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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling (38915 Views)
Selfish Sibling Willing To Do Anything To Solely Inherit / Can One Have 4 Cars Parked At Home And Still Have A Sibling Using Keke To Work? / Should I Distance Myself From My Family? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by xevove2061: 1:13pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Gloriagee: Make she drop from pedestal abi? Shebi na one italy girl wey her family share money wey she send them use build house, she say she wan come back, them dey tell am male she no come. |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Gloriagee(f): 1:19pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Please lets keep it real. Her parents invested in her by setting funds aside to pay part of her tuition. Its possible somethings have gone wrong with respect to her expectations but wat happens to communication. Her folks may be civil servants, we dont know. Her mum is so hurt and has refused to speak to her. She can reach out to her, explain whatever is making life hellish to her and get the blessings of a mother. xevove2061: 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by xevove2061: 1:20pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
[quote author=CosmicDust post=122209709] A fool like you will not help your parents but will gladly contribute to their funeral expenses. You are a phelgm. Hope this foolish comment can be leaked to your loved ones so they know the nature of your heart. If you call me entitled again, thunder will fire you. Did you read me saying i am the beneficiary?[/quote Bleep you bro you are entitled. If you are not, you wont have opened a thread about this issue. Comig here and claimimg you are loving ok, if you are, you wont even bother if your sister brings money or not. You and your entitled siblings will foot the bills yourselves. Whenever anything cones up in my family, i ask my siblings and if they do not or cannot contribute at the time, i foot the bleeping bills myself. I never hold it against them. My brother is richer than myself, i do not even bother him when it comes to family expenses. My country home was built on my sweat. I did not even bother asking my brother for support. I do not need his money. You are not a man. You think you are but you are not. Entitled mofacka |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Klass99(f): 1:21pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Nobody: 1:23pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
deewhydoski: That’s why God made man not be able to see into the future. If parents could see into the future the kind of manipulation that will be going on will be top notch. The one that they see won’t show them care and give money. They might leave that one to starve to death or not put in effort to make it a better adult in the society while the one that they see will sheepishly give them all he has and show “care” they will put all their lifesavings on that one. Just let One big man of God like Adeboye or Kumuyi come to your house and prophesy that you will be governor of your state. You will see how they will start treating you will change even if they were treating you like dirt. 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by xevove2061: 1:29pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Gloriagee: I cannot speak for other children. I maintain that children need to take care of their parents because their lives stopped when they birthed us. I am that aware. I kmow what parents go through, i have seen the good, bad and uhly in how i was raised as a kid. I still maontain that, that girl is not doing anything wrong. She is already paying fees for another sibling, plus se ding 40k momthly to her parent. What about the boys in the house. What are they doing. If that dirty cosmixdust boy is saying he sends 70k to his parents too, thats 110k, which is very good for monthly feeding atleast. What else do they want from the girl? My salary in naira runs into 8 figures monhly and i still do not see what i use the momey for, if not to pay one bill or the other and the sisters case is not different. Why will a grown ass married man bring this kind of issue here in the first place when he should, as a matter of fact, up hos contribution frok his side and his siblings side if he feels his elder sister is not bringing enough to the table. 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Gloriagee(f): 1:41pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Shes not paying the fees from his write up. I personally dont expect anything from people. Some people dont even get to say thank you after a ' huge' favour. Do i dwell on it? A little but more importantly we meuve! xevove2061: 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by akube34: 1:42pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
InvertedHammer:all I am saying is simple. $80 is too small. She no go say she dey pay hospital bill here. Abeggi 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by deewhydoski(m): 1:50pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
RomanGreen:I am not selfish and self centered, I do a little I can do for my parents and my siblings. Some people are saying that training a child is an investment that parents must get a reward for. It is not so. God put children in our care so that we must nurture them and train them. It is ordain by God 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by CosmicDust: 2:39pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
[quote author=xevove2061 post=122218101][/quote] Na this kind baßtard go watch him loved ones die then spend big on burial. Greedy evil scum. To hell with you. |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by CosmicDust: 2:45pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Gloriagee: Don't mind the lowlife please. Says he has a house and house like who gives a fck. He didn't even comprehend my story before going on his tirade like i am the reason behind his problems. xevove2061or whatever you call yourself, i will bring issues i want to Nairaland anonymously. If that hurts you, your choice to harm yourself. I won't let foolish comments like his spoil the wonderful advise many have given me here. |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by kewelljoseph(m): 2:45pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Those saying she ain’t doing well abroad that’s why she is acting like this is talking out of point. From what I read here she is not even checking up on her siblings at all , and she might be a controlling type too and u knw how these people are if u no do as them talk na problem. Well op your case isn’t far frm mine but I shall prayed and God heard my prayer and blessed me. See when it comes to money , there is nothin like family or brother or sister just knw that. Some people are just naturally tight handed , while some are generous. Just pray mk God bless u boss, u can still mk it here also don’t stop talkin to her she’s still your blood just check up once in a while on her but whatever u do don’t ask her for money anymore if she ain’t giving it to u willingly. 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by DestinyGlory: 3:15pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Interesting |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Nobody: 3:15pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
CosmicDust:your sis is stingy biko. 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by tylesh(f): 3:17pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
You don't want to hear some other people's story. Some of us have siblings like these.... I think you should just let her be |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by xevove2061: 3:21pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
CosmicDust: Lmao! Go and take care of your parents they need you more than you need nairaland. |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Klass99(f): 3:25pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Gloriagee(f): 3:30pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
