₦airaland Forum

I just watched a movie on YouTube (On Page 31) and so many thoughts came to my mind especially as regards why we sometimes endure abuse so much in our relationships whether verbal or physical..
I've seen people verbally abused and I've been a victim as well, so I know it's real.

I work in a hospital setting and I've seen countless cases of men beating their wives or girlfriends to the extent of needing medical attention. Funny enough, most of the time, it's the same abuser that would bring the victim to the hospital.
One that caught my attention most was a tall, dark, and beautiful Benin lady that was brought in by her "supposed" fiance many years ago. It was so bad that she had so many bruises all over her body and a cut on her finger which was bleeding. The man did not allow the doctor to clerk the patient in peace, he kept saying it's domestic accident. The doctor asked him how and he couldn't give a clear explanation.. So both the doctor and the nurses requested that he should excuse them while they treat her. He reluctantly left and then when the lady was asked what happened, with so much pains in her and tears, she said "they beat me, the guy and his sister", she even said that was not the first time.
She requested to be admitted after treatment to avoid going back to the house with the guy, the guy made all necessary payments and she was admitted.. They planned to keep her for as long as she wanted. The guy later left to get her goodies for her stay and remained there with her. Few hours later, she requested for discharge that she wouldn't like to sleep in the hospital, and they left together afterwards..

It's now like the grace of God is needed to be confident enough to move on when abuse becomes extreme..

So why do some people like to abuse others and why do many victims of abuse tolerate it even when it's severe

I think the main reason why most ladies in abusive relationship still remain is that; they're confused and they don't know what they want exactly from the relationship.

Believe this; the spending of money on them despite the domestic violent and the hot s*e they're getting from the guy has turned their brain upside down so they don't think straight anymore. Some even lied to their parents about the person they're dating, yet still in the relationship.

I meet my ex in an abusive relationship ( A secretive relationship with a married man) that beat her any how, yet lied to her parents that she's staying close to school, collecting money from her parents and even uncle abroad. Meanwhile it was the man that rented a flat for her in the town not even close to school.

She wasn't really cool living the place when we meet, but I told her if she's really willing and want to have a relationship with me, then she need to leave the place and stop everything she's having with the animal. (I guess I was stupid to some extent too right )

Whenever she's explaining the experience she had based on the abuse and domestic violent,then I will ask her that "how come you refuse to leave the place for almost two years" she doesn't really have a tangible reason or excuse for staying in the relationship with the man. (I do think he will change) that's always her stupid respond. The same man that use to beat his wife at home as well ooooo ,how can that one change. Then I know she's really confused and doesn't know what she want.

I later realized that the toxic and violet way has gotten deepen in her, because she seems toxic and violet whenever we have misunderstanding or argument. It's really funny , in her utterances, action. She started with biting , that's how she do fight back whenever her sugar daddy tend to beat her. The day she gave me the most terrible bit on my hand was the day I told myself "this girl is not for you" . Why should the negative influence she put herself in have a detrimental effect on my life (NO).
These and other bad characters of her was what lead to the breakup.

I hope any guy or girl should think straight and abscond from abusive relationship, because it very perilous to marry such an abusive man/woman.

Most are lost in-between the world of Love and Infatuation.

Jus like the response above me, they are simply jus confused fellows while most are scared they might not see someone else that’ll tolerate the nonsense attitude they’ve developed all along.

The after effects of an abusive relationship is quite sickening

Best thing to do is to leave whenever you discover any potential red flags 🚩 that you know you can’t tilerate

It's not that easy moving on.
Most times they get so attached and use to those beatings.
Sometimes it could be that they're thinking wat people would say esp in marriage.
And I would also add commitments or let's say gains.

Wotoporiously speaking

There's nothing to say again as my fellow comrades above don state my mind

My own be say make them die dia, most of this girls don't deserve pity anymore cuz they're the cause of their predicament.

When I use to be in love with Nigerian girls that's when I realized how stupid and confused most of them are.

Na who love without sense dey die young

When a lady have no means of survival, and depends on the abuser for basic things such as food, leaving becomes the harder choice. So they'd rather continue enduring the abuse, than face the harsh reality outside.

.

In most cases they depend on the abuser for survival. Or have low self esteem- i cant find another man or people will mock me for being a divorcee.

