₦airaland Forum

Mimicle101:
Lol.. take it easy. you dont know nothing about the man. and i beat. you have never seen a beast before

Lol, it hurts me when women can't see danger and take decision

Kobojunkie:
What she instead told you is in danger is not her home and marriage but her sanity and that of her children. Those are rightly greater priorities than the violent environment that is her marriage. Those children do not deserve to be put through such wickedness in the name of keeping a marriage.

2. It is so funny how those of you who wrought wickedness on others by your own hands are always the first to invoke God whenever cornered. It is like an expected reaction from manipulative beings. OP, does not need prayers nor does she need to pray to any god out there unless she worships some sort of actual god of marriage that she is sure will save her from this marriage contract that binds her to an abusive man and endangers regularly the mental health of her children.

3. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 - Yes o, Sister, remain enduring as a punching bag in marriage. That marriage badge will bear you witness after your health and probably life has been thoroughly damaged all in the name of love. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

please kindly point to me one perfect marrige. trouble free for 20 years.

most of you are like run. leave. run. after running then what. who will tae care of those kids. why always encourage broken home instead of advocating for resolution and peace

frozen70:
Honestly at this point, if your own family I mean siblings are aware of your predicament and can't afford a room for you, then they are part of the whole problem

Just carry those children out and run to anywhere you like, then get anything you can do with your hands

That man is a beast and you will definitely be his target if you don't act fast

You are right.

Mimicle101:
■ please kindly point to me one perfect marrige. trouble free for 20 years.
■ most of you are like run. leave. run. after running then what. who will tae care of those kids.
■ why always encourage broken home instead of advocating for resolution and peace

See cowardice on display for Pete's sake!

2. You admitted that it was your wife who took care of your kids until she could no longer endure keeping up with the charade that was you and her united in marriage. Yet you dare to ask the question in bold regarding the care of the kids?

3. You have admitted here that you broke your own home, destroying any and every chance of a peaceful resolution, yet somehow you dare to shove the blame on an outsider for admitting what you already know which is that the marriage is indeed broken? Are you for real? What kind of eejit-otic mind game are you trying to play there on yourself now?

soulhelper481:
You are right.

oky


Best of luck.

Unfortunately these commentor won't be there foe you when you will be praying and wishing for another home.

soulhelper481:
You are right.

Thank you, for reasoning with me

Mimicle101:
oky


Best of luck.

Unfortunately these commentor won't be there foe you when you will be praying and wishing for another home.

She's very right. Lately, I'm always afraid. In the night. Because I'm scared Incase he harm me while sleeping. His actions are terrifying. Is like someone with mental disorder. No woman deserve that

Kobojunkie:
See cowardice on display for Pete's sake!

2. You admitted that it was your wife who took care of your kids until she could no longer endure keeping up with the charade that was you and her being united in marriage. Yet you dare to ask the question in bold about who would take the case of the kids?

3. You have admitted here that you broke your own home, destroying any and every chance of a peaceful resolution, yet somehow you think an outsider admitting it is indeed broken is to carry the blame? Are you for real?

i always love your comment. keep playing devils advocate.

You can deceive as many woman as you want.

look am a freeman.

i have peace now. i acknowledged my wrong and mistakes as a human that i am. an not a super human that you expect.

the truth is. when am ready i can stilll find another good lady who would understand and be there for me. and live moves on.

am only sorry for most ladies who re quick to jump ship when there is crisis in there marriage. if its that easy to get a partner. to build a marriage for 10, 20 even more year without having some challenges. then let them listen to you and then leave there husbands.

but first let them go to badoo and many other online dating sites and see the amount of single ladies they would be competing with. its not even easy for the men. how about the ladie.

afterall is not compulsory to marry they can aswell remain single is also a good option.

thank you

soulhelper481:
She's very right. Lately, I'm always afraid. In the night. Because I'm scared Incase he harm me while sleeping. His actions are terrifying. Is like someone with mental disorder. No woman deserve that

That means your husband needs help.

if he was your brother, or child would you disown him?

lady find help for your husband.

have you informed his family?

Mimicle101:
■ i always love your comment. keep playing devils advocate. You can deceive as many woman as you want. look am a freeman. i have peace now. i acknowledged my wrong and mistakes as a human that i am. an not a super human that you expect.
■ the truth is. when am ready i can stilll find another good lady who would understand and be there for me. and live moves on. am only sorry for most ladies who re quick to jump ship when there is crisis in there marriage. if its that easy to get a partner. to build a marriage for 10, 20 even more year without having some challenges. then let them listen to you and then leave there husbands.
■ but first let them go to badoo and many other online dating sites and see the amount of single ladies they would be competing with. its not even easy for the men. how about the ladie. afterall is not compulsory to marry they can aswell remain single is also a good option. thank you

1. If your idea of what it means to be human is having the freedom to inflict hurt and pain on others— even children—and then carefully walking away from the chaos you created so you can start over afresh somewhere else, you certainly have a long way to go.

