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Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyLady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" (38087 Views)

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Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Konquest:
Eriokanmi:
True. I know a number of them. You can never know the real character of your wife until after she relocates with you overseas. Many of them copy the western ladies who don't even have a culture, those who have children like dogs for several men. They always don't enjoy a happy home.

No single mum I met ever told me they're living happily as single mums. There's one of them, whose children always say they miss their dad and they'd like to see him. She always got angry hearing this. One day she agreed to take them to a meeting point with her ex. On getting to that place, she kept a distance and asked the children to go see their dad briefly and come back. She actually timed the meeting. When the time was almost up, she faced the wall and started crying uncontrollably cos of the bond between the children and their dad. They were gisting, cracking jokes and laughing aloud. Instead of 2 hours, these children spent 5 good hours with their dad. They didn't feel like leaving.

I told her to reconcile and seek a reunion but she's still doing shakara. She's a very successful nurse in a major hospital on 3rd avenue in NY. I won't mention the hospital. Whoever knows that place would know the hospital I'm talking about, built with red bricks with many floors. The man had moved on. As an aeronautical engineer, he's not doing badly too at Boeing. He got that job 1 year after the woman chased him out and took custody of the children. Amazingly, he's still single. I guess he's taking his time cos of the horrible experience
It's surreal... But insightful.

It's ego-tripping that's responsible for all the break-ups. The younger men also have to get in tune with reality by working on their inner game. Even those of us who are older have to maintain that knowledge base of how modern relationships work while in long-term relationships.

But I know of a couple of RNs of Nigerian descent in the U.S. who are still married. The younger RNs might be having issues of commitment due to previous exposures to unrealistic social media expectations or based off of reading too much of romance novels which tend to portray HIGHLY unrealistic scenarios. They bring these twisted perspectives into marriage and boom, things end up going south really fast.

I think for the sake of the kids mental and social well-being, both the NY-based RN and her ex who she is separated from should go for therapy and learn more about "emotional intelligence and love language" techniques. If the gentleman and the lady you talked about get in tune with their love languages, I believe they'll be able to get back together again since the lady was crying uncontrollably which shows that she indeed has some deep emotional pain and regrets, but the ego thing is what is holding her back.

But first off, they SHOULDN'T get back together until both of them internalized the specifics of the different love languages and have also learned more about emotional intelligence. I'd suggest that the man should LEAD the way first by upping up his inner game if he still loves her. I really love the cute picture of the special bond those kids have with their dad. But in a worse-case-scenario, if that reconciliation doesn't pan out, then they can both lead their separate lives via intentional co-parenting.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by membranus: 3:29pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
Alot of these Nigerian men put their wives in nursing school and turn around years later when she qualifies to ask for her cheque later on.
Their real intention was to make her the cash cow of the family.

When are these men not using that extra money they have to invest in themselves so they're better equipped to handle the finances of their home?

Alot of them think nursing roles are feminine jobs that are beneath them. That's why they rather their wife train as a nurse and become the family's money-maker.

When the man's ask for her salary that's when the war starts.
Fake narrative to justify your sisters evil deeds. No man in America will ever ask for his wife's paycheck, or rely solely on her for his family upkeep.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f): 3:30pm On Sep 20, 2024
Golan007:
I am still asking one question:

You mean a woman who didn't have 2 kobo to rub together believes her benefactor is beneath her once she begins to earn?

Is a home about competition or partnership?

Indeed, this generation is not worth compassion.
Are you not getting the point?

He's not her benefactor. He trained her as a nurse for his own selfish reason.


He did it so she becomes the breadwinner, not him. That's not her benefactor, he's a user.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f):
membranus:
Fake narrative to justify your sisters evil deeds. No man in America will ever for his wife's paycheck, or rely solely on her for his family upkeep.
Oh really? Ask those Nigerian men that killed their nurse-wives. They did it because she didn't want to give him her salary.

