i broke up with my man and regret it . would you marry a man who was perfect for you in every way but his mother diddn't like you

they have a son husband type of relationship and she sees me as a threat. people are telling me to continue with the relationship and over time she will come round but i don't have peace. i planned to be with someone who had a mother that accepted me. the dad isn't in his life. im 29 and i am heart broken. i wanted to stay with him but i just hate the fact that there relationship is becoming strained because of me and his mother doesn't accept me. he was so perfect for me everything i had prayed for. honestly dont know where i am going to find another him.

It depends on the type of man he is. If he's the "I love my mummy" type like all these mummy's boy who hand over their sense of reasoning to their mum then you did the right thing. When going into a family as a lady, you are indirectly marrying the whole family and the most important figure (which is the mum) must be in total approval else I'll advise you look elsewhere for your peace of mind. In your case his mum will practically be running the affairs of your home but if you can endure and accept it like that then go ahead and accept it as your cross.

You no just love the guy.

When a girl truly love a guy, nothing in this world (except death) can stop her from staying with him.

Well, I'm not surprised sha. Nigerian girls no dey love.

Zonefree:
You no just love the guy.

The mum is a big threat

all i know is that if i had a daughter i would NEVER advise her to marry a man when his mother doesn't like you and is against the relationship. if she was not against it but just so/so then fair enough but you are too young to marry a man whos mother doesnt like you. i asked my boyfriend if she could sabotage our marriage and he said she wouldnt but she may be uncooperative , what the fµck does that mean


everyone is built different and for me i always imagined having a big happy family my nuclear family and then being on good terms with my exended family. we dont have to be best friends but they cant dislike me i have to feel comfortable around them .

Your peace of mind comes first.

Let him be with his mother and marry her.

should he come back to me?



even though i broke up with him, do you think he can wake up one day and realise it wasnt my fault that i broke up with him and i was at my wits ends? he blames me

See let me tell you strong fact about life. "Whatever i repeat Whatever is yours will always be yours no matter how far that thing is from you, it will find its way into your hands" so dont freat babe. Relax and chill and watch how event unfolds.

the important question... which IS:
- what does your man say when you tell him about this very important issue?

he makes excuses for her

and tells me he understands my feelings

the problem continues

MrBrownJay1:
the important question... which IS:
- what does your man say when you tell him about this very important issue?

Sxyhalima:
he makes excuses for her
and tells me he understands my feelings
the problem continues

just tell him:"you cant continue making excuses for your mother and avoid facing the obvious. we cant continue like this. we will never have a future until your mother is out the picture.
pls dont get me wrong, i dont want you to get rid of your mother from YOUR life, i just want you to understand that unless your mother stops putting her mouth in our affairs, we will never have a future together"... then walk away!

when he grows up, he will be back to you (sadly, by then it would probably be too late)

ive done all this already

MrBrownJay1:


just tell him:"you cant continue making excuses for your mother and avoid facing the obvious. we cant continue like this. we will never have a future until your mother is out the picture.
pls dont get me wrong, i dont want you to get rid of your mother from YOUR life, i just want you to understand that unless your mother stops putting her mouth in our affairs, we will never have a future together"... then walk away!

when he grows up, he will be back to you (sadly, by then it would probably be too late)

Sxyhalima:
ive done all this already

then there isnt much more you can do... be happy and move on with your life.

but where will i find someone as perfect as him

MrBrownJay1:


then there isnt much more you can do... be happy and move on with your life.

Sxyhalima:
but where will i find someone as perfect as him

its obvious he wasnt perfect... if he was, you guys would still be happy together.

Any man who let's his mother makes choices about his spouse is a coward and doesn’t deserve to be married.

hmm

you are making me feel better

the only thing not perfect about him is he let his mother rule his love life

MrBrownJay1:


its obvious he wasnt perfect... if he was, you guys would still be happy together.

he is blaming me for breaking up with him

1Sharon:
Any man who let's his mother makes choices about his spouse is a coward and doesn’t deserve to be married.

Sxyhalima:
he is blaming me for breaking up with him

Did you tell him, his mother was the cause?

yes he agrees but still says i should have waited to see if she would change

1Sharon:


Did you tell him, his mother was the cause?

Sxyhalima :
yes he agrees but still says i should have waited to see if she would change

Hmmm… She won’t change o!
Don’t allow him gaslight you. You are not yet married and he is already blaming you for stuffs, what happens after you get married?

There’s no perfect anybody o!!! Peace of mind is paramount

By the time the mother shows you “shege” after you have gotten married, all the perfections you are seeing now will disappear before your eyes. If she was with her own husband it would have been slightly better, at least the man would be curbing her excesses.

IconicR:
It depends on the type of man he is. If he's the "I love my mummy" type like all these mummy's boy .

We shouldn't love our mothers bc we found a partner?

Op, if you tried showing the woman that you guys can be a team and she's still stubborn, you're right to walk away.

My lady just fought (I mean slapping and kicking not verbal fight) her grown up son's girlfriend (very calm girl).

Don't wait till you fight.

even though i broke up with him and told him my decision is final i want him to come back to me and tell me he wants us to try again . i want that to happen. he is my everything. he was my perfect person just i was scared of his mother because i dont want any problem.

its ok we are back together gonna give it another try

Sxyhalima:
even though i broke up with him and told him my decision is final i want him to come back to me and tell me he wants us to try again . i want that to happen. he is my everything. he was my perfect person just i was scared of his mother because i dont want any problem.

that's costly, but what if he didn't come back?

Blessedarethepe:

that's costly, but what if he didn't come back?

we r back

Sxyhalima:


we r back

Hallelujah
Congrats to you

yes why shud i let someone spoil us

Blessedarethepe:

Hallelujah
Congrats to you

Sxyhalima:
i broke up with my man and regret it . would you marry a man who was perfect for you in every way but his mother diddn't like you

they have a son husband type of relationship and she sees me as a threat. people are telling me to continue with the relationship and over time she will come round but i don't have peace. i planned to be with someone who had a mother that accepted me. the dad isn't in his life. im 29 and i am heart broken. i wanted to stay with him but i just hate the fact that there relationship is becoming strained because of me and his mother doesn't accept me. he was so perfect for me everything i had prayed for. honestlyf dont know where i am going to find another him.

In marriage you don't just marry the man, you marry the family.
If the mother doesn't accept you, please go your way to avoid being frustrated later in the future, marriage is not just about I love you.