2. I already said it! Your noxious poems of how much you loved your ex, were just nonsense to pull the heartstrings of the gullible with and further delude yourself with this image of a "good" person you seem to have going for you there. You sound a lot like a predator looking for his next prey!

3. An entitled predator at that!

Kobojunkie:
1. If your idea of what it means to be human is having the freedom to inflict hurt and pain on others— even children—and then carefully walking away from the chaos you created so you can start over afresh somewhere else, you certainly have a long way to go.

2. I already said it! Your noxious poems of how much you loved your ex, were just nonsense to pull the heartstrings of the gullible with and further delude yourself with this image of a "good" person you seem to have going for you there. You sound a lot like a predator looking for his next prey!

3. An entitled predator at that!

lol... good night

Let any lady take your advice at there own risk

Mimicle101:
■ lol... good night. Let any lady take your advice at there own risk

Well, duh! Like those who pay attention to you won't be doing the same — at their own risk!

Talk to your family members and his if possible

soulhelper481:
She's very right. Lately, I'm always afraid. In the night. Because I'm scared Incase he harm me while sleeping. His actions are terrifying. Is like someone with mental disorder. No woman deserve that

If it has gotten to this stage then you need to put yourself and your children first. Involve your family and his parents and siblings but your immediate action should be to move out first. God forbid something bad happens to you, What about your kids?
Just be wise, don't complain, and don't do anything to anger him; if there's nowhere you can go, then it's better you you move back to your parent's place even if temporarily,- Depending on your next step.

I pray for wisdom and guidance for you in this dicey situation

Mod;
Also are you sure nothing else is involved. Like alcohol or narcotics?

Of course, you no be saviour na.

kushercain:
If it has gotten to this stage then you need to put yourself and your children first. Involve your family and his parents and siblings but your immediate action should be to move out first. God forbid something bad happens to you, What about your kids?
Just be wise, don't complain, and don't do anything to anger him; if there's nowhere you can go, then it's better you you move back to your parent's place even if temporarily,- Depending on your next step.

I pray for wisdom and guidance for you in this dicey situation

Mod;
Also are you sure nothing else is involved. Like alcohol or narcotics?

Amen. Thank you

Zwooks:
How do you mean ?

What I mean is that church doesn't help as you know those days ( a places I know precisely)

I think is fire on the mountain now. Everybody seems to focus only on himself and his children, even ophans and widows hardly get helped by church/ believer's this days, talk less of someone who is not incapacitated.

MOG6670:
What I mean is that church doesn't help as you know those days ( a places I know precisely)

I think is fire on the mountain now. Everybody seems to focus only on himself and his children, even ophans and widows hardly get helped by church/ believer's this days, talk less of someone who is not incapacitated.

Wow. Is it this bad ?

@mimicle101. Speak for yourself. Be reasonable and honest with yourself.

@mimicle101, do you still gamble presently?

Be truthful about the situation here. Don't Gaslight the OP.

You think it's child's play to leave with a man/husband that doesn't bring in anything into the house for housekeeping and bills payment but all he does is to come collect from the wife the little one she struggles to get, the man goes to squander it and comes home empty pocket.

This routine continues from January to December of the year then another year again.. what kind of life is that?

..... And you expect the OP to continue to live happily with the man she called husband ?

Children are involved in this issue o.

@mimicle101, be reasonable na !

Se, na because say you also dey gamble like the OP's husband ?

Shame suppose dey catch you.

soulhelper481:
Sir, I would love to ask. In your case, Did your wife left you? And at what point did you realize and stop?
Honestly, no woman who experience the life of a chronic gambler husband, can respect him. The effects are traumatizing. I can't even explain the level of anger they generate with that lifestyle

.. @ mimicle101, ... Sebi the woman is a wicked one when she acted the bolded part of the above statement to her husband, abi ?

soulhelper481:
Had it been she didn't leave you, you wouldn't have change. That's why every woman in her shoe or mine have to leave.

...No mind am. The wife leaving him then is a catalyst to his present recovery. Instead of him to continue to work on his full recovery, he is passing the blame to the woman.

@,mimicle101, if your ex wife never marry another man , you can still win her heart back after your full recovery.

henrimoto:
...No mind am. The wife leaving him then is a catalyst to his present recovery. Instead of him to continue to work on his full recovery, he is passing the blame to the woman.

@,mimicle101, if your ex wife never marry another man , you can still win her heart back after your full recovery.

I took the blame. weather the sickness was directly or indirectly. infact i regret becoming what i became.

