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Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Selfish Sibling Willing To Do Anything To Solely Inherit / Can One Have 4 Cars Parked At Home And Still Have A Sibling Using Keke To Work? / Should I Distance Myself From My Family? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:54pm On Mar 31, 2023
3kay945:


Thanks for the robust response to that post. I share same thought with you but wasn't interested in responding to the post.
cool grin

You are welcome

thats the main reason why africans we are poor

1 we invest in wrong things kids must be raised not invested in as returns

2 we should learn that raising your own kids is must, not favour or sacrifice

3 learn to invest in things that return your own money over time, not a human being that can change its mind, here we talk of properties and shares etc

4 If you raise them well there will be there for you but if you raise them using the words i sacrificed for you or as if you are doing them a favour they might not like you in the end becoz they didnt ask to be born

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SavageResponse(m): 8:55pm On Mar 31, 2023
Useless sister

3 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by VenExchangee: 8:56pm On Mar 31, 2023
OP, abroad life no easy, na 10months I stay for Cyprus come run come back because I was only spending without earning, who no go no know, abroad is not worth the hype sometimes bro.
E no easy...
I still they send money to some of my guys till today.
Only Bills per month will shock you.
Then in Cyprus, my monthly house rent was 400 pounds, light bill every two weeks 400TL, water 1kTL monthly, electricity was the worst, I was paying like 8kTL wifi 500TL feeding never they, taxi for school at least 10k TL because I went with student visa and my house wasn't close to school, then 1k Turkish lira(TL) was 41-43k naira and house rent was calculated in either pounds, euro or dollar
I was spending at least 1.6mi naira monthly then,

Whoever that tells you abroad is easy is lying to you.

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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by VenExchangee: 8:57pm On Mar 31, 2023
SavageResponse:
Useless sister
As if life easy for abroad

5 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by MrDoGood(m): 8:57pm On Mar 31, 2023
Darammliveth:



This is really sad.
People usually say female child are always the most supportive when it comes to their parent need compare to the male child.

This one don lost. She don go

Oti lo grin
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by TheChameleon: 8:58pm On Mar 31, 2023
Pbethel tried with her submissions.

In Life, just don't expect people to always reciprocate your good gestures to them. Even siblings.

That way you wouldn't be disappointed. Leave that sister of yours. Karma has its ways.

6 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by VenExchangee: 8:58pm On Mar 31, 2023
LikeAking:


Somebody with Masters degree in Canada, can't be struggling..

She is using her money, her way..
How you take know?
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by oluwaseyi0: 8:59pm On Mar 31, 2023
CosmicDust:
Thanks for the messages. I am sharing my story here is to air out a piece of my mind and also I believe many people also do have stories of sibling rivalries.
For those who told me to call and discuss issues with, anytime I do that is a reason for a fight. Infact I have been exhaustive on that. She has left the family whatsapp group and claims we all use it to extort her. 2 of us are doing well for ourselves.



Even if I dey wipe nyansh for Canada, e no go reach situation wey I no fit send at least $150 back home to my parents. This girl sends 40k. $55 a month for your parents that trained you. That is unthinkable.

Shut up and let your sister rest, before you people will push her into depression

if e easy to just clean yansh for canada why you no go? entitled fellows

the young lady is probably struggling over their in Canada with no one to even rely on yet you people are talking trash in Nigeria and imagining her to be richer than Dangote

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Sebastine1994(m): 8:59pm On Mar 31, 2023
.

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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by DeLaRue: 9:01pm On Mar 31, 2023
[quote author=LikeAking post=122196450]

Somebody with Masters degree in Canada, can't be struggling..
. [/quot


You're wrong.
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Danlax(f): 9:02pm On Mar 31, 2023
CosmicDust:
Here is my story....

I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may never have a conversation with her again.

She was the first person to be invested in by my parents after which I came. Luckily enough, she was able to strike gold in her career and do well for herself. She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.

Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month.
Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following sibling and I. The youngest one education is on me. Happy she will finish soon. Parents need to be supported in challenging times, one is coping with diabetes and the other is with some challenging issues I can't say here. Their savings are being sapped by their needs to keep living on.

But my so-called elder sister based in Canada despite knowing their condition is silent. She still sends her peanuts, while I and my younger brother who is an upcoming fashion designer do 2X what she does. This aches our parents and sometimes makes our mother cry and our father rant with regret.

A time now came, our mum got admitted in the hospital. Condition was so salient that she had to be hospitalized for weeks. Hospital bill was 450k. The Canada-based first born doing a good job, who was always talking to her, praying with her on phone, etc only sent 100k. We the others did the rest. Glad mum is back at home but her heart is broken and has refused to talk with her. She's been in Canada for 5 years and has refused to even support any of her siblings to come abroad too.

My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Mumusaphire: 9:03pm On Mar 31, 2023
pbethel:
Pls don't give up on your elder sis.
Don't take your anger to another level. Calm down, call her to discuss with her to know what she's going through or know her ideology to life's issues (family responsibilities inclusive).

Make her understand why you all need her and she needs you all as well.

Please encourage your parents, they should not be heartbroken. May a helper arise for you all
hmm mm. U are right, but many people are just heartless. They won't change no matter what. I also have a brother here in Nigeria, abuja, our first born. Doing well, real big man, working in federal ministry of justice, abuja, na real Senior staff ooooo, that before u get to his office, u must pass many securities. To cut a story short, he can't help financially, he can't help getting we his siblings a job, or connect us. Even his wife also work in federal interner revenue in abuja, high rank also. Last too weeks, I was so down, even till now, but am just managing myself. I summoned my courage to call him because have knew that he won't help. I sent him message on WhatsApp with prove of my health. It was on sat that day, election day. He replied that haha, that i should pls give her till Monday, that he will run around to help me. I thought in my mind that my brother want run around on top how much. Even have spend more than 50k before I decided to msg him. At last, it was on Thursday my brother sent me money. I was surprised to see just 5k. So u can see many of them can't change, but just heartless. But they can donates for church to show off.

23 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:03pm On Mar 31, 2023
pbethel:
Pls don't give up on your elder sis.
Don't take your anger to another level. Calm down, call her to discuss with her to know what she's going through or know her ideology to life's issues (family responsibilities inclusive).

Make her understand why you all need her and she needs you all as well.

Please encourage your parents, they should not be heartbroken. May a helper arise for you all

Let me give you one information things abroad and not easy for Nigerians especially in the developed country nobody is employing them. In America today Nigerians and 92 immigrants in employment and in Britain it is no different.
The behaviour of the Nigerian people that made them on employable in most parts of the world. So just because somebody is abroad does not mean he is doing well I have seen this in UK Sweden and Denmark a lot of Nigerians are just suffering their even medical students

5 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Goodlady(f): 9:04pm On Mar 31, 2023
xavuv:
What makes you think she's doing well for herself, Because she says so? Or you think so? ...She may just be hyping herself unnecessarily. Abroad is not a land flowing with milk and honey.
Good thought. But I think there's resentment to the extent the one abroad isn't taking tomher family well so anything can be imagined against her
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by oluwaseyi0: 9:04pm On Mar 31, 2023
CosmicDus is your sister married?
I can bet no but you guys actually don't care, all that matter is her money

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Majesty33(m): 9:05pm On Mar 31, 2023
I support u Op on this one. We entertain and tolerate several rubbish from our family members most especially siblings but we mange to forgive and ignore because of that blood that binds us.
As we speak, I won't speak with my younger and very useless brother who have refused to do something meaningful with his life. He says at home eating and fuming but the month u as the elder can't meet up with needs at home. He picks fight with u.

3 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Mumusaphire: 9:06pm On Mar 31, 2023
oluwaseyi0:


Shut up and let your sister rest, before you people will push her into depression

if e easy to just clean yansh for canada why you no go? entitled fellows

the young lady is probably struggling over their in Canada with no one to even rely on yet you people are talking trash in Nigeria and imagining her to be richer than Dangote

u don't need to abuse before u bring out point na. Be mature. U come carry another family matter for head like gala.

