₦airaland Forum

LilMissFavvy:
They handed her over to the husband as a wife, not a slave. He has no right to frustrate her and stop her from visiting her people.

Maybe you are not a Christian but even in Islam it is worse......

AS FAR AS AFRICAN MARRIAGES ARE CONCERNED........... the woman is the property of the man... IT IS NOT AN OPINION... if you like call it slavery but you can not select what part of authority you want to enjoy.

IT IS CALLED BRIDE PRICE FOR A REASON AND NOT BRIBE PRICE.

Have sense so you can marry well with the right perspective.


YOU CAN'T MARRY AND THINK YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO DO AS YOU WERE DOING AS A SINGLE.

Acidosis:
Hmm

Oya, come talk your mind. 😋

Statistically it’s more likely this concocted story time is about a typical controlling man who think he owns his wife rather than a pregnant woman whose family suddenly want her to make a long journey when she’s almost about to give birth.

cococandy:
Statistically it’s more likely this concocted story time is about a typical controlling man who think he owns his wife rather than a pregnant woman whose family suddenly want her to make a long journey when she’s almost about to give birth.

Hmm, okay. I see your point.

Acidosis:
Add wetin you wan add, boss.

Like I mentioned: "if that conversation ever....," meaning there are instances where you advise (not ban) her to stay back or postpone her visit due to 1, 2...3 reasons.

Am I married? Yes.

Ever had this situation in my home? Oh, yes. Even my personal travel plan, we've had to cancel it together at some point because I don't have money for ransom. It's a non-issue, where there is peace and understanding.

I don't want to ignore you despite that you're married.
We're talking about travelling abroad here! With the way Nigeria economy is! There is too much at stake for the man if he agree to wife's travelling abroad. I don't want to say much.

maasoap:
I don't want to ignore you despite that you're married.
We're talking about travelling abroad here! With the way Nigeria economy is! There is too much at stake for the man if he agree to wife's travelling abroad. I don't want to say much.

Relocation is a big deal. That conversation is between you both, not extended families or pastors. The party involved would have to disagree to agree.

slaawomirr:
Damnnn niggar
Isoright

Just remove that pastors that sees blah blah shit

And add weed and yahoo yahoo abi 🙄

Yeye dey smell

MVLOX:
RESPECT is not gained by merely ordering someone to respect you. You must earn respect by how you speak and act and by what you are.

This is illustrated in the case of Christ Jesus. He gained respect as a teacher by his manner of teaching. After his Sermon on the Mount “the effect was that the crowds were astounded at his way of teaching.” What earned him this respect? His relying on God’s word the Bible instead of the opinions of other men. His sole authority was Jehovah God and His word of truth. Jesus gained respect from both friend and foe, by earning it.—Matthew 7:28, 29; 15:1-9; John 7:32, 45, 46.

“The wife should have deep respect for her husband,” is the instruction given at Ephesians 5:33. But the husband should be diligent to merit this respect; otherwise, it will be very difficult for his wife to comply with this instruction. How can a husband fulfill his role as outlined in the Bible so as to gain such respect?

The Bible assigns the husband to a position of headship in the marriage arrangement, saying: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24) Will this arrangement really contribute to happiness in the household? Some women speak out against what they describe as male chauvinism, that is, a vainglorious or exaggerated view that some men have toward their position in relation to women. But let us say at the outset that the teachings of the Bible do not endorse such male chauvinism.

The Bible emphasizes the fact that, not only the woman, but also the man is under headship. Turning to the Bible book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3, we find that the apostle Paul wrote these words to the congregation at Corinth: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.” Man has Christ as his head, and it is from God and Christ as examples and teachers that you, the husband, are to learn how headship is to be exercised.

Jehovah’s headship over Christ was exercised in loving-kindness, and Christ’s response was, “To do your will, O my God, I have delighted.” (Psalm 40:8; Hebrews 10:7) Jesus Christ’s headship, too, is loving. To those who would become his disciples he said: “I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Those who are members of his congregation, which the Scriptures liken to a bride, have indeed found such refreshment under his headship. He has not exploited them, but has been self-sacrificing in his love. This also is the kind of headship the husband is to exercise over his wife: “Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation . . . let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-29, 33) If you set the example of submission to the headship of Christ, it will not be a difficult thing—in fact, it can be a pleasure—for your wife to have deep respect for your headship as her husband.

