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My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out - Family - Nairaland

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My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by MsJackson: 3:37am On Jan 24
This is in reference to this my story
https://www.nairaland.com/7508796/sexual-molestation-minor

I stayed away from the family. I went to spend sometime with my mum around December of 2022. I returned from work one day and got my ears full when my mum told me that my daughter talked about the molestation case all day. Mum advised me to take her to my in-laws place for the matter to be resolved, but that I should call hubby to take permission. He granted it.
Only for me to get there and my father in-law was accusing me of cooking up the story in my daughter's mind. I refused to be wrongly accused. My father in-law said after all the girl that molested my daughter isn't a boy and that after all she didn't finger my daughter. Because I defended myself and my daughter, my parents inlaw chased me and my baby out of their house like a common criminal. I cried all the way to my mum's place. Called my husband, he told me he knows the kind of parents he had, and that I should try forget the issue.
I tried forgetting it and stayed away from them. I cut them off totally. That was the only way I could heal. It's not like any of my in-laws ever reached out to me even before and after my daughter was molested, I was always doing all the calling. After this incident, I locked up.
Now my husband threw my load out on January 13th. My offense? His mother sent us food and I failed to call her to say thank you.
That's my offense. I've been squatting with my daughter from one place to another. His father even called to warn their tenant not to allow me spend another night at their house, because me and my daughter spent one night with the only tenant in the compound when I had no place to go. The tenant consist of a father, mother and their daughter, nice people.
Me and hubby live in their family house, although hubby's parents don't live there, only us and one tenant.
I've cried and cried. Elders in my church have begged and begged. He is adamant, with the backing of his father. He even locked up the remaining of my property in the very dusty store close to the gate, including my molested daughter's clothes. I even met my laptop on the floor, he had removed it from his worn-out bag I was using to house the laptop. I was so livid and was shouting that why wasn't he patient enough to give me some days to gather some money at least to rent a room, but he was so adamant that he and his family wanted me out on the street immediately. Because I was shouting out of anger and frustration, he took a wood with nail on it to hit my hand. It took the intervention of these same tenant to avert beating I would have received. This is a man I've sacrificed alot for, 10 years gone, just like that. My daughter and I are out on the street, squatting with a church member, without a dime.
And I have just heard from a neighbour that a new girl is coming to spend time in my own home, even helping him to rearrange it. I'm still in total shock and don't know what to do.
PLEASE I NEED A JOB before I lose my sanity. I live around Sango OTA.
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by ValCon888: 3:44am On Jan 24
It's heart wrenching this happened to you. I read your previous story, and for me, I felt the police needed to be involved.

It baffles me why your husband's family were shielding the girl. They were protecting, instead of correcting a delinquent 15year old.

Alas, they have turned your husband against you. Because, it's a flimsy reason for him to throw you out because of failure to greet.

Your child needs stability at this moment so go back to your parents house and start from there rather than squatting from place to place.

In all of this, you are also partly at fault. You had no job or means of income and you decided to fight your father-inlaw who provides housing for your husband.

You needed a job 10years ago, not now when you're on the streets with a daughter to feed, and without a dime to your name.

This is why wifes need to have something doing instead of depending on a husband. So that you can stand on your two feet when things go south.

11 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Creamypie(m): 4:05am On Jan 24
Sad report, but if na delta you dey, work for dey and.average one average pay
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Peakdesign23(m): 4:08am On Jan 24
Some men are the worst! If this is so true, find your balance ma’am. There are still good men out there. This phase will be over. I believe he has his own part of the story to tell.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Mokason288(m): 4:12am On Jan 24
I don’t know if it’s only me ooo… buh I always have a feeling that virtually all this stories on NL are fictional and a badly written story…

Buh if’s it’s true and real story… I would say you’re not a good woman/wife … I read in between the lines you left out a lot in your posts, both the previous and recent one

