₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]What of your in-laws ? They need to know what you’re going through

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]I have a friend just like you , she's 21 and married at 18 by her own will , she was not forced , or begged by her family , she's tall and beautiful , light skinned and well endowed but not fat , a little closer to slim than fat, before she married she was glowing , I admired her from far , girl to girl.

She married a drunkard in his 40s , he's old , ugly and broke , got pregnant , gave birth , lost the child , people rejoiced including me , we believed she was with him because of the pregnancy but even after the death of her child , she refused to let him go.

He insults , disgraces her , beats her , blames her for his drunkenness , blames her for the death of their son , he doesn't give her money , she's still depending on her elder brother who is younger than her husband with more than a decade , common phone this husband won't get for her.

He couldn't afford to pay for an attire she needed for her brother's wedding , he chases me away because he doesn't want her to have friends .

She sold the phone her brother gifted her to pay for a prayer work for him but her money has gone in vain .

She has refused to let him go , she believes that she means everything to him and that he loves her , he just doesn't know how to show her , I act like I can accept it , every time I give my advice it falls on deaf ears .

I don't know why its happening but I do hope she realizes herself on her own before its too late.

Her whole family is begging her to come back , promising to help her further her studies but she says she wants to be with him whilst going to school , he said she should get pregnant instead and now she's trying to get pregnant again

Always report him to his family, take a screen shut of when he beat you, keep some records, most ladies that divorce today are sleeping with married men, and regret being lonely, buy condom at home and tell him to use it with you when he want sex, be sexy at home too, wear clothes that will make him ask for it and pray always, may God help us all

stupid woman he loves you for real

I didn't see this early..

Madam, was it that you didn't see all the negative signs you made mention of or what? If yes, why did you go ahead to marry him? If not, then I'm sorry you made a big mistake..

And for the men seeing this, I want us men to know that, in as much as we're always against the wrong women, make we men still know say we dey fvck up o. Like, you see how some men misbehave terribly and you begin to wonder if he's despicably wicked or just being stvpid! Imagine a man like the OP's husband, na their type dey spend lavishly outside but provide little or nothing at home..

As for the OP, I advise that you leave him or let him be. You can't change an adult baby that doesn't want to change. Return to your father's house, when him eye neat or clear, he will come knocking on your door of forgiveness and acceptance. Or develop a mind of your own, cut him off emotionally. Pause every atom of love you have for him (that's if you can) and focus on your two lovely kids for the now. Because if you died (God forbid!) as a result of the constant emotional trauma, the adult baby of a husband you had would get married to another woman, who will deal with your kids mercilessly. "Be as gentle as the dove and as wise as the serpent"...

BeigJawnson:
YOU HAVE REALLY HIT THE NAIL ON ITS HEAD. LEFT FOR THE OP TO USE HER BRAIN... IF SJE DOESNT WANT TO DIVORCE AS YOU'VE ADVICE, LET HER SEPARATE FROM HIM...

Thanks brother.
No one can do it for her except herself.

We await results.

Augustine2244:
Oga,why are you being offensive like a Rottweiler on attack mode?
Lol!
I understand not!
Why are you reacting like a female king cobra disturbed at her nest while incubating her eggs?
Who offended you this morning?
Don't take it out on me,Abeg!
Look for the source of your frustration and vent your anger there.

Guy na you dey offend me

You don’t have a husband rather it is a horseband. I am sorry you have to deal with this.

Magicalsineros:
I'm trying to understand what you meant by ''He is a good man''

When you hear a woman defending his cheating, drug addicted, gambling, arm roobery husband even in bad behavior that are harmful to herself and children like this, just know is a man who provides everything for her, like came to rescue her and her family members from poverty. otherwise, no serious minded woman will.



@op, from your writeup, you don't need any advice but I'm only worried for your children.

I pray God protect them from the toxic lifestyle happening there.
As for you, when you're ready, we will know

You seems not to understand that african women loves men who has money and fuxk well, any other problems attach to it is not a problem...

rapheal5:
You seems not to understand that african women loves men who has money and fuxk well, any other problems attach to it is not a problem...

That's why I said I'm only worried for her kids.

Someone beat you, cheat on you, abuse drugs abuse you physically and emotionally but your first statement is my husband is a good man. Abeg maybe you should help my with the definition of good man.

You can't help a person that doesn't need help

E no easy o family is love keeping praying and do your best as a wife he go change this is why before getting married look well and watch very careful marriage is not something we should be fighting inside believe God and read Matthew 6:33 God go do am for you God no create marriage to fight and quarrel read that verse and pray he say put him first then every other thing will be added which means your marriage also

Are you serious or you're just being sarcastic 🤌?

Double0h7:
Be very clean, stay quiet, wear red pant and bra to bed and satisfy him very well! You have a good man and good men are scarce nowadays so hold on tight to your good man. Continue to endure and one day you will be rewarded with a long marriage, your own family and the glorious title of Mrs so and so! Just hold on!

This statement is half sarcasm half seriousness

Double0h7:
Be very clean, stay quiet, wear red pant and bra to bed and satisfy him very well! You have a good man and good men are scarce nowadays so hold on tight to your good man. Continue to endure and one day you will be rewarded with a long marriage, your own family and the glorious title of Mrs so and so! Just hold on!

