₦airaland Forum

Do not be surprised that our husband dey one dating app dey crush for one yellow shenkelz with fallen boobs.

Wo

Just imagine this whole nonsense. And what is a single young lady with no kids doing with a single father in the first place? Desperation or what? You think the daughter will love you like her own mother or what? of all the eligible men seeking for your hand in marriage you decided to accept the one with such baggage, a classless and irresponsible one for that matter?.

Sister you really bleeped up, single fathers and single mothers should always marry themselves, for your mental health and peace of mind please leave that marriage ASAP.

Makakween:
The pastor has stopped picking my calls but is still in communication with my husband,he even told me nobody can separate us except the pastor,I have left him for God to judge he obviously did it because of money only God knows.

Madam, when you are ready you will leave pastor matter and think about your life and future .
You are an adult and can take decisions, why allow a fellow being like you in the name of pastor talk you into marrying who you do not want. Is he the one living in the marriage now and experiencing all of these? No it's you.
You are saying you leave him in God's hand, God expects you to act in wisdom.too that is why He gave you brains.
Take charge of your life and go for what you want and believe will make you a better person. What future do you want for your kids as well? Forget your husband and pastor, take positive decisions about your life

Madam, leave.
Few years from you'd be grateful you did.

sisisioge:
Orisirisi! Simple matter being complicated by you. Who are the people you were talking to when there was someone or some set of people who planned or arranged the marriage in the first place? Madam, if the child were yours, you would be letting her go without feeding her sometimes? Hian!

1. Tell your pastor what is happening, let them talk to you and the husband together. They are your best bet for some sanity.

2. Agree that he buys the foodstuff and everything you need in the house going forward. You just cook and settle small bills in the house.

3. Let him give his daughter pocket money directly so she can manage her own finances by herself.

4. Never ever let a child go hungry under your roof biko and try to talk to her. Be transparent and allow her the grace to manage her own funds too. It teaches children the value of money.

5. Get proper family planning. This cannot be over stressed and it's free.

If the marriage isn't working after all this....happily take a hike biko and hold the arrangers responsible by making sure the contribute to the children's upkeep from time to time. Good luck .

A very good advice but the bold is funny 😄

Makakween:
Hello nairalanders, please I am an old user of this platform I had to create a new one because I don't want this in my old account. I have been trying to get a new Gmail to post this,I really appreciate ghettoman I don't really know his moniker for the help he rendered by trying to open a new Gmail for me.

My husband and I got married by recommendations from my pastor, he's was already having a child from his previous marriage,no matter how I said no to this marriage, they had already planned it anyway... now after marriage his daughter came to stay with us,I started working because I don't like staying idle at home so I can also assist in the house.
He usually gives me money monthly so I can buy foodstuffs from the house, but the money is never enough and sometimes I beg from my sister and I use the money at home to cook.

Now the problem is my girl would start thinking and telling people around,that her father sends me money and I don't use it on her... she would be looking at the food like shit...with the country problem everyone is managing this girl own is fish,and meat, since I married my husband gave me money just once to buy clothes for her and my daughter.
I am the one that buys her clothes, everything I do she doesn't appreciate and she just wants it all. I didn't even notice this at all until I was told outside,I was so shocked as to what this child can do. I was so shocked 😨, how come I never noticed until I was told... she monitors my calls and tell her dad,I just don't understand. The money he gives me can't take us 2 weeks, it's not like he doesn't have the money but he doesn't want to bring it out. I was still breastfeeding my daughter it was my prevention for pregnancy,I wasn't seeing my menses and I got pregnant again,it became worst I have complained to alot of people about the verbal abuse I get from my husband,I was asked to endure now the endurance is killing me...

This month because of her,he felt I wasn't using the 20k well and he gave me a list of things to buy at home,but he gave me 10k,and it was first week of January,I later asked for another since we already didn't have anything at home he sent 5k I used it to fill gas 3k plus t fare. He knows there's nothing at home,and school was on holiday, even with pregnancy I didn't mind looking for job still. Now I beg for money to feed,ever since I knew she's like that I hate serving her food cos the money isn't enough for all of us. When her dad came home he gave me 1k for me to use for a week,no garri,no rice nothing. And school has resumed I am the one responsible for giving her money to school,I have stopped since she uses it on the way to school and behaves like a beggar in school.

She is always telling her fellow kids that I can never be her mother,I can't kill myself,I begged him for money on Sunday he sent 1200 to me,I used it to fill gas 1kg,I begged for foodstuffs to cook. I am tired of begging,I almost died last week and I didn't have the money to take me to the hospital, it was God, even the drugs I tried begging no way. Since she thinks everything I own and buy is for her father,and I am not seeing anything,I have been supporting quietly but she feels she is entitled to more and all which I can't give, when 1k finished I begged and was given 2k, which I used for yams,and I cooked small soup,I couldn't help but give her but she still behaved like that, like it isn't worth it...

