₦airaland Forum

If you fail to speak up, the burden go dry you, and you die... she go remarry.

This is my opinion:

1. From the body language of your post; you already showed you've the money;

2. I will advise you to reduce your expenditure by 60% meaning; you are to spend maximum of #100,000 for 2 weeks.

3. When they see that there is no much food, fuel in the generator and they no longer eat to satisfaction, bro, they will go.

4. Go and park your car at you friend's place and tell them the vehicle got spoilt and the mechanic needs #260,000 to repair and

5. If your wife's elder brother is not working or doing any tangible thing for a living, kindly empower him with the little you can and you will see the burden from him will be over.

KossyKiss97:
Have a heartfelt conversation with your wife, and let her know the implication on this on your finances. Let her be the one to speak to her family members directly and not you.
Usually, these issues are best discussed before marriage, so that before situations like these arise, they are already nipped in the bud.

This your "heartfelt conversation" make the thing sound as if the man dey for courtroom before the judge and he is negotiating for plea bargain.

from the man's story, the financial burden don hook am badly dt he cnt bear it anymore. You DNT do "heartfelt conversation" in this scenario. You bluntly say it the way it is to your wife thou politely.

You will be good and nice towards people for days ,weeks or years but the day you DNT give to them they wil begin malign you and call you all manner of names. untop your own money ooo

few weeks ago, my wife's sister told my wife dt she wil bring her 3 kids to com spend their holiday with us. They have already discussed and agreed without even letting me know first. I overheard them concluding the mata on the fone while I was on the bed pretending as if I was deep asleep.

Na so I wake up go piss.mount bed and dint say anything. Na so wife call my attention say her sis children wan com spend holiday with us. I kept mute for few mins and ask her "what is your plan when this children com stay with us" she keep quiet

I told her, you agreed to host your sis children without informing me first .since you have agreed to harbor them. you wil take responsibility for their welfare when they com.

you know women. emotional blackmail go set in. I repeated what I said and I told her . when they com, DNT ask me to buy this or that on your way home bk frm wrk for this children because me I won't burge. Na she give herself brain and chng mind frm allowing them com.

The wife in the story is not the one taking financial responsibility for or probably not contributing and you want to burden the husbnd with Xtra load. Na firmness ooo not heartfelt conversation.

MarketDispatch:
Suggestion
If your wife was working, the simplest way to handle this issue is by having a discussion. Let your wife take care of only feeding (foodstuffs ) in the house, whilst you take care of bulk (rent, car purchase, school fees, baby items etc and sundry (dstv, internet, PHCN, drinks) payments.

With your wife taking care of feeding, you won't worry about extra mouths you are complaining of

Na feeding be bulk now oo abi u no dey enter market

Nukilia:
Op, I will advise that you and your wife travel to another location for a week. Book a hotel in another town and stay there for a week. Let the visitors know that you are traveling.

Shalom.

The other advise is too dangerous for you.

In the morning, visit the traditional store, buy a ram horn, clean it properly with water. Stuff the horn with sliced bread and the extruded bread should be smeared with peanut butter.

Buy a small calabash, arrange yam porridge, goat meat and boiled egg inside with palm oil interface, tie red cloth for midnight when everybody don sleep.
Enter sitting room and light red candle. Try and be eating your meal in the night while making distinctive sounds stylish trying to wake them. By the time one or two inlaws wake up to see you in the sitting room at midnight eating your recipe. Nobody will tell them to take their bags in the morning.

You and I know that it's a format and nothing diabolic about the whole scenario. They will all leave your wife for you in peace without any quarrel

Lol. This second method is indeed dangerous

This is very simple, just fake broke for a week,if you are giving your wife #5k before reduce it to #800, and make sure you didn't not subscribed your decoder, and the generator no fuel.
it because they find everything in your house that why they relaxed.

1. Tell your wife to discuss the situation with her mum. Her mum should then advise everybody to leave.
2. A second option for you to carry your wife and baby and travel for a day or two and let everybody disperse to their homes.

