Saintmary:


This Nigerian society has never been fair to women

But “some people” claim they are not benefitting from marriage. When almost every fragment of our culture as a people was designed for them.

Saintmary:
This Nigerian society has never been fair to women

Society isn't always to blame. If women no step up for themselves, who go do am for them? The men who no give a damn?

Kobojunkie:
Person wey dey soak garri no be human being wey get brain?

how that human being wan take survive?

Kobojunkie:
Society isn't always to blame. If women no step up for themselves, who go do am for them? The men who no give a damn?

Well said. She can choose to live and leave. It is up to her. I don’t know why married women act like they were disowned by their parents at the point of marriage. Such that they have to die in the man’s house.

Most times being single is a bliss.


U fell into their useless trap. Sorry,for all that u are going through.

ahnie:
You re an adult with functioning brains and knows what's best for you.

Someone just accused me in some other thread that I instigated his ex wife to leave him whilst I remained in mine,funny enough I don't ever remember doing such.

Going forward Anything concerning husband n wife matter for this nairaland I nor go Eva chook mouth put.

She's actually surrounded by selfish people

patoski39:
how that human being wan take survive?

Is she surviving as we speak? Does the OP's situation read like a sane one to you?

Saintmary:
She's actually surrounded by selfish people

No be selfishness carry her dey born pikin for inside the same situation? Abegi!

Kobojunkie:
Society isn't always to blame. If women no step up for themselves, who go do am for them? The men who no give a damn?

That's why I'm harsh sometimes, because crasepeople plenty for this Naija.

I remember back in 2016, I was in the process of breaking up with someone, he tried fighting it, so he sent one man to me, I refused to budge, thank God the man respected himself and kept quiet, if not, I was planning to tell him to give the person his 16 year old daughter instead of me.

It's just so exhausting to have this society that is hell bent on making women's lives difficult, fighting for myself everyday, mhen, e hard.

Kobojunkie:
Is she surviving as we speak? Does the OP's situation read like a sane one to you?

does she sound like somebody that can afford tfare to run? Talk more of feeding herself and her baby?

Kobojunkie:
No be selfishness carry her dey born pikin for inside the same situation? Abegi!

Ah, now it's looking as if I'm making excuses for OP, I'm not.


On the contrary, I think she is putting all the blame on her pastor and husband, she has not accepted her responsibility in the problem.


1. Accepting to marry someone she doesn't love

2. Shoddy family planning

3. Taking more than her fair share of home responsibility

4. Refusing to walk away from a horrible marriage

5. Listening to wicked advisers.


These are the few things I can observe from her posts.

patoski39:
does she sound like somebody that can afford tfare to run? Talk more of feeding herself and her baby?

You want to give her tfare ni?



Tell her to visit the welfare office in the local police department or local government office.

Makakween:
The pastor has stopped picking my calls but is still in communication with my husband,he even told me nobody can separate us except the pastor,I have left him for God to judge he obviously did it because of money only God knows.

The way you women sees your pastor as God is funny.

pocohantas:


Well said. She can choose to live and leave. It is up to her. I don’t know why married women act like they were disowned by their parents at the point of marriage. Such that they have to die in the man’s house.

It's shame, the earlier people drop shame, the better.

UselessBuharist:


The way you women sees your pastor as God is funny.

So, you want to lump all women into the same category because of one woman.



No be every woman dey worship pastor

Saintmary:
Ah, now it's looking as if I'm making excuses for OP, I'm not.
On the contrary, I think she is putting all the blame on her pastor and husband, she has not accepted her responsibility in the problem.

1. Accepting to marry someone she doesn't love
2. Shoddy family planning
3. Taking more than her fair share of home responsibility
4. Refusing to walk away from a horrible marriage
5. Listening to wicked advisers.

These are the few things I can observe from her posts.

In 2023, there ought to be no more excuses left for why a woman would choose to sit tight in a situation she already knows is going no where in her favor. Society is no longer to blame as it is more than clear at this point that marriage was never meant as a prison for anyone including women.

UselessBuharist:
The way you women sees your pastor as God is funny.

See this one! You think say na only women dey fall for those conmen?

Saintmary:



So, you want to lump all women into the same category because of one woman.



No be every woman dey worship pastor

Nor be all women I know but women easily fall for that bull crap

pocohantas:


But “some people” claim they are not benefitting from marriage. When almost every fragment of our culture as a people was designed for them.

Buhahahahaha

You struck a cord right there

The submission is not enough naw


If women can lie down for them to walk on, it's acceptable to them.


How dare women think they are supposed to be treated like humans?


How dare women ask for more?


Shebi they are working night and day


Omoh, the matter tie wrapper.

UselessBuharist:


Nor be all women I know but women easily fall for that bull crap

Easily ke, for where?


Maybe we are looking at different kinds of women o, because, nobody has time for that nonsense

Kobojunkie:
In 2023, there ought to be no more excuses left for why a woman would choose to sit tight in a situation she already knows is going no where in her favor. Society is no longer to blame as it is more than clear at this point that marriage was never meant as a prison for anyone including women.

Loud it for those women at the back jare

Saintmary:



Buhahahahaha

You struck a cord right there

The submission is not enough naw


If women can lie down for them to walk on, it's acceptable to them.


How dare women think they are supposed to be treated like humans?


How dare women ask for more?


Shebi they are working night and day


Omoh, the matter tie wrapper.

And the women are at home sleeping. It is only on NL that men work and all their wives are jobless. All around me I see working women. So, I don’t know why they still use that as an excuse to misbehave without remorese. But then, that is for women that would pick them. From my careful analysis of the ones we have here, they don’t even have much to offer a woman who knows her onions.