You need Gods help you sound immature

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Kobojunkie: 4:23am On Jan 24
MsJackson:
...Because I was shouting out of anger and frustration, he took a wood with nail on it to hit my hand. It took the intervention of these same tenant to avert beating I would have received. This is a man I've sacrificed alot for, 10 years gone, just like that. My daughter and I are out on the street, squatting with a church member, without a dime.
And I have just heard from a neighbour that a new girl is coming to spend time in my own home, even helping him to rearrange it. I'm still in total shock and don't know what to do.
PLEASE I NEED A JOB before I lose my sanity. I live around Sango OTA.
Please find a way to first go back home to your parents. Settle yourself and your daughter and then go out to look for employment as soon as you can. Afterward, consider filing for divorce and child support through the courts as well, when you are ready of course. undecided

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by eniolorunfe: 4:34am On Jan 24
And some people will be asking why some women choose their careers. It’s to avert situations like this. Imagine investing 10 years in a solid career, things would have been way different.

@op, it’s well with you and your daughter.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Namaster: 5:30am On Jan 24
You married into a DEMONIC family. Added to that, your husband is EXTREMELY useless.

A man who REFUSES to protect his little kid when it's within his power to do so is WORTHLESS.

YOUR NEXT COURSE OF ACTION

1. Reach out to NGOs and humanitarian organizations in your state. Also, see if you can reach out to the Minister of Women Affairs in your state since your USELESS husband is basically abusing you for standing up for your daughter.

2. Get help to file for divorce ASAP.

3. Let the NGOs/Ministry know that you want to prosecute the case to the full extent of the law. It's possible that your DEMONIC in-laws and husband could be charged with accessory or something like that.

4. Call and record the criminals admitting the fact that they're trying to cover up the crime against your daughter or their knowledge of the crime.

5. Keep looking for job.

I detest people who hurt kids.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Ahmed0336(m): 5:44am On Jan 24
angry
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by DenreleDave(m): 5:51am On Jan 24
You seem like the type that has a very sharp mouth with bad attitude...... Your mouth is very troublesome and destructive..
You have been told to let go as it is within the family and such won't repeat itself again but bcox of your troublesome nature, u no just gree

You are only talking from one side of the story and not the full picture..


But your husband should not have left his daughter like this? African men behave badly and when they grow old, they want the kids they maltreated to take care of them...

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Goalnaldo(m): 5:58am On Jan 24
I'm looking for a second hand wife to marry as Una no dey too cost. Hope your body is still inform and your ass soft?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Rexymania(m): 6:34am On Jan 24
Would like to hear from your husband. No smoke without fire
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by oneda(m): 6:38am On Jan 24
So many on your first post adviced you to forget it but take good care of your daughter. You didn't take those advice and now you and your girl are in the street.
My advice now is: you're already down so fight to your last. Regroup, find a job stabilize and then fight them with everything.
Involve human rights and social media. Make it go viral and trend. Get their pictures out there and make them famous. You won't even get anything outa thís because the 15 year old won't be jailed or something
Your second option is to forget it and focus on improving your condition now

1 Like

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by KingLennon(m): 6:53am On Jan 24
Goalnaldo:
I'm looking for a second hand wife to marry as Una no dey too cost. Hope your body is still inform and your ass soft?
This country is making some people develop underlying mental problems sad. God abeg o

1 Like

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Seunpapa65: 8:06am On Jan 24
This is too crazy to believe I don't know if it's really real
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Mindlog: 8:19am On Jan 24
Go back home to your family and restart life from there.
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by pdabiri: 8:31am On Jan 24
There was a confrontation between you two regarding that call, hubby got mad , felt disrespected and of course instead of you to back down, you carried on, daring him to do his worst. I have always said this and its the only marital advise I give, LEARN TO OVERLOOK LITTLE THINGS in order to have PEACE OF MIND, it wouldn't have cost you a thing to call and say "mummy thank you". And it doesn't stop you from having your reservations about her. And please note that am not calling the molestation LITTLE, it's the call. From the attitude you have exhibited , it means even when you see her outside you won't GREET her. No partner will take that.

My wife doesn't like my sister, my sister doesn't like my wife, when we go for our annual family reunion, both of them learn to put on that fake smiles and would definitely exchange pleasantries, after the function they go back hating each other. SIMPLE!