9 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Gloriagee(f): 9:08pm On Mar 31, 2023
Sometimes, they prefer to spend on burial. Burial go come resemble wedding...

Mumusaphire:
hmm mm. U are right, but many people are just heartless. They won't change no matter what. I also have a brother here in Nigeria, abuja, our first born. Doing well, real big man, working in federal ministry of justice, abuja, na real Senior staff ooooo, that before u get to his office, u must pass many securities. To cut a story short, he can't help financially, he can't help getting we his siblings a job, or connect us. Even his wife also work in federal interner revenue in abuja, high rank also. Last too weeks, I was so down, even till now, but am just managing myself. I summoned my courage to call him because have knew that he won't help. I sent him message on WhatsApp with prove of my health. It was on sat that day, election day. He replied that haha, that i should pls give her till Monday, that he will run around to help me. I thought in my mind that my brother want run around on top how much. Even have spend more than 50k before I decided to msg him. At last, it was on Thursday my brother sent me money. I was surprised to see just 5k. So u can see many of them can't change, but just heartless. But they can donates for church to show off.

10 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:08pm On Mar 31, 2023
xavuv:
What makes you think she's doing well for herself, Because she says so? Or you think so? ...She may just be hyping herself unnecessarily. Abroad is not a land flowing with milk and honey.

100% correct it is even midwest when you are in Nigeria. You will see other African getting jobs and they will just be there not employed or cleaning toilet
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by idu1(m): 9:10pm On Mar 31, 2023
sisisioge:
It is well fa....may God help us raise kind children.

Have you guys thought about having a family meeting with her where you all discuss how much to give your parents in this evening of their lives to ease their burden? 40k is less 80CAD fa, money she could spend buying a top. It is well.


The woman is wicked. It can't be that bad for her in canada. Even it's bad. She can explain her situation make everybody understand. Many of us no too get for here and we have achieved alot with the little in our hands. There are people that don't care about their parents and siblings. Especially women. How many women dey pay their younger brother school fee?. How many can over look buying clothes and bags to pay their younger siblings school fee?

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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by gentlesmithugo(m): 9:10pm On Mar 31, 2023
VenExchangee:
OP, abroad life no easy, na 10months I stay for Cyprus come run come back because I was only spending without earning, who no go no know, abroad is not worth the hype sometimes bro.
E no easy...
I still they send money to some of my guys till today.
Only Bills per month will shock you.
Then in Cyprus, my monthly house rent was 400 pounds, light bill every two weeks 400TL, water 1kTL monthly, wifi 500TL feeding never they, taxi for school at least 10k TL because I went with student visa and my house wasn't close to school.

Whoever that tells you abroad is easy is lying to you.
cyprus follow for abroad too.call better country abeg.what is different from cyprus and naija.abegi

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Amayabor1: 9:12pm On Mar 31, 2023
xavuv:
What makes you think she's doing well for herself, Because she says so? Or you think so? ...She may just be hyping herself unnecessarily. Abroad is not a land flowing with milk and honey.

Abeg rest. She is not doing well for herself but she don dey Canada for 5 years. Why she nor come back like some of her mates if she feels Canada is not favouring her?

She has delibrately decided not to help her siblings and parents. Some children are like that.

You can't be in Canada or US for 5 years and you send peanuts to your parents. You just don't want to help them. Not that you don't have. Or your money is going to projects they are not aware of.

12 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:12pm On Mar 31, 2023
sadly, its so difficult to know anything because nobody knows the situation of the sister back in Canada... just because someone is abroad, doesnt mean they automatically can help....some cant even fend for their own selves, let alone help siblings/family back home.
its so wrong to make plans on someone else's income unknowingly... thus i suggest you instead talk to her directly about your issues and stop ASSUMING that she is bathing in Riches in Canada.

you will be surrised to know that some people abroad have LESS money left at the end of the month than majority of people back home. by the time they finish paying all their student loan, mortgage, car notes bills taxes food etc, you will be lucky if they can send more than 40k back home

4 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Mumusaphire: 9:12pm On Mar 31, 2023
Gloriagee:
Sometimes, they prefer to spend on burial. Burial go come resemble wedding...

that's why I don't look up on anybody. The worst part is, his wife can't recognize us, even his children. He doesn't see us as his brother. I saw his wife just twice.

