₦airaland Forum

eraglory:
please why do you always add "chan" to most of your messages?

peacefull:
Chan is like Ms or Mrs, but not so formal like San or Sama.
Chan is for close person, small kids etc.

I add chan for purples chan is, she is a one of my wonderful and best friend here!
To me, she is a very close friend! So, I add chan for her is with closeness? familiarity? and with friendly love

Sorry, I can't explain very well in English.

Real Love is Dignified

Ladies,

How do you know you've got real love? Is there a simple answer to this question?

Sometimes, when reading relationship problem posts in various women's groups, especially 'high value' and 'femininity' groups, there is often an emphasis on the fact that he provides before they describe the anguish this m a n inflicts on them. They start with the disclaimer that he pays for dates and sometimes gets them gifts (which should really be the bare minimum) - but then, you hear them talking about how their provider also allows his friends/family to disrespect them. Or he makes hurtful comments. Or he sometimes ignores her and shuts her out emotionally. Or he goes on holiday with his buddies and ceases communication during the trip. Sometimes he has a 'female friend' he is 'very close to', and so on.

Yes, there are many women stressed out in relationships due to 50/50 and other dusty arrangements, but clearly, there are also women with 'providers' who are really stressed out, too.

In an age where the bar is so low that it needs to be scraped off the ground, I can see why some women feel they have a catch when a m a n does what he is supposed to do - provide. But this alone isn't the benchmark of a quality relationship. Again, this ought to be the bare minimum.

What's the common element in these stressful 'hypergamous' relationships? There is a lack of dignity. Some ladies believe that they're going to have to compromise some where and some how because they landed one of those elusive 'provider m e n'. They will tolerate disrespect, or even emotional abuse, because he provides. Well, some of these m e n also 'provide' stress, confusion, low self-esteem, doubt, insecurity, and a general threat to a lady's well-being.

Provision is the bare minimum, and dignified treatment should be non-negotiable. Trust that real love doesn't involve sacrificing your dignity - actually, loving couples don't cross certain lines with one another no matter how 'stressed out' they are by whatever challenges they're experiencing in life.

How to prepare yourself for real love - dignified love? One great way is to eradicate any neediness or helplessness that's still lingering. Neediness can turn a woman into a beggar, and nothing can rob her of her dignity faster than being dependent on a m a n for emotional or financial sustenance, or social validation. Create the right conditions for yourself so that you aren't afraid to let anyone go, and don't sacrifice your dignity for any one. Healed feminine women are very strong, and will only hang around where they're respected as well as cherished. And please remember that a m a n who really loves you won't put you in any undignified situations in the first place.

<3

siofra:
Hello, Ladies 👋

I'd love to post articles like the one below everyday. I feel like we would learn a lot from them. There's a link below in case you're interested in following her on Facebook.



Suha Deeb

https://www./thefemininewoman/permalink/1417945465536062/?mibextid=Nif5oz

peacefull:
Thank you so much purples chan!!

I wanna ask you about how many "a" in
greetings?
When I learned how to greet in Yoruba language before on internet, I saw Ekasan and Ekaasan.
Same things like Ekaro and Ekaaro.
I'm confusing.

And about Bawo ni.
What is difference between Bawo ni, Bawo ni o and Bawo ni o se wa?

Please I love to know and I really wanna understand!

Online & Effeminate: M e n Who H a t e on Women

Hi Ladies,

This is just a reminder not to take those m e n who run their mouths online seriously. The internet has given effeminate m a l e s a new playground, and unfortunately there are plenty of women who give them what they so desperately desire - female attention. Yes, even negative attention is delicious to them.

First, how can you tell he's effeminate? If he's picking on a woman's looks, clothes, hair or make-up (this is such catty behaviour) then women should just ignore him. By now, many of us have seen that 'balloon dating' video where a gorgeous woman was rejected by a cluster of clowns for having pretty toes and heavy eyelashes. We see this behaviour replicated in comment threads all over the internet where m e n reject women who don't even know they exist for petty reasons like this. Unfortunately, some women take the bait and start talking about how personality is important, too, or telling these m e n off for being superficial.

Why do they do this? Well, some are on the 'down low', but plenty others are heterosexual m e n who never developed their masculinity. Some of them are mentally stuck in middle-school, and have now moved their childish taunting and bullying over to the internet playground. They're mean to women and get likes and replies as a reward. Masculinity isn't something that m e n just acquire with puberty. Masculinity develops as a result of experiencing hardship, taking on responsibilities, and learning discipline. This is why so many cultures have rites of passage for boys before they can become m e n.

M e n who enjoy taunting women will never have a groundbreaking moment of personal growth because some lady told them off online. Save your energy and turn your backs on these types, because one of your important roles as a woman is actually not to reward loser m a l e s with feminine attention. Being starved of feminine energy compels them to go one of two ways: either they double-down on the bitterness and invest in a s e x robot, or they wake up and start their own leveling up process which does NOT involve the help of a woman. Protect your energy, ladies, and don't let them leech any of it.