I'm currently a victim of one right now as I type..But I'm thinking and planning seriously on how to fly the fence that has been connecting the both of us.....As in,I don tire...How can a lady whom I tend to marry be abusing me verbally and I'm that kind of a guy who wouldn't for once lay his hands on a woman...........

it's either the dicq is good or the pocket is handsome...lols

don't be deceived,gals know who's calm,sweet, caring and whatever good you name but some of them see them as boring and weak...


just like a gal i dated back then in 2020(i was soo new to the game). that i was caring,calm and the always around guy.omoh time came this girl started seeing me as a boring guy and started slowing down our online & offline convos..till I saw a chat where he was questioning a guy for deceiving her and even begging.. nna i felt it and had to accept that the end of it is near...


guys,gals are weird

Sonnobax15:

I'm currently a victim of one right now as I type..But I'm thinking and planning seriously on how to fly the fence that has been connection the both of us.....As in,I don tire...How can a lady whom I tend to marry be abusing me verbally and I'm that kind of a guy who wouldn't for once lay his hands on a woman...........

Flee from that relationship my brother and find yourself a well-mannered lady that will give you PEACE OF MIND

Sonnobax15:

I'm currently a victim of one right now as I type..But I'm thinking and planning seriously on how to fly the fence that has been connection the both of us.....As in,I don tire...How can a lady whom I tend to marry be abusing me verbally and I'm that kind of a guy who wouldn't for once lay his hands on a woman...........

Just imagine!
I know it goes both ways.. Probably, you're a cool headed person.
Sometimes, people just take ones simplicity for stupidity.
It's well

Sonnobax15:

I'm currently a victim of one right now as I type..But I'm thinking and planning seriously on how to fly the fence that has been connection the both of us.....As in,I don tire...How can a lady whom I tend to marry be abusing me verbally and I'm that kind of a guy who wouldn't for once lay his hands on a woman...........

Come to me and I'll give you rest

Nehyooh:
Flee from that relationship my brother and find yourself a well-mannered lady that will give you PEACE OF MIND

. Na so much brother......There are certain things I won't say here,but I truly regret falling into such relationship...

Vijuchoco:
Come to me and I'll give you rest

. What kinda rest are you talking about?

I lived briefly in Jos. I recalled this couple from Benue that the husband usually beat the wife to stupor till he beat her to death.
When they asked the wife's parent why they didn't take their daughter away, they said the man was the one taking care of the wife and they get parents. I was so mad that I feel like I should fight for her.
Abuses are done cos the recipient doesn't v the will to leave cos of reasons like finance, lack of courage to survive alone or creation of fear cos some men ll threaten the lives of ladies that if they leave, they are finished.
Dear men, your days of domestic violence are numbered.
I ll start from Abuja.

Nehyooh:
Flee from that relationship my brother and find yourself a well-mannered lady that will give you PEACE OF MIND

What ll you advise if it's a man?

Sonnobax15:
. What kinda rest are you talking about?

Peace of mind nar

Vijuchoco:

. Talk now before I go change my mind go report you give my big sis,Ahnie

Vijuchoco:

Peace of mind nar

oya let's Link up na 😜

Sonnobax15:
oya let's Link up na 😜

Oya nau

Vijuchoco:
Oya nau

whatsapp number ASAP

Guest2008:
I just watched a movie on YouTube (On Page 31) and so many thoughts came to my mind especially as regards why we sometimes endure abuse so much in our relationships whether verbal or physical..
I've seen people verbally abused and I've been a victim as well, so I know it's real.

I work in a hospital setting and I've seen countless cases of men beating their wives or girlfriends to the extent of needing medical attention. Funny enough, most of the time, it's the same abuser that would bring the victim to the hospital.
One that caught my attention most was a tall, dark, and beautiful Benin lady that was brought in by her "supposed" fiance many years ago. It was so bad that she had so many bruises all over her body and a cut on her finger which was bleeding. The man did not allow the doctor to clerk the patient in peace, he kept saying it's domestic accident. The doctor asked him how and he couldn't give a clear explanation.. So both the doctor and the nurses requested that he should excuse them while they treat her. He reluctantly left and then when the lady was asked what happened, with so much pains in her and tears, she said "they beat me, the guy and his sister", she even said that was not the first time.
She requested to be admitted after treatment to avoid going back to the house with the guy, the guy made all necessary payments and she was admitted.. They planned to keep her for as long as she wanted. The guy later left to get her goodies for her stay and remained there with her. Few hours later, she requested for discharge that she wouldn't like to sleep in the hospital, and they left together afterwards..