Nonetheless; where i have personal issue is my own wife leaving me at my worse. i personally dont care how anyone would see these statement.
Unless you can convince me that marriage is no longer 4 better and worse and in sickness and in health till death do us part.

she was working and doing well. at some point she was cooking her own food. stopped being a wife. then i cooked my own food. I stay help around the house as i have alwas done. and also paid the bills even when i dont have to pay i never even told or asked her for help anymore. i decided to carry the cross alone.

Because i lost my source of incomes, infact life became hell for me. i had to go start learning a new skill that would take me like 1 to 2 months so i can start earning money.

it was while i was still learning these skill that she left the house.



Have i mentioned to you that my own wife has called police on me before?

By the way, i wish i new better.

You said if she has not married?


Would i marry her and take her out of Nigeria where God started blessing her and then she wants to marry another man in the same country i brought her in? Only time will tell though...

Mimicle101:
I took the blame. weather the sickness was directly or indirectly. infact i regret becoming what i became.

Nonetheless; where i have personal issue is my own wife leaving me at my worse. i personally dont care how anyone would see these statement.
Unless you can convince me that marriage is no longer 4 better and worse and in sickness and in health till death do us part.

she was working and doing well. at some point she was cooking her own food. stopped being a wife. then i cooked my own food. I stay help around the house as i have alwas done. and also paid the bills even when i dont have to pay i never even told or asked her for help anymore. i decided to carry the cross alone.

Because i lost my source of incomes, infact life became hell for me. i had to go start learning a new skill that would take me like 1 to 2 months so i can start earning money.

it was while i was still learning these skill that she left the house.



Have i mentioned to you that my own wife has called police on me before?

By the way, i wish i new better.

You said if she has not married?


Would i marry her and take her out of Nigeria where God started blessing her and then she wants to marry another man in the same country i brought her in? Only time will tell though...

.. You were really hurt. Sorry about your recent marriage ordeal.

I understand a bit of how you feel about the whole thing, letting her go is real hard for you but let it be. I know it's hard and difficult for you emotionally

Let it be that catalyst that will spur you to your full recovery track.

I pray time and Nature heal you.

Be positive.
Be strong

Madam, I don't pity women like you because most of you choose the wrong men for all the wrong reasons in this world. This is why I don't support ladies blindly choosing a man with the claim of being in one yeye love. Women are the worst in making choices of life partners because they hardly do so with logical reasons but with lots of emotion! But if a guy is the chooser, that provides opportunity for him to be thoroughly vetted!

When we say these things they think we're just saying it for the sake of saying it, but when problems arise from their wrong choices, they want to blackmail everybody into pitying them.

henrimoto:
.. You were really hurt. Sorry about your recent marriage ordeal.

I understand a bit of how you feel about the whole thing, letting her go is real hard for you but let it be. I know it's hard and difficult for you emotionally

Let it be that catalyst that will spur you to your full recovery track.

I pray time and Nature heal you.

Be positive.
Be strong

Thanks you.

God is making it easier day after day just by his Grace

soulhelper481:
Pls, Nigerians, come and rescue me from my husband before we both loss it. I need an accomodations for me and my two children. I don't want to keep enduring anymore. I'm tired. It has reached the stage of forcefully and violently taking and using whatever I struggle for to gamble. He gambles with everything. Even if we're hungry, he wouldn't provide, yet the little I could afford, he struggles with me and still gamble it away living us to suffer.


The present accomodations we have, I paid for it and it's expiring towards ending of the year. But I want to peaceful give him some distance to regain myself.
Family members have adviced him and they're all tired.
I need help. I can't even sleep comfortably in the night, I'm always afraid he might hurt me because of everyday quarrel and disapproval. I want to be alive to take care of my children.

Pls I need to go away. I need help. I'm in Abuja. I need accomodation, I want to be able to breathe. I'm suffocating here.

I have tried all I could, but he's not willing to change. His family members (his mom) testified he has this habit even from the university. It's a long story. I have been trying to save an addict, but all my efforts, wasted.
Now, he's acting violent with me. I don't want to move to my family house because he will start coming over and acting like he has change. As usual.

which side of Abuja are you?

I hopes you would both loses it..., so that you would come and marry me?

Jman06:
Madam, I don't pity women like you because most of you choose the wrong men for all the wrong reasons in this world. This is why I don't support ladies blindly choosing a man with the claim of being in one yeye love. Women are the worst in making choices of life partners because they hardly do so with logical reasons but with lots of emotion! But if a guy is the chooser, that provides opportunity for him to be thoroughly vetted!

When we say these things they think we're just saying it for the sake of saying it, but when problems arise from their wrong choices, they want to blackmail everybody into pitying them.

