Ok

Your Carrier should be most important

4-7 days
4-7 days
4-7 days
As in we actually have to debate over a matter that will be over in one week.
If they are in PH, kuku send them over to my parents for the week. They will be so happy that they will not even want to return.

tosinhtml:


How is it so difficult that the husband cannot understand this simple maths? So he wants her to push her graduation till next year. 1 week of staying away will not kill them, they can hire a live in maid in Netherlands for a week and that won't cost more than 2000 Euros. I don't understand how this type of simple issues become a problem in 2023.

I think the info on this story is incomplete, because it's not making sense.

E go surprise you. Best believe I have seen someone at my place of work whose husband stormed the office because of two days training. 2 days, not two weeks!

Let the man help madam get paid help to take care of the children for that week simple.

Op, if it's you, this is not the time to insist on not wanting external caregivers in your home. It's not best but the system works over there so things will most likely not go (too) wrong in JUST ONE WEEK.

Wotoporiously speaking

No comments, cuz if there was understanding between both parties this wouldn't have been an issue at all to begin with.

Couples who don't have understanding tend to have issues the most especially on small issues like this

vuxelle:
Hello all,
I need to bring this to this section for better balanced contribution, I have also updated some earlier information due to better information

The husband of a lady is against his wife attending a 4-7 days school course from Germany to the Netherlands. Participants can leave on the 5th day if they want, participants will also get 800 euros as participating fee. The course starts in 2 months' time, madam already signed up without her husband’s knowledge, and just recently told her husband about the signing up (They have been discussing the issue of whether to go or not and the best options). Her husband is against this and told the woman to shift the course to next year because her husband can not travel to be with the children due to circumstances that can not be resolved now. The kids are between (7-12 years). Although the husband will be able to travel later in the year, however, madam will have none of it at all, because according to her, it means her graduation will also be shifted to the next academic session/next year, this, she will never ever accept. So no negotiation about it.

Although the discussion has been going on between both, about the best option, madam suddenly told the man she has resolved to go and nothing can stop her. The husband is in shock, it appears madam has been playing and acting along as if she was genuinely looking for other solutions. Moreover, the husband noted that madam is no longer willing to discuss the issue with the man, as the woman has become angry/rude/verbally abusive. ( the husband acknowledges that this behaviour is not new, as anytime issues like this come up, the woman always throws up this defence mechanism- gets angry, stops talking to the man or becomes abusive/ talks rudely to the man. )

Naturally, the husband is a cool guy though, madam is as stubborn as anything and always has her way on all issues. The man is genuinely afraid that the children might be exposed to abuse and other things, moreover, he feels the last child is too young to be left alone

According to the man, the woman is a good person, but very very stubborn. Everything has to be her way. To the extent that her family has near zero influence on her, so there is nothing he can do in that respect, hence he usually pays heavily for counseling

They are both doing their best for the family (both of them confirmed this in separate meetings with them).

What is your take on this, please?

A woman can not be good and very stubborn at the same time, bottom line is that she is not a good person, and always wanting things her own way makes her a terrible person.A man will not endure nonsense forever.

kozmicity:
■ I agree with your number one because marriages are not partnerships like you said. Potential issues for example could be the kids, ideally it'll be better to get a babysitter but we don't know if they're the type of couple to not want other people around their kids.
■ And finally thank you for saying they had an agreement for the man to travel, agreement is the keyword here. They haven't reached an agreement for her to travel yet. For all we know, the agreement they had could be one that keeps the man busy/away from home for a year and she abruptly wants him to cut it short thus breaking the deal.

1. If they are that kind of couple, them the man is the problem in this case.

2. Well, like I said, not all marriages function as a partnership so in this case, the man refusing to extend the same commonsense courtesy to his wife means his idea of marriage isn't that of a partnership and in such a situation, the partner who is left shortchanged in such a union does not need be paralyzed by that at all. The woman should rightly consider leaving the kids with a nanny for the week that she will be away and move on with her course and other things in like manner.

The husband should not be selfish.
Rather, he should be considerate and supportive of his wife's ambition.

I doubt the husband is "cool" as stated in the post, because if he were, he'd try to work things out with his wife, instead of having his way at all cost.
He's probably one of those silent slow poison .

Kobojunkie:
■ Ask the woman to find someone, maybe a church member who is a stay-at-home wife to look after her kids while she is away for the course. She can negotiate fees and whatever else with the lady and her family so she gets the help she needs for the entire 2-month period or until her husband travels back from wherever he may be to take care of his own kids. The husband can show up while she is already enrolled in the course to take over care of the children that way.

Marriage is supposed to be an agreement and a partnership between a man and a woman, not an enslavement of a woman by a man.