The great problem is that due to imperfection and inborn selfishness there are times when a husband, while wanting to be respected as the head of the family, fails to show the needed love and consideration for his wife. Often a wife will say that she doesn’t feel loved by her husband, that his only concern is his own pleasure and satisfaction. Also, some wives complain that their husbands are domineering. Perhaps this has resulted from the wife’s attempts to usurp his headship, with his resisting such usurpation. Or, the man may have grown up in an environment where many husbands are arrogant and domineering. Regardless of the cause, such abuse of headship gains the respect of no one.

On the other hand, instead of abusing headship, some husbands abdicate it. They pass all the decision-making over to their wives. Or, while telling the wife ‘not to rush them,’ they procrastinate so much that family interests suffer. They may not be lazy or idle physically, but if they shy away from mental effort the results can be the same as those described in Proverbs 24:33, 34: “‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,’ and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.“—Revised Standard Version.

You will gain respect from your wife if you show yourself steady and strong and able to make decisions. But that does not mean that no one else in the household is to be consulted or that your wife’s opinion is not to be given serious consideration just because it does not happen to agree with yours. Early in the Bible record we read about a serious problem in the household of Abraham and Sarah, involving their son Isaac and the son of their servant girl Hagar. Sarah recommended a solution that did not coincide with Abraham’s feelings on the matter. But God told Abraham: “Listen to her voice.”—Genesis 21:9-12.

We are not to conclude from this that a husband should always accede to his wife’s wishes. But it can be beneficial to discuss with her those decisions that affect the family, encouraging her to express her thoughts and feelings freely. Keep open the lines of communication, always be approachable, and weigh carefully her preferences in the decisions you make. Never be bossy or tyrannical in exercising headship, but manifest humility. You are not perfect, you will make mistakes, and when you do, you will want your wife’s understanding. When those situations arise, the wife whose husband is humble will find it easier to respect his headship than will one whose mate is proud.

Thank you. Now the message is balanced.

MVLOX:
RESPECT is not gained by merely ordering someone to respect you. You must earn respect by how you speak and act and by what you are.
This is illustrated in the case of Christ Jesus. He gained respect as a teacher by his manner of teaching. After his Sermon on the Mount “the effect was that the crowds were astounded at his way of teaching.” What earned him this respect? His relying on God’s word the Bible instead of the opinions of other men. His sole authority was Jehovah God and His word of truth. Jesus gained respect from both friend and foe, by earning it.—Matthew 7:28, 29; 15:1-9; John 7:32, 45, 46.
“The wife should have deep respect for her husband,” is the instruction given at Ephesians 5:33. But the husband should be diligent to merit this respect; otherwise, it will be very difficult for his wife to comply with this instruction. How can a husband fulfill his role as outlined in the Bible so as to gain such respect?
The Bible assigns the husband to a position of headship in the marriage arrangement, saying: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24) Will this arrangement really contribute to happiness in the household? Some women speak out against what they describe as male chauvinism, that is, a vainglorious or exaggerated view that some men have toward their position in relation to women. But let us say at the outset that the teachings of the Bible do not endorse such male chauvinism.
The Bible emphasizes the fact that, not only the woman, but also the man is under headship. Turning to the Bible book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3, we find that the apostle Paul wrote these words to the congregation at Corinth: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.” Man has Christ as his head, and it is from God and Christ as examples and teachers that you, the husband, are to learn how headship is to be exercised
Jehovah’s headship over Christ was exercised in loving-kindness, and Christ’s response was, “To do your will, O my God, I have delighted.” (Psalm 40:8; Hebrews 10:7) Jesus Christ’s headship, too, is loving. To those who would become his disciples he said: “I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Those who are members of his congregation, which the Scriptures liken to a bride, have indeed found such refreshment under his headship. He has not exploited them, but has been self-sacrificing in his love. This also is the kind of headship the husband is to exercise over his wife: “Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation . . . let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-29, 33) If you set the example of submission to the headship of Christ, it will not be a difficult thing—in fact, it can be a pleasure—for your wife to have deep respect for your headship as her husband.
The great problem is that due to imperfection and inborn selfishness there are times when a husband, while wanting to be respected as the head of the family, fails to show the needed love and consideration for his wife. Often a wife will say that she doesn’t feel loved by her husband, that his only concern is his own pleasure and satisfaction. Also, some wives complain that their husbands are domineering. Perhaps this has resulted from the wife’s attempts to usurp his headship, with his resisting such usurpation. Or, the man may have grown up in an environment where many husbands are arrogant and domineering. Regardless of the cause, such abuse of headship gains the respect of no one.

