₦airaland Forum

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Gerrard59:
Twale! You have finished work. It has been a long time since I have seen anyone write so comprehensively about early reproduction without considering the state of the economy and non-adherence to contraceptives.

Well done! The major difference between how you explained it and how I would have explained is the choice of words. You are a calmer version of myself on a topic like this.

Your neigbour did himself very bad, ditto the woman. My crush in secondary school gisted me how she declined the advances of a man based in Canada because he mentioned she would have four kids as part of their union. If I marry someone like that, I might forgo vasectomy because I know what she can do.

The bold are pertinent aspects to note.

Thanks again.

Birth control is both ways. Married people must learn to give each other the right support for a better future of their family. The whole thing makes perfect sense when the woman takes responsibility for it. I'm not in any way trying to push it on the woman but the woman can check it better than the man.

An average man hardly considers anything when he's in the mood, but a woman can make you pause because they are not as hot as you feel. Again, when the chips are down, they suffer more.

And you keep talking about vasectomy. Why are you keen on that option? I'm not against it anyway, but I prefer the standard days method and condom use. No big deal with them! I personally taught my woman how to determine her safe days and we use that window very well. You know what I mean

So, once the days are over, we go back to condom, and also face our work because once you are too free, you may likely want to do it often, but when your hands are full, you'll most likely get tired or forget about it sometimes.

When it comes to birth control, everyone must know about it and play their role. Above all, we don't have to allow it come in between our success or happiness in life, else the essence of life becomes defeated. I don't see anything about life if you are not successful or happy with your life.

For some of us, the only place we missed it is in the area of early marriage and pregnancy, and before you know what's going on, friends and family have ignored you to your fate. In a country that we are already plagued with bad leadership at all levels of governance, no one will want to associate with someone they can't get any tangible help from.

Karleb:
It's always interesting to watch Nigerians put themselves into hardship intentionally just by making awful decisions.

I no dey pity them again. Baba! Oil dey your head.

Lol. We can only keep talking about these issues and praying for change. Even though our government is bad, we can still navigate through life here and come out strong. That's what I believe.

Gerrard59:
Twale! You have finished work. It has been a long time since I have seen anyone write so comprehensively about early reproduction without considering the state of the economy and non-adherence to contraceptives.

Well done! The major difference between how you explained it and how I would have explained is the choice of words. You are a calmer version of myself on a topic like this.

Your neigbour did himself very bad, ditto the woman. My crush in secondary school gisted me how she declined the advances of a man based in Canada because he mentioned she would have four kids as part of their union. If I marry someone like that, I might forgo vasectomy because I know what she can do.

The bold are pertinent aspects to note.

Thanks again.

I have a friend whom is the architect of his own problems today. This guy was riding bus on higher purchase, when it was near the time he would pay off the car, boom, they take the car from him simply because towards the end, he was not meeting up his quota. He would carry his girlfriend throughout the day whilst on round and she would occupy a seat making him lose money.


Last year I got a call from him telling me he's got a child now. I was angry and pissed at him. What was his excuse, he said, if you see a girl you like waiting to make the money would take time that a why he had to get her pregnant.... And that God will provide.

It's been a while since I read something tangible on here. You've said it all, and I've got nothing to say again.

samuelson06:
You've touched some real good stuff in this comment. Like you've said, children are only a blessing when they are well taken care of—not choking them up in a room and expecting miracle of success when they grow into adulthood.

There's a baby genius in Maths on TikTok. The child is just two and can't really talk but can do wonders when it comes to arithmetics (not simple ones). You keep wondering how he does it, you don't understand. The child gives you straight answers to multiplication problems that should take long steps to get the answers.

When commenters asked the mom how she did it, the young mom explained that she exposes the child to learning on YouTube. So, the child keeps absorbing and absorbing those materials until it got to a stage that his brain got configured to also solve those problems without further classroom learning.

What are we saying here? The parents were able to sacrifice a screen in the house, got internet connection, and made time to supervise the child to consistently feed on the content of whatever channel that was coming from. The sacrificed the time needed for the child at that time. Now, we can only imagine the genius that child will become in future. And that's going to make things very easy for the parents because the child is going to start making money earlier than his peers.

So, once you have prepared for the child and have everything in place, parenting becomes easy. You just get result without much struggles. How many parents make time or have the financial muscle to raise a child like that? But they don't see it that way. They don't even see anything wrong with their abysmal parenting situation. Their only joy is that they are married and God has "blessed" them with kid(s).

Then when it comes to contraceptives, I think the sensitization isn't enough, but then, who are you waiting for to sensitize you on what contraception method is best for you or how it can help your life? Sadly, there's so much knowledge gap there. Do you know that most married men don't even have regard for contraception? I had a neighbor who's now in his village because of self-induced hardship. Then I used to bring condoms to the compound and I'll call him to come get some like guys do, but nigga will be behaving as though I'm introducing him to some sort of sin. So, I stopped and used my weapons alone.