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Marvel1206: 8:44am On Jan 24
This is crazy. Isn't your husband meant to support you? Is there another story? Because I'm shocked your husband would act this way. Sorry you're going through this, just hang in there
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by NoToPile: 8:47am On Jan 24
It's the hypocrisy in some Nigerian marriages and inlaw relations.

It's never ever fair to the woman a lot of times, your child was molested in their care and you handled your pain the best way you could by shutting them off and they still ganged up against you for it.

I bet if it was your own niece who did that to your daughter all hell would have been loose. The same inlaws and hubby would have your head and that of your niece on the platter. You can see them up there in the posts above telling you you should have forgotten about it, you are not a good wife blehbeleh bleh.
It's the way it is.

Your husband never loved you and by extension his daughter. His family comes first even before his own daughter.

Just move on.


Nowadays there's nothing like children holidaying with anybody now inlaw or not.

Let them call you a bad wife, good, wives are always bad in everybody's eyes.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by ShinjaWWest: 9:01am On Jan 24
Don't Blv every woman story 👌

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by dominique(f): 9:29am On Jan 24
DenreleDave:
You seem like the type that has a very sharp mouth with bad attitude...... Your mouth is very troublesome and destructive..
You have been told to let go as it is within the family and such won't repeat itself again but bcox of your troublesome nature, u no just gree

You are only talking from one side of the story and not the full picture..

But your husband should not have left his daughter like this? African men behave badly and when they grow old, they want the kids they maltreated to take care of them...

Let child molestation go and keep it in the family?

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by obinna58(m): 9:34am On Jan 24
The story get k leg
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by emmeyen: 10:00am On Jan 24
If this is true, just get on your knees, fast and pray first for deliverance of your daughter. Pray for strength too. And pray for your husband. Trust me, it's not ordinary. Your husband has been manipulated and before you know, another woman will get pregnant before his eyes will open. Your in-law actually wants you to fight this battle alone because they know with your husband by your side, you will win. Forget about them and just concentrate on your daughter's recovery as well as yourself. Marriage is deep. The worse that can happen to anybody is to come from a manipulative family. Stop the talk! Go spiritual before you lose everything. Fast and pray

1 Like

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by muller101(m): 10:06am On Jan 24
All those who advice you back then to fight back. Where are they now. It would have been easy if you had your In-laws backing. You got to go back to your family pending when you can stabilize. Look for a job now is a no. You will so make thousands of mistakes that will get you fired eventually. Your heart and mind isn't together at the moment.
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by emmeyen: 10:07am On Jan 24
dominique:


Let child molestation go and keep it in the family?

Anything to blame the woman for the wickedness unleashed to her and her daughter. More like, telling her it's her fault that her husband kicked her out. Who knows if the mother herself was abused as a child and is fighting so the same thing doesn't play out in the life of her daughter. But she is being made to look stupid and dramatic by the family of the man with who she took the vow of "for better for worse". No wonder women keep quiet when their daughters are molested because the act is trivialised and tagged as "a small thing". When that child becomes a lesbian tomorrow, she becomes labelled and booed. The society is just bleeped up gaskia.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by SIXFEETUNDER: 10:11am On Jan 24
Hire boys and tell them to beat your husband blue and black



Seize the house from him




Bonus: threaten to cute his preek if he nears you
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by dominique(f): 11:07am On Jan 24
That's why women should always adhere to this popular saying, a bad spouse is manageable but bad in-laws na die o. The in-laws can still call the husband to order if they like you but if they don't like you, they will join the husband to frustrate you.

@op, you should have started making your exit plan after seeing the way your husband's people treated your child's sexual assault. I know husbands and inlaws like this like to isolate wives from her people so they can treat her anyhow and she won't have anywhere to turn but now is the time to swallow your pride, bury your shame and go back to your family for the sake of your daughter. A marriage where your well being and that of your daughter are not regarded is not worth fighting for

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by joinnow: 12:23pm On Jan 24
MsJackson:
This is in reference to this my story
https://www.nairaland.com/7508796/sexual-molestation-minor