It's poverty and joblessness. The mother of my brother's wife is a principal. I don't think she stayed more than two months in their house. My mum didn't stay more than two weeks too

Carry Cutlass na!

Karleb:
If you don't have the balls to tell them to leave then keep spending with a happy face.

Exactly.

I would just tell them to leave.

If they say I’m a bad person, no problem. I can live with that.

samwash:
Like the saying "To be a man is not a days' job"
This is one of the sacrifices of a responsible family man.
Cheer up Bro.

A responsible man is the one that feeds his in laws.. Brother, sister, MIL all in his house...??
Adults depending on another to pay their bills in this economy is what you call responsible...
No wondee Men dey quick die due to financial and emotional pressure...
Widow's everywhere but hardly widowers...


You are free to be such a Man..
Thank God I am an irresponsible husband to my wife.. cos Dem no born any of her family members to come sleepover in my house...
Enjoy being a responsible Man bro..

Seems your house is 3 bedroom flat.... There's enough room for everyone....

Had it been not, would they squeeze in to a single room self contain or two room self con with you?? ...

That aside, deed is done, talk to your wife to reason with you

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Plan for an impromptu travel and tell those unwanted guests that you'll be traveling with your wife.

ABANGWABOI:
A responsible man is the one that feeds his in laws.. Brother, sister, MIL all in his house...??
Adults depending on another to pay their bills in this economy is what you call responsible...
No wondee Men dey quick die due to financial and emotional pressure...
Widow's everywhere but hardly widowers...


You are free to be such a Man..
Thank God I am an irresponsible husband to my wife.. cos Dem no born any of her family members to come sleepover in my house...
Enjoy being a responsible Man bro..

Bit if your in-laws are Dangote children they can sleep over? It's a mean person that wouldn't allow an in-law to pass a night. Thats extreme.

On a normal day Nigerians are hospitable, the problem is poverty. All this see finish na poverty dey cause am.

FreeSpirited:
Plan a fake travel or conference together with ur wife...tell them ur family have to travel....they should have sense with this scope and fly out of ur life. Ur wife has to support u on this or else it won't work...
.
2nd scope is to tell them directly that, your ability to take full responsibility of the house is becoming unbearable in this hard economy that ur earnings can not support more than 2 mouths at the moment coupled with expensive baby food, that u are resorting to borrow.......If u can do this second trips... they will respect ur manliness or boldness and won't take u for granted cos they know u wont take rubbish.

3rd scope......If the above 2 don't work,,,,,,then reduce the quality of food they cook and eat drastically...This scope is a silent scope....u dont need to explain to ur wife, just cook a fake story of how u no longer have enough cash...maybe work related or project related...make ur wife believe the fake story....
.
E.g if they use fish for stew, cut it to only egg.....reduce soup to once a week or once in two weeks....let them eat more of beans( give them garri with the beans instead of dodo+bread) cook vegetables soup without meat, instead use Shawa fish...lol....this may cause quarell with ur wife,,,don't shy away from the quarrel, infact welcome it and use the avenue to voice out on ur wife so that everyone will hear ur complain of lack of fund and have sense.....
.
Economy is hard, they are usingd u to chop free food..... ...u have to be smart or die in silence

Aje, you're a bad person

USE SNIPPER BITTERS

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Honestly this is a very sensitive issue, just seat your wife down let her know that you can only afford baby food and baby needs that you will be buying them yourself

That for now she should face feeding

That will send enough signal to her

So that why will nit say you chased them out of your house

No one knows tomorrow

Nawao so some person still dey face this kind thing... My mother in-law dey very busy once my wife don Sabi baff piking, she don go meet her husband. But u see all this her small small sisters no dey gree go until. May be they quarel and she pursue dem away.. If not kids, marriage na one kind stupid thing

do you stay in same town with your in laws?
how come the siblings stay 2wks?dont they go to school or learn handiwork?you need to talk with your wife and seek her cooperation!
leave her with what couple sustain her for some days and say you are on official assignment!your wife will complete the rest!!