Years later, he's burdened his life with two kids in a bedroom flat. His wife was doing nothing while he was a Bolter. Long story short, they had to relocate to the village because of hardship—they couldn't afford the rent again. But what brought the hardship? Unplanned marriage and pregnancy! Once women enter marriage, they want to have a baby. They hardly care whether you use condom or you don't, afterall, everyone enjoys skin-to-skin. So, you got a child when you were not doing anything serious and as if that wasn't enough, you impregnated the woman again while she was breastfeeding the baby and that forced her to wean the child at hand.

The man rejected contraception because he thought married men don't need it and the woman wasn't responsible enough to insist on protection or no sex. So, it's a whole lot of issues that require reorientation of our people. They won't just listen to you and when the chips are down, they want to push some of their responsibilities to you else they see you as not wanting to help them. Meanwhile, both of you hard same opportunities and even from similar backgrounds but you were able to delay some gratifications to fix yours.

Sometimes, they may even feel you are doing fraud without knowing that there's nothing that can bring a man down so quick like him rushing into marriage and beginning to make babies he can't raise. That thing is one way ticket to poverty and when their eyes become clear, they regret everything. Then the children have probably become street children and no longer respect them, because the children now see them as useless or near-useless parents.

Again, where's the glory? Where's the joy?

Kingrshd3:
You don't have a problem bro ..

First of all are you in Lagos ?

If YES then contact me

can you share your mail or number can;t send you a message on nairaland

samuelson06:
And you keep talking about vasectomy. Why are you keen on that option? I'm not against it anyway, but I prefer the standard days method and condom use. No big deal with them! I personally taught my woman how to determine her safe days and we use that window very well. You know what I mean

When it comes to birth control, everyone must know about it and play their role. Above all, we don't have to allow it come in between our success or happiness in life, else the essence of life becomes defeated. I don't see anything about life if you are not successful or happy with your life.

For some of us, the only place we missed it is in the area of early marriage and pregnancy, and before you know what's going on, friends and family have ignored you to your fate. In a country that we are already plagued with bad leadership at all levels of governance, no one will want to associate with someone they can't get any tangible help from.

I am not a fan of too many children, especially when I am saddled with the responsibility of catering for them. That has been my nature, and I knew it was real the first day I resumed at my PPA. The sight of the children hit me! "I whispered to myself: it can never be me. Never should it happen." So, I want to do my part to prevent such. I am an advocate of each human being responsible for his/her actions rather than abdicating them to anyone else.

Additionally, I am a fan of women's bodies, especially young women: their succulent breasts and oiled vaginas. Should I indulge in away matches, I don't want to score own goals.

Regex:
I have a friend whom is the architect of his own problems today. This guy was riding bus on higher purchase, when it was near the time he would pay off the car, boom, they take the car from him simply because towards the end, he was not meeting up his quota. He would carry his girlfriend throughout the day whilst on round and she would occupy a seat making him lose money.

Last year I got a call from him telling me he's got a child now. I was angry and pissed at him. What was his excuse, he said, if you see a girl you like waiting to make the money would take time that a why he had to get her pregnant.... And that God will provide.

Over the past few years, I have become a little empathetic to people who have similar reasons, provided they have only a child while working to improve their finances. Once it passes one, anything they see, let them take it like that.

Gerrard59:
Over the past few years, I have become a little empathetic to people who have similar reasons, provided they have only a child while working to improve their finances. Once it passes one, anything they see, let them take it like that.

Now the guy is not working as he has no business and no car to drive around. Tomorrow this folk will be blaming forces from his village. Mind you thr family bought a car for him from the sale of land, and the car is broken down beyond repair. He opened a shop a sell phone accessories, and that one packed up before his girlfriend gave birth for him.

I am in UK, working a permanent job, and on route to getting my ILR, I am still skeptical of having kids, I do want to have one to cement my stay here, but omo, I gats reason the whole thing.

Your portfolio is great! It just need to be seen by the right person, keep grinding. Consistency is the key.

Gerrard59:
I am not a fan of too many children, especially when I am saddled with the responsibility of catering for them. That has been my nature, and I knew it was real the first day I resumed at my PPA. The sight of the children hit me! "I whispered to myself: it can never be me. Never should it happen." So, I want to do my part to prevent such. I am an advocate of each human being responsible for his/her actions rather than abdicating them to anyone else.

Additionally, I am a fan of women's bodies, especially young women: their succulent breasts and oiled vaginas. Should I indulge in away matches, I don't want to score own goals.

Condom is the way but not a guarantee. The standard days method is only best with your wife, not some random girl that you can't trust.

Regex:
Now the guy is not working as he has no business and no car to drive around. Tomorrow this folk will be blaming forces from his village. Mind you thr family bought a car for him from the sale of land, and the car is broken down beyond repair. He opened a shop a sell phone accessories, and that one packed up before his girlfriend gave birth for him.

The family share part of the blame. What were they thinking when they sold an asset to support his finances? Why did they keep mute when he was failing? I won't be surprised if they sponsored his wedding. Our people tend to prioritise nonsense.