It happens in Nigeria too, the women are breadwinners and just don't talk about it and the man takes all the glory.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 3:36pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
Are you not getting the point?

He's not her benefactor. He trained her as a nurse for his own selfish reason.


He did it so she becomes the breadwinner, not him. That's not her benefactor, he's a user.
Does she really pay for his upkeep?

Or does she contribute to the home, including the kids, they'd likely have?
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f): 3:37pm On Sep 20, 2024
Golan007:
Does she really pay for his upkeep?

Or does she contribute to the home, including the kids, they'd likely have?
Yes. That's the definition of a breadwinner. Hope this helps!
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 3:38pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
Yes. That's the definition of a breadwinner. Hope this helps!
You are talking rubbish.

Anyway, this is for the barely educated men who indulge in bringing to US some worthless women.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by APOPTOSIS: 3:38pm On Sep 20, 2024
bluerose1414:
I don't mean to be rude, I'm honestly asking but how is Texas not a rich state? It has the second largest economy after California and is one of the biggest producing states in the country. It is even larger than New York. Texas' GDP is $2.66 trillion and Africa's GDP is $3.1 trillion. One state in America out of 50 could almost overtake the entire continent with 54 nations.
Good you stated the facts.
I made my point based on Minimun wage...
Yes, houses are cheap but the natural disasters there are second to none.
What's the minimum wage of Texas compared to 15 other states.
Use your smartphone.
Even Texas is nowhere close to Maryland, Arizona, New York, not to talk of California
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f): 3:42pm On Sep 20, 2024
Golan007:
You are talking rubbish.

Anyway, this is for the barely educated men who indulge in bringing to US some worthless women.
They're barely educated for a reason. I have already given my reasons. It's not my fault if you fall to understand.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by descarado: 3:42pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
Alot of these Nigerian men put their wives in nursing school and turn around years later when she qualifies to ask for her cheque later on.
Their real intention was to make her the cash cow of the family.

When are these men not using that extra money they have to invest in themselves so they're better equipped to handle the finances of their home?

Alot of them think nursing roles are feminine jobs that are beneath them. That's why they rather their wife train as a nurse and become the family's money-maker.

When the man's ask for her salary that's when the war starts.
If it's only salary, that's better.
They will never help in the house.
They want a traditional wife as well as the money.
As time goes on, the woman is mentally and physically stressed. She make money and give the man to send to his family like it's his money. Yet the family badmouth her. The man will never open up that the money is from the wife.

When I wanted to travel outside the country, everybody was like go and study nursing. They will push and push you. Some work more than 12 hours a shift go home and become a wifey. Cook and wash. Some men can't even load the washing machine.
The worst is the money you give them, they use to have side chick. Some of these wives know and it's a stab in the heart.
The things I see here, gosh, any man that come out to cry, I have no pity at all.
What they do here is shocking and they do it boldly and with pride.


As for those who earn more than their wives, no be naija man again. He willstill behave like one regardless.

No woman want a divorce or a broken home. All the broken homes I have seen and intervened in, 98% is caused by the man.
And guess what, if they are married to non Nigerian, they behave.

And some of these non Nigerians don't even care to make a single Nigerian dish for them, yet they are in it enduring. Why nit replicate it for your naija wife. Is she your slave?