On the other hand, instead of abusing headship, some husbands abdicate it. They pass all the decision-making over to their wives. Or, while telling the wife ‘not to rush them,’ they procrastinate so much that family interests suffer. They may not be lazy or idle physically, but if they shy away from mental effort the results can be the same as those described in Proverbs 24:33, 34: “‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,’ and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.“—Revised Standard Version.
You will gain respect from your wife if you show yourself steady and strong and able to make decisions. But that does not mean that no one else in the household is to be consulted or that your wife’s opinion is not to be given serious consideration just because it does not happen to agree with yours. Early in the Bible record we read about a serious problem in the household of Abraham and Sarah, involving their son Isaac and the son of their servant girl Hagar. Sarah recommended a solution that did not coincide with Abraham’s feelings on the matter. But God told Abraham: “Listen to her voice.”—Genesis 21:9-12.
We are not to conclude from this that a husband should always accede to his wife’s wishes. But it can be beneficial to discuss with her those decisions that affect the family, encouraging her to express her thoughts and feelings freely. Keep open the lines of communication, always be approachable, and weigh carefully her preferences in the decisions you make. Never be bossy or tyrannical in exercising headship, but manifest humility. You are not perfect, you will make mistakes, and when you do, you will want your wife’s understanding. When those situations arise, the wife whose husband is humble will find it easier to respect his headship than will one whose mate is proud.

This is all bullsheet and you know it. Not once did Jesus Christ who instead said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God say anything regarding the woman in marriage or the place of a man in your marriage. But I highly doubt your kind care since your many mentions of the person of Christ are all to maintain your egos over others here on earth.

Apart from the opinions of Paul and maybe Peter, opinions removed from that declared by Jesus Christ Himself, none of the other passages you conveniently lifted out of context in order to assert a meaning different from that intended by the authors teach any of what you claim.

You are the one who needs to have sense. You are supposed to know that most of the cultures your African ancestors practiced were bad and are no longer regarded in this modern times. A woman is not a man's property, the bride price you mentioned cannot buy human life, hence a husband does not own his wife, rather she's a partner who deserves equal love and respect.

Looking at it from the biblical point of view, the Bible instructs the husband to love his wife as himself and as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). If this man loved his wife he would definitely allow her visit her family or he should have given her good reasons why she should not travel. . For him to stop her for no reason is somehow and if she disobeys him, then he caused it.

blackpanthar:
Maybe you are not a Christian but even in Islam it is worse......

AS FAR AS AFRICAN MARRIAGES ARE CONCERNED........... the woman is the property of the man... IT IS NOT AN OPINION... if you like call it slavery but you can not select what part of authority you want to enjoy.

IT IS CALLED BRIDE PRICE FOR A REASON AND NOT BRIBE PRICE.

Have sense so you can marry well with the right perspective.


YOU CAN'T MARRY AND THINK YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO DO AS YOU WERE DOING AS A SINGLE.

blackpanthar:
EVERYONE ON THAT LIST HANDED HER OVER TO THE HUSBAND ON THE WEDDING DAY.......... so it is over. Her choices should be based on HERSELF and HER HUSBAND. Simple.

Visions can always be cancelled.

Fact...Well said!

LilMissFavvy:
■ Looking at it from the biblical point of view, the Bible instructs the husband to love his wife as himself and as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). If this man loved his wife he would definitely allow her visit her family or he should have given her good reasons why she should not travel. . For him to stop her for no reason is somehow and if she disobeys him, then he caused it.

Those words you claim were said by Paul. Paul is neither God of Israel nor Jesus Christ who instead said that your marriages have nothing to do with the kingdom of God and that a time would come when people will realize blessed the woman without children...

29 The time is coming when people will say, ‘The women who cannot have babies are the ones God has blessed. It’s really a blessing that they have no children to care for.’ - Luke 23 vs 29

...a notion contrary to that proclaimed by Paul in his letters to women.

Please stop dragging scripture into that which does not concern scripture and you will have a more sane discussion.

P.S. the time Jesus Christ spoke of arrived over 1900 years ago.

IF SHE IS STILL LIVING WITH THE HUBBY,THEN SHE HAS TO LISTEN TO HIM!!

Bruno3000:
What if the husband has no sense?

That's why u don't just marry anybody

tnerro1:
No go ooo, the man go nack the housemaid scatter if you go

What an accomplishment to the man

omoredia:
That's why u don't just marry anybody

But a lot of men have low IQ

LilMissFavvy:
You are the one who needs to have sense. You are supposed to know that most of the cultures your African ancestors practiced were bad and are no longer regarded in this modern times. A woman is not a man's property, the bride price you mentioned cannot buy human life, hence a husband does not own his wife, rather she's a partner who deserves equal love and respect.