I am in UK, working a permanent job, and on route to getting my ILR, I am still skeptical of having kids, I do want to have one to cement my stay here, but omo, I gats reason the whole thing.

Except you are married to a Brit who would love to have a child to assure herself you are staying put in the marriage, how does a child cement your stay in the UK? That is, what has it got to do with obtaining ILR? Even on the kids' aspect, there is a growing number of DINK couples and the Home Office should have come across immigrant couples who have such an arrangement.

Gerrard59:
The family share part of the blame. What were they thinking when they sold an asset to support his finances? Why did they keep mute when he was failing? I won't be surprised if they sponsored his wedding. Our people tend to prioritise nonsense.



Except you are married to a Brit who would love to have a child to assure herself you are staying put in the marriage, how does a child cement your stay in the UK? That is, what has it got to do with obtaining ILR? Even on the kids' aspect, there is a growing number of DINK couples and the Home Office should have come across immigrant couples who have such an arrangement.

If I have a child I could be on the parent visa.

The guy did not marry her yet. They're just dating. But yeah, the family encouraged his excesses. When I mean they're in perpetual penury, I mean they are absolutely poor. His parents has 6 kids, and he didn't think it wise to pull himself out of such situation before marrying let alone having kids. I wonder why he was telling he's got a family now. That's not an achievement at all, that's a mischief of life.

Regex:
If I have a child I could be on the parent visa.

Does this hastens the process to ILR? If it does, by how much? I thought the UK is pretty straightforward and has one path - spend at least five abi six years then get ILR? Wouldn't the costs balloon as a parent applying for ILR?

The guy did not marry her yet. They're just dating. But yeah, the family encouraged his excesses. When I mean they're in perpetual penury, I mean they are absolutely poor. His parents has 6 kids, and he didn't think it wise to pull himself out of such situation before marrying let alone having kids. , that's a mischief of life.

I talk am! Where God will punish him is if he is the first child or first son.

I wonder why he was telling he's got a family now. That's not an achievement at all

Nah. It is an achievement. They said it brings blessings. But I wonder why the country too poor if such was true.

Regex:
I have a friend whom is the architect of his own problems today. This guy was riding bus on higher purchase, when it was near the time he would pay off the car, boom, they take the car from him simply because towards the end, he was not meeting up his quota. He would carry his girlfriend throughout the day whilst on round and she would occupy a seat making him lose money.


Last year I got a call from him telling me he's got a child now. I was angry and pissed at him. What was his excuse, he said, if you see a girl you like waiting to make the money would take time that a why he had to get her pregnant.... And that God will provide.

Friend or ex-friend? You sef

pansophist:
Friend or ex-friend? You sef

Ex-friend oh...😂 😂 😂

Gerrard59:
Does this hastens the process to ILR? If it does, by how much? I thought the UK is pretty straightforward and has one path - spend at least five abi six years then get ILR? Wouldn't the costs balloon as a parent applying for ILR?



I talk am! Where God will punish him is if he is the first child or first son.



Nah. It is an achievement. They said it brings blessings. But I wonder why the country too poor if such was true.

Being on the parent visa will not hasting the process up, rather you are 100% sure getting to where you are going. I have my personal reasons for wanting that route, I am just asking myself if it's worth it.


The guy is the second child, the first one is in Italy, he migrated via the sea which is awful and has not found his ground yet.

Gerrard59:
Nah. It is an achievement. They said it brings blessings. But I wonder why the country too poor if such was true.

Which blessings? Honestly, religion is the major issue of Nigeria. It would have been better we were a secular state than a religious one. A typical Nigeria who claims religion is not from his attitude.

refsilva:
I am a Frontend Developer .. let me call myself intermediate however, i haven't had any full time role before . The only thing I have done is an internship and throughout the internship I was Opportuned to get some on the job training.

The journey hasn't been easy so far.. Looking back at everything i have invested well close to 500 k on this web dev stuff, yet i haven't gotten a job yet

To me it seems like this tech of a thing is just another Gold rush that seem to go nowhere. The stuff is to me seems more like luck...and i am getting tired of the whole thing all together

You will see guys posting tech as a pathway to wealth but is it really...

I was doing marketing jejely before jumping into Tech.. Now i'm soo soo jobless
I have submitted countless applications, yet no evidence.. Most won't even reply, and some will respectfully send a rejection.

I don't know if i should pivot to another thing or give up altogether... Cause this stuff isn't bringing money, and someone has to sort out oneself else one will end up marrying at 35..

What do you guys think about this. Are you earning any money off front-end... Pls be realistic...


If you are, How do you do it, If you aren't how are you juggling expenses

In case you want to know what skill level I fall into, here is my portfolio:https://yusuff-portfolio.netlify.app/#Work

What tech did you use for the animation?

samuelson06:
No wahala bro. I only wish the young man would take it and run with his life.

Usually, I plead with young men around me to exercise a little restrain, fix themselves, and from there, they can go build a family.

All of us would have loved to finish with childbearing before we get to 40 or 42. I would've loved to do that, at least that's what is obtainable in first world countries. Even before 35, many of them are done with childbearing—two or three kids and they done. Before 40, you see their body recovering and the females will appear like they've not given birth before.