I stayed away from the family. I went to spend sometime with my mum around December of 2022. I returned from work one day and got my ears full when my mum told me that my daughter talked about the molestation case all day. Mum advised me to take her to my in-laws place for the matter to be resolved, but that I should call hubby to take permission. He granted it.
Only for me to get there and my father in-law was accusing me of cooking up the story in my daughter's mind. I refused to be wrongly accused. My father in-law said after all the girl that molested my daughter isn't a boy and that after all she didn't finger my daughter. Because I defended myself and my daughter, my parents inlaw chased me and my baby out of their house like a common criminal. I cried all the way to my mum's place. Called my husband, he told me he knows the kind of parents he had, and that I should try forget the issue.
I tried forgetting it and stayed away from them. I cut them off totally. That was the only way I could heal. It's not like any of my in-laws ever reached out to me even before and after my daughter was molested, I was always doing all the calling. After this incident, I locked up.
Now my husband threw my load out on January 13th. My offense? His mother sent us food and I failed to call her to say thank you.
That's my offense. I've been squatting with my daughter from one place to another. His father even called to warn their tenant not to allow me spend another night at their house, because me and my daughter spent one night with the only tenant in the compound when I had no place to go. The tenant consist of a father, mother and their daughter, nice people.
Me and hubby live in their family house, although hubby's parents don't live there, only us and one tenant.
I've cried and cried. Elders in my church have begged and begged. He is adamant, with the backing of his father. He even locked up the remaining of my property in the very dusty store close to the gate, including my molested daughter's clothes. I even met my laptop on the floor, he had removed it from his worn-out bag I was using to house the laptop. I was so livid and was shouting that why wasn't he patient enough to give me some days to gather some money at least to rent a room, but he was so adamant that he and his family wanted me out on the street immediately. Because I was shouting out of anger and frustration, he took a wood with nail on it to hit my hand. It took the intervention of these same tenant to avert beating I would have received. This is a man I've sacrificed alot for, 10 years gone, just like that. My daughter and I are out on the street, squatting with a church member, without a dime.
And I have just heard from a neighbour that a new girl is coming to spend time in my own home, even helping him to rearrange it. I'm still in total shock and don't know what to do.
PLEASE I NEED A JOB before I lose my sanity. I live around Sango OTA.
I won't judge from one party only but if what you just said is truth and nothing but the truth. Google justicecourttv on their YouTube page click more you will see their WhatsApp number call them. It's free.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by Gaspardd(m): 1:31pm On Jan 24
1. No gree for anybody no gree for anybody...now see where we dey

2. It's now u re looking for a job, what have you been doing all these years?

3. If after 10yrs of marriage and u still don't learn how to overlook things beyond your power or listen to your husband then what have you learnt?. What kind of woman/wife re you?

4. Any time I look at my sisters or close babes...I just shake my head for them cuz I always wonder what type of man they would meet in future.
We have many dancing monkey idiots in man's clothing running around acting nice in disguise but lack Sense common to common people.

4. I don't keep friends but Im keeping this my lawyer friend should in case the need arises. Nobody would mess with my sisters or daughters and goes scot-free.
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by neonly: 2:56pm On Jan 24
One sided story waiting to hear from d other side before conclusion
Women are very good in manipulating
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by TheWinterBird(f): 6:48pm On Jan 24
Hmmm, na wa ooo
Re: My Husband Of 10 Years Threw Me Out by being(m): 8:21pm On Jan 24
DenreleDave:
You seem like the type that has a very sharp mouth with bad attitude...... Your mouth is very troublesome and destructive..
You have been told to let go as it is within the family and such won't repeat itself again but bcox of your troublesome nature, u no just gree

You are only talking from one side of the story and not the full picture..


But your husband should not have left his daughter like this? African men behave badly and when they grow old, they want the kids they maltreated to take care of them...
David shut up!! Hw can u pour pepper on the injury of the victim? Are u this insensitive? Even if she has any fault which I can't see, can't u see the overall 99% fault is from the in laws and are bewitched husband!
D 15yo is a granddaughter just like the 4yo.. why punish the 4yo for the wrong doing of the 15yo instead of disciplining her and praying for her to change?
The lady for now needs a job to take care of her daughter.. i would advise her not to be vengeful against the family or her husband... Just leave them and try to find your feet. And the interesting thing is d unwise husband will surely come back for the daughter at least at some point in time.

1 Like

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