₦airaland Forum

Phranx1:
Calmly discuss with your wife, show evidence your income ain't as strengthening as your expenses so they should go truth be told this government strangulation is why they see your house as Eldorado.

There are some unreasonable women. This will even spark more trouble

You're married to a greedy and shameless family. Mannabbqgrils talk to your people now

If the case is reversed, your wife would have told you that your family is intruding in her home. Tell your wife it's time for her mom to return home. It's that easy. Before my wife's mom comes to my house, I clearly define the duration depending on what she is coming to do.

All of them should gettat
Tell your wife what's up, and to ask her siblings to stop coming so regularly.
Once every few months is fine.
They probably miss their mother, so Mama too has to go and they can see her in their house
Your wife can either do the work herself or you invite your own mother to come and do Omugwo too.
Infact, tell them your mother or aunt will be coming to spend time with you guys and the baby too.
So it would be somehow for both mothers to be around.
Let them bounce. No hard feelings

samwash:
Like the saying "To be a man is not a days' job"
This is one of the sacrifices of a responsible family man.
Cheer up Bro.

he should cheer up until he becomes broke and helpless?

Please run away from the house for a month. Don't discuss anything with your wife just find one excuse like that. Na Unger go pursue them no be you. You know what, dem neva remember home again

We are in the same shoes bro..

Sit your wife down...Let her your pains

If she's the understanding type, she will bring up options to cut them off. Without her in the plans, you will take more blames.

Let her understand the situation of the country and expenses. Make her understand that Mum can leave and come back later. Women have lots of strategies to solve problems like this.

Leave the house for them . DONT RETURN UNTIL THEY PACK.

Ask your wife what mama would want to go home with and tell her the you guys buy it now before you run out of money because alot has gone for feeding already. and you running of money and you are even borrowing from loan apps now to survive.

Talk true, your wife kpekus don dey hungry you!

FreeSpirited:
Plan a fake travel or conference together with ur wife...tell them ur family have to travel....they should have sense with this scope and fly out of ur life. Ur wife has to support u on this or else it won't work...
.
2nd scope is to tell them directly that, your ability to take full responsibility of the house is becoming unbearable in this hard economy that ur earnings can not support more than 2 mouths at the moment coupled with expensive baby food, that u are resorting to borrow.......If u can do this second trips... they will respect ur manliness or boldness and won't take u for granted cos they know u wont take rubbish.

3rd scope......If the above 2 don't work,,,,,,then reduce the quality of food they cook and eat drastically...This scope is a silent scope....u dont need to explain to ur wife, just cook a fake story of how u no longer have enough cash...maybe work related or project related...make ur wife believe the fake story....
.
E.g if they use fish for stew, cut it to only egg.....reduce soup to once a week or once in two weeks....let them eat more of beans( give them garri with the beans instead of dodo+bread) cook vegetables soup without meat, instead use Shawa fish...lol....this may cause quarell with ur wife,,,don't shy away from the quarrel, infact welcome it and use the avenue to voice out on ur wife so that everyone will hear ur complain of lack of fund and have sense.....
.
Economy is hard, they are using u to chop free food..... ...u have to be smart or die in
silence

I prefer option 3.cook less appetizing food no fish or meat.Go n eat out side.All of dem will leave soon.they are they becos they are comfortable

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Don't worry you will soon start borrowing to feed, if u like don't be a bad person.

E no easy op the same thing happining here, you can go live with your friend outside stay for 2month do transfer give your wife to feed the baby you'll see the solution

maxdosh:
If you are afraid of looking like a bad person, get ready to keep spending even more money. They know what they are doing, do you think they don't know that e sure for them that you will feed them when they come? Because of course, you have no choice as you are now their sister's husband.

Oga this is not the time to be doing smell smell. You have to tell your wife and mom in law to speak with them, if they are adamant, speak to your inlaws directly and if they refuse to see things with you, oga take charge, its your rules because its your house.

Gbam! Afterall they did not give him their daughter for free.

idahme:
Interestingly 80% if ladies won't even understand this I hope his will be amongst the 20%. I don't still understand the reason why some inlaws behave this way no thought process about expenditure they only think the man that married their daughter is a superman and he can do all things.

This is why every man must put factors like how educated the family is, how financially independent they are and if they are able to use common Sense in decision making before venturing.

I wish him good luck, it's not easy to take care of a household all by yourself in this economy

you are too wise

Ol boy, what is wrong in looking like a bad person while protecting your interest and sanity? They are looking out for their own benefit, seek yours too.

You are not responsible for another person's perception of your actions towards protecting your interest within legal limits.

seanwilliam:
he should cheer up until he becomes broke and helpless?

Yes o, then it's goodluck to cheer up when they all start mocking him & label him a deadbeat husband and father

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

For them to be staying that means there is/are rooms where they sleep comfortably. Unless you are staying in your own building, don't stay in more than 2 bedroom flat.

