₦airaland Forum

How do you love a child and hate his father? if I’m the father of that child you won’t even come close to my child for life when you don’t have a good relationship with me

Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me...

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

Very interesting. Are there fetish practices in such schools? Do churches object to their members being there? Is money paid by the parents of participants? Is the initiation school still popular as in the past or is it undergoing modernism-induced attrition?

Merch:
How do you love a child and hate his father? if I’m the father of that child you won’t even come close to my child for life when you don’t have a good relationship with me

It's never an issue. Siblings may have differences. Children should not be dragged into such at all.

Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me...

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

Your culture is similar to that of Jewish. It is refer to bar mitzvah in Hebrew.

Closegirl:
Yes, but time will eventually kill that connection because you'll be busy and they'll probably live far away from you. That's what happened to me and my little nephew

Word. Same with my nephew and I. The connection has dropped from his end. The last time we talked, the first thing he said without me asking was, "the reason I've not been calling is because.....". I believe he felt guilty. But I still love him as if he were mine. My family calls me his mother.

Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me...

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

When you start having yours, the emotional attachment will drop

Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me...

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

It's perfectly normal. I share a very close bond with my nephew and niece, my brother's kids. It isn't unusual to have that "parental connection" with them, and even sometimes understand them better than their parents

Nah she isn’t related to the child’s dad that’s her sister husband

Yankiss:
It's never an issue. Siblings may have differences. Children should not be dragged into such at all.

Emotionally attached to my kids.

Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me...

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

See you in Durban July.

Wow! That's nice..

Oneeyesunday:
Your culture is similar to that of Jewish. It is refer to bar mitzvah in Hebrew.

Fetish practices? Not really, it's only in the beginning whereby the children are brought forth to the royal native doctor in order to protect them from some evil spirits during the initiation school.

Some churches do object, while others don't... But it's usually those African indigenous churches that do not object their members from going... Most of those that did not attend the school is because their church was against it.

Yes, money is paid, back in the olden times they used to pay with livestock, but now they pay money and the parents or guardians must also sign a letter of consent from the Department of Human Settlements and Traditional Affairs.

I don't know about other provinces, but in my province it's still very much popular.

Yankiss:
Very interesting. Are there fetish practices in such schools? Do churches object to their members being there? Is money paid by the parents of participants? Is the initiation school still popular as in the past or is it undergoing modernism-induced attrition?

People generally want to be around people whom they can relate with on an emotional level, and You so happen to be such a person, likely. I am like that too. They will so open up to You more than they do to their parents. And I love this initiation idea of a thing.

My own Is why the jealousy when they see other Africans making it in their country 🤷🏿‍♂️

Go and give birth to yours 🙄

Well, what do we have here? The nairaland big boy..

I'm still hungry you know, this time I haven't eaten for five days, my bones are everywhere...

Godsgift7837:
See you in Durban July.

Exmilitant:
All seven of my two sisters children lived with me.
Some are now in the university but my house is their base even when they are on holidays.

The youngest is Six this year. That bundle is the reason why I am still single. She started living with me when she was three. She is a trouble maker and fighter.

I don't know why my nieces and nephews get attached to me the moment they set eyes on me.
The beauty of it all is that we speak our Ikwerre language in the house.

Which part of ikwerre are you from ?

Stupid topic

Yep... But I never allow my relationship with my siblings to affect the one I have with my nephews and nieces.

Unless if their parents prevent me from seeing them or calling them... My relationship with my sister right now is not that great, but things haven't changed between me and her kids.

mzansiboy:
So 2 years back I didn't want anything to so with my nephew, because of his mother. So the mother had a problem with my ex gf and would argue and shout at us. Things got so bad that she fought with my parents, but my brother, her husband, told her to apologise. After she apologised I my ex gf broke up with me, but today I have relationship with my nephew. So sometime the parents are the reason that children don't have relationship with the aunties and uncles.

If your relationship was more than that of a brother and sister, are you trying to tell me that you were getting intimate with your cousin?

talented321:
Na so they call my female cousin my wife that year, because our relationship was more than brother and sister, she can't stay if i am not around, sha she don marry and i have to tell her to stop the calls because i don't know either she marry my type.

Samantha124:
Well, what do we have here? The nairaland big boy..

I'm still hungry you know, this time I haven't eaten for five days, my bones are everywhere...

😂😂😂😂 I’m a small boy with a mighty God

My niece calls me her slay queen aunt...

Kajaard:
I and my nephew and niece (still in college) are very very close.

They prefer spending a greater part of their holidays in my house.

They refer me to me as the COOL UNCLE

Sometimes I don't see some of them for a year too, but we always keep in touch.

We call each other very often.

Jeezuzpick:
Nope.

I hardly see them.

Haven't seen any of them for over a year

Oww! That's cute..

Chemicalboss1:
There's this my young cousin that answers my dad's name, his father named him after my dad.
Mehn I'm so used to that kid that I get mad when ever his dad or mom touches him.
Even the parent feels OK when ever he's with me cos I'm more proactive in watching him and letting him have fun..
Hes 4 years now and dude can operate almost any phone you give to him.

i can't get erection before my first and second cousins. Sama sex overrated, if i sleep with my cousin i will feel guilt till eternity just because of 15-1h pleasure. I don't take sex that serious.

Samantha124:
If your relationship was more than that of a brother and sister, are you trying to tell me that you were getting intimate with your cousin?

We need more men like you...

OceanEye:
Same here. Even, I have adopted my niece's daughter as my child, and she knows me only as her father.

You must be a great father...

tojahh:
My Daughter is my sister's child. She's too fond of her. Everyday she will call and be talking to her on video, my daughter is just 7 months. She can't even respond but you see her having conversations and all that.

My Daughter will just be leaking the phone. . I don tire for those two. The gifts she has gotten from my sister is worth over 400k. Even stuff she can't even use.

If you read all my threads here, you'll know what transpired between his father and I.

Make inquiries before you jump into conclusions.

Merch:
How do you love a child and hate his father? if I’m the father of that child you won’t even come close to my child for life when you don’t have a good relationship with me

I asked you something last night and it seems like you're ignoring me...

I deliberately quoted you just to see if you'll reply...

talented321:
i can't get erection before my first and second cousins. Sama sex overrated, if i sleep with my cousin i will feel guilt till eternity just because of 15-1h pleasure. I don't take sex that serious.

Well, I'm a big girl with a small and hungry God..

Godsgift7837:
😂😂😂😂 I’m a small boy with a mighty God