The thing most average Nigerians have been at the receiving end of entitled relatives and well wishers so i get him. You get a mortgage, they assume you earn so much but i could tell your post was different. Maybe something else is up with your sis though ..... CosmicDust: 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:43pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
TheRealestGuy: i get you but remember some parents have the capacity to push you through beyond 18 The aim arguement wasnt focused on 18 and above but from birth till may be 17 |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by larrypourl(m): 3:51pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Gloriagee:Big mess. The problem with Nigerian govt is that they failed to review wages in accordance with inflation, which to me is plain wickedness. You see ASUU and other unions crying and begging for help when govt refused to review their wages for 13/14 years. How can wages remain static for 13years with the double digit inflation we keep having. A graduate assistant employed 13years ago received 90k and in 2023 you're still paying a graduate assistant same 90k, tell me why such lecturer won't extort students to get more money to survive. The truth is that govt is fueling corruption. Majority of civil servants in Abuja survive and live on corruption because I don't know how they afford to pay rents there. 2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Davidgregs(m): 3:52pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Klass99:Just as Lucky dube said, "The choice i made did'nt work out the way i thought it would". In the end life itself is about regrets, but I hope you don't blame yourself for your actions or inactions later in life 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Klass99(f): 3:59pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Sapeleomi: 4:02pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
CosmicDust:____--------------------------------------------------------- Hi bro, First and foremost. You have to clarify what your sister earns and her expenses. She has only been in Canada for 60 months and you feel she is okay financially. She may not be. She may be struggling financially, emotionally and trying to settle down to clear debts. 2, Secondly, l assume she would assist you and the family if she is stable herself. You alluded that she sends money but the issue is that it is too small. She does not owe you and your parents anything!!! Africans feel entitled and see relationship with children or their siblings as transactional. Address poverty and plan your life and stop relying on others.. It will lead to dissapointment. Is clear that you have never lived on your own, pay rent and bills and also suddenly have to set aside money for others during an emergency. 3, As a young person, take life insurance to protect yourself, that's what many of our parents should do to avoid medical health issues and large bills in older years...Plan your retirement.. 4, God forbid, if your sister dies suddenly or loses her job, you will survive and move on with your life. 5, if you want people to do more for you in life. Be grateful for the little and you get more in return. A positive and agreeable attitude gets you more favours in life. 6, l personally feel with your attitude, high demand and unhappiness. You will do your sister a lot of good/favour. If you indeed distance yourself from her. 7, The question you must ask yourself what value do you add to her life? When did you call her and ask about her welfare, her relationship, how she feels? Her relationship, children and her state of mind? You think she is robot or slave sent to Canada to make your life easy!! THINK RIGHT BEFORE YOU RUIN AND LOOSE YOUR SISTER BECAUSE OF SELFISHNESS. I LIKE TO THINK YOUR PARENTS KNOW THEIR DAUGHTER BETTER THAN YOU. 8, Yes, you are assisting with your younger siblings. Do it with love and no bitterness or comparison. You have not even clarified if your sister has PR to stay and work in canada. You are stressing her out instead of trying to appeal to her. If you continue with your entitlement mentality, keeping grudge over money and imposing HIGH expectations on others without understanding. Then you run the risk of loosing your sister for life. If she gets married or start having children.. I don't think her family will take well to your grievance.. Yes, you are under pressure yourself and need help but stop being demanding and controlling ... Asking for help or support from others is optional not mandatory. Am definitely sure if you change your tone and make her understand that her contributions to the will be appreciated. She will do help. You cannot condemn something people to get the best out of people. You need to build understanding and team work rather than threaten isolation... 9.Before you judge her ask yourself what kind of support does she have in the event of her loosing her job or failing ill? You have a support network in naija and can bounce back by getting support from the community. Abroad people rarely borrow money to anybody or house others when they are homeless. What social network or security does she have in canada? Can she trust you with her finances? 10.Be grateful for what you have and improve your communication and relationship and stop making unreasonable demand or expectation... 5 years in Canada and you expect wonders unless you want to do Yahoo. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Gloriagee(f): 4:04pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
90k is a joke... same reason the country is losing doctors... larrypourl: 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by mzeepositive: 4:11pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Klass99: 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Klass99(f): 4:31pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by CosmicDust: 4:35pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
Sapeleomi: You all get it wrong. I am not bitching about she not assisting me or my younger ones. I simply was expressing how a woman will feel less obliged to the parents that made sacrifices for her. That's the story here. 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by CosmicDust: 4:38pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
xevove2061: At least i have parents. And I love them. |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by CosmicDust: 4:42pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
DestinyGlory: Because someone chooses to air out his mind online, you begin to judge the person that he is entitled? Did you read the piece, did i beg anybody for money, or what the fúck is your problem? |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by DestinyGlory: 4:59pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
CosmicDust: I see. When most people complain they only want to vent and not necessarily seek or accept solutions to their problems - so they continue to recycle seasons of pain. Being rude to everyone that doesn’t agree with your ideology is not going to solve your problem. Hopefully you got the relief you were seeking by “airing out your mind”. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by CosmicDust: 5:10pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
DestinyGlory: Really i am rude? You called me ENTITLED. Should i take your low-minded insult as a commendation? Maybe you should learn how to read, comprehend and use wisdom in your discussions. And also stop comparing yourself to others. That silly statement made me stop reading your epistle. My regards to your mum, hope she's stronger now. I have been in a police cell for 24hrs, that experience is not savory at all. |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by achimendy(m): 5:31pm On Apr 01, 2023 |
CosmicDust: I have similar issues too with our first born who's a female but married. I think she's even worst than your sister, but what me and my brothers do is to ignore her but shoulder any responsibility that comes to our family. Recently we had a family project that demands financial contribution from all of us, but she told my mum that she's a woman, so she won't partake. Some women are just wicked to the bones. 2 Likes |
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