2 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:13pm On Mar 31, 2023
CosmicDust:


She was partly sponsored there to do a Masters Programme. Few months later she got a job in a financial company and has been doing that for 5 years. Please tell me how I will be doing better than her.
I am here. I have a barbing saloon with 2 barbers, I have my own car that I use for cab hailing. And every month I bring out at least 70k to support my parents from my earnings because of their condition. I still have a wife at home. And I am not complaining. Please the situation you may considering isn't what it is.

In u.k. I have seen a lot of Nigerian doctors nurses cleaners they are not even being paid. Just a week ago I made a lady which is working for a law firm and she is complaining bitterly even minimum pay she is not getting. In January one guy was telling me he cannot be borrowing money to be going to work this is a cleaner. Why do you think so many and now trying to run to Australia

In America I wanted to do training when I was much younger for a trucking and haulage company and you will not believe what they told me for them to trade me I have to wait for them for 2 years less than minimum pay


1 Like

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by VenExchangee: 9:14pm On Mar 31, 2023
gentlesmithugo:
cyprus follow for abroad too.call better country abeg.what is different from cyprus and naija.abegi
Oga e follow.
So you want to compare Cyprus to Nigeria?
Cost of living in Nigeria is massively cheap compared to any other continent excluding Africa
Mind you I'm a regular travel, I do go vacation always, Cyprus was only country I went and spent 10months because I thought it was cheaper there.

4 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by jaxxy(m): 9:14pm On Mar 31, 2023
As much as nobody owes u anything and all that bullshit talk I hate irresponsible and inconsiderate family members or people. If u can't help ur parents or family in geniune need and u have u are a bastard. That's all.

u have parents who cared for u bt u can't value them when alive bt when they are gone u come to organise burial party like a very useless hypocrite.

12 Likes

Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by VenExchangee: 9:15pm On Mar 31, 2023
https://www.nairaland.com/7635539/us-based-nigerian-lady-shares#122195922
OP see for yourself
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by like1: 9:15pm On Mar 31, 2023
Gloriagee:
How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...

Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care

If this is not entitlement mentality I don't know what is it. OP do what you can do for your parents without complaining. No dey look your older sister. If you no fit too, lock up too and stop being a baby.

Your sister sends 40k monthly, she is already trying. You re calculating how much is 40k in Canadian dollars. You are even expecting your sister who has spent only 5 years in Canada to be able to have enough money to bring you abroad. If your sister id actually who you say she is, it is obvious entitlement mentality from your side is a major factor to the way she behaves.

Because there is nothing she ever does that will be appreciated.

Moreover, do you know her burdens in Canada, have you tried to inquire? Does she work as a student? 20 hours a week? Has she overstayed her visa and not able to renew and now staying illegally? What is her status in Canada.

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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:16pm On Mar 31, 2023
VenExchangee:

Oga e follow.
So you want to compare Cyprus to Nigeria?
Cost of living in Nigeria is massively cheap compared to any other continent excluding Africa

Cost of living is cheap because of the poverty rate in the country
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by blackgold2018(m): 9:17pm On Mar 31, 2023
CosmicDust:


She was partly sponsored there to do a Masters Programme. Few months later she got a job in a financial company and has been doing that for 5 years. Please tell me how I will be doing better than her.
I am here. I have a barbing saloon with 2 barbers, I have my own car that I use for cab hailing. And every month I bring out at least 70k to support my parents from my earnings because of their condition. I still have a wife at home. And I am not complaining. Please the situation you may considering isn't what it is.
Op you are doing better than her

Most of them over hype their earnings..

She might be getting paid peanuts..

1 Like

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