₦airaland Forum

maasoap:
And there are no men that respect their wives? A man shouldn't voice out if his wife is becoming antagonist or showing attitude in the house? If I treat you right, if I play my part, shouldn't I expect you to do the same or I shouldn't complain when you don't?
Any partner who's tired of marriage should walk out of it instead of making life hard for the other partner in the name of woke or whatever

She said she is tired and wants to go and if I wouldn’t fight for us, I should let her go.


What have I been doing these past years?


It just hit me this morning that I might really have to let her go, if she comes back fine, if not; God knows best.


If I was the monster and beast she has been calling me for years, she won’t have stuck around till now.

Silentgroper:
how do you know it's 11pm .. it's probably way before 10pm .. op never said the wife was taking care of a newborn in which she clearly isn't .. so why can't she make a simple meal as toast bread around that time for her husband, the same man that gets her everything she wants like a robot without compaining .. it's not like he asked her to go pound yam or make amala or semo just a friggin toast bread that won't take up to a min . ..
No that's uncalled for..

Even if she was tired, that day was Father’s Day, I prepared the meal we ate all day, c’mon sense or a more thoughtful person won’t have reacted the way she did.


But she did and I reacted too and now I am the bad guy.



These women oo

frozen70:
I don't really know what triggered the dislike in you, but from what I read, I think she is tired and fed up with you and the relationship

She is just waiting for thr right time to leave

Well do whatever pleases you and make sure you give attention and care to the children for the tike being

As it is now, both of you are flat mates

Nothing can be done untill she comes back to her senses

You are very correct. Very correct, she wants to go.


I wish her luck and all the best!

I really want to kick her out now as we speak but I still being considerate because of m the children.

opera1:
How are you sure he return home exactly 10pm? For him to say 10pm, just kno it's few minutes to 11pm.......
Moreover how do you expect someone taken care of kids with other house chores to wake up by 11pm to prepare a meal for someone who ought to be with his family latest 8pm.

Let the op check himself

Not everyone feels the need to lie. If I said 10, it was 10.

jesmond3945:
no is not right. Fathers day he left his family and came back by 10pm to ask his wife to make a toast. Make una dey respect women na, they are human beings too.

she should earn her respect if she wants to be respected.. you don't sit at home doing nothing waiting for husband to make provisions for everything the family needs and expect to be respected.. No, it doesn't work that way.. you don't tell your husband "you hate him" and expect to be respected.. You don't talk back to your husband while he's talking and expects to be respected.. You basically don't disrespect your husband and expect to be respected . Kolewerk ..

It was father's day . He had every right to have gone out with friends/family and stayed out late . It's just a day to celebrate him and he needed to live it to the fullest ...

Making a toast is stuffing things in the middle of two breads and placing in a toasting machine.. Tell me how that's much of a work around 10pm .. if she was that needed to eat around 10pm wouldn't she make something for herself to eat .. like I said op was even lenient asking her to make toast .. if it were me, any food I pronounced that night must made, i don't care how hectic it's ... You refuse, pack your bags and go to your father's house ..

I don't condone indiscipline...

Silentgroper:
she should earn her respect if she wants to be respected.. you don't sit at home doing nothing waiting for husband to make provisions for everything the family needs and expect to be respected.. No, it doesn't work that way.. you don't tell your husband "you hate him" and expect to be respected.. You don't talk back to your husband while he's talking and expects to be respected.. You basically don't disrespect your husband and expect to be respected . Kolewerk ..

It was father's day . He had every right to have gone out with friends/family and stayed out late . It's just a day to celebrate him and he needed to live it to the fullest ...

Making a toast is stuffing things in the middle of two breads and placing in a toasting machine.. Tell me how that's much of a work around 10pm .. if she was that needed to eat around 10pm wouldn't she make something for herself to eat .. like I said op was even lenient asking her to make toast .. if it were me, any food I pronounced that night must made, i don't care how hectic it's ... You refuse, pack your bags and go to your father's house ..

I don't condone indiscipline...

Thank you.


She really did a number on me. Monster and beast were just a few words.

ScotHarvath:
Even if she was tired, that day was Father’s Day, I prepared the meal we ate all day, c’mon sense or a more thoughtful person won’t have reacted the way she did.


But she did and I reacted too and now I am the bad guy.



These women oo

just imagine...