Makakween:
Hello nairalanders, please I am an old user of this platform I had to create a new one because I don't want this in my old account. I have been trying to get a new Gmail to post this,I really appreciate ghettoman I don't really know his moniker for the help he rendered by trying to open a new Gmail for me.

My husband and I got married by recommendations from my pastor, he's was already having a child from his previous marriage,no matter how I said no to this marriage, they had already planned it anyway... now after marriage his daughter came to stay with us,I started working because I don't like staying idle at home so I can also assist in the house.
He usually gives me money monthly so I can buy foodstuffs from the house, but the money is never enough and sometimes I beg from my sister and I use the money at home to cook.

Now the problem is my girl would start thinking and telling people around,that her father sends me money and I don't use it on her... she would be looking at the food like shit...with the country problem everyone is managing this girl own is fish,and meat, since I married my husband gave me money just once to buy clothes for her and my daughter.
I am the one that buys her clothes, everything I do she doesn't appreciate and she just wants it all. I didn't even notice this at all until I was told outside,I was so shocked as to what this child can do. I was so shocked 😨, how come I never noticed until I was told... she monitors my calls and tell her dad,I just don't understand. The money he gives me can't take us 2 weeks, it's not like he doesn't have the money but he doesn't want to bring it out. I was still breastfeeding my daughter it was my prevention for pregnancy,I wasn't seeing my menses and I got pregnant again,it became worst I have complained to alot of people about the verbal abuse I get from my husband,I was asked to endure now the endurance is killing me...

This month because of her,he felt I wasn't using the 20k well and he gave me a list of things to buy at home,but he gave me 10k,and it was first week of January,I later asked for another since we already didn't have anything at home he sent 5k I used it to fill gas 3k plus t fare. He knows there's nothing at home,and school was on holiday, even with pregnancy I didn't mind looking for job still. Now I beg for money to feed,ever since I knew she's like that I hate serving her food cos the money isn't enough for all of us. When her dad came home he gave me 1k for me to use for a week,no garri,no rice nothing. And school has resumed I am the one responsible for giving her money to school,I have stopped since she uses it on the way to school and behaves like a beggar in school.

She is always telling her fellow kids that I can never be her mother,I can't kill myself,I begged him for money on Sunday he sent 1200 to me,I used it to fill gas 1kg,I begged for foodstuffs to cook. I am tired of begging,I almost died last week and I didn't have the money to take me to the hospital, it was God, even the drugs I tried begging no way. Since she thinks everything I own and buy is for her father,and I am not seeing anything,I have been supporting quietly but she feels she is entitled to more and all which I can't give, when 1k finished I begged and was given 2k, which I used for yams,and I cooked small soup,I couldn't help but give her but she still behaved like that, like it isn't worth it...

Now I want to stop feeding her,I go hungry most days drinking the garri I begged for 2 days, nobody knows how I have been feeding,I feel I have been too foolish by covering up this stupid marriage. Now he's even telling me that if I give birth to a female again I would face it alone, right now like this he doesn't want to even send anything to me for the house,i hate complaining and complaining about things, people are already urging me to talk,I don't want people pointing at me on the road,I don't know what is wrong with me but I need help...

I can't endure anymore, sometimes I want to just die,I hate begging people for things but I have been subjected to that just to feed,I needed someone to talk to, people who can give me advice different from what people are giving me here... that marriage is for life, please I need help before I lose it, what do you think I should do,I don't know my fate even with this pregnancy but I want a better one for my daughter. Please drop a comment for me,I would really appreciate the help and advises. Please no insults I am not really that strong still fighting some health issues,thank you.

I am pretty sure you will get pregnant again. When we tell people to do proper courtship and planning before jumping into marriage and start having kids, they never listen.
They always listen to their mumu and illiterate pastors, now the sad outcome is inevitable.

Kobojunkie:
1. Slap the pastor for the OP's decision to listen to and marry a man recommended to her by a third-party(the pastor) without properly vetting him for herself before taking the plunge?

2. Save money? I get the idea that what OP is trying to tell us is that without her husband, she is practically helpless to do much for herself. I wait to be proven wrong.

You are on point 100%. They never learn.

Kobojunkie:
Oh, na now you just know say pastors and mogs are con men? Sadly, same you fit to come back tomorrow come to tell us another Pastor-talk-say tale!

I never listen to any of those pastors, i don't listen to people who do not have real jobs or career.
Most are frauds and illiterates anyways.

Skyview01:
I never listen to any of those pastors, i don't listen to people who do not have real jobs or career.
Most are frauds and illiterates anyways.

Na unemployment mostly dey make many enter that line of business anyways. If not, no sane individual would claim say him be pastor or mog.

pocohantas:


And the women are at home sleeping. It is only on NL that men work and all their wives are jobless. All around me I see working women. So, I don’t know why they still use that as an excuse to misbehave without remorese. But then, that is for women that would pick them. From my careful analysis of the ones we have here, they don’t even have much to offer a woman who knows her onions.

There is something called arrested development.

Some people are 45 years of age, but psychologically, they stopped developing at 12

Saintmary:



There is something called arrested development.

Some people are 45 years of age, but psychologically, they stopped developing at 12

😆😆😆😆😆😆

Saintmary:



There is something called arrested development.

Some people are 45 years of age, but psychologically, they stopped developing at 12

🤣🤣🤣

Saintmary:



Loud it for those women at the back jare

Free meme.
Women oye!!!!

pocohantas:


Well said. She can choose to live and leave. It is up to her. I don’t know why married women act like they were disowned by their parents at the point of marriage. Such that they have to die in the man’s house.

Do not forget that .... for better for worst was signed.
The bible frown against divorce poco marriage is a woman's birth right.
Pls leave us to die in our toxic marriages