But here we are in a country that our leaders don't care about us; nothing works here. The few gains we made as a country, they've destroyed everything as we speak. Today, the once giant of Africa stands like a begger. Nigeria is practically begging for survival. As young people, and we have to understand this sad reality and adjust accordingly.

I come from a humble background so I've tasted poverty. Poverty has a sour and bitter taste. Its color is black, and once it draws you to itself, your life practically becomes like the black color, a dark night, and a nightmare. The taste of your life becomes sour and bitter, and everyone tries to distant themselves from you—not because they truly hate you, but because you have nothing to offer—nothing to offer yourself, nor your children. There and then, it becomes clear to you that your life is a waste. But you had the chance not to get here

Sometimes, I don't teach people how to lead a good life. I sit with them and talk about poverty and the moment they make up their mind to reject that demon, they become motivated to work—putting everything else aside and just fight to defeat that monster.

Being a Nigerian, I know this country so well and I know it may never change—at least, not in this generation. So, I seize every opportunity to talk to young people about ways they can fix their life independent of the support they ought to get from the government. The task may be enormous but it's surmountable. It requires patience, hardwork, consistency, focus, and determination to succeed.

You'll be wasting your time if you keep jumping from one hustle to another. It shows that you are not serious or you may be too in a hurry to make it. Let's take the poster here for example, he's invested some amount of time, money, and other resources into becoming a frontend developer and he's on his way to becoming an expert in that field. Sadly, he now feels he's been wasting his time choosing a path that doesn't work and now feels like throwing away the experience and momentum he's been gathering in the coding sphere.

If that happens, he's going to start all over again elsewhere. Meanwhile, they are people succeeding where he's running away from and all he needed was to build on what he's known already and keep forging ahead. When it comes to success, you don't do magic. You just have to find a way and keep building up the momentum and with time, even nature will bear witness with your spirit that you've done your best and it's time for you to be announced to the world.

I can keep talking and talking. There's a formula to succeeding even in a rough country like Nigeria, but you have to be serious. It's not a game of luck but hard work—putting first things first, and not giving up.

I wish all of us the best in 2024.

Word of wisdom

samuelson06:
You've touched some real good stuff in this comment. Like you've said, children are only a blessing when they are well taken care of—not choking them up in a room and expecting miracle of success when they grow into adulthood.

There's a baby genius in Maths on TikTok. The child is just two and can't really talk but can do wonders when it comes to arithmetics (not simple ones). You keep wondering how he does it, you don't understand. The child gives you straight answers to multiplication problems that should take long steps to get the answers.

When commenters asked the mom how she did it, the young mom explained that she exposes the child to learning on YouTube. So, the child keeps absorbing and absorbing those materials until it got to a stage that his brain got configured to also solve those problems without further classroom learning.

What are we saying here? The parents were able to sacrifice a screen in the house, got internet connection, and made time to supervise the child to consistently feed on the content of whatever channel that was coming from. They sacrificed the time needed for the child at that time. Now, we can only imagine the genius that child will become in future. And that's going to make things very easy for the parents because the child is going to start making money earlier than his peers.

So, once you have prepared for the child and have everything in place, parenting becomes easy. You just get result without much struggles. How many parents make time or have the financial muscle to raise a child like that? But they don't see it that way. They don't even see anything wrong with their abysmal parenting situation. Their only joy is that they are married and God has "blessed" them with kid(s).

Then when it comes to contraceptives, I think the sensitization isn't enough, but then, who are you waiting for to sensitize you on what contraception method is best for you or how it can help your life? Sadly, there's so much knowledge gap there. Do you know that most married men don't even have regard for contraception? I had a neighbor who's now in his village because of self-induced hardship. Then I used to bring condoms to the compound and I'll call him to come get some like guys do, but nigga will be behaving as though I'm introducing him to some sort of sin. So, I stopped and used my weapons alone.

Years later, he's burdened his life with two kids in a bedroom flat. His wife was doing nothing while he was a Bolter. Long story short, they had to relocate to the village because of hardship—they couldn't afford the rent again. But what brought the hardship? Unplanned marriage and pregnancy! Once women enter marriage, they want to have a baby. They hardly care whether you use condom or you don't, afterall, everyone enjoys skin-to-skin. So, you got a child when you were not doing anything serious and as if that wasn't enough, you impregnated the woman again while she was breastfeeding the baby and that forced her to wean the child at hand.

The man rejected contraception because he thought married men don't need it and the woman wasn't responsible enough to insist on protection or no sex. So, it's a whole lot of issues that require reorientation of our people. They won't just listen to you and when the chips are down, they want to push some of their responsibilities to you else they see you as not wanting to help them. Meanwhile, both of you hard same opportunities and even from similar backgrounds but you were able to delay some gratifications to fix yours.

