₦airaland Forum

Simeonjoe1:
True, but note majority of women are not really like that, they are not created to cater for majority of finances. Even if she start doing at first she'll starts grumbling later, as an man you'll even feel less of yourself and uncomfortable when a woman start catering for majority of the responsibility no matter how learned you are.
Omo that's why I pray for conditions where a man can no longer meet his financial obligations due to economic hardship, even if it happens it shouldn't be for long..
This in particular had caused a lot of marital problems

tundebasic:
This is what I'm saying man. They turned relationship and marriage to something else.

In a nutshell, men should start committing suicide if they cannot meet up with the needs of their family even if they have wives that work and make good money. Whereas, the women are supposed to be there as helpmate.

Wisegeek01:
Here's the opinion you wont see anywhere on the internet . .. and you are hearing it for the first time
Sit tight !!


The phrase what are you brining to the table .. has grossly been misunderstood, some men that even ask the question don't even know why they are asking the question, while on the other hand some women fly into a fit of rage or keep dodging the question, why they are angry they don't even know, its just a psychological impulse,

first of all it is not mandatory for the lady to actually bring finance into the mix but it helps so that should not be the centre of the question, so the men asking and referring to finance really shouldn't do that, focus on what she is supposed to bring

.. its not her job to bring finance, so if you are referring to that you are asking the wrong contextual question, a lady actually has what she should bring to the table, but sadly not a lot of ladies have taken their time to sit down and think about the question, because the are always offended or defensive, its just a simple question, that you need to understand, its not you mdfkn job to bring finance, that is what the man should bring to the table,

what the lady brings to the table .. ranges from
great values
Emotional Intelligence
Attention to Detail
Organizational Skills
Nurture and Care
Empathy and Compassion
Collaborative Spirit
Multitasking Abilities
Intuition
Social Skills
Diplomacy
Support

when you list these features and tell the man you posses these traits
now it's your turn to ask him
what does he bring to the table
...
he should have most of these below
finance
protection
security
Leadership
Decision-Making Skills
Stability
Emotional Support
Problem-Solving Abilities
Initiative
Adaptability
Sense of Humor
Integrity
Shared Responsibilities

marriage or relationship is team effort, not competition
the next time i hear that question in the wrong context I fit flog person

tundebasic:
The situation you described here majorly happens in Nigeria. Something is fundamentally wrong with our perception of marriage. Can you go abroad as a woman and expect the man to carry all the financial burdens in the home?

Nigerians are dangerous people everywhere they go because of pressure such as these.

The same man black tax, he's also expected to provide 100% for wife and kids before they see him as a man.

Many Nigerians will continue to steal till Jesus comes. You know why?

Because we have a warped mentality such as the one where a man is expected to conjure money out of thin air in a restrogressive economy.

Wisegeek01:
Here's the opinion you wont see anywhere on the internet . .. and you are hearing it for the first time
Sit tight !!


The phrase what are you brining to the table .. has grossly been misunderstood, some men that even ask the question don't even know why they are asking the question, while on the other hand some women fly into a fit of rage or keep dodging the question, why they are angry they don't even know, its just a psychological impulse,

first of all it is not mandatory for the lady to actually bring finance into the mix but it helps so that should not be the centre of the question, so the men asking and referring to finance really shouldn't do that, focus on what she is supposed to bring

.. its not her job to bring finance, so if you are referring to that you are asking the wrong contextual question, a lady actually has what she should bring to the table, but sadly not a lot of ladies have taken their time to sit down and think about the question, because the are always offended or defensive, its just a simple question, that you need to understand, its not you mdfkn job to bring finance, that is what the man should bring to the table,

what the lady brings to the table .. ranges from
great values
Emotional Intelligence
Attention to Detail
Organizational Skills
Nurture and Care
Empathy and Compassion
Collaborative Spirit
Multitasking Abilities
Intuition
Social Skills
Diplomacy
Support

when you list these features and tell the man you posses these traits
now it's your turn to ask him
what does he bring to the table
...
he should have most of these below
finance
protection
security
Leadership
Decision-Making Skills
Stability
Emotional Support
Problem-Solving Abilities
Initiative
Adaptability
Sense of Humor
Integrity
Shared Responsibilities

marriage or relationship is team effort, not competition
the next time i hear that question in the wrong context I fit flog person

Simeonjoe1:
There's nothing wrong with black tax. And Nigerians are not dangerous people, infact we are one of the best. Why then are Nigerians bad? Because of our hard socioeconomic climate. Bad economy brings the worst and desperation in people hence Nigeria factor.

The abroad you mentioned, men earned way more than women, men contribute way more in the family than women (its never 50/50, a research even shows that men contributed 70% to household finances in the US, and in some 100%).
This shows even in advance society men will always contribute more financially, that's why the advocacy for equal gender pay is still a touching stone.

Make God just provide for everybody (all men out there). Nature is never fair to men. Men are created to toil and suffer for others before you'll even consider yourself.

