₦airaland Forum

essentialone:
I have read a lot from people's experience and advice about the dangers of carrying your wife abroad to the Western world, as they suddenly turn to beasts of the wild, with endless possibilities of meanness and wickedness to their husbands, over every minor issue.
I am not one of those who believe in all women are not the same jargons.
I am not also one of those who believe that people will change. Nope, people only reveal what they have been concealing, when place or circumstances change.
I also believe in learning from the experience of others, as it is better to be safe than to be sorry.
Now, I am in a dilemma.
1. Keep all the family here in Nigeria?
2. Relocate abroad alone and come back to visit wife and children from time to time?
3. Take the risk of relocating abroad to one country with wife and children?
4. Doing Visa for wife and children to country A with the pretense of joining them later, then fake that my Visa to join them there was denied. While I actually do Visa for myself to an entirely different country, probably in a different continent.

Now this is the crux of the matter.
1. I love my children so much and would prefer them to grow up abroad in a country with better amenities and opportunities.
2. My wife has some aggressive attitudes that are not okay. While it can be managed in Nigeria by ignoring it, or walking away when it's heated, it can prove to be actually toxic and disastrous overseas.
3. The children are still too young to be allowed to travel alone with the Father.
4. Funds is not really an issue as I have suffered and struggled hard and raised something in the region of 9-figures.
5. And I do not like to personally remain in Nigeria. I am not one of your patriotic Nigerian citizens who will want to stay back and rebuild Nigeria. After all, even Tinubu and Buhari and Atiku and Obi lives abroad. 😂 This dilemma is what has delayed starting the process as I have already procured Passports for the entire family.

If you are the one, how will you resolve this dilemma?

Earthstorms:
Do you want to remain married?

If you want to be married in the actual sense of the word, then you have to live with your family at one location.

You can not be in one country while your family is in another country while claiming married.
People do those type of arrangements out of necessity, not what you should do if it can be avoided. From your comment you can afford to relocate with your family.

My advice is this
Discuss your fears with your wife.
In the discussion agree to a divorce if freedom abroad gets into her head.
Relocate to the country of your choice.
Respect your wife in line with the culture of the country you relocated to.
Make your wife earn a living in the new country, that way divorce settlement does not become a reason for her to ask for divorce.

Be prepared for a divorce if the marriage does not work out. No need forcing a bad relationship and no need staying away from your family in separate countries just because you are afraid of divorce.

Most importantly, ensure you earn more than your wife and be able to foot your bills. Many women find it hard to be submissive to a man that can not foot the bills.

Earthstorms:
Do you want to remain married?

If you want to be married in the actual sense of the word, then you have to live with your family at one location.

You can not be in one country while your family is in another country while claiming married.
People do those type of arrangements out of necessity, not what you should do if it can be avoided. From your comment you can afford to relocate with your family.

My advice is this
Discuss your fears with your wife.
In the discussion agree to a divorce if freedom abroad gets into her head.
Relocate to the country of your choice.
Respect your wife in line with the culture of the country you relocated to.
Make your wife earn a living in the new country, that way divorce settlement does not become a reason for her to ask for divorce.

Be prepared for a divorce if the marriage does not work out. No need forcing a bad relationship and no need staying away from your family in separate countries just because you are afraid of divorce.

Most importantly, ensure you earn more than your wife and be able to foot your bills. Many women find it hard to be submissive to a man that can not foot the bills.

Thinktank02:
Now, if the concern is mainly that your kids get a good form of education, consider staying for a while in Nigeria while you monitor their progress. @OP, Abroad is wild, many parents do actually regret it if proper monitoring isn't available to guide and regulate the emotions of those kids especially during teen age when the hormones rage and peer influence is high.

Even parents who live with their wards sometimes lose control over them, as I know someone who can't even correct or talk to the child anymore. The ideology of the west encourages that the child should be allowed to form their own opinion and the fact that you can't actually discipline in a way that instil fear and respect in the child's mentality has made many of the children lose control and do as they please.

Also, if you consider the option of separation from your family, you may get the same outcome. The presence of a father in a home plays a significant influence in how your kids turn out later in life.
Boys rebel a lot especially during their adolescent age if they lack the fatherly role in guiding and tampering their unruly excesses. Also girls will miss your presence and they turned out to seek fathers in the opposite sex as they age which make them desire a male figure in their lives, so most times they are ruined emotionally and probably may come to hate men in the future mainly because of your absence. So your role is very crucial in being in their lives while they develop and grow into maturity.

Please,for your wife, if you suspect or know she has some foul attitude to you in Nigeria, if you permanently locate her to the west, you may lose her. Why? the law gives some many awkward rights to the woman as against what we have in Africa. So these privileges get into their head and most times, many do misbehave.
If you know that your wife has no ride or die attitude as concerning your marriage and relationship, I beg you in the name of God don't bring her. I KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING.

