₦airaland Forum

[Updated - 14/1/26]

Let me just drop this here:

The most important question to ask about a woman you're dating or a woman you're trying to date is: what does she have to offer me apart from sex and children? You can go ahead and ask a woman and give her the chance to opt out easily.

Oh and don't accept answers like communication, genuine love etc. These are not concrete and also not answers like good cooking, better sex, home cleanup etc. These you can get anywhere.

If a woman is a high quality woman, you wouldn't even have to ask these questions.

Using the 80-20 rule, you ought to ask yourself ten questions before you even introduce a woman to your parents. The answers to these should be based on real tests, not just what she says or how she acts now. Because women are professional actresses are, far better at it than men.

You can prioritize any question above the other based on your preferences or replace it entirely with whatever you want. Start from the top and work your way down.

1. Peace: Test her by seeing how she reacts when you get coddly with another woman. Am not saying cheat on her. But probably tell a woman to send you a text that has some endearing words. Do this twice. If she flares up at any time, she's not for you.

2. Respect: Tell her not to disturb you for 5 hours straight while you work or ask her to do something that might seem inconvenient. Test her with both scenarios.

3. Job/real income source: Most ladies nowadays do not have real jobs. They are tailors, makeup artists, or WhatsApp bag sellers. That's not something to build a future on. Ask your woman to draft a business plan and tell you how she's going to spend N500,000 for expansion or to pivot if you gave that to her. If she impresses you with her plan, tell her to go take the first step on her plan. If she does that, there's potential there. If she drags her feet or doesn't move, run.

4. Fidelity: You could create a fake account with a new number and pose as a random rich person that got her number from one of her friends. Then try to establish rapport and send her money to come and meet you at some place. Secondly, offer money to an outsider to try and woo her. If both fails, then you have a keeper.

5. Financial management: Tell her you only have so and so naira. Like 1/4 of what you spend per week. And you want her to help you manage that to last you for the week. See how she reacts. Do this the second time. If she actually comes through, she's a keeper.

6. God-fearing attitude: Ask her to pray and fast with you for one day (1 hour prayer, 6-6pm fast). Then on another day, ask her to read the Bible with you. If you're a Muslim, find a way to involve her in your service in a way that might be inconvenient, see how she reacts.

7. Character: Go to a restaurant beforehand, meet with the waiter and ask them to purposely delay serving you, then they should apologize and serve you. If she throws tantrums and keeps flaring up after the apology, that's a red flag. You could also get someone to help around the house, then offer onto give that person something beyond what they're owed. If she objects, she has a flawed character. Do both these tests.

8. Culinary skills: Pick a random snack or soup that's probably not indigenous to your tribe. Ask her to make it. If she does it well, she has culinary skills. In another instance, but something from a restaurant that you like, eat it together, next time, you tell her you want it cooked at home just like the restaurant did it.

9. Truthfulness and integrity: Give her some money to keep for you for a short period, tell her the money isn't that important to you though but could be useful for a rainy day. Tell her to take out some of the money for her needs. Then after the due date, ask her for the money. But do as if you don't remember how much you gave her. Call a lesser number and see if she flows along. If she does, that's possible integrity issues. The second time, buy a new line and create another fake WhatsApp profile and try to hit on her subtly while promising her a better life than what she currently has. Then ask her out for a drink. Then in the evening, ask about it. Tell her you checked her phone and she's giving the green light to some guy on WhatsApp. If she denies it completely or lies, she's not for you.

10. Fertility: Get down with her one day or two days before her ovulation. Before you reach this stage, you should be ready to father a child. Do this three times. If after the third time, she doesn't take in, she probably has fertility issues. Be sure you do not have issues yourself.

You can call it off at any time, even at stage 10. But it could be hard to call it off at that last stage, because you definitely found a good woman, and if you feel you'd keep trying or might do IVF down the line if worse comes to worse, then keep her.

Take it from 1 to 10. At stage 10, you're ready to be a husband and a father. Introduce her quickly to your parents and fast-track the wedding. I'm not a fan of the conventional dating to wedding and all that hype. Compatibility first. Marriage is a lifetime thing. It's really not ceremonial or something that has to follow a strict, traditional process.

And I'll consider all these. No compromises on anything. Although I'm married but I didn't really know this before I married, though my wife is a good woman. But there are aspects I wished I had tested her on. Well blood group and genotype, sexual history, and ability to communicate feelings without being an emotional mess matters too. But those are just foundational. Maybe not the last one, but that's something to consider too.

And you must be totally objective, tearing away all ur emotional and religious blindfolds when making assessments.

A woman can love a man easily, but a man who falls in love early is a weak man. The bible says "husbands love your wife". Love requires effort for a man. And it's something you only give to your wife. Before then, your brain is your friend.

But I'll display love though (yeah, never make a woman feel the love is one-sided). Women need love. That's why the bible specifically instructs husbands to love their wives. Go out of your way to display love to your woman. Displays of love are like watering a plant (but don't go overboard).

And of course sexual compatibility. I wouldn't even consider myself knowing anything about a woman unless we've gotten down two or more times.

So when a guy like me asks what do you bring to the table? It's not supposed to be a confrontational question. Or a question about your financial prowess. I don't think at this point, I'd ever need my woman's money in any capacity. But it's a question of can you actually make me happy as a man (for a man that's essentially peace, contribution, respect, and healthy children).

So as men, forget beauty, makeup, sex all that stuff and relate to women from these perspectives. Test and assess!

JimD:
Let me just drop this here:

The most important question to ask about a woman you're dating or a woman you're trying to date is: what does she have to offer me apart from sex and children?

You these low brow NL men, what else do you want her to offer you besides sex and children??

PoliteActivist:
You these low brow NL men, what else do you want her to offer you besides sex and children??

Of course. Like attracts like. You're def a low value man with zero standards.

JimD:
Of course. Like attracts like. You're def a low value man with zero standards.

Now I'm a man! I love it!🤣