₦airaland Forum

Someone I called a friend has annoyed me tonight for even contemplating about a relationship with an After-2.

Procreation is the main benefit of marriage to a man. Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward”. The main purpose of marriage to a man is to expand his lineage. I will never understand why a man will then put all his physical, mental and financial efforts into raising another man's lineage.

Don't your skin crawl at the fact that somebody out there bleeped "your wife, creampied her, and now you're left to inherit the baggage he left behind by raising the product of that cream-pie?

- A man should only step up as a father to his own flesh and blood. That includes children of incapacitated/deceased brothers.

- Why are you a bailout and becoming a third wheel? When you can literally create your own family from scratch.

- Have you ever thought about the fact that you can literally be a supposed father for many years to a child only to lose that child when you break up with their mother? Imagining taking responsibility for a child that's not yours for 15 years, and when you are divorced from the mother, she goes away with the child without you getting any paternal rights. Wasted efforts of 15 years. Spits.

- Have you thought about the fact that the lineage that child belongs to will come and claim that child after you've emasculated yourself and was foolish enough to raise their offsprings.

I personally don't care what led the woman to become a single mother.

You can date them, you can render financial assistance to them. But when it's time to marry, chose a childless woman and create your bloodline instead of raising another man's. Don't be a sucker.

The only exception is if a man is impotent. And sadly, that make you less of a man in actual sense.

Speechless 😶
Well let me just say sometimes love leads and u will be lost and u can even get married to after 3 😂

Kingrshd3:
Speechless 😶
Well let me just say sometimes love leads and u will be lost and u can even get married to after 3 😂

Lol. I dated an after-1 (now an after-2), even cohabitated with her at some point. Was even funny cos she was still sleeping with the baby's father then but I didn't make a fuss out of it cos I knew she was a placeholder. When it was time to get married, I created my own family without a third wheel.

Btw, a man should never let love lead. A man should be courageous. Courageous enough to make the best decisions.

One question to test your masculinity: Will you as an AS knowingly marry a woman you know is also AS even if you love her very much.

what a pile of ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!

here are the FACTS about this issue:
- some men have no problem dating and marrying single mothers, just because you are against it, thats your own problem/opinion, not theirs.
- are single mothers infertile now that you will even talk of procreation?! are you claiming that a single mother cannot get married again and have biological children to her new husband?
- put your yeye misplaced ego aside... any man can raise children that aint biologically his... thus why many great men adopt children and/or marry single mothers. sadly, men like yourself are so caught up in your BS selfish mentality, that you couldnt/wouldnt raise a child that aint yours. i suggest you stop reading your holybook upside down.
- what I would never understand is why a grown man would put so much effort/energy into trying to look down on what another man is doing, which aint illegal nor against the law... live your life the best you can and let others live theirs.

IN LIFE, ALWAYS DO WHATS RIGHT BY YOU... KNOWINGLY RAISING A CHILD THAT AINT YOURS IS NOT A CRIME/ABOMINATION, its a beautiful thing. there are many children out there than need a good father, why would you care so much if a man wants to raise children that aint his? what kind of evil heart you possess that you would be against such a beautiful thing?

so again... is it wrong for a man to decide to date or marry a single mother? ABSOLUTELY NOT, to each their own.

Mille:
Lol. I dated an after-1 (now an after-2), even cohabitated with her at some point. Was even funny cos she was still sleeping with the baby's father then but I didn't make a fuss out of it cos I knew she was a placeholder. When it was time to get married, I created my own family without a third wheel.

Btw, a man should never let love lead. A man should be courageous. Courageous enough to make the best decisions.

One question to test your masculinity: Will you as an AS knowingly marry a woman you know is also AS even if you love her very much.

U understands better 😄
There are certain conditions too but u shouldn't allow love to blind your eyes but like seriously 😑 ehn if u see girl wey u love die and if she don born 1 ehn 🤔

I swear u will be gratefully confused either to marry her or not 🚫


Speaking from experience Sha ...

But na she no gree marry me but am ready for her then 🙁☹️

Mille:
I personally don't care what led the woman to become a single mother.

You can date them, you can render financial assistance to them. But when it's time to marry, chose a childless woman and create your bloodline instead of raising another man's. Don't be a sucker.

The only exception is if a man is impotent. And sadly, that make you less of a man in actual sense.

Look at you. Getting high fever for a choice someone else is making for themselves..

How does it affect you?

Even single mothers wouldn't want their sons to marry single mothers.

Mille:
Lol. I dated an after-1 (now an after-2), even cohabitated with her at some point. Was even funny cos she was still sleeping with the baby's father then but I didn't make a fuss out of it cos I knew she was a placeholder. When it was time to get married, I created my own family without a third wheel.

Btw, a man should never let love lead. A man should be courageous. Courageous enough to make the best decisions.

One question to test your masculinity: Will you as an AS knowingly marry a woman you know is also AS even if you love her very much.

some of you are confusionist that probably don't know what they want. Some of you will want even the single ladies to get pregnant before marriage which some ladies will never attempt such even if you're a billionaire, only foolish ladies accept such conditions. If truly you want to know she's fertile there are medical checkup on that or best bet go for the single mothers as an evidence of fertility. What you guys don't know is that this world doesn't revolve around you lots. Single mothers are getting married if they chose to. The fact that you cannot marry them doesn't mean every other men can't. Just as you dated and live together with a single mother. Some men can't cohabit with a woman since they aren't married yet. Life is a choice bro. You marrying a single lady doesn't make you better or sensible than men getting married to single mothers. After all na our fellow men impregnated these ladies and abandone them. What they cannot try in saner clines. If we men chose to be responsible, there will be less single mother in Nigeria. Some irresponsible men know and understand our law doesn't frown at that here so they misbehave.