The lady doesn't deserve you to be candid ...

Villa12:
you go just meet yourself for jail. This is 21st century not 1850 o. Na your neighbour go even first lock you up before her family and friends bounce on you

Try and be realistic with your takes.
Where do people lock up their neighbours because they stood up for themselves by use of force? Just mention one place you witnessed it happen.

How many times have you descended on your in-laws because they had a physical disagreement with your sister? Or you will claim it never happened to any of your female family member?

If you're neighbours can get as much involved in your domestic affairs as locking you up, then you must be the softest, most harmless, and least respectable person on earth.

This is about real life happenings and practical solutions, not about quoting prehistoric dates to sound modern.

Silentgroper:
you're way too soft on her .. you've enabled her too much ... Some females would dare not try this on her husband even asswipes on nairaland chatting shiit all over . . Seriously, if you two have this resolved, you need to change that, it's a must...


Omoh, one woman go come unplug TV when I dey watch am .. Dem never even born am well to change channel while I on the TV . She go waka go her father's house at the next min ..

God knows

Silentgroper:
she should earn her respect if she wants to be respected.. you don't sit at home doing nothing waiting for husband to make provisions for everything the family needs and expect to be respected.. No, it doesn't work that way.. you don't tell your husband "you hate him" and expect to be respected.. You don't talk back to your husband while he's talking and expects to be respected.. You basically don't disrespect your husband and expect to be respected . Kolewerk ..

It was father's day . He had every right to have gone out with friends/family and stayed out late . It's just a day to celebrate him and he needed to live it to the fullest ...

Making a toast is stuffing things in the middle of two breads and placing in a toasting machine.. Tell me how that's much of a work around 10pm .. if she was that needed to eat around 10pm wouldn't she make something for herself to eat .. like I said op was even lenient asking her to make toast .. if it were me, any food I pronounced that night must made, i don't care how hectic it's ... You refuse, pack your bags and go to your father's house ..

I don't condone indiscipline...

A woman who was trained properly would have called or texted that what are we eating tonight or what do you want to eat. I was the one who thought of dinner for the family and bought the items.


I really took a lot of shit from her and anything I try to correct her monster and beast get thrown at me.

RavagedHeart:
Try and be realistic with your takes.
Where do people lock up their neighbours because they stood up for themselves by use of force? Just mention one place you witnessed it happen.

How many times have you descended on your in-laws because they had a physical disagreement with your sister? Or you will claim it never happened to any of your female family member?

If you're neighbours can get as much involved in your domestic affairs as locking you up, then you must be the softest, most harmless, and least respectable person on earth.

This is about real life happenings and practical solutions, not about quoting prehistoric dates to sound modern.

You're ignorance bro

Indirectly you mean it's not possible to be married in Nigeria without having to fight physically with your spouse? make me understand biko.

Yes, my community has used army to beat up a man messlessly for beating his wife. They're still together till today living in peace. Brothers had beat up their sister's/fiends husband who trespassed. If you never see doesn't mean it doesn't exist bro. E dey happen wella. Imagine i get a younger sister that got married. And she has like 3-4 brothers. Automatically the husband no go misbehave because he know say he go too over collect

Domestic violence is no longer tolerated in our society o.

Silentgroper:
you're way too soft on her .. you've enabled her too much ... Some females would dare not try this on her husband even asswipes on nairaland chatting shiit all over . . Seriously, if you two have this resolved, you need to change that, it's a must...


Omoh, one woman go come unplug TV when I dey watch am .. Dem never even born am well to change channel while I on the TV . She go waka go her father's house at the next min ..

empty barrel. You go sleep for jail with watery beans

Villa12:
empty barrel. You go sleep for jail with watery beans

Tah, try me ...


Sleep for jail for wetin when I no kill pesin pikin..

Jokes apart.. I can't never tolerate half of what that Lady is dishing to op .. I no too get patient like that.. Although I happen to be a gentle guy oo

maasoap:
And there are no men that respect their wives? A man shouldn't voice out if his wife is becoming antagonist or showing attitude in the house? If I treat you right, if I play my part, shouldn't I expect you to do the same or I shouldn't complain when you don't?
Any partner who's tired of marriage should walk out of it instead of making life hard for the other partner in the name of woke or whatever

OP could have divorced since.

