₦airaland Forum

Zonefree:
My only advice is, Don't let your wife stops you from finding the love of your life.

leaving ones marriage to go back to an Ex is not a wise decision

there was a reason you and your Ex broke up in the 1st place, if the love you share then couldnt savage a breakup whats the guarantee the lost n found love would stand the next storm

@successmatter, your wife didnt just change , bro you must have seen some signs but these urge to play a modern man make us blind to things we could have seen
Moving forward, your wife situation is not hopeless, however you have a job to do and i mean you have to resensitize your woman, maybe she acted the way she did because she felt you are understanding and she is playing on it.
Naa you know your wife pass, you need to resensitize her esp. n areas you feel she is letting you down, Oga stop forming Macho sire a team spirit in her

dkidd:
That thing U call a wife no send U at all... she might even be getting it elsewhere too. It's better to be divorced and marry the one that loves U truly than to waste this short life on a woman hell bent on sending U to the grave on time. Thank God U have no kids together so it's easy now. Do the needful oga and be happy.

But you would have advised a woman to endure and make changes were she in his shoes.👠

Carcholce:
And don’t let the love of your life to stop you from finding a side chick.

Sound advice

you never can study anyone enough, people change daily, and you also need to understand that no one is perfect, we all have the bad side we all need to manage to co-exist.
its your choice to move on, but its best you let her know not secretly doing things.
but think it thru, coz even the one that is giving you joy now can change tomorrow

As long as it ends with contemplation. We all nursed the same idea at some point in our marriages but as the wise ones always say time heal all wounds.

Listen to Mitchell Obama portrayal of her thoughts on her marriage

People no longer use their head to write. It is well

super story

You will still fall victim to that your ex. She is playing a script for you exactly the way your wife played hers till you wife her.

The main thing here is that you fail to learn, you have not really drawn out any lesson from your experience,
Like a woman, you are beclouded by emotions,
When a man directs his optimal emotions the wrong way, especially in marriage and relationships, women will NEVER spare him their ruthlessness. (Not Thier fault though)

What you need to do.

Learn about the nature f women pertaining to men, marriage and relationships,
Understand the concept,

By then

You will know that you lead your woman, and not walk or work side by side her.

You will know that as a man, you MUST run your home in accord with your finances. (Remove your eye completely from your wife money)

You earn N120k and you are living in a 700k house, isn't that ridiculous, or do you expect her to cover your ridicule.

What happened to those houses that your 2 or 3 Months salaries can cover?
Plan and run your home according to your capacity, her money is advantage for quick sourcing, lend from her and repay every kobo.

Can't you see that responsibility in your home are beginning to get tilted. Reactions from most affected party is imminent, especially when that party is the woman.

Your woman naturally look upto you, for leadership and provision.

Sta your ground, lead and provide for in all your capacity.

She needs it, her nature looks up to it.

She may appear not to like it at first, but she will give yo kudos as time goes on.

Men out there!
Lead your women with love and selflessness.

From Day1 he should've seen the writing on the wall and start making plans. How can you be having premarital sex....and stop immediately after being married? That's a big red flag.... a return to owner issue. He should frustrate her at home .... make demands that she will be unwilling to meet and send her packing...then file for divorce. After all ...it may likely be what both of you wanted

Zonefree:
My only advice is, Don't let your wife stops you from finding the love of your life.

Shut up your mouth before the sword of the Lord butcher you.

Stop cruising on Marital issues

Successtube:
We have no kids yet. I have asked her so many times what she uses her money for, but all I get is silence.

By the time you initiate divorce, her compound eyes go clear.

But wait first, how do you guys endure a woman under the same roof for a whole 2_3 years.

Most women are like that sexually especially after having children. They start having excuses for sex and almost want to dictate when to do it unlike when you both were dating that she's always ready. As a man too it happens when you're having a lot of challenges during which you don't even remember sex and if your wife is the high libido type she might think you've started cheating cause your libido previously matched hers. The best thing is to discuss it with her and arrive at something . The money issue os different

People don't know shit and I won't say shit
1. Even if u first date her for 20 years, it won't change anything
2. All women are the same, so the option of one better Ex is delusional
3. Just slow things down and live within your income. Trying to satisfy her and the children or live up to her level will only lead u below the ground level (i.e die prematurely)
4. Don't keep quite on sex stuff and even get family or pastor to intervene and if there is no change, u can get a second wife, but don't divorce her.
5. The only thing that should make u divorce your wife is if u have a hint of her extra marital affairs. Ma rose rara.....
6. Enjoy life with ur lovely wife and expect soonest God's gift children.
I come in peace

Trust me when i say im never getting married to a Nigerian. Having tasted relationship with a white girl there's no going back. To any Nigerian who thinks im saying RUBBISH i pray you get to experience at least once in your lifetime life in the West and their women. You will find Nigerian girls repulsive. Not all of them, but the vast majority.