Looking at it from the biblical point of view, the Bible instructs the husband to love his wife as himself and as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). If this man loved his wife he would definitely allow her visit her family or he should have given her good reasons why she should not travel. . For him to stop her for no reason is somehow and if she disobeys him, then he caused it.

In reality you own no body not even your children.
It's irks me how a grown adult will expect another grown adult to seek permission to do a thing.african men with their egoistic charade

wany:
■ But a lot of men have low IQ

Nigerian women dey marry things.

Anashe:
Here comes religious manipulation. The same way Esther is glorified over Vashti because she refused to be ridiculed by a drunk king and his guests? And Esther a child, a teenager that was prepped for a whole year for a paedophile king? A woman is the "glory" to a husband that is fully submitted to God. Not a husband masquerading as the weapon fashioned against her. Sarah called Abraham "Lord" for nothing? How many of the men on earth are like Abraham? This delusion needs to stop.
At the end of the day, you people assume a woman's life begins and ends with a title or an institution. LMFAO. I am patiently waiting for what the Bible says about husbands

Your last paragraph is all an African man lives for. So sad the Generation Z are changing the narrative which is the bitter tears you see on a daily from them it's even going to get worst, they will certainly cry an ocean

wany:
But a lot of men have low IQ

That's why u avoid the lot and go for the few that have sense. Life is a choice

blackpanthar:
Maybe you are not a Christian but even in Islam it is worse......

AS FAR AS AFRICAN MARRIAGES ARE CONCERNED........... the woman is the property of the man... IT IS NOT AN OPINION... if you like call it slavery but you can not select what part of authority you want to enjoy.

IT IS CALLED BRIDE PRICE FOR A REASON AND NOT BRIBE PRICE.

Have sense so you can marry well with the right perspective.


YOU CAN'T MARRY AND THINK YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO DO AS YOU WERE DOING AS A SINGLE.

Let this reside in your mind only ok, never try this with an inform woman, if not it will end in hot tears.

We4all:
God also said that married people should not commit adultery but 99.9% of married men do. The faithful ones are the broke ones.

We still have rich ones who are faithful. Instead of comiting adultry, it’s better to take up second wife as said by God. The problem people are having is not wanting a polygamous family because of all the things that surrounds it. God will guide our footsteps

abimbola74:
We still have rich ones who are faithful. Instead of comiting adultry, it’s better to take up second wife as said by God. The problem people are having is not wanting a polygamous family because of all the things that surrounds it. God will guide our footsteps

If you have a wife, then you should have no business with another woman at all. If you marry a second wife,then you have committed adultery. When did God advice you to marry a second wife?

wany:
Let this reside in your mind only ok, never try this with an inform woman, if not it will end in hot tears.

the so called informed women u speak of, are the ones whose husbands are mute, or about to divorce them and feel undervalued.


First world countries are not better than Africa, pls understand this.

God is real and his standards are real
In a HOME, it is not 50/50
The Husband is the HEAD, no matter what.

Marriage is not for everyone, Marriage doesn't even profit men in anyway but rather increases their responsibilities and liabilities.


Women who are independent and very informed are best to remain single... even in the bible they were single and no one complained.

blackpanthar:
the so called informed women u speak of, are the ones whose husbands are mute, or about to divorce them and feel undervalued.


First world countries are not better than Africa, pls understand this.

God is real and his standards are real
In a HOME, it is not 50/50
The Husband is the HEAD, no matter what.

Marriage is not for everyone, Marriage doesn't even profit men in anyway but rather increases their responsibilities and liabilities.


Women who are independent and very informed are best to remain single... even in the bible they were single and no one complained.

If marriage doesn't profit a man then why all the tears for submission
I repeat you don't control an adult save the tears.

We4all:
If you have a wife, then you should have no business with another woman at all. If you marry a second wife,then you have committed adultery. When did God advice you to marry a second wife?

Can you please tell me where it’s written that marrying a second wife is adultery ?
Please argue with facts and don’t let your emotions get the better part of you

We4all:
If you have a wife, then you should have no business with another woman at all. If you marry a second wife,then you have committed adultery. When did God advice you to marry a second wife?

Can you please tell me where it’s written that marrying a second wife is adultery ?
Please argue with facts and don’t let your emotions get the better part of you.

She should listen to someone she revers. It should be the husband first.

Jeon:
Why will a normal man deny a woman to go see her family?.
Some Women dy marry shéha !.

Nah woman of before go obey, even if there's no valid reason for denying her to see her blood family. But now try it on most women.

Some important reasons might arise and you your husband will tell you to stay back.