of kneeling down to greet my inlaws but the other part of calling aunty or uncle to every one and not feeling free to hail his friends by their first names, is really hard. Please my fellow yoruba wives, is this normal?

Crap

OP, your husband knew that you're not from his tribe before asking you to marry him. I'm sure you didn't beg or coerce him to marry you. The guy should cool down jor, at least he's educated enough to understand you ain't from his tribe. Don't stress yourself, do the best you can. If you're not comfortable with adding bros or aunt to the names of his sibling, omo call them by their damn bleeping name, na them be ur aunty ni?

The Respect and the right titles – yes, for an outside it can be very funny or strange
I had the same problem. Basically if somebody is around your age and does not have children you call him or her brother or sister follow by his/her first name, if you do not know the name just brother or sister, if you do not feel like this, because you might not like this person just say “Oga” which means “Sir or Mister” or “Ma” or Madam”. If somebody has children mama or daddy follow by the name of their children, if they have more than one and you know the name of the first born child use this, if not just use the use of their child, which you know. You can mix thing up by saying Iya (mother in Yoruba) or baba (father) or papa follow by the child’s name.
By our in lows, you could say Sister and Brother or Iya and Baba, if they have children. If they are younger than you, just call them “my small wife” or “or small wife”. You can say “my husband” to your bother in law, if you feel like it.
Anyway, if you call anybody uncle or aunty – you cannot go wrong.
It is funny; my friends call my two year old her husband. And told me, she would like to marry him. She is 38 years old. It just means he is her favourite.
Or my son (11) sometimes calls his sister “aunty”, if he wants something from her.
You will see, your husband, your in laws will loosen up with all this later on. They just have an eye on all this in the beginning.
And all this stuff can be a good source of gossip, if you give somebody a nick name.
If you do not like to be called “our wife” or any of those names, just say so.
By the way, how to you call your husband in front of them? By his first name? Well, it is not the best thing to do. Do you have a nice nick name for him.. I call my one “sweetheart” in my own language. That works well for both of us, the in laws and the friends, too.

What amazes me about this Yoruba culture of a thing is that you are expected to call his aburos aunty and uncle, meanwhile, they are NOT obligated to do the same. They will call you by your name because according to their heirarchy, they are above you. It is all nonsense in my opinion because, as far as I am concerned, the respect you are expected to accord them is not accorded to you. It downgrades women and is an archaic culture. That is why they will come to your house and drop dishes in the sink for you to wash and expect to to do all the housework when you visit yyour inlaws, while your husband's siblings jollof away watching TV.
IMO, if it is going to be too much of an issue from your inlaws, just avoid calling them anyname or use nicknames. And if they are in your house, call them whatever you like...when your inlaws are no more there and if your husband does not mind. I'm not saying you should be rude to them, but respect them and carry yourself in such a way that they know that you expect them to respect you too. Shikena

Never heard of calling people younger than you aunty or uncle

It sounds quite strange to me and I doubt that I would agree to such a request from my husband. This again highlights why it is best for couples with similar cultures to get married.

heavensown: What amazes me about this Yoruba culture of a thing is that you are expected to call his aburos aunty and uncle, meanwhile, they are NOT obligated to do the same. They will call you by your name because according to their heirarchy, they are above you. It is all nonsense in my opinion because, as far as I am concerned, the respect you are expected to accord them is not accorded to you. It downgrades women and is an archaic culture. That is why they will come to your house and drop dishes in the sink for you to wash and expect to to do all the housework when you visit yyour inlaws, while your husband's siblings jollof away watching TV.
IMO, if it is going to be too much of an issue from your inlaws, just avoid calling them anyname or use nicknames. And if they are in your house, call them whatever you like...when your inlaws are no more there and if your husband does not mind. I'm not saying you should be rude to them, but respect them and carry yourself in such a way that they know that you expect them to respect you too. Shikena

[size=13pt]100% GBAM!![/size]

heavensown:
What amazes me about this Yoruba culture of a thing is that you are expected to call his aburos aunty and uncle, meanwhile, they are NOT obligated to do the same. They will call you by your name because according to their heirarchy, they are above you. It is all nonsense in my opinion because, as far as I am concerned, the respect you are expected to accord them is not accorded to you. It downgrades women and is an archaic culture. That is why they will come to your house and drop dishes in the sink for you to wash and expect to to do all the housework when you visit yyour inlaws, while your husband's siblings jollof away watching TV.
IMO, if it is going to be too much of an issue from your inlaws, just avoid calling them anyname or use nicknames. And if they are in your house, call them whatever you like...when your inlaws are no more there and if your husband does not mind. I'm not saying you should be rude to them, but respect them and carry yourself in such a way that they know that you expect them to respect you too. Shikena

can i say i love you?, this is it...It nakes a woman look desperate to marry their son. I have one anty who married a yoruba man. This man happened to be the the only son in the midst of six women and he is second to last born. Those women started making it a duty to always come around the house and give orders, feeling so free and all that. Not help with anything but complain and speak their local dialect(yoruba) at any slight provocation... complain about the schools my anty children goes to, what they wear and wjat they eat. It became like a cult thing, one sister will come and spend days and still going to her work. Immediately that one leaves another will come in, and they all have husbands exvept the last born.One day, My anty could not bear it anymore, she stood up to the eldest and gave it to her in her own pill. Her husband whinned and whinned. up till today non of them crossed that house again...i don't know why women act that way to their kind.