If she starting rebooting like 1999 MSos I will quietly move on, to better my life and peace

Treasure17:
Your babe turned wife that was sexually active during your dating period now develop hatred for sex. It could only mean one thing but I hope you don't get to finds out. At this point she's bigger than you and also probably taken care of your responsibilities which is in itself a dangerous part. I pray you get a better job better than hers cause of not there's going to be a world war in that house. When a woman thinks she's bigger than you , she will look up to someone bigger than her. A woman is a woman. Your ex shouldn't really be an option though.

Everybody, The ELDERS have spoken

Tales by moonlight. I recognize the work of an author anywhere.

This is really serious!!! In my own opinion,I would suggest you involve your parents
I believe there's more to her actions that she need to reveal. God will help you

I love your number 4

ABANGWABOI:
I am not interested in relocating abroad..
Even if I want to relocate abroad.. I would go alone and leave her in Nigeria...
I rather leave her to sleep around in Nigeria than relocate her with my hard earned Mon in Millions and then she wrecks me over there with their feminist laws...

Never will I relocate my wife abroad...
Woke fools that did it , Most of them are regretting it including the ones that are ashamed to admit it..

Honestly, most of us Nigerian men with wives abroad are suffering. I don't know the difference between a Nigerian woman born from 1990 till marriageable age and the devil

All these things you talk never reach reason for you to divorce na, these are just minor issues you can talk and persuade your wife about if you no be simp, no marriage perfect, another place way u dey go, you know wetin dey there? You dey young to dey switch marriage at this early, out of everybody you fit go back to na your ex, your past, if your ex be the best for you why you no marry her, oga relax try, marriage get many advantages you go learn and she go learn from you, una go learn to change each other, if she do something way u no good approach as man, na you sabi, all the best for you !

Carcholce:
And don’t let the love of your life to stop you from finding a side chick.

This is the mistake y'all young people make. Love is not the most important thing in marriage for men! The woman can love the man to high heaven but the man just need to love her 60/70% and they are good to go.

You already know that the right thing for you to do is to end your unhappy marriage, but you are merely looking for validation.
My advice to you is to do that which your heart seeks.
This life is too short.
Now that you don't have children, it is best for you to move on.
Otherwise, if you procrastinate further and children come, it might become more complicated.
Trust me, it is extremely difficult to take the decision to pull out of a marriage with children.

Karleb:
You people will make rubbish decisions and start disturbing our peace.

Yes, that's life. There's nobody that has not made one rubbish decision or the other.

Naturally it takes the Grace of God for a lady not misbehaving if she has money more than her spouse.
Secondly, as a man one needs to double up his hustling, Although, Only Almighty God bless someone hustling also.
The bedrock of marriage is love and perseverance. If these two ingredients are lacking, it would surely crumble.
My guy have honestly conversation with your spouse, if there are no changes , kindly change your vision and mission from her.

Lifemanage:
If U don't have to beat an employee to put him or her on line, there are advantages one can discontinue to put an adult in like without physical assault. Options are numerous. A husband is a father in proxy of his wife...that's the significance of the father handing over the lady to the man. A man must take charge both in logic and emotions to handle his wife..Simpleness of attitude do not help marriages

In this case, the woman doesn't even care about him. To take charge will eventually lead to divorce because ahe won't yield.

Fear women. Simply maintain. Na so the one you put in house made u think you must marry her. It's like you never learn. Guy, if landlord chase Una out no be only you. No carry everything for head. She is a help mate. Tell her what you want and what you dislike without expecting reply. No jump from frying pan to fire. No be only your marriage be like that. Be not deceived.

Successtube:
“Pick up the pieces and move on” - That's exactly what I'm trying to do.

Bro forget all these motivational quotes and all sort we use and fool ourselves better face reality

A lot of marrried men here can relate with your story cos in naija wives are not so generous with money and sex
i have listened to a lot of couple program and at a time i attended magistrate court with my lecturer in law .... then i realized a lot of men in marriages are sex starved

Women are like puppies, how you train them or what you condone is what you get, foundation matters however your situation is not hopeless, besides going back to your Ex doesnt guarantee the happiness you anticipate , if she sef pack enter nd change nko, i hope you have a enough Exes for these experiment

Nonexisting1:
Brother, highest people will talk about your divorce is two weeks and everyone will move on to other issues. Go find your happiness before you die miserably. I would have suggesed you find a way to assist yourself sexually if your wife isn't a sex freak and you are. The main problem is that she is selfish, wicked and inconsiderate. Brother leave the marriage now. Any woman that can stand by and watch her husband sell landed property to foot family bills when she could have done something tangibly to mitigate that is a witch and should never be under any man's roof.

l agree..

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

Don't just contemplate, divorce that witch NOW before she gets pregnant and births a child that will tie you to her forever!

Successtube:
My brother that's not the case. If she was taking care of responsibilities, it would have been a different ball game. But I'm still the one taking care of the financial responsibilities. She would not buy food items until I send her money. Recently I even noticed she steals my little money.

She earns 300k monthly and you earn 120k monthly and yet she is stealing from your own money again? Wait na you and devil follow go collect list from her people? No be witchcraft be dis?