Redemption77:
Let our women breathe. You guys are indirectly encouraging these women into feminism but you don't know that yet.
In the days of our forefathers, they never demand shi from their women, little or no wonder our mothers respected them and placed them on high regard.
A woman brings on those aforementioned to the table and you still expect her to regard you?
These days it's really hard to know who's now playing the main role and the supportive role. Spits !

SHIVA001:
Love Love Selfless service. In a marriage. As a man make sure your woman is Working and you are also working. E get why.

Wisegeek01:
Here's the opinion you wont see anywhere on the internet . .. and you are hearing it for the first time
Sit tight !!


The phrase what are you brining to the table .. has grossly been misunderstood, some men that even ask the question don't even know why they are asking the question, while on the other hand some women fly into a fit of rage or keep dodging the question, why they are angry they don't even know, its just a psychological impulse,

first of all it is not mandatory for the lady to actually bring finance into the mix but it helps so that should not be the centre of the question, so the men asking and referring to finance really shouldn't do that, focus on what she is supposed to bring

.. its not her job to bring finance, so if you are referring to that you are asking the wrong contextual question, a lady actually has what she should bring to the table, but sadly not a lot of ladies have taken their time to sit down and think about the question, because the are always offended or defensive, its just a simple question, that you need to understand, its not you mdfkn job to bring finance, that is what the man should bring to the table,

what the lady brings to the table .. ranges from
great values
Emotional Intelligence
Attention to Detail
Organizational Skills
Nurture and Care
Empathy and Compassion
Collaborative Spirit
Multitasking Abilities
Intuition
Social Skills
Diplomacy
Support

when you list these features and tell the man you posses these traits
now it's your turn to ask him
what does he bring to the table
...
he should have most of these below
finance
protection
security
Leadership
Decision-Making Skills
Stability
Emotional Support
Problem-Solving Abilities
Initiative
Adaptability
Sense of Humor
Integrity
Shared Responsibilities

marriage or relationship is team effort, not competition
the next time i hear that question in the wrong context I fit flog person

Wisegeek01:
Yes true but its totally not her priority, but the man's, if she works it's good enough as a support system for the man, and that means you will split her duties with her as well, if she asks you to help out with things you do it without question otherwise that is where you will start getting a negative feedback, plus she will need to take a lot of breaks too unless she just loves the work naturally, if she does, that brings in a different arrangement for 3rd parties to come in and assist with little things like home care and whatnot .. and the good part is both of you can afford to pay for that, since you both work

tundebasic:
Yeah, we are saying the same thing. Like you posited, abroad some women still contribute 30% to the home. It means there is no hard rule to how you run your home.

Nobody is saying it should be 50-50 here. In fact, it can be 90-10 or 80-20.

And, no, everything is wrong with black tax. The economy you want to grow how will it grow when the leaders are under pressure to use money to satisfy everybody in their villages?

UptownVibes:
The major things men wants ladies to bring to the table is Loyalty and support. These days they bring other men's children for you to train,and they will blackmail you emotionally till you become frustrated..

Simeonjoe1:
Ok atleast we've agreed on gender roles.

Now to black tax. There's absolutely nothing wrong with black tax. Your immediate family and extended are entitled to your money, yes your hard earned money.

Africa is a homogeneous society who has tried hard to instill western values into our fabrics yet we failed to to adobt a 100% this has lead to cultural clashes that had compounded our problems.
We are a homogeneous group, we have no central collecting system, majority of your produce are share within the family which everyone contribute.
If you're the biggest person in that family you contribute more while even expecting less from family members, hence the feed on you.

Europeans on the other hand from history pay their taxes to their bourgeois and manor lords, which constitute the government, we pays ours to our family (check traditional Africa home it's a compound with many rooms where grand, sons and wives, uncles and other extended family lives. The house is build by the most influential in the family and he provides majorly for all the extensions with the family working for him, this system is not only practiced in Africa, check South America its also their way. Where majority of the family work for the most influential male and her cather for all the family problems.

Africans pays the least number of tax. Check our tax /gdp it's the lowest in the world, that's because we are not used to paying tax for a central government.
While in Europe taxes can be as high as 40%
So if Nigeria charges you 15% as taxes for the government, the other 25% is your black tax =they are meant for your parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family members. The more you earn the more they expect from you, hence they are entitled.
With this homogeneous mindset, if we decide to adopt the western ways and say nobody is entitled to your money then we are inviting problem, and as the government will punish tax evaders your family can also pepper you for not meeting your obligations.

Wisegeek01:
Here's the opinion you wont see anywhere on the internet . .. and you are hearing it for the first time
Sit tight !!