Seriously, women's career matter more than children. She can dump the kids somewhere while she go wherever she wants to go

Dinny002:
This has always been a source of head ache

For no commonsense reason.

The husband of a lady is against his wife attending a 4-7 days school course from Germany to the Netherlands

. Participants can leave on the 5th day if they want, participants will also get 800 euros as participating fee.

can you expansiate property on this two odd statements

What circumstances cannot be resolved that makes it impossible for the husband to travel? Let's start from there

Manydays01:
■ Seriously, women's career matter more than children. She can dump the kids somewhere while she go wherever she wants to go

1. She is only going for a week's course, not a career life trip. Even oyinbo dey use nannies daily.

Manydays01:


Seriously, women's career matter more than children. She can dump the kids somewhere while she go wherever she wants to go

If you like, use the word dump to it make seem terrible, that is your business!

Career or whatever aside, a woman needs a break (to herself) from time to time to recharge.

Kobojunkie:
Na only 5 days sef!

Story is virtually incomplete and shrewed

Kobojunkie:
1. She is only going for a week's course, not a career life trip. Even oyinbo dey use nannies daily.

A trip from Germany to Netherlands from Nigeria
And after day 5 participants will €800

baralatie:

Story is virtually incomplete and shrewed

A man refusing to babysit his kids while his wife is away for a one-week course that takes place 2 months from now is incomplete, how?

baralatie:

A trip from Germany to Netherlands from Nigeria
And after day 5 participants will €800

From Nigeria ke?

Planning and communication is everything.
The man appears a bit insecure in this case however and that is not a good sign.
The wife should have a career and make as much progress in life as the husband.
In a proper marriage this makes for better security for all.

Kobojunkie:
From Nigeria ke?

That is what the one of the details op has left out

How did it get to this point?
Is this supposed to be a problem if taking care of the kids is shared responsibility.
Oh, their church always tell them to be submissive.
So she should carry it over.
Smh

Kobojunkie:
1. They can't seem to come to an agreement because the one who is currently benefitting from the agreement he had with his wife is clearly refusing to allow her to same freedom she did him. Meaning the marriage is not a partnership but something else — not all marriages are a partnership by the way.

2. What makes you think there are no plans to tackle potential issues? What potential issues do you imagine could exist in this case?

3. The man is already doing this. Recall, OP said that the man traveled meaning the woman already agreed to him leaving her to be alone with the kids for a period of time. So, all he needs to do here is come back and let her do the same for a period of time. Simple!

I agree with kozmicity on this. The post stated that she had already registered for the course long before she intimated the husband about it. If she had told him earlier, would they not have had ample time to prepare towards it? I think there are deeper issues as someone had earlier said, but what I can say from the story is that the woman is manipulative.

Reinamaria:


If you like, use the word dump to make seem terrible, that is your business!

Career or whatever aside, a woman needs a break (to herself) from time to time to recharge.

I'm sorry, maybe that word wasn't necessary. I think they can kill those children. More reasons I used to advised women to focus on their careers rather than getting married as it's a waste of their precious time

Reference:
Planning and communication is everything.
The man appears a bit insecure in this case however and that is not a good sign.
The wife should have a career and make as much progress in life as the husband.
In a proper marriage this makes for better security for all.

That na commonsense now! Na why dem say two heads are better than one.

This man is an enemy of progress , some men are on this table they don't want their wives to have progress in their lives , same men will still complain if their wives refuses to do anything.

Some people are so self centered and selfish, they don't want their partners progress .

Open business for your wife problem, allow her to work wahala. They go about complaining how jobless their wives are .

God will save us from all forms of enemies of progress.

Madam husband wife, husband wife madam .

This your right up doesn't flow well

Miyachi:
■ I agree with kozmicity on this. The post stated that she had already registered for the course long before she intimated the husband about it.
■ If she had told him earlier, would they not have had enough time to prepare towards it? I think there are deeper issues as someone had earlier said. But what I can say from the story is that the woman is manipulative.

1. Does the man also ask his wife before deciding to register or go for everything he does in his life? Does the story tell you that?

2. The story says the course takes place in 2 months. Isn't that early enough by your assessment? As for deeper issues, we don't need to try to resolve all of our life issues everytime a concern comes up. According to Op, this is simply a trip to go do her course. I get the sense that if she has said she was headed over to see her family in the village or something for a week in 2 months time, that wouldn't have been made an issue of.

Manydays01:


I'm sorry, maybe that word wasn't necessary. I think they can kill those children. More reasons I used to advised women to focus on their careers rather than getting married as it's a waste of their precious time

To begin with, who are you to "advise" women on what they can and cannot have?
And who says a woman can't have a career and be married? (So, men can and women can't?)
All they need to do is avoid your likes, and go for good, considerate and supportive partners.