koolbreeze55:
Good morning,
Please I have a pressing issue I will like to seek advice on.
I got entangled with a lady whose family rejected me from marrying her about 12years ago.
She got was thrown out after a quarrel and ended up moving in with me as she claimed she no where else to go.
After many years she gave birth to a baby girl last January,we haven't had peace since we started living together.

After she gave birth,she fought me and openly embarrassed me in the street after several domestic assaults and public embarrassment.
I processed a transfer to lag from abj and have had peace ever since.

I got a call from her about 4months ago telling me she will be traveling to uk that I should come and take my daughter or she will arrange with the creche to take care of her pending the the time she will be through with her studies.
She also asked if she should forfeit her admission and recall her fees if am not okay with the idea.

My question is, should I ask her to cancel the admission and recall her fee or should I just take the 17months baby and try to nurture her as we both do not family members who will want assist.

Please I need ur urgent advice.

Shokoloko:

Why are you bringing this up 4 months later?
School sessions would have already started.

budaatum:
Notice how you claim "she gave birth to a baby girl last January", instead of admitting you fathered a baby!

What makes you think you can tell her what to do?

Can't you take care of the baby girl she gave birth to?

She needs my opinion cuz am still single and she has already apologized and wants me to return to the house(my House)so we can restrategize

I can,but don't know how to go about it,she's under 2

Well,maybe I didn't put that well,she's my baby and am fully responsible

koolbreeze55:
I can,but don't know how to go about it,she's under 2

Well,maybe I didn't put that well,she's my baby and am fully responsible

Klass99:
I'm thinking your options are;

1. You can take the baby and hire an older, matureand responsible nanny to help you care for her. I want to believe you have a steady and reliable source of income to provide for your daughter and pay a good wage to the nanny.

2. Ask your baby mama to cancel the admission for now, recall the fees and pursue this dream of further education at a later time for the sake of the young child. This sort of feels selfish on your part if you do.......but if you go with this option you need to be more hands on in the care of your child and support her educational moves later when it comes up again.

I can't see a third, fourth or more options for you but wait to for other people's thoughts on your situation.

Thanks sir/madam

Sure I have a fairly good job but she says naija is already scary and won't want to miss this opportunity of moving and relocating me and the baby later if I agree

mrrandomguy:
Why can't she travel with the baby? Let her travel with her.
Something tells me she will abandon the child if she leaves without her, and that she will dump your sorry ass when she gets to the UK.

Don't be a SIMP a third time.

mrrandomguy:
Why can't she travel with the baby? Let her travel with her.
Something tells me she will abandon the child if she leaves without her, and that she will dump your sorry ass when she gets to the UK.

Don't be a SIMP a third time.

Candidlady:


You guys over think things all in the name of bin woke or some redpill ideology...

So taking care of his responsibility means he is a simp

Bloody biri

koolbreeze55:


Please can u offer an advice

Candidlady:


Don't you or the lady have any family member...

Since the kid in question is a girl child iwould never advice that the girl be in your custody, while her mum is away(don't blame my trust issues)

Just try to reason with any of your family members
Your sister
Your mum
Your aunts

Just promise to always send em the kid's upkeep

IconicR:
Take your baby and nurture her she's your responsibility. Let her go wherever she likes.You both should enjoy your disobedient actions.

koolbreeze55:


Ok,thanks

koolbreeze55:


Thanks sir,

I feel so too,but she says she won't be able to work and support herself in the uk if she goes with the baby.

koolbreeze55:


School starts in September

Shokoloko:

You have not had peace with this lady in a long while.
I am sure at some time you prayed to God to release you from everyday quarrel and strife.
Now God is taking her far, far away so both of you can have your peace.
Has the prayer not been answered?
You must not marry someone because you had a baby with them. Peace is priceless
Go your way with the kid, let her go away: the child will search for her later.

mrrandomguy:

Let her forfeit the admission in that case. UK admission is not difficult to get like European and American ones.
When the child is grown up a bit with some level of independence, she can reapply, even you can join her. Don't let her drop the baby for you under any guise.

Also try and formalise your relationship within this period if you think you can live with her your entire life.

And don't take any advice from Nairaland feminists like the one who quoted me. Their goal is to turn men into women so that women can escape their natural and biological roles. They are already telling you to take off your trousers and put on skirt and bra in the name of taking care of your baby.

koolbreeze55:

Thanks,she sees this as her only chance as policies keep changing by the day.

She was cruel, formalizing the relationship is somewhat scary,am not moved by the uk thing, though she has apologized,but I want to still watch how things play out

kkins25:
This is probably the first time her life has changed for the good, and your first thought was to be the devil. It didn't occur to you that the baby and her halted life was the reason for the resentment towards you?
She probably warned you about going in raw, but you no gree. 😁

koolbreeze55:


Devil,how?

mrrandomguy:

The UK economy thrives on educational tourism. Policy changes will never affect her future chances of gaining admission.
Don't let her use you since you don't see any future with her. Let her stay and take care of the child. The baby may not even be yours.