Many Nigerian women don't subscribe to the African and the biblical principle of the family as the man being head and the woman's submission,
to the authority of the man as the leader of the home. So when they get abroad, they conceive that if, in case of an altercation, they can easily send you out, own half of what you have worker for all your life and still get you to support their children while they have the liberty to do as they please(getting as many c*rks as possible) they tend to throw you under the bus and relieve themselves of your exertion and control over of the home.

In the west, women have the ability to earn and also enjoy equal rights and even more privileges just for being a woman. So they have upper hand as the case may be, some taking that to account seek to lord and boss over their husband. Tell him to also do domestic chores that they haven't complained of even while catering to the whole family in Nigeria. So the manual lose it and try to excert his influence which if not handled properly may lead to violence or a rebuttal from her because she understands the law is in her favor.

Also women as they age also tend to get bored of the marriage, the authority of the man and his control and dominance especially if they start to earn more or rise above the man in the relationship.

They feel he's now below par, and they can't submit to him. To the key is for the men to rise and strive earnestly to always be a quality leader of the home so he doesn't lose his authority. Because the society offers equal opportunity for growth and sometimes you'll discover if the woman is qualified, I mean as the skills to be employed, they pick the woman over the man except the man displays exceptional ability over her.

I have so many things to say but let me conclude here, if you didn't meet your wife as a virgin or you suspect any unruly or sketchy behavior towards the opposite sex while in Nigeria then be prepared to share her with other men or divorce as soon as she gets her liberty in the west.
Why do I say this? Most times in the west, she's more in contact with her work colleagues than you, especially when you both keep a job to meet the high demand of the utilities of the home.

In the progress, she may get drawn to one of her male colleagues or a randy boss whose leadership skill she admires. Men who find her attractive or wabts to pipe her will make a move on her, and if consent is given, she gets laid with.
Once she has a taste of another c*rk, this is the beginning of the end of your marriage most times except she's really family oriented or has a strong religious mentorship, if not that marriage is over sooner than later in most times.

I can give you the full gist of how a woman has chemical(hormonal) imbalance, especially when they cross 30yr and how they get tired of their husband's boring sex life if you want. But I'd stop here for now

Thanks

essentialone:
Thanks a lot.

ghettochild:
Very bad advice.
Knowing the wife has a bad character that's encouraged abroad.....
Lol, he shd discuss his fears with her do she can tell him she will b a good wife only to get there n change.
Dear OP, just jejeli go abroad,then bring ur 2 of ur kids in study n mk sure the one here goes to very good universities.
Then b coming home to visit. Then only do visiting visa for wifey to come visit..

HarunaWest:
Remain in Naija. Enrol your kids in a good school where they can get solid educational background.
If you already have a hard time handling her here in Nigeria don't dare take her abroad, I rinse and repeat,dont dare.
Stay Safe

Ayjay44:
you have a networth in 9 figures ?

Like how much?

100 million naira?

essentialone:
Between 100 million naira and 999 million naira.

ednut1:
You have beaten and abused your wife severally in Nigeria . You think she wont revenge when abroad?

You continued your cheating escapades in abroad.

essentialone:
If you are the one, how will you resolve this dilemma?

advanceDNA:
Why this narratives all of a sudden.? So all men beat their wife.? Women paint this narrative that all the evil they do is because their husband made them do it..so thats now the new explanation for all their BS......when they fvck around, men caused it...paternity fraud, men caused it, refuse to support your husband men caused it, ..murder, men caused it....okay ooo......you guys should keep reinforcing bad behavior from our women......e go touch everywhere

ghettochild:
Very bad advice.
Knowing the wife has a bad character that's encouraged abroad.....
Lol, he shd discuss his fears with her do she can tell him she will b a good wife only to get there n change.
Dear OP, just jejeli go abroad,then bring ur 2 of ur kids in study n mk sure the one here goes to very good universities.
Then b coming home to visit. Then only do visiting visa for wifey to come visit..

essentialone:
I have read a lot from people's experience and advice about the dangers of carrying your wife abroad to the Western world, as they suddenly turn to beasts of the wild, with endless possibilities of meanness and wickedness to their husbands, over every minor issue.
I am not one of those who believe in all women are not the same jargons.
I am not also one of those who believe that people will change. Nope, people only reveal what they have been concealing, when place or circumstances change.
I also believe in learning from the experience of others, as it is better to be safe than to be sorry.
Now, I am in a dilemma.
1. Keep all the family here in Nigeria?
2. Relocate abroad alone and come back to visit wife and children from time to time?
3. Take the risk of relocating abroad to one country with wife and children?
4. Doing Visa for wife and children to country A with the pretense of joining them later, then fake that my Visa to join them there was denied. While I actually do Visa for myself to an entirely different country, probably in a different continent.

