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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please (14435 Views)
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Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by baralatie(m): 2:34pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
abobote:As in holes dey the thing like crazy 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by descarado: 2:34pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
pocohantas:And the authority did not arrest the idiot? Nigeria is lawless honestly. 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by tosinhtml: 2:37pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
pocohantas: Na wa o, when i first saw "Family vs Career", I thought it was a big problem until I saw that it is 5 days absence is causing issues. 2 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by kapelvej: 2:38pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
KanwuliaExtra:Evil, but sounds very reasonable |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Shokoloko(f): 2:40pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Miyachi:Please rest. My spouse did not know I had applied to go back for a second degree until I showed him my admission letter. Till today i find ceritifcates of courses in his wardrobe that he completes and doesn't remember to share with me. It has not killed the marriage. She gave him 2 months notice for a week long trip. That is fair. What I don't understand is why the couple is unable to find someone to take care of the kids for one week. They have enough time 4 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by baralatie(m): 2:41pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Streetmovement:The misunderstanding came about when the wife booked a one week teaching training all the way to Netherlands Holland with €800 refund after day 5. And the husband was not aware until 2 months to the alleged programme. It is not the programme that is the issue. It is a whole something else that was thrown into the fray that brought the misuu |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by pocohantas(f): 2:43pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
descarado: We were too stunned to speak sef. It was during work hours o. He was shouting! The lady was embarrassed. We had to rally around her and told her it is nothing. This was after he has gone. He spent like 1hr+, that seemed like a year.🤣🤣🤣 tosinhtml: This lady was scheduled for a training. Friday and Saturday. To come back Sunday morning. He came to the office on Thursday. Lmao! 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Kobojunkie: 2:44pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
baralatie:If that were the case, then his putting this up as an issue is made even more ridiculous. 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by baralatie(m): 2:50pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:As long as we don't have information to the whole story we cannot say it was ridiculous |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Miyachi: 2:50pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:I don't really see how your first point ties to what I said but nonetheless let me clarify. I would expect that a wife or husband would take any such decisions that could alter their living arrangements, even if it be just for a day, together with their partner. It is important to note that the post says the husband "can't" be available to take care of the kids, not that he chose so. |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Kobojunkie: 2:53pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Miyachi:1. Does the man also consult his wife first before registering or considering any matter? You didn't answer this question, did you? 2. He can't be available then the woman can get a nanny or have the kids stay over at her mum's or something. This really is a non issue. 2 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by InvertedHammer: 2:55pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
vuxelle:/ The woman is an idiot. No sensible woman with kids abroad will make such arrangements without discussing with the husband first. All the talks about watching the kids, etc would have been ironed out first considering that the course is in another country. She is very irresponsible. Who is she trying to impress with €800 (which won't last a week in expenses anyways)? / |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Socratiz: 2:57pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Firstly, it is obvious each of this couple has a different core value. The core value of the husband is the family. He probably grew up on a stable and closely-knit home. So he prioritise the family/children over career. But the wife's core value is career. I would be surprised if she didn't grow up in a home where the woman was marginalized or even maltreated because of low career. Career gives her a sense of personal worth and value therefore, she could not forgo this opportunity. In any case, for a training which is only one week, this should pose no problems for them. I had to reread the post to be sure it is not a two-month course. Both of them need to make the sacrifice. Get a sit-in person and pay her to look after the children. Even if they end up paying with the 800 Euro which the wife will get from the course. The man mentioned that the wife adopts some unhealthy methods to have her way whenever they have a friction. This needs to be dealt with. I suspect the wife may have some underlying trauma which need to be resolved. A professional counsellor should be able to help with that. Please solve your marital problem and live together in peace. Cheers |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by tosinhtml: 2:58pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
InvertedHammer: Oga, you sabi read english abi you no sabi read english? So the woman should postpone her school graduation by a year? You sure say you go school at all? 4 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by tosinhtml: 3:00pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Socratiz: Na lie oga, one week will not kill or elevate anybody's career. She just needs to do that programme for 5 days so that she can graduate that same year. The way you people gaslight on this forum is just mad, this has nothing to do with prioritising the family/children over career. 5 days absence no go kill anybody. 3 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by InvertedHammer: 3:01pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
tosinhtml:/ Which part of "madam already signed up without her husband's knowledge" do you slowpoke not understand? That's not a game a woman with kids abroad should play. Crawl back to your village if you don't understand the issue. / 2 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Kobojunkie: 3:03pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
baralatie:You know the couple? 2 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by tosinhtml: 3:03pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
InvertedHammer: Husbands knowledge or not, 5 days absence from home will not make or kill anyone. The children will still be alive by the time she gets back & the husband has 2 months to prepare. You want her to have carry-over to another year because of 5 days. Omo ona wicked for this forum. 5 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Reinamaria(f): 3:05pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
InvertedHammer: You're not the husband, and you're this angry? Woah! And no, she's not an idiot. She just has an inconsiderate husband. 5 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by NoToPile: 3:14pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
tosinhtml: . 5 days absence won't kill anybody in real life only on Nairaland. The issue is a non issue and you see the way some guys are posting nonsense up and down for a 5 day course. Issoright. 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Miyachi: 3:14pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: What makes you think he doesn't, does it also say so in the post? |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Kobojunkie: 3:17pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Miyachi:1. The fact that even after being given a 2-month notice of her plan, he still goes ahead to make an issue of this speaks volumes. vuxelle:Also, that he claims he will not be back in time for his wife to go on her 1-week course in two months' time also speaks volumes. 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by GolDRoger: 3:18pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: From what the Op posted the course is no more than 7days. Unless am missing something here. That Man Get mind sha, 4-7 days thing you wan add 365days Extra Haba! 2 Likes |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Kobojunkie: 3:20pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
GolDRoger:1. Sorry, that was my mistake! I thought I had already changed that. |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by vuxelle: 3:31pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
JovialJune: |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Cromagnon: 3:34pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Why did she marry if career is so important to her? sisisioge: |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by vuxelle: 3:36pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
ecolime:probably because you did not read it 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Kobojunkie: 3:37pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Cromagnon:So, only the man is allowed to have a career in marriage? The woman cannot have the same freedom? 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by vuxelle: 3:43pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
baralatie:hmmmm, better to comment based on the info available 1. 4-7 means after the 4th day, you can leave on the 5th day if you wish 2. the cost of this trip paid was paid as part of the school fees. Participants gets this fund back because the local council subsidizes the fee for only those who paid for the course during the enrolement. 1 Like |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by Miyachi: 3:43pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Like I said, I feel there are deeper issues here, more than meets the eye. It might not even be the course or her absence but just that he wants to latch on to it to pour out his annoyance over something not remotely connected. Same thing with the woman. These things might seem simple but they're usually not. |
Re: Wife vs Husband : Family vs Career. Help Needed please by vuxelle: 3:44pm On Mar 16, 2023 |
baralatie:, please read again |
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