Now I want to stop feeding her,I go hungry most days drinking the garri I begged for 2 days, nobody knows how I have been feeding,I feel I have been too foolish by covering up this stupid marriage. Now he's even telling me that if I give birth to a female again I would face it alone, right now like this he doesn't want to even send anything to me for the house,i hate complaining and complaining about things, people are already urging me to talk,I don't want people pointing at me on the road,I don't know what is wrong with me but I need help...

I can't endure anymore, sometimes I want to just die,I hate begging people for things but I have been subjected to that just to feed,I needed someone to talk to, people who can give me advice different from what people are giving me here... that marriage is for life, please I need help before I lose it, what do you think I should do,I don't know my fate even with this pregnancy but I want a better one for my daughter. Please drop a comment for me,I would really appreciate the help and advises. Please no insults I am not really that strong still fighting some health issues,thank you.

Sorry for all this happening to you

But you have to be strong and take charge of your emotions

You have parents let them know what you are passing through

He has warned you about giving birth to a girl
Relax, a man determines the sex of a baby not a woman

Just try and put to bed safely and from that point you will decide what you want

As for that little spy at home, you seems too weak to handle her

Make sure you eat well because of your pregnancy so that mother and child will be strong and healthy

Watch this short clip

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/yocZzijOnxs



Your mental sanity is very important. Get the right help and support

Good evening nairalanders,well like I said in my previous post I usually use the money from my salary to get things at home because the money my husband gives me isn't enough I wasn't it made saving hard but nevertheless I had no choice,cos each time I ask him for money to get things including baby things he gets angry and tells me he doesn't have money,but surprisingly the same person who doesn't have money goes around doing things that amount to much.
Now like this I am really frustrated and really confused I have gotten the items I need but few are still remaining, don't have anything in my account anymore to help me get them, the cashless policy really dealt a huge blow to me, since most soup and stew items vendors don't do transfer...I know everyone is having it hard but with this rate if I keep shut I would certainly loose it totally. Your comments and advice on what to do will really help cos I discovered that each time I read your comments I get certain ideas and I really take them seriously God bless you all.
Ahnie.
Frozen70.

Makakween:
Good evening nairalanders,well like I said in my previous post I usually use the money from my salary to get things at home because the money my husband gives me isn't enough I wasn't it made saving hard but nevertheless I had no choice,cos each time I ask him for money to get things including baby things he gets angry and tells me he doesn't have money,but surprisingly the same person who doesn't have money goes around doing things that amount to much.
Now like this I am really frustrated and really confused I have gotten the items I need but few are still remaining, don't have anything in my account anymore to help me get them, the cashless policy really dealt a huge blow to me, since most soup and stew items vendors don't do transfer...I know everyone is having it hard but with this rate if I keep shut I would certainly loose it totally. Your comments and advice on what to do will really help cos I discovered that each time I read your comments I get certain ideas and I really take them seriously God bless you all.
Ahnie.
Frozen70.

Sorry for dragging this post
But am still wondering why you are stranded as a married woman who has a child for her husband

Does he starve you guys or he neglects you guys

Do you normally prove stubborn to him or what exactly is the problem or cause of the people

Have you ever sat him down to discuss family matters

frozen70:
Sorry for dragging this post
But am still wondering why you are stranded as a married woman who has a child for her husband

Does he starve you guys or he neglects you guys

Do you normally prove stubborn to him or what exactly is the problem or cause of the people

Have you ever sat him down to discuss family matters

Yes we discuss about what we want to do but he never agrees with what I want to do at that moment even if it's very important,he would always look for ways of not to acknowledge it, it's always his way or nothing else, he's always saying he knows what is best for me. And i am expected to find a way to start the particular process on my own without support from him self.

I know the number of ideas I have had just to start up something for myself but it is never accepted by him 😔 even I am exempted from certain people as well even though this are the people helping me out. It's my fault for not standing my ground on the marriage not happening, because right now everything we agreed on before marriage has been terminated by him.

Makakween:
Yes we discuss about what we want to do but he never agrees with what I want to do at that moment even if it's very important,he would always look for ways of not to acknowledge it, it's always his way or nothing else, he's always saying he knows what is best for me. And i am expected to find a way to start the particular process on my own without support from him self.

I know the number of ideas I have had just to start up something for myself but it is never accepted by him 😔 even I am exempted from certain people as well even though this are the people helping me out. It's my fault for not standing my ground on the marriage not happening, because right now everything we agreed on before marriage has been terminated by him.

Assuming he is showing love to you and your child, then that will be fine

I think he doesn't want you to do anything yet he doesn't care about you

Its time you involve your parents and if possible his parents too if you are in good terms with his parents

frozen70:
Assuming he is showing love to you and your child, then that will be fine

I think he doesn't want you to do anything yet he doesn't care about you

Its time you involve your parents and if possible his parents too if you are in good terms with his parents

Ok thank you.

Where is the pastor that pushed you into this? For the sake of your mental health take a break and go stay with your family before one nut in your head lose. My 2kobo