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How & Why do siblings fall apart? - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Nobody: 7:16pm On May 07, 2023
davillian:

From my experience it's just two reasons.
The parents and trust.
Once the parents starts to favour the rich children on issues and giving preferential treatments it brings in hate...
Once you trust your brothers or sisters to help handle task and they blow your founds it brings in hate....
But to me it's the parents some parent can send you on errands, that your younger ones should handle but because you not yet successful they fit send you to buy fuel, wash car , wash plates , turn on the gen while the younger ones seat and do nothing...
They won't even allow you contribute to issues that concern the family...
The truth is just make money...
If the success train starts from the first child to the last then they won't be issues but if it starts from the button aaaaah there is a huge problem

You have said it all. Especially that errand part. It happened to me, this 17 year old boy was asleep while I was sent by my dad to go and feed his animals. From there it has been problems all through

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Akalia(m): 7:25pm On May 07, 2023
Rubyjade:
shocked
surprised?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Ykc2(m): 7:47pm On May 07, 2023
1Sharon:


Abeg shut up. Does the same thing happen with female siblings?

If a girl is too close to her siblings, wont the male try to control and separate them?
I should shut up?is this how you talk to your elder brothers or did you suck fulani bandits gbola? angry angry

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Jeferious: 8:10pm On May 07, 2023
Rubyjade:
Oga! Marry, don't wait for anyone.
Na so woman thinking suppose be. Your gender no dey think in the interest of other people, or for the common good.

I'm fine like this. Carry your advice go front

3 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by sunnymighty(m): 8:17pm On May 07, 2023
1Sharon:


This is why you need to put your foot down and stop allowing 3rd parties know about details in your marriage🥴

That african culture of controlling children's/younger siblings marraiges, doesn't sit right with me.

Trust me I don't, I live where I work and only come home on weekends, where is the time? I have learn to define my space.

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by sunnymighty(m): 8:18pm On May 07, 2023
cassyrooy:
Keep it up. Sometimes, the enemies that causes us destruction are kit and kins.

God bless you boss.

bless you too shalom!

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Greenfaces: 8:29pm On May 07, 2023
Hamachi:
Hmn. I don't even know where to start. I believe siblings fall apart for a number of reasons. Envy is one of these reasons. We should all realize that though siblings come out of the birth canal of the same Mother, their destinies are different. The eldest child might not be the most successful child. In a family of 7 children, the 5th born might become richer than the other children due to reasons best known to God and hardwork. Sometimes, strife among siblings is caused by the Father or Mother who openly love one child than the others. The other children will notice this as they grow up and resentment and hate for the favored child sets in. Naturally, there will be competition among siblings but the behaviour of Parents also lead to disharmony among siblings later in life. So when the 4th born starts prospering than his senior brothers and sisters, strife sets in. I have also observed that wives and husbands of siblings also contribute to them falling apart. Women are naturally very competitive and they can wreck havoc on the love between two brothers. I know what I am saying because I have experienced this directly. The wife of an elder brother might not be too happy seeing her husband's junior brother doing well than him. So jealousy sets in and we all know what can happen.

In Europe and North America, there is little love between siblings because of the pressure to see who makes it big first. We have this absurd belief in Africa that the first born must do well than his junior siblings and that they must look up to him all the time. I have since thrown this belief into the dustbin and I've focused on my future with a view to doing well in life. Jay Jay Okocha's brother started playing football before him. Emmanuel Okocha played for the Super Eagles one or two times but Austin Okocha became a legend in the Nigerian National Team. It was even Emmanuel that took Austin Okocha to Germany. Jay Jay played for Clubs in Europe that his elder brother could only dream of. Yet they are still close to one another without any acrimony between them. Same obtains between Emmanuel and Celestine Babayaro. So I believe siblings should love one another and realize that our destinies are different because it is God that has the final answer as to what we will become in life. Cheers.
This your article is a masterpiece. I agree with everything you said. What is the way forward for one who finds himself cut off by his siblings. Especially when he does not know any reasonable offence he committed.

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Greenfaces: 9:05pm On May 07, 2023
simplywhy:
When I was younger, considering how separated my parents and their siblings were, I used to think that I and my siblings can never be like that. But now?? Ours might be worse
what's the solution
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by ReneeNuttall(f): 9:48pm On May 07, 2023
Poverty is the number one reason. Every other reason is a secondary reason.

Alot of us love visiting our loved ones. Myself for example. Sometimes phone calls and text messages just isn't enough.