Sometimes, they may even feel you are doing fraud without knowing that there's nothing that can bring a man down so quick like him rushing into marriage and beginning to make babies he can't raise. That thing is one way ticket to poverty and when their eyes become clear, they regret everything. By then the children have probably become street children and no longer respect them, because the children now see them as useless or near-useless parents.

Again, where's the glory? Where's the joy?

You're talking facts bro. You've earned a follower.

Any young man between 18 - 30 from less privileged home or still struggling does not suppose to be thinking of marriage.

Na man you be. Even at 60 you fit still born abi you get menopause?

Badmashii:
You're talking facts bro. You've earned a follower.

Any young man between 18 - 30 from less privileged home or still struggling does not suppose to be thinking of marriage.

Na man you be. Even at 60 you fit still born abi you get menopause?

Not just from a less privileged home or still struggling. That shouldn't be the only pointer. I only stressed the age factor because of impending poverty.

They are actually rich kids within same age range that do badly in marriage because they lack the knowledge of how to make it work. They feel it's about money so they use their money to mess things up. You can even see that in our so-called celebrities. Look, raising wonderful children goes beyond having money but let's leave that side for now.

And you are talking about getting to 60 before getting married. I know you can still get married by then and even have a child, but why 60? As much as you need to be financially stable before getting married, doing so at 60 is odd. What have you been doing with your life let's say from 30 to 45?

If you begin to build something let's say from your late 20s into early 30s, such should mature by your late 30s or early 40s. So, why wait until 60?

If by your late 40s you can't still make ends meet, then you should retire to some cheap place to settle down with a cheap local girl. Another option could be looking out for a woman that may be interested in marrying a man and making him her responsibility.

I feel at every point in life, we can always adjust to balance or land well, then continue with life without necessarily feeling pressured to do anything.

samuelson06:
No wahala bro. I only wish the young man would take it and run with his life.

Usually, I plead with young men around me to exercise a little restrain, fix themselves, and from there, they can go build a family.

All of us would have loved to finish with childbearing before we get to 40 or 42. I would've loved to do that, at least that's what is obtainable in first world countries. Even before 35, many of them are done with childbearing—two or three kids and they done. Before 40, you see their body recovering and the females will appear like they've not given birth before.

But here we are in a country that our leaders don't care about us; nothing works here. The few gains we made as a country, they've destroyed everything as we speak. Today, the once giant of Africa stands like a begger. Nigeria is practically begging for survival. As young people, and we have to understand this sad reality and adjust accordingly.

I come from a humble background so I've tasted poverty. Poverty has a sour and bitter taste. Its color is black, and once it draws you to itself, your life practically becomes like the black color, a dark night, and a nightmare. The taste of your life becomes sour and bitter, and everyone tries to distant themselves from you—not because they truly hate you, but because you have nothing to offer—nothing to offer yourself, nor your children. There and then, it becomes clear to you that your life is a waste. But you had the chance not to get here

Sometimes, I don't teach people how to lead a good life. I sit with them and talk about poverty and the moment they make up their mind to reject that demon, they become motivated to work—putting everything else aside and just fight to defeat that monster.

Being a Nigerian, I know this country so well and I know it may never change—at least, not in this generation. So, I seize every opportunity to talk to young people about ways they can fix their life independent of the support they ought to get from the government. The task may be enormous but it's surmountable. It requires patience, hardwork, consistency, focus, and determination to succeed.

You'll be wasting your time if you keep jumping from one hustle to another. It shows that you are not serious or you may be too in a hurry to make it. Let's take the poster here for example, he's invested some amount of time, money, and other resources into becoming a frontend developer and he's on his way to becoming an expert in that field. Sadly, he now feels he's been wasting his time choosing a path that doesn't work and now feels like throwing away the experience and momentum he's been gathering in the coding sphere.

If that happens, he's going to start all over again elsewhere. Meanwhile, they are people succeeding where he's running away from and all he needed was to build on what he's known already and keep forging ahead. When it comes to success, you don't do magic. You just have to find a way and keep building up the momentum and with time, even nature will bear witness with your spirit that you've done your best and it's time for you to be announced to the world.

I can keep talking and talking. There's a formula to succeeding even in a rough country like Nigeria, but you have to be serious. It's not a game of luck but hard work—putting first things first, and not giving up.

I wish all of us the best in 2024.

I find this motivational. Thanks

samuelson06:
Lol. There's nothing I hate like poverty. How can I sit and watch my children that can't even fight for themselves living in want? Many parents in Nigeria today can't even afford baby food let alone children toy.

I have a neighbor with two babies in a self-contain room. We are both paying rent. The wife takes care of the babies in the house while he works, but how much is he paid monthly? Peanut! Not even up to 200k. And he'll be bragging about having a son, when he's always timing to see when I leave the house so I can drop him off. Now, tell me, when is he going to leave behind such poverty? Where is the joy in raising the family? How can I live with two kids in a self-con, even if 1 or 2 bedroom flat sef, as long as it's rented? When am I going to build my own house and stop paying rent?

So, these are the issues. No be say we like to dey fornicate, but that's better than getting into a mess in the name of getting married or raising a family.