I’m a supporter of divorce especially when such deep bitterness seems to be between them. Instead he chose to come here to recruit women haters into his campaign of calumny.

If it’s not that hard, why is it an issue then for you to do it yourself?

The rest of your comment is best for someone who married their servant and not spouse. We know it’s online gra gra

Silentgroper:
she should earn her respect if she wants to be respected.. you don't sit at home doing nothing waiting for husband to make provisions for everything the family needs and expect to be respected.. No, it doesn't work that way.. you don't tell your husband "you hate him" and expect to be respected.. You don't talk back to your husband while he's talking and expects to be respected.. You basically don't disrespect your husband and expect to be respected . Kolewerk ..

It was father's day . He had every right to have gone out with friends/family and stayed out late . It's just a day to celebrate him and he needed to live it to the fullest ...

Making a toast is stuffing things in the middle of two breads and placing in a toasting machine.. Tell me how that's much of a work around 10pm .. if she was that needed to eat around 10pm wouldn't she make something for herself to eat .. like I said op was even lenient asking her to make toast .. if it were me, any food I pronounced that night must made, i don't care how hectic it's ... You refuse, pack your bags and go to your father's house ..

I don't condone indiscipline...

Villa12:
when he gets rid of her will he still run after another woman or marry his fellow man instead?

this your comment lacks sense

See the problem with telling tales is that you forget what you said initially.

ScotHarvath:
I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

ScotHarvath:

She said she is tired and wants to go and if I wouldn’t fight for us, I should let her go.

Silentgroper:
Tah, try me ...


Sleep for jail for wetin when I no kill pesin pikin..

Jokes apart.. I can't never tolerate half of what that Lady is dishing to op .. I no too get patient like that.. Although I happen to be a gentle guy oo

if you don't have patience don't consider marriage bro. This is not about being woke. This generation of women aren't like our mothers likewise this generation of men aren't like our fathers. That's why they always say marriage is not a child's play. It's for matured folks. There are things both parties must tolerate, though not violence or infidelity.

You can sleep in jail if you lay your hand on your wife. No be only when you kill person you fit go jail.

Medici777:
this your comment lacks sense

women is the price truly

cococandy:
If it’s not that hard, why is it an issue then for you to do it yourself?

The rest of your comment is best for someone who married their servant and not spouse. We know it’s online gra gra

online gra gra ...


Hahahaha you can't be too sure Abt that.. I'm gentle and tough simultaneously...

ScotHarvath:
You are very correct. Very correct, she wants to go.


I wish her luck and all the best!

I really want to kick her out now as we speak but I still being considerate because of m the children.

If you kick her out, the whole world will blame you for her bad attitude, just leave her, she will go by herself sooner or later

But when she comes back to her senses and show remorse, forgive her and help her build the relationship

She is the one deceiving herself

ScotHarvath:
Thank you!

You mentioned her family, let me tell you a story and see if any man here can tolerate what I have tolerated.


On our daughter’s naming, her mother called me that she needed money or something. I was about to cut my hair, was even on the seat when the call came in.

I rushed down to my house, only to see her brother-in-law and her friend seating in the house.

I stood in the parlor talking to my wife and this friend totally ignored me for like five minutes, in my living room as if she didn’t see anyone.


My wife didn’t say anything, the brother didn’t say anything. When I asked who the Bleep is this that can’t greet, do you know what they told me?

They said I don’t always calm down that the friend didn’t see me. Now my point is even if my wife was foolish then, couldn’t the elder brother who is supposed to be wiser, speak up and ask the girl whom he introduced to me as his babe that “didn’t you see my in-law”!

They both said nothing and witnessed the disrespect, without saying anything until I lost my temper and walked the friend out of my house.


Guess what, the brother-in-law followed her and don’t come for the naming.

So sorry again! The family has issues and will likely encourage their daughter. I insist, take her to her family and leave her there to stay and disrespect them too.

[quote author=Villa12 post=130533042]You're ignorance bro

Indirectly you mean it's not possible to be married in Nigeria without having to fight physically with your spouse? make me understand biko.

Where did you get that from in my comment? Again. Be real.

Yes, my community has used army to beat up a man messlessly for beating his wife. They're still together till today living in peace.

Good. And this is well tolerated in your 21st century. Even when we both know it never happened like that.

Brothers had beat up their sister's/fiends husband who trespassed.

