Mm

Yes. Because she came there to love her husband and kids. Not anybody else. Some in-laws you try with them and all of a sudden they start interfering in your home and want to tear it down. If you don’t fight back and keep distance they will almost ruin you mentally. They do not appreciate being treated well.

A lot of people don’t understand boundaries and they think nice people are to be taken advantage of. If your family is nice to that woman I am not sure she would be fighting.

Some of you pack witch and mad woman full house. Then you let them rubbish your wife only to turn around and blame her when she does not allow it to cover that the people in your family are mad.

Husband's don't even see their wife as family, their own blood family comes first.

Husband's relatives don't see the wife as family she's an outsider.

Wife doesn't see the husband's family as family.

Husband doesn't see the wife's family as family.


It's a cycle in some Nigerian marriages.

It depends on the initial relationship between her and the husband family members

But las las you’re married to him, not his family

NoToPile:
Husband's don't even see their wife as family, their own blood family comes first.

Husband's relatives don't see the wife as family she's an outsider.

Wife doesn't see the husband's family as family.

Husband doesn't see the wife's family as family.


It's a cycle in some Nigerian marriages.

I wonder why they are always obsessed with the woman loving his family when majority of Nigerian men do not call their in-laws in 500 years.

There was a thread saying your wife's family are not your "friends". You should have seen the comments from our resident males.

MisterBanny:
I always kept wondering about this. I have seen many homes break as a result of marrying a woman who despises her In-laws, and treats them with levity and disdain, yet claims to love her husband genuinely.
A once happy family could be in total disarray immediately some women get into that family.
Personally, I think if u love your husband, such love should be extended to every member of his nuclear and extended family members and same goes to the Man. I believe that genuine LOVE is infectious and contagious. I have seen a lot happening In today's marriages that I'm already scared of getting married. People can pretend throughout the dating and courting period, but immediately after the wedding, the beast and monster in them begin to Manifest. It's scary.

Almost all married woman are guilty of this. But the men almost do not have any issue with Loving their wive's families.
It even gets to the ugly point that, the wife makes a decree that no menmber of the man's family must ever visit them to stay for more than a day or two.

love and respect goes hand in hand. The fact that your wife disdains your family means she does not respect them and by extension she cannot love them. Now back to you, if she doesn't respect or love your family and claims to love you then in actual sense what she loves is the services you are rendering. If you are not a provider she will extend that disdain to you

Klass99:


To give you back hand slap through my phone dey sweet me ehn.......too bad I can't do it. Let me try and break it down for you as best as I can. Women have an innate gift called female intuition, we can sense and see things from miles away that men are usually unable to sense or see.

We can often see the selfish and entitled mentality of your siblings/relatives, where most only know how to take and receive, never giving back anything in return. They are essentially parasitic in nature like that insect that gums itself to a dog's skin, sucking the blood out of it, then it falls off when it is full.

Once a man is rich or doing well his relatives buzz around him like bees to honey, they don't want to work or make a success of their own lives, in their shallow minds, their brother has money na so he should help them. That is when they carry blood is thicker than water on their heads like die! Let that same man fall critically ill, you will see all those siblings/relatives disappear into thin air, abandoning him to his wife and kids alone, to be taken care of. If the man is lucky they may visit him once or twice in the hospital.

The question I always ask is this - are your relatives' hands broken or are their brains malfunctioning that they cannot strive to make something of their own lives? Must they gum body to the one successful relative in the family for their existence and survival? There is nothing wrong with helping out your relatives, but when you carry their matter on your head like gala, you repeatedly allow them take advantage of you or disrespect your wife, and your wife and kids suffer, there is everything wrong with you and your relatives.

Women tend to see these things and when we try to shield you as wives from the parasitic pack of wolves you call family, you claim we hate your relatives and we are the ones causing division amongst you. No sir, it is not us but rather your selfish relatives who want to constantly use you as a meal ticket in this life, not caring if you have a new family of your own to take care of.

And when you die they all disappear not caring if you have kids who may need help in your perpetual absence due to death. They don't remember that blood is thicker than water, and they ought to help your children oooo. Why is this even a topic of discussion in 2024? Most of you (men) grew up in households like the one I described, where you saw your father's relatives disrespect him and your mothers, they took advantage and often behaved any how in your father's house. But somehow you still manage to spin it around as being the woman's fault.