I know, people don't hear cry of a struggling person in time like this. They will always be the first to write when it results to death, suicide or something really bad. That's when you hear ''But why didn't you voice out'' ''why didn't you seek for help''
You might not pity me as you stated, but God will deliver me and he has started already.

soulhelper481:
So, you mean is ok for a man to wake up every morning, have his bath and walk to betting shop, stay there from morning till night. Even if he win anything at all, he still gambles back. And keep repeating the same process from January to December without having anything, is fine with you?
That's crazy
I'm alive today, seeking help to protect myself and my children. Any kind hearted person who wish to help me. Pls do while I'm still breathing. I need to secure an accomodation and move away.
Once he returns back from his gambling and find no one in the house, nor food to violently take and eat, I believe, by then, he will start thinking about his life and start making effort to save himself.

Send email to me.

Kaido:
Your advice sounds irrationally stupid.

A woman is seeking for assistance to save herself from the turmoils & emotional trauma that she is facing over years of trying to save her unrepentant gambling husband and you dey cap nonsense.

Bia, be very careful. 🙄

Sincerely not on this space you find good advice... if the husband win 60mill what's gobs be your take...

Mimicle101:
someone said "Never to marry a Nigerian woman" look i dont support these quote but looking at the behaviour of most of our woman in these our current generation. Its really scary.
Infact with these kind of mentality marriages would never last. people would be divorcing within weeks of marriage.


having said that.

Look madam i kindly sympathise with you about what you are going through. infact i have been there. But in my case i was the husband. only that i causually started gambling few months beforei got married. Lockdown came in 2020 and that was when my demons started manifesting fully. I became an addict untill i lost my job, car frinds and then Marriage.

The irony of it all was that i could see the damage and the negative effect of the addiction in everything that has to do with me.
Even on my physical appearance.

I cry deeply in my heart as i was helpless. All my brain wanted was to win back all the money... the other irony of it was that.. even after winning it back i still find myself going back and losing all again.

the question is.. was i aware what was happening to me .. YES

was I happy.. No

can I stop.. No > Because I could not control my mind anymore.


Look Madam... I fully understand how you feel.

But am assuming your Husband might not be the worse husband in town.

But the fact still remains that his actions are hurting and ruining lifes.

About the violent

Madam..

like in my case mine got into 1 or 2 violents scenes (i allowed her to beat me) yes my wife beat me up ahaahahaa...

Have i ever beat my wife.. No

Would i ever beat my wife.. Never

But my wife became super abusive and disrespectful (talks or responds in a disrespectful manner, comes home late, stopped cooking, stopped any romantic activity, do anything she likes, keeps malice, always busy on the phone)when she became tired of Supporting the house.

My Sin was gambling/inability to provide. which lead to the above crisis.

Other than that things was going to remain good.



Now let me say these to you madam and any other woman who might be going through these.

Just know that you are not alone. infact Gambling has become a global pandemic which which is and has become a threat to families. Just like every other addiction out there.

And understand that anyone can become a victim. including your own kids. And am sure when you Son or daughter become sick you dont throw them away or disown them.

Now is divorce the only option? I strongly believe its Not.

because at the end of the day most of them those men suffers more.

So my point in all these..

There should be more awareness about the dangers of gambling

And the government should do something about the numerous gambling operators both ofdine and online.

Then Families should please with love and care start treating Gambling addiction as the demon it is.

An addict needs help every help they can get. In a developed countries there are program's available to rehabilitate addicts.

Ma i dont know your main purpose of wating to divorce your husband.. let me ask, If your husband was not addcted or losing and was providing... would you have thought about divorcing him?

if your answer is No.

Then on his behave.
please all he need is love, encouragment. tell him all the money he lost are all gone for good. let him know is okey to start over.

And try to manage him and his finances.. all in love. look like on my case it wont be easy. but with love I gurantee you you both will come out Strong.

Google him resources to help me.
Just help him ma.

These is not the time to fight your husband but a time for both of you to fight the addiction and win the fight.

Conaider these scenario...

You divorce him

You leave and continue he struggle alone.

you try new relationships... men use and disapoint you. You might still be lucky to find a good man who would stay. am not sure the chances.

But what is the gurantee the new man ma not have his own addiction. it might not be gambling..

Now your divorced husband is left shattered and loses maybe even shelter over his head.

Maybe one day He beats th addition alone and bounces back on his feet.

Now would you want him back?

Your opening statement... "Never marry a Nigerian woman " provided a window into the arrogant, entitled and unrepentant entity you are.

Is a woman seeking to divorce her husband because she is at her wits end Nigerian thing alone? 🤨

Mimicle101:
Very well. got your point.

So now whats the way forward?

In your own opinion..

I must get a new wife and start a new Family right?

Or better still I must remain single and die lonely.

Please i need your Honest opinion.

Get a new wife who knows little or nothing about your ugly past. Trust broken can never mend. Your first wife has moved on.