Hmmmm. This is one disadvantages of marrying from a large family of a partner that has so many siblings that are not doing well for themselves.

If they are all doing well, they won't even reason your house or come stay weeks in your house. It's one disadvantages every single young man should look into before considering marrying a girl. Just know that if you marry a girl who has siblings that are not doing pretty well for themselves financially, just know they will turn your house to constant visitation.

If you are not financially buoyant, make it a decision to marry a lady that don't have many siblings that are still not fully financially independent or buoyant on their own.

While it is not wrong to feed extra mouths, but that will definitely wreck you in this economy if you are still struggling with your finances.

If they are contributing to the feeding in the house, that will be a different case.

The girl's senior brother that you said do come to stay for weeks, if he is doing well for himself, he won't even have time to be going to his in-law house to stay for weeks and eating free foods.

That implies he is not still doing well, reasons he comes around to stay to feed freely as things are hard. But that's a big Bleep up for a senior brother.

They are supposed to know with their common senses that, their coming around to stay for weeks upon weeks will put a big hole on your pocket in terms of feeding. It's not easy to single-handedly feed grown up adults in this hard economy.

Must be an igbo woman. Its an irritating trend amongst igbo women. Once they marries, their siblings take over the mans home. The wife wouldnt care if her hubbys pocket is emptied feeding and sometimes, taking 100% responsibility of her siblings education. Meanwhile, the mans family can not spend more than a night in his home without noticing they are longer wanted.

Why u go get 2 or 3 bedroom flats. Why not get room and parlor sef and watch if they will stay.

And I dey here my inlaws dey quarrel me say I no dey visit at all.

I wonder how people just carry their bags and pay relatives visit. That thing no dey my spirit unless I have something very very important doing in that city.

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Stop cooking at home. Prepare only food for your baby. You should eat outside until they leave. They will leave when they noticed that you now rarely cook food.

kingthreat:
Where did you marry from?
If na Edo or Delta, they see it as a right to stay in their inlaws house as much as possible. Denying them makes you a topic of their family meeting. I advise you talk to the most matured member of the family - the mother or father.

Nooooo... Don't mention "Edo" like that again make i no take am personal with you..

Where you get dat info from😠😠guy no tempt me ooo.. before i go use Osime format for you.

hmm.

If you r leaving in a two bedroom or three bedroom flat, go back to one bedroom flat, with a good reasons like d current hardship. By d time your visitor sleep on floor for few days with the inconvenience of two or three of them squeezing to sleep in the parlour, they will find their square root

idahme:
Interestingly 80% if ladies won't even understand this I hope his will be amongst the 20%. I don't still understand the reason why some inlaws behave this way no thought process about expenditure they only think the man that married their daughter is a superman and he can do all things.

This is why every man must put factors like how educated the family is, how financially independent they are and if they are able to use common Sense in decision making before venturing.

I wish him good luck, it's not easy to take care of a household all by yourself in this economy

Your analysis is spot on.

That financially independent aspect is THE KEY!

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

May God help you. In my own opinion call your wife and explain things to her, so that she can systematically tell her siblings to move first. And disconnect the generator supply wire if they refused to go

I have a very simple but effective strategy for you.

Withdraw like 50k cash and give it to your wife, any expenses at all should be spent from that money in her hands, once she spends it in few days, give her another 20k, she will suddenly realise how much you've been spending with her people around. She will ask them to leave on her own.

MarketDispatch:
Suggestion
If your wife was working, the simplest way to handle this issue is by having a discussion. Let your wife take care of only feeding (foodstuffs ) in the house, whilst you take care of bulk (rent, car purchase, school fees, baby items etc and sundry (dstv, internet, PHCN, drinks) payments.

With your wife taking care of feeding, you won't worry about extra mouths you are complaining of

Food! That is the hardest expense in the house