Tired of these stories.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by APOPTOSIS: 3:42pm On Sep 20, 2024
Konquest:
You're absolutely right. I earlier saw that part of his post that you corrected too. Texas' economy that is oil and gas-based CANNOT be found wanting when you make a roll call of American states and there are wealthy folks too of African and African-American descent in Texas... Although in terms of distribution, Atlanta has the largest demographic concentration of Americans of African descent who are millionaires in the entire United States.
Newyork has the highest number of millionaires in Dollars followed by California.
The minimum wage of Texas is no where close to that of New York and California.
We all know that. However, that doesn't mean Texas is the poorest. But it's poor compared to 15 states in terms of minimum wage. I believe the Natural disasters there would have accounted for this thereby giving the place a cheap lifestyle and cheap housing..
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by TheMostComplex1: 3:45pm On Sep 20, 2024
saphiere:
.There are a lot of single mums I agree.
But this only got to prove how irresponsible Nigerian men are.
Or were these women impregnated by their fellow women?
You have finally removed the remaining legs of the table.
You really cracked me up
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by oluwaahmed: 3:46pm On Sep 20, 2024
Nigerian men don't know their worth in the USA and it's simply because they keep their circle small or mostly mingle with only nigerians. You mean after doing OT on graveyards, keeping your expenses small all that hardworking you will now go and marry a naija girl? Men those men are game less. The same naija girl while dating her will ask you for money, you buy her Samsung phone, send her dresses etc cheesy chai. Meanwhile men gallant with oyigbo girl dem meet for school married her with less than $100 spending(except of course the engagement ring). Some are even lucky enough to marry the one that her parents have gifted a house with mortgage already fully paid years ago all because of $10 flower & $10 chocolate on her bday and $15 dollar movie. Dey mumu urself with naija girl whose only love for you is a ticket out of poverty.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 3:46pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
They're barely educated for a reason. I have already given my reasons. It's not my fault if you fall to understand.
I have agreed with you.

Many of their wives are not worth marrying.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by lymelyte(m): 3:47pm On Sep 20, 2024
saphiere:
.There are a lot of single mums I agree.
But this only got to prove how irresponsible Nigerian men are.
Or were these women impregnated by their fellow women?
women are the gatekeepers of SEX. Why will you spread your legs for every tom, dick and Harry to have his way?
Women must learn how to filter men coming thier way..it is a skill they have to learn.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f): 3:47pm On Sep 20, 2024
descarado:
If it's only salary, that's better.
They will never help in the house.
They want a traditional wife as well as the money.
As time goes on, the woman is mentally and physically stressed. She make money and give the man to send to his family like it's his money. Yet the family badmouth her. The man will never open up that the money is from the wife.

When I wanted to travel outside the country, everybody was like go and study nursing. They will push and push you. Some work more than 12 hours a shift go home and become a wifey. Cook and wash. Some men can't even load the washing machine.
The worst is the money you give them, they use to have side chick. Some of these wives know and it's a stab in the heart.
The things I see here, gosh, any man that come out to cry, I have no pity at all.
What they do here is shocking and they do it boldly and with pride.


As for those who earn more than their wives, no be naija man again. He willstill behave like one regardless.

No woman want a divorce or a broken home. All the broken homes I have seen and intervened in, 98% is caused by the man.
And guess what, if they are married to non Nigerian, they behave.

And some of these non Nigerians don't even care to make a single Nigerian dish for them, yet they are in it enduring. Why nit replicate it for your naija wife. Is she your slave?

Tired of these stories.
Exactly. They want to be an alpha and omega but yet their wives dey feed them. You want to be a controlling alpha ontop your wife's money.

They want a submissive provider but yet a traditional woman. Such hypocrisy.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f):
Golan007:
I have agreed with you.

Many of their wives are not worth marrying.
Neither are they grin

They want to be alpha and omega ontop their wife's money. Explain how that will work.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by descarado: 3:49pm On Sep 20, 2024
Golan007:
You are talking rubbish.

Anyway, this is for the barely educated men who indulge in bringing to US some worthless women.
Educated or non educated, the same, the same.
Change your mentality of owning your wife and you will have a good marriage.

Sponsoring her education is never a reason to turn her to slave.

Men sponsored girlfriend to uni and name them, and moved on. Your wife is not your retirement ticket or public purse that you and your family can control.

The moment a wife resists that selfish control, she becomes jezebel
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by descarado: 3:50pm On Sep 20, 2024
Golan007:
I have agreed with you.

Many of their wives are not worth marrying.
And some of the husband are better than sperm donors?
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 3:58pm On Sep 20, 2024
descarado:
Educated or non educated, the same, the same.
Change your mentality of owning your wife and you will have a good marriage.