Don't be decieved if u are waiting for a great and better life before u start having kids too u might turn 55years when u are old already when ur mate thier children are in universities excelling in studies and becoming an engineer in the future u are here talking about quality life or such...

See let me tell u there are so many poor background people too that later became somebody in life.

If u wait until u have all u want before starting a family I am telling u that u will blame urself when u are 60 then ur first son is just 3years old 😢.

When u turn 65/70 who will cater for u at old age 🤔
Who will cook and look after u 🤔
Fingers are not equal and u believing that u must make it before starting family too is a clause that may not happen ....


I believe ur parents gave birth to u and not considering what u are saying now or else u wouldn't have been born till date..



I DIDNT CONDEMN PLANNING ITS GOOD TO PLAN BUT AT SAME TIME LOOK AT YOUR CLOCK ⌚ AND LIFE SPAN TO CALCULATE UR OLD AGE TOO .....

PEACE BRO 🙏

YOU TRY SMALL FOR THIS UR WRITEUP
FINGERS ARE STILL NOT EQUAL SOME PEOPLE JUMP INTO MARRIAGE UNPLANNED AND DUE TO FINANCIAL PRESSURE LEAD THEM TO BUSSINESS AND LATER DIDNT REGRET IR WHEN THEY FIND GREATNESS ..

WHILE SOME ARE IN THE OTHER WAY ROUND..


GIVING BIRTH AND MARRIAGE DOESN'T REALLY HAVE DEFINITE TIME OR PERFECT CALENDER FOR IT ..
SOME PEOPLE MARRIED OR GIVE BIRTH AT AGE 21 AND TILL DAYE HE STILL ACHIEVED HIS AIM AND PROSPER IN LIFE..

SOME MARRIED EARLY ROO AND MARRY RIGHT..

WHILE SOME WAITED FOR SO LONG AND ENDED UP MARRY WRONG AND GIVING BIRTH OUT OF WEDLOCK ....

LIFE LIFE LIFE...
WHAT WORKS FOR MR A MIGHT NOT WORK FOR MR B

THATS JUST THE IRONY OF LIFE.. ✍️

samuelson06:
Not just from a less privileged home or still struggling. That shouldn't be the only pointer. I only stressed the age factor because of impending poverty.

They are actually rich kids within same age range that do badly in marriage because they lack the knowledge of how to make it work. They feel it's about money so they use their money to mess things up. You can even see that in our so-called celebrities. Look, raising wonderful children goes beyond having money but let's leave that side for now.

And you are talking about getting to 60 before getting married. I know you can still get married by then and even have a child, but why 60? As much as you need to be financially stable before getting married, doing so at 60 is odd. What have you been doing with your life let's say from 30 to 45?

If you begin to build something let's say from your late 20s into early 30s, such should mature by your late 30s or early 40s. So, why wait until 60?

If by your late 40s you can't still make ends meet, then you should retire to some cheap place to settle down with a cheap local girl. Another option could be looking out for a woman that may be interested in marrying a man and making him her responsibility.

I feel at every point in life, we can always adjust to balance or land well, then continue with life without necessarily feeling pressured to do anything.

Kingrshd3:
Don't be decieved if u are waiting for a great and better life before u start having kids too u might turn 55years when u are old already when ur mate thier children are in universities excelling in studies and becoming an engineer in the future u are here talking about quality life or such...

See let me tell u there are so many poor background people too that later became somebody in life.

If u wait until u have all u want before starting a family I am telling u that u will blame urself when u are 60 then ur first son is just 3years old 😢.

When u turn 65/70 who will cater for u at old age 🤔
Who will cook and look after u 🤔
Fingers are not equal and u believing that u must make it before starting family too is a clause that may not happen ....


I believe ur parents gave birth to u and not considering what u are saying now or else u wouldn't have been born till date..



I DIDNT CONDEMN PLANNING ITS GOOD TO PLAN BUT AT SAME TIME LOOK AT YOUR CLOCK ⌚ AND LIFE SPAN TO CALCULATE UR OLD AGE TOO .....

PEACE BRO 🙏

These are just excuses to console yourself. Don't worry about me bro. Let's be concerned about the quality of life that we all enjoy and what factors led to it.

There's nothing wrong if I wasn't born than being born into poverty. I'll lose nothing being in wherever I would've been. My parents didn't do any good to have brought me to world. They had unprotected sex when they were not supposed to that's why I came. If they had delayed, probably my siblings' life or mine would've been better than the way we are today. So, don't try to justify it.

I'm not against getting married or bearing children, but we must do it when we are ready for it—at least 70% ready, especially in the area of finances, knowledge and wisdom about parenting, etc.

My age clock doesn't matter as long as I'm not ready to welcome any child to this world. Let me even shock you, if I have a child at 60, most likely, I'll still be alive at 80, and that child will be 20. A quality 20 year old child that have everything to live a good life, including the wisdom to live alone at 20 [even if it's that worst, but I know at least the mom will be younger than me and would still be alive if I depart by 80] is better than a 40 year old man that's still struggling in life with inherited poverty. Mind you, the most or greatest problem of young people in Africa is poverty that they had inherited from their parents.