MrBrownJay1:
what a pile of ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!

here are the FACTS about this issue:
- some men have no problem dating and marrying single mothers, just because you are against it, thats your own problem/opinion, not theirs.
- are single mothers infertile now that you will even talk of procreation?! are you claiming that a single mother cannot get married again and have biological children to her new husband?
- put your yeye misplaced ego aside... any man can raise children that aint biologically his... thus why many great men adopt children and/or marry single mothers. sadly, men like yourself are so caught up in your BS selfish mentality, that you couldnt/wouldnt raise a child that aint yours. i suggest you stop reading your holybook upside down.
- what I would never understand is why a grown man would put so much effort/energy into trying to look down on what another man is doing, which aint illegal nor against the law... live your life the best you can and let others live theirs.

ABSOLUTELY NOT, to each their own.

- First, I'm not against it. People can do whatever they like. Doesn't change the fact that it is stupid and emasculating. Everyone is swimming in clear water, and some people decide to swim in muddy shark-infested water. Even if some of them survive swimming across the muddy shark-infested water, it still doesn't change the fact that it was stupid in the first place.

- Read again, I didn't say they are barren. My point is you get married to procreate your own lineage, not to be too stupid enough to raise someone else's own. Raising an outsider amongst your own bloodline is a recipe for disaster, especially when they are far older than your own children.

- Adopting children is different from raising illegitimate kids of your supposed wife. When you adopt children, they are legally yours. When you raise illegitimate children of your wife, they are only yours when you're still married to the mother. Or have you ever seen a stepfather go away with his stepchildren when divorced? All efforts down the drain, efforts that you could have put into your own bloodlines.

Obligatory


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2J5xEOIoCA?si=cs36avvwHJYwtV8c


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgKy6Exqj_s?si=ZQYogT6j_oKIu33e

Mille:
- First, I'm not against it. People can do whatever they like. Doesn't change the fact that it is stupid and emasculating. Everyone is swimming in clear water, and some people decide to swim in muddy shark-infested water. Even if some of them survive swimming across the muddy shark-infested water, it still doesn't change the fact that it was stupid in the first place.

here you go again bringing your dating preferences to this discussion.... who said that dating/marrying a single mother is either stupid or emasculating? thats YOUR opinion/preferences (and you are entitled to it) but dont come here with your personal views trying to force feed them to people as facts. yes dating a single mother is not for everybody and there are setbacks but saying that it is emasculating is a very ignorant statement. if i was looking for a woman and met a fantastic single mother that match my desire, then why on earth dating/marrying
her would emasculate me? get your facts right, it would make low self esteem men (like you) with misplaced ego look down on me, YEAH, but i wouldnt give a damn about what you or any man with misplaced ego think, to begin with.
what you are saying is as clueless as me saying that dating or marrying a fat woman is stupid and emasculating, simply because i dont like fat women and i think that men dating/marrying fat and obese women should be ashamed of themselves.

as for you comparing dating/marrying a single mother to swimming in shark infested water, bro you definitely need serious help, lol!

- Read again, I didn't say they are barren. My point is you get married to procreate your own lineage, not to be too stupid enough to raise someone else's own. Raising an outsider amongst your own bloodline is a recipe for disaster, especially when they are far older than your own children.

- so because a woman has her own child 1st, you cant have your own lineage with her any longer?!?!?
- whats stupid about a man raising a child that he fully well knows aint his (or adopt a child for example)?
- so now what you are claiming is that having a child with a woman who already had a child with someone else is a recipe for disaster?! how exactly? is your bloodline gonna be affected by this woman somehow... or because she had a child before, she is soiled goods?

- Adopting children is different from raising illegitimate kids of your supposed wife. When you adopt children, they are legally yours. When you raise illegitimate children of your wife, they are only yours when you're still married to the mother. Or have you ever seen a stepfather go away with his stepchildren when divorced? All efforts down the drain, efforts that you could have put into your own bloodlines.

i now understand your state of mind and its a definite failed one...so what you are now saying is that...if you (for example) meet a single mother and decide to raise her child as your own, you wouldnt do so because of your good heart and the love you have for this woman and your new family, you will solely do so for a possible reward? what effort down the drain are you talking about? you do whats right by you and be a good man for the child OR you dont and tell the mother from the get go that he aint yours and you would do nothing for him...and basta. just because she comes with a child doesnt mean YOU must pay his school fees, YOU must teach him how to play ball, YOU must help him with his homeworks etc. ULTIMATELY YOU WILL ONLY BE A SURROGATE FATHER (AT BEST) TO THAT CHILD.

stop trying to make it look like there is only one way to be with a single mother.... there are MANY different ways to date/marry a single mother and both of you can decide how to go about it.

We generally lack love and do not have love in our heart to offer. Since when did children become something to hate?
What matters most is why she is a single mother and if she has addressed her flaws.