How about a day or two visit to my siblings house with a little bag containing small stuffs like garri, plantain, egusi etc or even bread?. Those where the good old days when money had small value.

But now one can barely feed well let alone av enough for tfair to and fro.

I feel ashamed going to visit my siblings without anything to assist dem. Its heart breaking enough hence the distance in communication.

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by lordally(m): 10:05pm On May 07, 2023
Hi Annahh I had to mention u on a different thread.

I would like to send you a mail concern that customer service job you applied for, I would like to get more information on it. Please.
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Exodora: 12:04am On May 08, 2023
larryking540:
just 2 things makes siblings fall apart
1. pride,why will I pick pride as the first, irrespective of who d first born is, there are somethings d first born can learn from the last born, same goes around, becus where d first born wouldn't step his or her legs, the last born go enter there and learn some valuable lessons,but the moment the last born day tell the first born some kin coded stuff or short cut,u will hear things like, who u b, am I ur mate, ,,,i believe what an old man can see while siting a young person can't see it, same with wat a young man can see while on top of the mountain even d old man too kw go see am,

u will not believe some last born are the first to step foot outside 9ja and after a while they bring their elder ones along, but some or most elder ones go start to act like say they first their younger one come the new location, and na there problem take day start,

2.is greed,or envy, one person day succeed the other own is slow, my people every person to e grace, I have met people who where very dull in secondary school but today day fly outside 9ja like backyard,

ur time go come just keep praying to God, and also pray for those succeeding
Mine thinks he is my father even though my dad is very much alive.
He wants me to accept everything he says even when I know he is lying and nothing he says makes sense he still wants me to accept it just because he is my elder brother. I hate that part he reminds me, that he is older than I am so I should accept all he says just like that.

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by oluseyiforjesus(m): 4:42am On May 08, 2023
Hamachi:
Hmn. I don't even know where to start. I believe siblings fall apart for a number of reasons. Envy is one of these reasons. We should all realize that though siblings come out of the birth canal of the same Mother, their destinies are different. The eldest child might not be the most successful child. In a family of 7 children, the 5th born might become richer than the other children due to reasons best known to God and hardwork. Sometimes, strife among siblings is caused by the Father or Mother who openly love one child than the others. The other children will notice this as they grow up and resentment and hate for the favored child sets in. Naturally, there will be competition among siblings but the behaviour of Parents also lead to disharmony among siblings later in life. So when the 4th born starts prospering than his senior brothers and sisters, strife sets in. I have also observed that wives and husbands of siblings also contribute to them falling apart. Women are naturally very competitive and they can wreck havoc on the love between two brothers. I know what I am saying because I have experienced this directly. The wife of an elder brother might not be too happy seeing her husband's junior brother doing well than him. So jealousy sets in and we all know what can happen.

In Europe and North America, there is little love between siblings because of the pressure to see who makes it big first. We have this absurd belief in Africa that the first born must do well than his junior siblings and that they must look up to him all the time. I have since thrown this belief into the dustbin and I've focused on my future with a view to doing well in life. Jay Jay Okocha's brother started playing football before him. Emmanuel Okocha played for the Super Eagles one or two times but Austin Okocha became a legend in the Nigerian National Team. It was even Emmanuel that took Austin Okocha to Germany. Jay Jay played for Clubs in Europe that his elder brother could only dream of. Yet they are still close to one another without any acrimony between them. Same obtains between Emmanuel and Celestine Babayaro. So I believe siblings should love one another and realize that our destinies are different because it is God that has the final answer as to what we will become in life. Cheers.
nice one
Go n start writing books you will make it from there sister. One love

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Greenfaces: 5:51am On May 08, 2023
softsoul22:
This is a vital topic to relate on, it sometimes start with the parents, favouring one to the other, this attitude degenerate sometimes and make the siblings disliking one another.

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why do people export charcoal. What is it done with abroad. What's the market for it
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by HoneySwag(f): 7:44am On May 08, 2023
It's the upbringing. Some parents don't know how to train their children, they show love to one and show extreme hatred to others that at a point one will even question if they are your real parents. That's the beginning of breeding hatred and competition in the hearts of siblings.

3 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 8:24am On May 08, 2023
smiley
oluseyiforjesus:
nice one
Go n start writing books you will make it from there sister. One love
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 8:26am On May 08, 2023
Greenfaces:

This your article is a masterpiece. I agree with everything you said. What is the way forward for one who finds himself cut off by his siblings. Especially when he does not know any reasonable offence he committed.
Start mending the bridge.
Start by calling once a week
Sending sms every festive period and news month
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 8:26am On May 08, 2023
cheesy
achimendy:






You've said it all princess




One cold yoghurt for you.
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by aswani(m): 10:35am On May 08, 2023
Exodora:

Mine thinks he is my father even though my dad is very much alive.
He wants me to accept everything he says even when I know he is lying and nothing he says makes sense he still wants me to accept it just because he is my elder brother. I hate that part he reminds me of him telling me that his is older than I am so I should accept all he says just like that.