Bullshiit!!!

MisterBanny:



Lol.. your so funny. Pls can I have ur number?

*Sighs*

Not again, mudafucker!!!

baby124:
Yes. Because she came there to love her husband and kids. Not anybody else. Some in-laws you try with them and all of a sudden they start interfering in your home and want to tear it down. If you don’t fight back and keep distance they will almost ruin you mentally. They do not appreciate being treated well.

A lot of people don’t understand boundaries and they think nice people are to be taken advantage of. If your family is nice to that woman I am not sure she would be fighting.

Some of you pack witch and mad woman full house. Then you let them rubbish your wife only to turn around and blame her when she does not allow it to cover that the people in your family are mad.

Bla bla blaaaaaaaa

First, not almost all married women hate husband family. I have seen more than enough wives that love their husbands families, infact, almost more than their own husbands.

Just like few Marriage failures that always overshadowed several successful MARRIAGES, few wives that hate inlaws, people do project such scenarios as if, all women hate husband' family.


Secondly, 70% of wives that hate husband family, caused by the husbands.

Many of the HUSBANDS treat their own family with disdain, wen u don't treat ur own family with respect, what are u expecting from stranger?

Lastly,woman is like a kid, how you want her to relate and behave, either with u, or with ur family, is largely dependent on you, and u must enforce it from "very very very" beginning, having succeeded in doing that, I think u have reduced Marriage failure by 70%.

Yes

Na wertin dey break many homes be that
Most women want the husband to love them and their family but abandone his own family for theirs....
.
First wahalaaaaaa loading...
If you be woman and you dey reason like this
You go get problem in the future ooooooo
If not immediate.....

Na matter of time
Let the man love his wife family members and vice versa, but avoid unnecessary inference from both at the same time.

You said the absolute truth in about 80 _90 percent of women.recently a wife ordered that if her husband,s mom comes visits them,she will go stay in her father's house,the man should choose either the mom comes or she stay in her father,s house till the mom goes.
Hey,any man who accepts such rubbish orders from the wife is a fool.maybe it's the woman that married the man .complete fool.
Even if after giving birth to children and comes up with such rubbish.sorry for you,another woman will take your place.thy place let another take

No sane woman would love the husband minus his family if they are good and accommodating.

After devil na woman

luminouz:

Bla bla blaaaaaaaa

She is quite right. She is probably writing from experience.

Cassandraloius:
It's very possible, cos most women tend to change after marriage, they will unveil their true colors.

Sometimes the in-laws tend to give her that negative energy and she returns it back with full force.😂

Not possible. You can't say you love a man and not love his immediate family.

MisterBanny:
I always kept wondering about this. I have seen many homes break as a result of marrying a woman who despises her In-laws, and treats them with levity and disdain, yet claims to love her husband genuinely.
A once happy family could be in total disarray immediately some women get into that family.
Personally, I think if u love your husband, such love should be extended to every member of his nuclear and extended family members and same goes to the Man. I believe that genuine LOVE is infectious and contagious. I have seen a lot happening In today's marriages that I'm already scared of getting married. People can pretend throughout the dating and courting period, but immediately after the wedding, the beast and monster in them begin to Manifest. It's scary.

Almost all married woman are guilty of this. But the men almost do not have any issue with Loving their wive's families.
It even gets to the ugly point that, the wife makes a decree that no menmber of the man's family must ever visit them to stay for more than a day or two.

Women don't actually understand what love means. Although, they use the word most often, it is all deceptive move to grasp as much as possible.
one who doesn't understand love can not be expected to love!

MisterBanny:
I always kept wondering about this. I have seen many homes break as a result of marrying a woman who despises her In-laws, and treats them with levity and disdain, yet claims to love her husband genuinely.
A once happy family could be in total disarray immediately some women get into that family.
Personally, I think if u love your husband, such love should be extended to every member of his nuclear and extended family members and same goes to the Man. I believe that genuine LOVE is infectious and contagious. I have seen a lot happening In today's marriages that I'm already scared of getting married. People can pretend throughout the dating and courting period, but immediately after the wedding, the beast and monster in them begin to Manifest. It's scary.