Thank God for your patience, I celebrate you and you've proven that you have endurance.
My advice is this:
As long as drugs are involved, there's nothing much that you can do. It only gets worse except he's helped or begins rehabilitation.
It will definitely affect your finances except he's a drug lord/supplier. He would never come to his senses until he's off drugs

So, do yourself good by planning on how you'd stay away from him for a while and fend for yourself till you can vouch that he's off drugs and thinking properly. Be unapologetic about this decision and it's high time you tell/report to the relevant stakeholders (family members and relatives that should be aware). There's no point hiding it . He might kill you by mistake one day or give you na injury you may never recover from

Sonnobax15:

Na wa..

I'm speechless indeed...

But then again, what's yours will always be yours, meaning he'll definitely come back to your arms someday no matter how long it may take . ......A time will come when your husband will realize it's cold outside and that it's only his wife and kids at home that can save him from the harshness of life,and not the ones he's been frolicking with outside.....

You mean when he is plagued by an illness in old age and can't control his sphincter? When he need someone to nurse him?When he is relying on meagre pension? Nah

We are wiser. You can't give sidechicks the best of your years and come back to my arms when all is drained of you.

Tightpussy2024:
You mean when he is plagued by an illness in old age and can't control his sphincter? When he need someone to nurse him?When he is relying on meagre pension? Nah

We are wiser. You can't give sidechicks the best of your years and come back to my arms when all is drained of you.

. Your moniker tho

Well, he'll return.......And he won't do that during his years of senility but when he's still young and healthy,and kicky

victorazy:
Guy na you dey offend me

Ok,oo!

Double0h7:
Be very clean, stay quiet, wear red pant and bra to bed and satisfy him very well! You have a good man and good men are scarce nowadays so hold on tight to your good man. Continue to endure and one day you will be rewarded with a long marriage, your own family and the glorious title of Mrs so and so! Just hold on!

U are wicked

iLoveYouToo:
After reading the second paragraph , I went back to read the first two lines, that’s when I realized OP is not serious.


You reiterated that your husband is a good man.

Please what are the qualities of a bad man?

When you see black and keep calling it white the problem is WITHIN YOU

My be he has his off and on period......and ofcourse has money.........Altogether ....her brain must have developed a coping mechanism ( Stockholm syndrome)


Besides u cant compare fvcking of druggie..
when i was in 300l...one girl lives with the werey cultist that smokes weed like mad
....the weret beat her like she's his slave....her eyes will swell up when we see her....but hours later she will not us rest with her loud moaning at night....

Separate from him for sometime...

The marriage is abusive, and he takes hard drugs...

So jus separate for some times, monitor him from a distance, pray for him from a distance, counsel him from a distance.

You said he is a good man, I believe you...
He is under an influence of unseen forces, that's why he keeps falling back to the habits...

One day he might break your head, being under the influence of these forces...he will cry and ask you for forgiveness....but you go suffer pain.

He fit kill you one day and regret it....but u don die....

To avoid these things, help him from a distance.

Shalom!

Divoc19:
Family members can’t stop him from cheating or endangering this woman’s mental health

Exactly, I know...it's because she mentioned somewhere in her write up that she has not told her own side of the family about all she's been going thru at the hands of hubby. So I'm even wandering why not. The man will finish her

Augustine2244:
Thanks brother.
No one can do it for her except herself.

You are always welcome my brother... It is her who can

Sonnobax15:
. For you to have this kinda mindset,it means you must be a good woman..

That's how they all turned Good girls into Baddies....

They would still later insult her for being worse than their expectations.....

It only takes one hangouts for the Op to unleash all her sexual Demons 😈 on Another Man That's when the modafuqca would start crying River benue & River Niger ...

Overspoilt Man

Magicalsineros:
I'm trying to understand what you meant by ''He is a good man''

When you hear a woman defending his cheating, drug addicted, gambling, arm roobery husband even in bad behavior that are harmful to herself and children like this, just know is a man who provides everything for her, like came to rescue her and her family members from poverty. otherwise, no serious minded woman will.



@op, from your writeup, you don't need any advice but I'm only worried for your children.

I pray God protect them from the toxic lifestyle happening there.
As for you, when you're ready, we will know

She is Suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, a kinda Diseases that makes Someone stucked with their Abusers .....

That Diseases is a Death Sentence!

Run oh!

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]I think at this point, you have exhausted all ideas to make it work out well

I will suggest you start all over again, this time around,

Love him more
Pay attention to him
Give him attention
Dont ever talk harshly to him
Encourage him
Serve him his best meals
Give him good gist

Lastly, don't waste your time monitoring him or his phone

Then pray for him

You have to do all these with passion and love because, you said he is a good man

If you push him out, remember he has tones of women he has been dating outside and they may collect him from you

May God give you the grace to succeed with this assignment

[quote author=Diamond1605 post=131217011][/quote]Your husband is irresponsible. If you want to live to tell the story...leave now before we write rip on your Facebook wall