Sponsoring her education is never a reason to turn her to slave.

Men sponsored girlfriend to uni and name them, and moved on. Your wife is not your retirement ticket or public purse that you and your family can control.

The moment a wife resists that selfish control, she becomes jezebel
We are saying the same thing.

Why should an educated man doing well in US, go to Nigeria to imprt a wife who would ultimately divorce him, when he can get the same treatment from a prettier American lady?
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 3:59pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
Neither are they grin

They want to be alpha and omega ontop your wife's money. Explain how that will work.
I agree with you.

A wise Nigerian man should know it is better to marry an American woman that would at least be prettier than the Nigerian woman who would do exactly the same thing.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 4:01pm On Sep 20, 2024
oluwaahmed:
Nigerian men don't know their worth in the USA and it's simply because they keep their circle small or mostly mingle with only nigerians. You mean after doing OT on graveyards, keeping your expenses small all that hardworking you will now go and marry a naija girl? Men those men are game less. The same naija girl while dating her will ask you for money, you buy her Samsung phone, send her dresses etc cheesy chai. Meanwhile men gallant with oyigbo girl dem meet for school married her with less than $100 spending(except of course the engagement ring). Some are even lucky enough to marry the one that her parents have gifted a house with mortgage already fully paid years ago all because of $10 flower & $10 chocolate on her bday and $15 dollar movie. Dey mumu urself with naija girl whose only love for you is a ticket out of poverty.
Exactly what I'm telling Sharon and her likes.

Make Nigerian men continue to dey mumu themselves.

Nonsense.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Alsenora: 4:01pm On Sep 20, 2024
Lolllsss.... this is hilarious
Emmanuel909090:
Women are so ungrateful, if you like sponsor her to heaven, she can still tell God to lock the heaven gates against you.

Understanding this will help you plan better.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by omooba969(m): 4:01pm On Sep 20, 2024
oluwaahmed:
Nigerian men don't know their worth in the USA and it's simply because they keep their circle small or mostly mingle with only nigerians. You mean after doing OT on graveyards, keeping your expenses small all that hardworking you will now go and marry a naija girl? Men those men are game less. The same naija girl while dating her will ask you for money, you buy her Samsung phone, send her dresses etc cheesy chai. Meanwhile men gallant with oyigbo girl dem meet for school married her with less than $100 spending(except of course the engagement ring). Some are even lucky enough to marry the one that her parents have gifted a house with mortgage already fully paid years ago all because of $10 flower & $10 chocolate on her bday and $15 dollar movie. Dey mumu urself with naija girl whose only love for you is a ticket out of poverty.
You na man! 👍

I read someone's comment on NL about two days ago, he wrote, 'in a relationship where there is a survival instinct, love is absent'.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f):
oluwaahmed:
Please say naija women don't categorize. Indians, Koreans, naija-Americans & white people believe in dignity of labor and dont care whatever job the man is doing as long as the man can pay his own part of the family expenses. My white friend she's in IT she has plenty money but her husband is an electrician. I asked them hubby if he would like to start his own biz and he refused saying him no get time for tax and staffing issues that he's earning $50 per hour and he's OK with it. There are many. My Indian GF spent every weekend in my house for a year fùckin and cooking only for her to go marry an Indian she barely knew cos of her parents. Sponsored the guy abroad even gave him money to buy car fir Doordash till he finds his feet. The problem is naija men don't know their worth.
All women care about the jobs men do, stop lying.


Seems like your Indian GF didn't see your worth either grin She left you to go fvck her cousin and yet Nigerian women are being brought into your discussion grin Are we the cause of your failed interracial unions? grin
Your mumu self really thought your Indian GF will bring your black self home to her parents?


If that Indian woman refused to marry the man her parents wanted(likely her cousin) what do you think would have happened to her?
Have you heard about honour killings?