The phrase what are you brining to the table .. has grossly been misunderstood, some men that even ask the question don't even know why they are asking the question, while on the other hand some women fly into a fit of rage or keep dodging the question, why they are angry they don't even know, its just a psychological impulse,

first of all it is not mandatory for the lady to actually bring finance into the mix but it helps so that should not be the centre of the question, so the men asking and referring to finance really shouldn't do that, focus on what she is supposed to bring

.. its not her job to bring finance, so if you are referring to that you are asking the wrong contextual question, a lady actually has what she should bring to the table, but sadly not a lot of ladies have taken their time to sit down and think about the question, because the are always offended or defensive, its just a simple question, that you need to understand, its not you mdfkn job to bring finance, that is what the man should bring to the table,

what the lady brings to the table .. ranges from
great values
Emotional Intelligence
Attention to Detail
Organizational Skills
Nurture and Care
Empathy and Compassion
Collaborative Spirit
Multitasking Abilities
Intuition
Social Skills
Diplomacy
Support

when you list these features and tell the man you posses these traits
now it's your turn to ask him
what does he bring to the table
...
he should have most of these below
finance
protection
security
Leadership
Decision-Making Skills
Stability
Emotional Support
Problem-Solving Abilities
Initiative
Adaptability
Sense of Humor
Integrity
Shared Responsibilities

marriage or relationship is team effort, not competition
the next time i hear that question in the wrong context I fit flog person

Wisegeek01:
Here's the opinion you wont see anywhere on the internet . .. and you are hearing it for the first time
Sit tight !!


The phrase what are you brining to the table .. has grossly been misunderstood, some men that even ask the question don't even know why they are asking the question, while on the other hand some women fly into a fit of rage or keep dodging the question, why they are angry they don't even know, its just a psychological impulse,

first of all it is not mandatory for the lady to actually bring finance into the mix but it helps so that should not be the centre of the question, so the men asking and referring to finance really shouldn't do that, focus on what she is supposed to bring

.. its not her job to bring finance, so if you are referring to that you are asking the wrong contextual question, a lady actually has what she should bring to the table, but sadly not a lot of ladies have taken their time to sit down and think about the question, because the are always offended or defensive, its just a simple question, that you need to understand, its not you mdfkn job to bring finance, that is what the man should bring to the table,

what the lady brings to the table .. ranges from
great values
Emotional Intelligence
Attention to Detail
Organizational Skills
Nurture and Care
Empathy and Compassion
Collaborative Spirit
Multitasking Abilities
Intuition
Social Skills
Diplomacy
Support

when you list these features and tell the man you posses these traits
now it's your turn to ask him
what does he bring to the table
...
he should have most of these below
finance
protection
security
Leadership
Decision-Making Skills
Stability
Emotional Support
Problem-Solving Abilities
Initiative
Adaptability
Sense of Humor
Integrity
Shared Responsibilities

marriage or relationship is team effort, not competition
the next time i hear that question in the wrong context I fit flog person

Simeonjoe1:
There's nothing wrong with black tax. And Nigerians are not dangerous people, infact we are one of the best. Why then are Nigerians bad? Because of our hard socioeconomic climate. Bad economy brings the worst and desperation in people hence Nigeria factor.

The abroad you mentioned, men earned way more than women, men contribute way more in the family than women (its never 50/50, a research even shows that men contributed 70% to household finances in the US, and in some 100%).
This shows even in advance society men will always contribute more financially, that's why the advocacy for equal gender pay is still a touching stone.

Make God just provide for everybody (all men out there). Nature is never fair to men. Men are created to toil and suffer for others before you'll even consider yourself.

Wisegeek01:
Here's the opinion you wont see anywhere on the internet . .. and you are hearing it for the first time
Sit tight !!


The phrase what are you brining to the table .. has grossly been misunderstood, some men that even ask the question don't even know why they are asking the question, while on the other hand some women fly into a fit of rage or keep dodging the question, why they are angry they don't even know, its just a psychological impulse,

first of all it is not mandatory for the lady to actually bring finance into the mix but it helps so that should not be the centre of the question, so the men asking and referring to finance really shouldn't do that, focus on what she is supposed to bring

.. its not her job to bring finance, so if you are referring to that you are asking the wrong contextual question, a lady actually has what she should bring to the table, but sadly not a lot of ladies have taken their time to sit down and think about the question, because the are always offended or defensive, its just a simple question, that you need to understand, its not you mdfkn job to bring finance, that is what the man should bring to the table,

what the lady brings to the table .. ranges from
great values
Emotional Intelligence
Attention to Detail
Organizational Skills
Nurture and Care
Empathy and Compassion
Collaborative Spirit
Multitasking Abilities
Intuition
Social Skills
Diplomacy
Support

when you list these features and tell the man you posses these traits
now it's your turn to ask him
what does he bring to the table
...
he should have most of these below
finance
protection
security
Leadership
Decision-Making Skills
Stability
Emotional Support
Problem-Solving Abilities
Initiative
Adaptability
Sense of Humor
Integrity
Shared Responsibilities

marriage or relationship is team effort, not competition
the next time i hear that question in the wrong context I fit flog person

Aditkd:
Greetings Sir.
Hope your day went on well as planned?
The Esoteric books really caught my interest.
I have read a lot in the past and wish I could get assess to more currently going through the Master Key by L.W. De Laurence.

ZIMDRILL:
do you understand black tax, black tax is wrong eg its not the duty of the 1st child to send his young brothers to skol, its the parents, lets plan the children we want to have against our productive years meaning your own sweat sends your own children to skol not another child