₦airaland Forum

I made a topic about how my Inlaws are staying in my house making me overspend.

https://www.nairaland.com/8124286/how-chase-away-inlaws-house

So my and my wife had a little argument(not related to her family), then I told her she doesn't know the stress I go through in feeding everyone in the house, how much I spend weekly and she doesn't care to know how we are surviving.

Then she said I should have told her that I can't feed her family and she would have looked for a way to feed them or I should have told her I don't want them, and she would have told them to leave instead of me complaining

Women and manipulation be like garri and groundnut

So now, you have told her, she should do the needful. There is no marriage without little arguments like this.

Guy....sit at a table and come to a decision....

U can't continue like this.... before U lose Ur mental health...

You have done enough..
now that U feel choked..it only shows you have tried.

So let them leave or contribute..

Happy Sunday

See how she used reverse psychology in replying to your statement? That's how manipulative women are!

OP, tell her now she knows about it she should do something fast about it. We all know she cannot feed them herself (na mouth she get) she depends on you for survival.

Tell her to ask her family members to leave your house immediately or you tell them yourself. No let her emotionally manipulate you

Wakatumbit:
I made a topic about how my Inlaws are staying in my house making me overspend.

https://www.nairaland.com/8124286/how-chase-away-inlaws-house

So my and my wife had a little argument(not related to her family), then I told her she doesn't know the stress I go through in feeding everyone in the house, how much I spend weekly and she doesn't care to know how we are surviving.

Then she said I should have told her that I can't feed her family and she would have looked for a way to feed them or I should have told her I don't want them, and she would have told them to leave instead of me complaining

Mr mn you need to sit up... you need to really really love your wife with your life, be reay to sacrifice all but at the same time you need to be strong, assertive and consistent, your pride as a man depend on that...you have to guard your respect from your wife and your wife people with all your might which means you to learn how to be very very assertive...dont be a woman rapper

Now you have the opportunity to tell her how the feel. If you let it slide now, you won't be able to do anything again.

Tell her "o! so you know a way of feeding them since and she want to allow you kpai first before assisting?"

Tell her if she knows she loves you, the best time to show it is now, by helping to take care of her mother and siblings.

Use the oppoturnity to share the responsibilities just as she has suggested she's capable...

Be serious about it and see how quick she'll find a way to dismiss them.

Oga take care of your family or gatat.

You can't tell your mother inlaw that omugwo is over that she should go back to her husband.

You need validation.
You are a silly Man.

The burden is too much on men.

No wonder some married men look haggard and depressed nowadays.

Well,you either double your hustle or you learn to live with all that bullshit.

Shit happens,life goes on.

Many men suffer and die in silence and this is one of them. The day you start stating your opinions without giving a fucck about what people think especially when it's about your life, that's the day you will have total freedom. Give your wife one week to politely tell them to leave and if she doesn't, do it yourself nothing will happen. Highest, they will talk about it for 2 weeks and other events will take over. As for how your wife will react to it, don't give a fucck but plan for your future and retirement because it's obvious you're married to a selfish woman.

The love women have for their family is almost the opposite most of them have towards their partner. Imagine what a wife insinuated, she is understanding when it comes to her family being broke to take care of themselves. But she's showing quite the opposite when the man shouldering the burden complains.

But on the other hand, she's given you the option of finding a way to feed them if you had told her so. So just tell her that you can't anymore, so she should shoulder it too.

But be prepared for what comes after. Afterall, a "happy wife is a happy life". So if you go ahead by withdrawing support for her family, be ready to face the consequences.

Wakatumbit:
I made a topic about how my Inlaws are staying in my house making me overspend.

https://www.nairaland.com/8124286/how-chase-away-inlaws-house
So my and my wife had a little argument(not related to her family), then I told her she doesn't know the stress I go through in feeding everyone in the house, how much I spend weekly and she doesn't care to know how we are surviving.

Then she said I should have told her that I can't feed her family and she would have looked for a way to feed them or I should have told her I don't want them, and she would have told them to leave instead of me complaining

i think you should sit all her family down and explain it to them LIKE A MAN, dont let your wife explain it to them the wrong way. so call them all and then tell them:" as much as i like to have you guys around, in this economy i cant take care of all of you guys, so its ok to come visit but please, i dont want anybody to stay around for a week, unless VERY NECESSARY. i have a wife and child to take care of and i cant do that if i have to be feeding 3 grown adults on top. my wallet is not that strong abeg!"

the fact that your wife would even pretend that she didnt know, as if you enjoy feeding 3 extra grown adults in your household, is funny though....

Wakatumbit:
I made a topic about how my Inlaws are staying in my house making me overspend.

https://www.nairaland.com/8124286/how-chase-away-inlaws-house

So my and my wife had a little argument(not related to her family), then I told her she doesn't know the stress I go through in feeding everyone in the house, how much I spend weekly and she doesn't care to know how we are surviving.

Then she said I should have told her that I can't feed her family and she would have looked for a way to feed them or I should have told her I don't want them, and she would have told them to leave instead of me complaining

You should have sat her down and discussed this before the outburst,

Wakatumbit:
I made a topic about how my Inlaws are staying in my house making me overspend.

https://www.nairaland.com/8124286/how-chase-away-inlaws-house

So my and my wife had a little argument(not related to her family), then I told her she doesn't know the stress I go through in feeding everyone in the house, how much I spend weekly and she doesn't care to know how we are surviving.