<3

i met a guy who was into wildlife/nature photography..
he saw me with my cameras, equipments etc and said that was attracted him cus he felt I was into such as tourists use mainly their phones to take pictures
when I explained to him that it was just a hobby, he asked me out for a drink later that he's intrigued but danladi refused blatantly that's he's not comfortable with the whole thing and said we should discuss all that there and then.
(I respect danladi as my chaperone on this trip and I know he also has to report to my husband too so I don't even argue his decisions or anything, and he's good company already so I don't need another).
so we went to a corner to talk and he said he's passion is photography and he left his job as a business auditor for a branch of microsoft In the UAE to pursue this permanently.
I asked him how he feeds cuz I know photography cannot sustain his expensive lifestyle( I looked at his watch, skin and footwear.. that's how I know wealthy men)
he casually told me trust fund..
apparently from a very wealthy home . an emirati, or a royal who knows.. I didn't ask.
but he seemed Westernized as he spoke great English without an accent.. he's also single and hinted he's going to be single for a long time to pursue his passions.

I smiled..it confirmed my age long beliefs.
people mainly into arts, and unconventional jobs are doing it for passion because their survival needs are met.
I didn't know how to explain to my mom that I was traveling to Italy to showcase my art pieces and I was to PAY them to feature me 😂😂😂..and I don't fuxkinh have a job.
it wasn't a job..I wasn't expecting to be paid..
I just wanted to be recognized 😂😂 even though I am an amateur(the effing audacity)
but to someone who is using such to survive..it's different.

so, understand that people on survival mode think very different from people thriving.
even financially..
that's why you should stop listening to broke men..they can't relate .. they see spending money on a woman is simping or a bad financial decision etc..cus these men are operating on scarcity mindset.
this photographer was ready to take me on date simply because I was doing what he's interested in. and he was going to spend..
maybe he won't see me again cuz I am tourist..my skin colour and jjc behavior gave me away.. but he doesn't mind because he has it .
as I was leaving to go back to danladi who was waiting, he invited us for a bonfire exclusive event but we were to leave the city immediately...
but I felt refreshed.. the world is big and vast.. so many ways to live .. there's no box anywhere
. I just saw a glimpse of an experience thru the eyes of another ❤️

purples25:
Konnichiwa, Peacefull chan. 👋🏽
🌞

I am sorry for this late reply. Hope this explanation can help you understand better...

Ekasan or ekaasan means good afternoon. Despite the difference 'aa' and 'a', they both mean the same thing.

Bawo ni, bawo ni o and bawo ni o SE WA, these are all ways to ask 'how are you?' though that 'Se Wa' is an additional 'are you alright?'. It's just an extra enquiry about the well being of the person you are greeting.

purples25:
@ peacefull

No, you're not disturbing me friend. That 'o' is just a familiar sound, usually used when you are very familiar or jovial with the person you're speaking to. Hope this helps.

peacefull:
Happy Sunday purples chan!
I hope you and your family are good and having a wonderful Sunday!

Thank you so much for taking your time again!
I now understand very well than before!
I really really appreciate you!!

Please say hi to your baby, my Nigerian grandchild! ♡(о´∀`о)♡

purples25:
Thank you, peacefull chan! I'm wishing you a great Sunday too. I'll greet the baby, say hi to your family for me too 😊

Proserpina:

babythug:
How’s everyone doing?

Are we all making progress with our “new year new me” ish!? Fit fam? Fasting? Ati beebe lo lol

Wish you all a good rest of the day

😘

pocohantas:
Thanks Babythug. No new me. Make them manage the old one like that abeg.

That your Limca enter eye. Been forever!

pocohantas:
Thanks Babythug. No new me. Make them manage the old one like that abeg.

That your Limca enter eye. Been forever!

Iamblessed85:
samueltemi337 Will
Message you soon for me.

PP123:
your moniker alternative account right 😹

Iamblessed85:
Not really. My therapist

PP123:
dey play

You're already exposed to people of nairaland

We already know your moniker alternative accounts

Stop capping

siofra:
but I felt refreshed.. the world is big and vast.. so many ways to live .. there's no box anywhere
. I just saw a glimpse of an experience thru the eyes of another ❤️


https://www.facebook.com/61552114806018/posts/pfbid0VKhiJUJJwurF5a4NL4NsFBba3QCTBdrtjHN8kXFStaop1NyG6Lb9fbFgmACwzLXDl/?mibextid=Nif5oz

doggedfighter:
Pocohantas ,can you point me to that thread you made mention of those DIY wall hangings, please.




I really need it now. Needs to revisit it as I want to do same.

pocohantas:
Please explain better, DG.
DIY what? 🙂

doggedfighter:
I am talking about where you made some wall hangings using wood by yourself.

Do you remember ?

pocohantas:
Chai. I deleted that post o.
So sorry, DG. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

doggedfighter:
💔😭

How are you doing, Poco ?

pocohantas:
No vex biko. I won't try that again. 😩
I am doing great. I hope you are good too. 🫂

pocohantas:
No vex biko. I won't try that again. 😩
I am doing great. I hope you are good too. 🫂

doggedfighter:
No probs 🙂

I am .