Almost all married woman are guilty of this. But the men almost do not have any issue with Loving their wive's families.
It even gets to the ugly point that, the wife makes a decree that no menmber of the man's family must ever visit them to stay for more than a day or two.

My brother, that's the way women are generally wired. They are territorial after marriage. Na you go use your own wisdom bring peace. It's not a new thing. Family members too can be quite wicked and unreasonable. Protect your home but don't let your wife totally drag you away from family. Women generally want space with their husbands and kids so it shouldn't be strange to you. Don't favor her family over yours cos that would be a big mistake. Whatever rules you set in your home should also apply to her family as well. If she's not okay with it then you'll know you have married a bad wife. You're the head of the house, run your home with authority

Juliearth:
Can a family love their son and not extend same to the wife?

I keep wondering 🤔

Women are very selfish and greedy when it comes to love. They want a mans love all to themselves and no one else.
Bottomline: avoid women if u can!

The love stems from respect.
Most men are respected by the womans family, and are treated accordingly.

A lot of women face automatic disrespect and condescension from the mans family. They heap a lot of unrealistic expectations from the woman and in many cases, continually treat her like an outsider.
You cannot love people who don't treat you well.

Welcome a lady into your family. Make her feel comfortable and loved. Get to know her as a person and wish that your son/brothers marriage succeeds.
She is not an automatic housemaid or house servant.

pocohantas:


I wonder why they are always obsessed with the woman loving his family when majority of Nigerian men do not call their in-laws in 500 years.

There was a thread saying your wife's family are not your "friends". You should have seen the comments from our resident males.

It's a give and take situation, you can't claim your wife is not your blood, hate her family and expect her to love yours.

Also your family can't be oozing hatred towards the wife and expect her to love them. Respect them she will because she wants to keep her marriage but that love can not happen.

We are humans, we will always react subconsciously.



My cousin's wife saw hell from my other older female cousins you know when females with one rich brother gang up against a wife, then they labeled her a bad wife, transferred their hatred even to the children.


Incidentally the same 'bad wife' loves me and my mum like mad always asking when we would come visit but she was always dreading their own visit.


The day she narrated to me all what they did to her she broke down in tears, this woman is about 20years older than me.

Years have passed but the crack has not been mended their children are all in the uni now but the crack is still there.


Wife-inlaw relationships needs a lot of improvement in Naija, some families are getting it right though.

Until you as an inlaw sees that wife as a daughter or a new sister and that husband as a son or a brother. Things won't get better.

JASONjnr:


This isn't just enough, most ladies will agree to whatever terms you give them before marriage. But will try to persuade you to come to side her views against your family members.

It's always a gradual process before you know it, you and your mama go begin shout at each other.

True!

Most importantly,note,the woman,s brothers wife's,will also treat their own parents same way they treat the parents inlaws.simple

Juliearth:
Can a family love their son and not extend same to the wife?

Good question

DiskJokeyManic:
I no fit carry woman wey no love my family come house...... I dey mad?😐😐😐😐😐 De ones wey dey love deir husband/fiance family get 2 heads?

Rubbish😐

Make your family self love your wife too oo

I have a sister like that, very painful anytime I see her

Some families are unloveable

Cassandraloius:
It's very possible, cos most women tend to change after marriage, they will unveil their true colors.

Sometimes the in-laws tend to give her that negative energy and she returns it back with full force.😂

People don't change after marriage, they become real. The change happens before not after.

Ishilove:
Some families are unloveable

Everyone except the husband?

Resetinc:
It depends on the initial relationship between her and the husband family members

But las las you’re married to him, not his family

By African culture, you are married into a new family.

In SW and SS, a traditional wife will call all her in-laws, boys, girls, old and young "my husband".

We first need to define how we want it. To be Africans or Westerners. We must decide.

@ MisterBanny

The truth is, a woman only loves her kids. The hubby is the vehicle to achieve her plans and tick the married box.

Remember that a woman marries the guy who seeks her out (at least the guy likes her enough to pick her), not the guy she would have liked. Yes, she can refuse but genuine and serious options are limited. So marrying a man does not mean she loves him. More men love their wives than the reverse. Doing wifely duties as custom demands is not equal to love.

Hubby's family members are by and large mere background noise and nuisance to most women. To avoid, if possible.

A wise lady knows that a guy loves his parents, so she treats her in-laws right to please him. That's it.