Take your wife out and have a heart-to-heart discussion, away from all distractions. She's actually the best person to solve the problem.

PS: This is the best time to know whether you have an understanding wife or not.

If she doesn't understand . . . 🤐

Wishing you all the best! 🤞🤞🤞

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

sapa never really hold you bro, e be like say u be big boi..

When sapa smile at you I swear u would prefer to be the bad person u re avoiding than to be begging on the street for fuel money..

papyjaypaul:
This one is not matter of fight, life is not fair to men but we need to know how to mange the female species. When I was younger, papa used to tell me about women, then I was clinging on to women because women will always be partial. As a man, I can now see what he said. You have to handle women in their game.

This people will not stay there forever but let me tell you one thing, the moment you say one thing, that is what they will never forget and remember you for. They will not remember all the free feeding he was doing.

Are you saying that my family is hungry

Are we bothering you

Okay i will use my money.

The thing can turn anyhow. Imagine the family now buying their things or the guy sending them out claiming tough guy. I have had guys who did that, they sent family away, it never ends well. In laws are like boardroom politics, let him manage them well. They know themselves better than he thinks he knows them. A man must draw boundaries but in drawing boundaries, he should remember he still needs them in the future. This is just the first pregnancy.

I was going to attack your first post, reading this made me change my mind and realise that you have a solid point. Family issues no be something wey person dey do girigiri, takes wisdom.



However, you should also put into consideration that this man is dying inside and feeding extra mouths is eating deep into his finance . Trust me bro, an average man out there won’t really mind shouldering such responsibility if he has the wherewithal.. but as it is now, for him to voice out bro it means it’s worse than we think..




. @op, you need to apply caution and wisdom while handling this.
I understand how frustrating and difficult it’s to find oneself in such situation..

What u should do is to completely open up to your wife that you cant afford to feed and continue taking care of their needs for now , tell her how much it’s affecting your finance .. say this with firmness and let her know It’s what you’ll love to do if you have the means.




Now the above method will tell you the kind of woman you married.
Two possible outcomes are
1. It’s either she conforms and applies her senses where needed ( either by assisting u in home finance or honorably discharge her folks)
2. She picks a fight with you , using emotional blackmail to bend you to her whims…


As man , you should know what next to do with either of the possible scenarios..
good luck..

Stop dropping enough money at home, start complaining small small. They will get the code

From 3 Square meals,reduce am to 2,then 1.no on gen again.if nepa take light,leave am like that.carry your wife phone and your phone comot house go charge am. From thr lock the tap,make water no dey. Dem must leave.

Lomprico2:
Gbam! Afterall they did not give him their daughter for free.

Abi and they still want to carry their own wahala and dump for him, We men dey try oooo

DiskJokeyManic:
Ok.... Dis is where ur problem is.....Oga de earlier U do de needful,, de better for U,,, u wear the shoes so u know where it hurts.... U don't want to look like a bad person but dis same pple u re feeding like dis,,, should u go broke tomorrow dey will say u hve squandered ur money womanizing or gambling or drinking etc.....😐.... U say ur own family don't even sleep over when dey come right? Ok, just put it as a test, let ur family come over ND stay for a week like ur wife's family does ND den see how ur wife will turn de house upside down nd make de whole place so uncomfortable fr dem or even tell u to chase Dem away without caring if u or Dem will call her "A bad person" or not....😐😐

Stay there ND be dying in silence na.....

u too Dy rush take am easy ...

The only reason why Dy are staying is because they are very comfortable in there... So u have to make the home uncomfortable... Reverse version...hope u get? ....just use only hunger to chase them.... Dat one Dy quickly reset Nigerians brains... gudluck

Eat beans and egg, and drop hot mess.

samwash:
Like the saying "To be a man is not a days' job"
This is one of the sacrifices of a responsible family man.
Cheer up Bro.

Bad advice.....

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

una die dere

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Nnaa become a bad person for once in your life and tell everyone even your MIL that you can't cope. E be like say you want die young because you want to please others

samwash:
Like the saying "To be a man is not a days' job"
This is one of the sacrifices of a responsible family man.
Cheer up Bro.

Haaahaaaaa!I remember my own time when we are eating one painter of garri at once due to the people in my house,it is my wife that even wanted to chase them but I refused,I wonder if it is now what can I do with garri at #3000k per painter then it was #350 naira,to be a family man is not easy,you don't have the luxury of choice, and sometimes you take decisions you don't like

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Make them uncomfortable and they will leave. Show attitude, be mute and unfriendly. Stop providing like before, show signs of lack and they will flee.

As long as you keep acting like dangote they will keep visiting at least to eat well

Don't on gen anytime they are around and keep a mean face.

This thing is not hard if you no be sisy