By the way, we can even take the case of Ned Nwoke and Regina Daniels for example. Regina gave birth to that child when the man was 62 (thereabout). Do you think that man won't see the child's 20th birthday? He will! Except it's not about health. How old is Tinubu? How old is OBJ, Buhari, etc.?

My brother, it's about money. These men are old and still walking strong and it wouldn't have made any difference if they had children when they were around 60. Don't forget many 20-year-olds are praying for a father like any of these old men. Even you talking would prefer a rich dad that uses walking stick than a strong one that's practically poor and irresponsible.

Look, someone must be ready to pay the price to end poverty in a family that's known for poverty. Someone must be ready to say, no, this evil of poverty won't continue in my own family, and the only way to go about that is to delay marriage/pregnancy, acquire knowledge, work hard on self and stand like a real human before beginning to raise a family—free from the shackles of lack.

Like I've said before, it's a choice. For me, I hate poverty so much and that's why I won't sit here and begin to make assumptions of what may happen in future or console myself using people's situation. I'm more concerned in what I can do to change things and not hoping in hope.

You have spoken well
But all human have different fate.

Thanks for your valid points though

samuelson06:
These are just excuses to console yourself. Don't worry about me bro. Let's be concerned about the quality that we all enjoy and what factors led to it.

There's nothing wrong if I wasn't born than being born into poverty. I'll lose nothing being in wherever I would've been. My parents didn't do any good to have brought me to world. They had unprotected sex when they were not supposed to that's why I came. If they had delayed, probably my siblings life or mine would've been better than the way we are today. So, don't try to justify it.

I'm not against getting married or bearing children, but we must do it when we are ready for it—at least 70% ready, especially in the area of finances, knowledge and wisdom about parenting, etc.

My age clock doesn't matter as long as I'm not ready to welcome any child to this world. Let me even shock you, if I have a child at 60, most likely, I'll still be alive at 80, and that child will be 20. A quality 20 year old child that have everything to live a good life, including the wisdom to live alone at 20 (even if it's that worst, but I know at least the mom will be younger than me and would still be alive if I depart by 80) is better than a 40 year old man that's still struggling in life with inherited poverty. Mind you, the most problem of young people in Africa is poverty that they had inherited from their parents.

By the way, we can even take the case of Ned Nwoke and Regina Daniels for example. Regina gave birth to that child when the man was 62 (thereabout). Do you think that man won't see the child's 20th birthday? I strongly doubt, except it's not about health. How old is Tinubu? How old is OBJ, Buhari, etc.?

My brother, it's about money. These men are old and still walking strong and it wouldn't have made any difference if they had children when they were around 60. Don't forget many 20-year-olds are praying for a father like any of these old men. Even you talking would prefer a rich dad that uses walking stick than a strong one that's practically poor and irresponsible.

Look, someone must be ready to pay the price to end poverty in a family that's known for poverty. Someone must be ready to say, no, this evil of poverty won't continue in my own family, and the only way to go about that is to delay marriage/pregnancy, acquire knowledge, work hard on self and stand like a real human before beginning to raise a family—free from the shackles of lack.

Like I've said before, it's a choice. For me, I hate poverty so much and that's why I won't sit here and begin to make assumptions of what may happen in future or console myself using people's situation. I'm more concerned in what I can do to change things and not hoping in hope.

Kingrshd3:
You have spoken well
But all human have different fate.

Thanks for your valid points though

You are welcome.

But... Don't believe in fate. Don't console yourself using superficial words. Believe in your plan and in what you can do to turn things around. No time is really late.

You may not really be able to do much for yourself again but you can start a process that will positively impact your children (born or unborn) and help them to live a more quality life.

Let's begin to move away from just living and focus on quality living even with the little that we may have.

LikeAking:
To build a product no easy, it would have been the best part.

Every body be forming, I sabi code, even the companies are confused.

Op u sure say u sabi front end well?

Can u create JS objects and work with them?

U sabi use apply, call n co?

U sabi use arrays?

How many loops u sabi use?

Can u return the highest score from this object?

let obj = {a:10,b:80,c:30,d:40,e:50,f:1,g:5}

Can you return the most reoccurring letter in this tex?

let txt = “My name is John Doe Amadi, I love humanity”

If doing all that you said above is the basics required of a front end developer, then it ain't an issue.

Abeg come be my mentor. Your comments are golden..

samuelson06:
No wahala bro. I only wish the young man would take it and run with his life.

Usually, I plead with young men around me to exercise a little restrain, fix themselves, and from there, they can go build a family.

All of us would have loved to finish with childbearing before we get to 40 or 42. I would've loved to do that, at least that's what is obtainable in first world countries. Even before 35, many of them are done with childbearing—two or three kids and they done. Before 40, you see their body recovering and the females will appear like they've not given birth before.

But here we are in a country that our leaders don't care about us; nothing works here. The few gains we made as a country, they've destroyed everything as we speak. Today, the once giant of Africa stands like a begger. Nigeria is practically begging for survival. As young people, and we have to understand this sad reality and adjust accordingly.