It's now like the grace of God is needed to be confident enough to move on when abuse becomes extreme..

So why do some people like to abuse others and why do many victims of abuse tolerate it even when it's severe

Honestly, any woman you see staying with an abusive man, is just stranded and have given the man the impression that she has no where to go, so deal with me as you like

Why should some one be living with a beater, only lazy women who can't provide for themselves does that

Real boss lady can't be dressed down talk less of being abused

Goodlady:
I lived briefly in Jos. I recalled this couple from Benue that the husband usually beat the wife to stupor till he beat her to death.
When they asked the wife's parent why they didn't take their daughter away, they said the man was the one taking care of the wife and they get parents. I was so mad that I feel like I should fight for her.
Abuses are done cos the recipient doesn't v the will to leave cos of reasons like finance, lack of courage to survive alone or creation of fear cos some men ll threaten the lives of ladies that if they leave, they are finished.
Dear men, your days of domestic violence are numbered.
I ll start from Abuja.

What ll you advise if it's a man?

I'll give the same advise. Believe me having abusive partner either verbal or physical abuse, it won't help the relationship much more marriage.

Sonnobax15:
. Na so much brother......There are certain things I won't say here,but I truly regret falling into such relationship...

Just do the needful bro !

AndroidAI:
When a lady have no means of survival, and depends on the abuser for basic things such as food, leaving becomes the harder choice. So they'd rather continue enduring the abuse, than face the harsh reality outside.

Exactly

Sonnobax15:
. Na so much brother......There are certain things I won't say here,but I truly regret falling into such relationship...

Its part of life experience
Just walk away when you can, you are not glued

Sonnobax15:
. Talk now before I go change my mind go report you give my big sis,Ahnie

Sweetie please can you just do me a huge favour by not mentioning my sobriquet in any conversation with those decorated urchins?,I get lots of unsolicited mentions from these ragtags.


Warmest regards

Nehyooh:
I think the main reason why most ladies in abusive relationship still remain is that; they're confused and they don't know what they want exactly from the relationship.

Believe this; the spending of money on them despite the domestic violent and the hot s*e they're getting from the guy has turned their brain upside down so they don't think straight anymore. Some even lied to their parents about the person they're dating, yet still in the relationship.

I meet my ex in an abusive relationship ( A secretive relationship with a married man) that beat her any how, yet lied to her parents that she's staying close to school, collecting money from her parents and even uncle abroad. Meanwhile it was the man that rented a flat for her in the town not even close to school.

She wasn't really cool living the place when we meet, but I told her if she's really willing and want to have a relationship with me, then she need to leave the place and stop everything she's having with the animal. (I guess I was stupid to some extent too right )

Whenever she's explaining the experience she had based on the abuse and domestic violent,then I will ask her that "how come you refuse to leave the place for almost two years" she doesn't really have a tangible reason or excuse for staying in the relationship with the man. (I do think he will change) that's always her stupid respond. The same man that use to beat his wife at home as well ooooo ,how can that one change. Then I know she's really confused and doesn't know what she want.

I later realized that the toxic and violet way has gotten deepen in her, because she seems toxic and violet whenever we have misunderstanding or argument. It's really funny , in her utterances, action. She started with biting , that's how she do fight back whenever her sugar daddy tend to beat her. The day she gave me the most terrible bit on my hand was the day I told myself "this girl is not for you" . Why should the negative influence she put herself in have a detrimental effect on my life (NO).
These and other bad characters of her was what lead to the breakup.

I hope any guy or girl should think straight and abscond from abusive relationship, because it very perilous to marry such an abusive man/woman.

so after claiming mr nice guy eventually u beat her right

Sonnobax15:
whatsapp number ASAP

From frying pan to fire.
Guy get away from that relationship and have your peace of mind

ahnie:
From frying pan to fire.
Guy get away from that relationship and have your peace of mind

. ok sis,I don run far away....But she still dey apologize like this cha....

Sonnobax15:
. ok sis,I don run far away....But she still dey apologize like this cha....

Do you by any means value your mental health at all?

Anu re se mi wallaihi.

I would never for once stomach domestic violence instead I would take my leave it gives low self esteem.

headbasher96:
so after claiming mr nice guy eventually u beat her right

Beat her you said? I NEVER did such !

I actually ran away from the said lady. I can't allow any girl frustrate my life or kill me with toxic characters, my siblings and family still need me.