Now this is the crux of the matter.
1. I love my children so much and would prefer them to grow up abroad in a country with better amenities and opportunities.
2. My wife has some aggressive attitudes that are not okay. While it can be managed in Nigeria by ignoring it, or walking away when it's heated, it can prove to be actually toxic and disastrous overseas.
3. The children are still too young to be allowed to travel alone with the Father.
4. Funds is not really an issue as I have suffered and struggled hard and raised something in the region of 9-figures.
5. And I do not like to personally remain in Nigeria. I am not one of your patriotic Nigerian citizens who will want to stay back and rebuild Nigeria. After all, even Tinubu and Buhari and Atiku and Obi lives abroad. 😂 This dilemma is what has delayed starting the process as I have already procured Passports for the entire family.

If you are the one, how will you resolve this dilemma?

essentialone:
I have read a lot from people's experience and advice about the dangers of carrying your wife abroad to the Western world, as they suddenly turn to beasts of the wild, with endless possibilities of meanness and wickedness to their husbands, over every minor issue.
I am not one of those who believe in all women are not the same jargons.
I am not also one of those who believe that people will change. Nope, people only reveal what they have been concealing, when place or circumstances change.
I also believe in learning from the experience of others, as it is better to be safe than to be sorry.
Now, I am in a dilemma.
1. Keep all the family here in Nigeria?
2. Relocate abroad alone and come back to visit wife and children from time to time?
3. Take the risk of relocating abroad to one country with wife and children?
4. Doing Visa for wife and children to country A with the pretense of joining them later, then fake that my Visa to join them there was denied. While I actually do Visa for myself to an entirely different country, probably in a different continent.

Now this is the crux of the matter.
1. I love my children so much and would prefer them to grow up abroad in a country with better amenities and opportunities.
2. My wife has some aggressive attitudes that are not okay. While it can be managed in Nigeria by ignoring it, or walking away when it's heated, it can prove to be actually toxic and disastrous overseas.
3. The children are still too young to be allowed to travel alone with the Father.
4. Funds is not really an issue as I have suffered and struggled hard and raised something in the region of 9-figures.
5. And I do not like to personally remain in Nigeria. I am not one of your patriotic Nigerian citizens who will want to stay back and rebuild Nigeria. After all, even Tinubu and Buhari and Atiku and Obi lives abroad. 😂 This dilemma is what has delayed starting the process as I have already procured Passports for the entire family.

If you are the one, how will you resolve this dilemma?

advanceDNA:
Why this narratives all of a sudden.? So all men beat their wife.? Women paint this narrative that all the evil they do is because their husband made them do it..so thats now the new explanation for all their BS......when they fvck around, men caused it...paternity fraud, men caused it, refuse to support your husband men caused it, ..murder, men caused it....okay ooo......you guys should keep reinforcing bad behavior from our women......e go touch everywhere

WhizdomXX:
If your wife has those issues, I suggest you sign an agreement with her that she won't leave with the children on flimsy reasons.
But sincerely Sir, I doubt such an agreement will be honoured by a court of law in the USA.
Personally, I'm a young man and would like to know how you raised your wealth.

1Sharon:
but all women will call the police on their husbands?

essentialone:
I have read a lot from people's experience and advice about the dangers of carrying your wife abroad to the Western world, as they suddenly turn to beasts of the wild, with endless possibilities of meanness and wickedness to their husbands, over every minor issue.
I am not one of those who believe in all women are not the same jargons.
I am not also one of those who believe that people will change. Nope, people only reveal what they have been concealing, when place or circumstances
change.


I also believe in learning from the experience of others, as it is better to be safe than to be sorry.
Now, I am in a dilemma.
1. Keep all the family here in Nigeria?
2. Relocate abroad alone and come back to visit wife and children from time to time?
3. Take the risk of relocating abroad to one country with wife and children?
4. Doing Visa for wife and children to country A with the pretense of joining them later, then fake that my Visa to join them there was denied. While I actually do Visa for myself to an entirely different country, probably in a different continent.

Now this is the crux of the matter.
1. I love my children so much and would prefer them to grow up abroad in a country with better amenities and opportunities.
2. My wife has some aggressive attitudes that are not okay. While it can be managed in Nigeria by ignoring it, or walking away when it's heated, it can prove to be actually toxic and disastrous overseas.
3. The children are still too young to be allowed to travel alone with the Father.
4. Funds is not really an issue as I have suffered and struggled hard and raised something in the region of 9-figures.
5. And I do not like to personally remain in Nigeria. I am not one of your patriotic Nigerian citizens who will want to stay back and rebuild Nigeria. After all, even Tinubu and Buhari and Atiku and Obi lives abroad. 😂 This dilemma is what has delayed starting the process as I have already procured Passports for the entire family.
Don’t scatter your Marriage now, you can leave wife and children abroad while you come to Nigeria and go there, you can be using a month their, 2 months here. So far you have money.
If you are the one, how will you resolve this dilemma?