I come from a humble background so I've tasted poverty. Poverty has a sour and bitter taste. Its color is black, and once it draws you to itself, your life practically becomes like the black color, a dark night, and a nightmare. The taste of your life becomes sour and bitter, and everyone tries to distant themselves from you—not because they truly hate you, but because you have nothing to offer—nothing to offer yourself, nor your children. There and then, it becomes clear to you that your life is a waste. But you had the chance not to get here

Sometimes, I don't teach people how to lead a good life. I sit with them and talk about poverty and the moment they make up their mind to reject that demon, they become motivated to work—putting everything else aside and just fight to defeat that monster.

Being a Nigerian, I know this country so well and I know it may never change—at least, not in this generation. So, I seize every opportunity to talk to young people about ways they can fix their life independent of the support they ought to get from the government. The task may be enormous but it's surmountable. It requires patience, hardwork, consistency, focus, and determination to succeed.

You'll be wasting your time if you keep jumping from one hustle to another. It shows that you are not serious or you may be too in a hurry to make it. Let's take the poster here for example, he's invested some amount of time, money, and other resources into becoming a frontend developer and he's on his way to becoming an expert in that field. Sadly, he now feels he's been wasting his time choosing a path that doesn't work and now feels like throwing away the experience and momentum he's been gathering in the coding sphere.

If that happens, he's going to start all over again elsewhere. Meanwhile, they are people succeeding where he's running away from and all he needed was to build on what he's known already and keep forging ahead. When it comes to success, you don't do magic. You just have to find a way and keep building up the momentum and with time, even nature will bear witness with your spirit that you've done your best and it's time for you to be announced to the world.

I can keep talking and talking. There's a formula to succeeding even in a rough country like Nigeria, but you have to be serious. It's not a game of luck but hard work—putting first things first, and not giving up.

I wish all of us the best in 2024.

I sent you mail.. please regard it...

samuelson06:
Lol. There's nothing I hate like poverty. How can I sit and watch my children that can't even fight for themselves living in want? Many parents in Nigeria today can't even afford baby food let alone children toy.

I have a neighbor with two babies in a self-contain room. We are both paying rent. The wife takes care of the babies in the house while he works, but how much is he paid monthly? Peanut! Not even up to 200k. And he'll be bragging about having a son, when he's always timing to see when I leave the house so I can drop him off. Now, tell me, when is he going to leave behind such poverty? Where is the joy in raising the family? How can I live with two kids in a self-con, even if 1 or 2 bedroom flat sef, as long as it's rented? When am I going to build my own house and stop paying rent?

So, these are the issues. No be say we like to dey fornicate, but that's better than getting into a mess in the name of getting married or raising a family.

I was enjoying your previous comments but this particular one just shows that you are a small boy and don't know what life is about. Time will tell

samuelson06:
These are just excuses to console yourself. Don't worry about me bro. Let's be concerned about the quality of life that we all enjoy and what factors led to it.

There's nothing wrong if I wasn't born than being born into poverty. I'll lose nothing being in wherever I would've been. My parents didn't do any good to have brought me to world. They had unprotected sex when they were not supposed to that's why I came. If they had delayed, probably my siblings' life or mine would've been better than the way we are today. So, don't try to justify it.

I'm not against getting married or bearing children, but we must do it when we are ready for it—at least 70% ready, especially in the area of finances, knowledge and wisdom about parenting, etc.

My age clock doesn't matter as long as I'm not ready to welcome any child to this world. Let me even shock you, if I have a child at 60, most likely, I'll still be alive at 80, and that child will be 20. A quality 20 year old child that have everything to live a good life, including the wisdom to live alone at 20 [even if it's that worst, but I know at least the mom will be younger than me and would still be alive if I depart by 80] is better than a 40 year old man that's still struggling in life with inherited poverty. Mind you, the most or greatest problem of young people in Africa is poverty that they had inherited from their parents.

By the way, we can even take the case of Ned Nwoke and Regina Daniels for example. Regina gave birth to that child when the man was 62 (thereabout). Do you think that man won't see the child's 20th birthday? He will! Except it's not about health. How old is Tinubu? How old is OBJ, Buhari, etc.?

My brother, it's about money. These men are old and still walking strong and it wouldn't have made any difference if they had children when they were around 60. Don't forget many 20-year-olds are praying for a father like any of these old men. Even you talking would prefer a rich dad that uses walking stick than a strong one that's practically poor and irresponsible.

Look, someone must be ready to pay the price to end poverty in a family that's known for poverty. Someone must be ready to say, no, this evil of poverty won't continue in my own family, and the only way to go about that is to delay marriage/pregnancy, acquire knowledge, work hard on self and stand like a real human before beginning to raise a family—free from the shackles of lack.

Like I've said before, it's a choice. For me, I hate poverty so much and that's why I won't sit here and begin to make assumptions of what may happen in future or console myself using people's situation. I'm more concerned in what I can do to change things and not hoping in hope.