₦airaland Forum

It’s the 4th day of the month and here you are again, waiting for that elusive salary like it’s the final episode of your favorite TV show.

You know it’s coming—at least, you hope it is—but the suspense is killing you.

At first, you’re all smiles, even planning a small chop and drinks with friends to celebrate. Maybe you will finally buy that shawarma you’ve been eyeing or at least upgrade from Indomie to spaghetti and corned beef. Salary’s coming soon, right?

Days pass, and the optimism starts to wane.

Your bank app has become your best friend and worst enemy—you check it like it’s a spiritual exercise, hoping to see those precious figures pop up. But no, the account balance stares back at you, as empty as your Uncle promises.

You suddenly become an emergency chat buddy with your colleagues, asking every minute if they have seen alert. With the hope that maybe it’s network that’s delaying yours.

Then the subtle panic sets in.

The loan app message comes in with all the politeness of someone who knows you’re in a bind: “Just a gentle reminder, loan is due.”

The bills are piling up like dirty dishes in a bachelor’s kitchen, and you start doing the maths in your head. “If I buy only rice without meat, trek to work, and conveniently forget about data subscription, maybe—just maybe—I can stretch this last figures in my Opay”. If only they could make you the minister of budget and economic planning.

At this point you could probably write a cookbook called "101 Ways to Eat Rice: A Broke Person's Guide to Culinary Desperation."

But life isn’t cooperating.

NEPA (or whatever they’re calling themselves these days) won’t understand that you’re on a strict ‘cash-light’ diet. And the way the generator is looking at you, it’s clear it needs servicing—no excuses.

You’re now contemplating all kinds of wild ideas, like convincing the malam at the corner shop to let you pay for bread with a promissory note or seeing if you can somehow stretch one tuber of yam into breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the week. Those Whatsapp memes have finally become your reality like the one I saw this morning talking about breakfast ideas with 300 Naira.

And then it hits you…

The salary isn’t just late; it’s operating on Nigerian time. You know, the kind that makes “five minutes away” actually mean “when I finish this errand, sha.”

You start laughing, not out of joy, but that dry, resigned laughter of someone who knows that, in this country, survival na work.

Remember surviving is winning, Franklin ( or whatever your name is).

But somehow, you push through. You find small wins in the struggle, like discovering an old 500 Naira note in a pair of jeans, or turning plain rice into a gourmet meal with just pepper and salt.

You’ve got resilience in your DNA, and you know that when the salary finally decides to show face, you’ll treat yourself.

Maybe it won’t be a feast at KFC, but a chilled malt and a meat pie from the nearest Iya Friday will do.

After all, in this Naija, man must wack—even if it’s just to remind yourself that one day, you’ll look back at all this and laugh. Or cry. But probably laugh.

Because in the end, if Naija has taught you anything, it’s how to survive with a smile, even when the odds—and the bank balance—aren’t in your favor.

Nicely done, with endless humour....only worked for wages then,so I can't really relate....


I sell herbs tho

Keyword "survival"

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Dis is a brilliant read, I could not stop laffing all tru. na only salary earners go fit relate.

Biqsahm:
Dis is a brilliant read, I could not stop laffing all tru. na only salary earners go fit relate.

Thank you very much for all the comments boss.

Jacktheripper:
Thank you very much for all the comments boss.

d pleasure is all mine bro.