This is another lie. You won't even enter his compound not talk of starting a fight with him. Fear will not let you, except the man is the lowest of nobodies.

If you never see doesn't mean it doesn't exist bro. E dey happen wella. Imagine i get a younger sister that got married. And she has like 3-4 brothers.
Automatically the husband no go misbehave because he know say he go too over collect

You speak like a child. That shows you haven't been in or experienced real situations like this. Or should I say you completely have a narrow understanding of exertion physical force? Maybe you think it means a civil war starting in the home.
Either way. You don't seem to know how things happen in real life.

Domestic violence is no longer tolerated in our society o.

Where are you even getting this domestic violence you're quoting. I can't seem to trace anywhere it's related to what I said.


Where are you getting domestic violence from the above statement?
I believe you know the meaning of violence?

SweetyZinta:
So sorry for what you are passing through.
I have been seeing people reacting differently and blaming you. Hmmmm I weak! You sound like a good man so here is my advice. Are you from the same state/village? Have you reported her to any of her parents before now?

You need to take her back to her family and tell her family everything she has been doing to you. After everything watch the family's body language, you will know if they support her behaviour or not. After then, still leave her there and go back with your kids alone. Tell her to learn how to treat a man cos you are also tired of her attitude!! Since you work from home, you can be able to take care of your kids, if she insists you can leave the kids with her. Let her stay there for at least a month and see the difference.

Some women are possessed by some spirits and they pressure and kill good men only to realise that they have lost a treasure. May God be with you!

Thank you so much, God bless you!

cococandy:
See the problem with telling tales is that you forget what you said initially.

lol, ok thanks

ScotHarvath:
lol, ok thanks

So which is it?

Did she beg you to stay when you called for separation or did she tell you to go that she hates you and you disgust her? The two statements are polar opposites

cococandy:
So which is it?

Did she beg you to stay when you called for separation or did she tell you to go that she hates you and you disgust her? The two statements are polar opposites

Did it occur to you that they are two separate events?

cococandy:
OP could have divorced since.

I’m a supporter of divorce especially when such deep bitterness seems to be between them. Instead he chose to come here to recruit women haters into his campaign of calumny.

Understand something’s and understand life, if you truly love someone, the simple act of reading negative comments or advise about that person can make you realize the other good aspects of the same person.

You need to think more, there are more sides to everything.

Obviously I want my marriage to work, are you married?

ScotHarvath:
Did it occur to you that they are two separate events?

Yes actually I thought about that.

But someone saying you disgust them is not a mild statement or event

So I find it hard to believe she’d refuse a separation seeing as that would indeed be an answer to her prayers.

Not to mention you’re expecting me to believe she told you these awful things simply because you helped around the house, treated her well and made her your best friend like you initially presented in your story.

Nothing happened that led up those deep bitter feelings. Just a good old Nigerian woman sitting in her living room one day and decided “Mmhmm this man is too good. It disgusts me. How can I insult him for it?”

Really 😏🤔🧐

ScotHarvath:
Obviously I want my marriage to work.

Somehow I doubt that

Because you picked all the “good” things you said you were doing in your marriage and rubbished them and then tried to get other co-signers on to help you discourage other men from doing these same good deeds. And the only people you’re in agreement with are those telling you negative things about her.

It’s not giving that you want it to work.

cococandy:
Somehow I doubt that

Because you picked all the “good” things you said you were doing in your marriage and rubbished them and then tried to get other co-signers on to help you discourage other men from doing these same good deeds. And the only people you’re in agreement with are those telling you negative things about her.

It’s not giving that you want it to work.

Your opinion is very appreciated, thanks

Olu1000:
Really ? Doesn’t the wife of Tinubu know about her husbands finances? Those Mummy GO
like Mummy Folu Adeboye and Mummy Faith Oyedepo who are loyal to their husbands to a fault , don’t they know about the husbands finances? The woman is just rebellious and extremely mean.She probably has another man outside already.There are thousands- if not millions-of women who know all about their husbands finances - even very poor men- but still love them 1000%.Your point here is not generic.Yes ; it’s good for a man to keep some stuffs to himself but a wife knowing everything about her husband isn’t enough grounds to disrespect and loathe him.A good wife would always speak highly of her husband and esteem him highly no matter what.

Even a good woman will go astray and turn evil if she's with a weak man. That's where you fail to understand. Learn life.