Then she said I should have told her that I can't feed her family and she would have looked for a way to feed them or I should have told her I don't want them, and she would have told them to leave instead of me complaining

She's just looking for a way to blackmail you emotionally. If there's alternative to feeding your family including your wife's mum and siblings, let her go ahead and do so.

At Op, there's a reason you are the head of the family. This is the time to be firm in taking decisions that will have a great impact on your family. If your wife's family insist they must stay, then it's time to cut expenses except for your child. The moment your wife's family is of the understanding their presence is no longer needed, they will go.

It's obvious your marriage is still young and your wife ( probably doesn't have anything doing), is yet to come to terms with reality.

It is time to be firm except you want yoir home to collapse financially. Don't be bothered with your wife's tantrums, with time she will understand.

NB: Whatever decision you decide to take, let wisdom be your guide. It's well my brother.

E go tey before I put ring for any woman finger. E go tey well well because I don see shege both on and offline.

I don hear side story from the lady, she say na two of Una contribute money pay her bride price


Bro go borrow money from LAPO return her funds

You are acting like a weak man who can't make decisions, I can't cut beer with you 😏😏

Love blindfold you, you have seen the signal since the day of your relationship that her families are burden

Instead of falling in love, I rather fall asleep 🚶🚶

Don't mind her jare
That's how they all talk

Just take a look at her response, someone who can't feed herself for a week downplaying the husband's effort...

Guy just tell her you don't want to feed those liabilities she calls family anymore make dem find der square root comot for your house.

Very very ungrateful gender

This is why being straightforward pays. You might sound harsh, but people will know where you stand, and your mind will be less burdensome.

Only negotiate with someone that also has a stake, or carries equally your responsibilities.

Even if your wife starts feeding them, probably it would be from your money, and also, you are paying for the house I assume, and also, the inconveniences.

How tough are you? Can you ask them about their plans on leaving? Your questions should make them feel uncomfortable staying longer.

If they didn't give a tangible answer, then tell them to leave. Don't respect people that do not respect themselves. Any self-respecting human knows when he has overstayed his welcome. If they don't know, its not your problem.

You carry the load, and you have the right to dump the load, especially loads that does not serve you.

If you can’t feed them anymore, ask them to leave.

You can support them over the distance, within your means.

amSTARboy:
Women and manipulation be like garri and groundnut

With water to drown in!!!

Why not tell them what it is.
That they are becoming a rope in the neck,a heavy log on the shoulders,a pain in the asss,that they dragging you down and becoming too heavy to carry along.

Generally women are very selfish. Since she said she can find a way to feed her fam, leave her to it and just feed yourself and your kids. That her manipulations let her eat her own words. You said your fam don't come around. Call your family to come spend time with you too and see how she reacts then you will understand better. If you are the one paying the house rent or built the home then nobody even your wife should control you in your own home so stop being a weakling and man up bro.

Faced similar issue during the birth of my baby few years ago. I had to speak out in clear terms. 'Your mum has to leave and soonest'. It looked like a shock to my wife cos I have been mild with issues concerning my inlaws even though most times I wasn't happy. But the inconvenience was becoming too much,I felt irritated at times. Its not easy staying with and feeding two or more extra people when the economy is not smiling.

It came with repercussions anyway, - sex denial. I had to address that too squarely. I told her clearly 'denial of sex over little issues or inability to meet your demands would cause a very big problem in this marriage'.

If you don't toughen up, speak and stand your ground you would be in a very disappointing experience as a married man.

Better rest, better rest, better rest 🎶🎵
You don try, she no gree, better rest 🎵🎶

Stand your ground
Plan for your kids,
Country hard, nobody send anybody 💯

Better keep your money o.. Cux God forbid you go broke.. She and her family go still ask you.. Wetin you do for them?

Find how to save and invest for your kids o.. Or you can as well go and pack your family members to the house.. Make e balance..

G0odharddick:
See how she used reverse psychology in replying to your statement? That's how manipulative women are!

OP, tell her now she knows about it she should do something fast about it. We all know she cannot feed them herself (na mouth she get) she depends on you for survival.

Tell her to ask her family members to leave your house immediately or you tell them yourself. No let her emotionally manipulate you

Wotoporiosly speaking 😂🔥💯
Chai, you don see women finish
Na their way sha

joelsky:
Faced similar issue during the birth of my baby few years ago. I had to speak out in clear terms. 'Your mum has to leave and soonest'. It looked like a shock to my wife cos I have been mild with issues concerning my inlaws even though most times I wasn't happy. But the inconvenience was becoming too much,I felt irritated at times. Its not easy staying with and feeding two or more extra people when the economy is not smiling.

It came with repercussions anyway, - sex denial. I had to address that too squarely. I told her clearly 'denial of sex over little issues or inability to meet your demands would cause a very big problem in this marriage'.

If you don't toughen up, speak and stand your ground you would be in a very disappointing experience as a married man.

Thumbs up. One bottle of cold ❄️ beer for you

You're a weak man.