An older sibling that is not ready to put in the sacrifices and effort required to justify that position but believes they should be honoured and respected for it simply by accident of birth is a problem that won't go away until that person changes their mindset.

This is not about giving money by the way, there is more to being an older sibling than that, much more.

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by millstone(m): 10:51am On May 08, 2023
mostly the parents are to blame

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Annahh(f): 10:58am On May 08, 2023
lordally:
Hi Annahh I had to mention u on a different thread.

I would like to send you a mail concern that customer service job you applied for, I would like to get more information on it. Please.
Go to ziprecruiter. com and apply.

2 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Princessdainty(m): 11:09am On May 08, 2023
POVERTY.

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 11:15am On May 08, 2023
aswani:


An older sibling that is not ready to put in the sacrifices and effort required to justify that position but believes they should be honoured and respected for it simply by accident of birth is a problem that won't go away until that person changes their mindset.

This is not about giving money by the way, there is more to being an older sibling than that, much more.
True
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Greenfaces: 11:29am On May 08, 2023
Hamachi:
Start mending the bridge.
Start by calling once a week
Sending sms every festive period and news month
you can't call people who do not even reply the message you send them. People who blocked you on WhatsApp and Facebook on the day you wished them happy birthday. Or the ones who didn't even care to congratulate you on your wedding and on the day your wife put to bed. Calling them once a week will be disturbance to them especially when they have reasons to feel their wealth and success is the motivation for you to come kneeling before them

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Greenfaces: 11:31am On May 08, 2023
Princessdainty:
POVERTY.
it exists among the rich americans
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Rubyjade: 11:57am On May 08, 2023
undecided
Jeferious:
Na so woman thinking suppose be. Your gender no dey think in the interest of other people, or for the common good.

I'm fine like this. Carry your advice go front
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Rubyjade: 11:59am On May 08, 2023
Okay
vickydevoka:

Over closeness the bring enmity. Some people have forgiven spirit,why some doesn't.
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Rubyjade: 12:00pm On May 08, 2023
Let by gone be bygones na
Risingsunn:
that's the more reason I am minding my business. I no offend them, we are in different cities though. It's not like we are seeing each other everyday. I believe anyday we see, we go settle. But they must tell me my offense sha.
Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Rubyjade: 12:01pm On May 08, 2023
obinna58:

It’s not about the money, it’s about the future after you’ve made the money, he literally plays a real life game of chess, I’m not good at it due to my conscience and never a gamer, I have this instinct he can shoot me down if need be without a second thought.
I rather not bet it
This is scary

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Jeferious: 12:47pm On May 08, 2023
Greenfaces:
you can't call people who do not even reply the message you send them. People who blocked you on WhatsApp and Facebook on the day you wished them happy birthday. Or the ones who didn't even care to congratulate you on your wedding and on the day your wife put to bed. Calling them once a week will be disturbance to them especially when they have reasons to feel their wealth and success is the motivation for you to come kneeling before them
Guy, drink your garri and face your front. See eh, for this life, see finish no good. Even if poverty dey show you shege, still maintain your dignity as a Man

4 Likes

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Greenfaces: 3:42pm On May 08, 2023
Jeferious:
Guy, drink your garri and face your front. See eh, for this life, see finish no good. Even if poverty dey show you shege, still maintain your dignity as a Man
true. Alhamdulilah I'm not actually broke

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Exodora: 5:30pm On May 08, 2023
aswani:


An older sibling that is not ready to put in the sacrifices and effort required to justify that position but believes they should be honoured and respected for it simply by accident of birth is a problem that won't go away until that person changes their mindset.

This is not about giving money by the way, there is more to being an older sibling than that, much more.
My brother! These people just tire person.

1 Like

Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 6:03pm On May 08, 2023
shocked
Greenfaces:
you can't call people who do not even reply the message you send them. People who blocked you on WhatsApp and Facebook on the day you wished them happy birthday. Or the ones who didn't even care to congratulate you on your wedding and on the day your wife put to bed. Calling them once a week will be disturbance to them especially when they have reasons to feel their wealth and success is the motivation for you to come kneeling before them

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