If she can chose what her parents want over you, what does that say about the tight-knit bond her family has over her? A whole adult.

You know zilch about Indians.

Keep comparing your relationships with outsiders. The dynamics is just not the same.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by AngelicBeing: 4:03pm On Sep 20, 2024
FameGlory:
That's is how my Uncle who lives in USA for more than 20yrs came back in 2020 to marry a Nigerian lady.

My Uncle filed for her to come and join him in USA.

Lady went for her USA Spousal visa interview in September 2022.

After 2 weeks, my Uncle fell sick with stroke after hearing she failed the interview.

The Visa Officer gave the wife conditions to bring "Evidence of Marriage".

His job didn't give him Health insurance and he didn't have private health insurance so he was brought back to Nigeria in 2023 for treatment.

His job was not too strong in USA.

America refused to treat him.

This lady was in Imo state working and never came to see her husband whom we were now taking care of in Lagos.

We called her and she kept on giving excuses that she is working.

The day she came, this lady came with Camera Phone and was just snapping series of pictures of both of them together.

She snapped over 200 pictures of herself and my uncle.

Snapping pictures with a man that is sick and managing to recover.

I suspected something suspicious and told my family about it.

In December 2023, we got a call that the lady has traveled to USA finally angry

Though we have no proof.

Meanwhile my Uncle is still in Nigeria recovering from stroke.

He can't even walk as we speak.

I am so angry right now angry

She used my Uncle to travel to USA for her own personal gain.

Last week, her old father in the Village came and brought back the bride price my uncle paid angry

Everything was just a trap angry

My uncle was just a vehicle they used for their daughter to move to the USA.

Who knows if this stroke affecting my uncle is even a spiritual attack from her and her old father in the village?

Men please be wise.

Some women are evil.

I will open a thread to share this story soon to warn single men especially those in USA.

God will help us.

*************
Please how can I confirm if somebody is living in USA?
I want to confirm what we were told.
I need help.
Thank you.
Chai, very sad story that happened to your uncle sad
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by omooba05: 4:04pm On Sep 20, 2024
No matter how wealthy,how physically,mentally, socially fit you are, Nigerian women will never be grateful.. My Naija men if u are yet to marry pls dont do Nigeria.. If its chad or Niger women no problem
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f): 4:04pm On Sep 20, 2024
Golan007:
I agree with you.

A wise Nigerian man should know it is better to marry an American woman that would at least be prettier than the Nigerian woman who would do exactly the same thing.
Knock yourself out grin
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by Golan007: 4:05pm On Sep 20, 2024
1Sharon:
Knock yourself out grin
grin
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by 1Sharon(f): 4:07pm On Sep 20, 2024
FameGlory:
That's is how my Uncle who lives in USA for more than 20yrs came back in 2020 to marry a Nigerian lady.

My Uncle filed for her to come and join him in USA.

Lady went for her USA Spousal visa interview in September 2022.

After 2 weeks, my Uncle fell sick with stroke after hearing she failed the interview.

The Visa Officer gave the wife conditions to bring "Evidence of Marriage".

His job didn't give him Health insurance and he didn't have private health insurance so he was brought back to Nigeria in 2023 for treatment.

His job was not too strong in USA.

America refused to treat him.

This lady was in Imo state working and never came to see her husband whom we were now taking care of in Lagos.

We called her and she kept on giving excuses that she is working.

The day she came, this lady came with Camera Phone and was just snapping series of pictures of both of them together.

She snapped over 200 pictures of herself and my uncle.

Snapping pictures with a man that is sick and managing to recover.

I suspected something suspicious and told my family about it.

In December 2023, we got a call that the lady has traveled to USA finally angry

Though we have no proof.

Meanwhile my Uncle is still in Nigeria recovering from stroke.

He can't even walk as we speak.

I am so angry right now angry

She used my Uncle to travel to USA for her own personal gain.

Last week, her old father in the Village came and brought back the bride price my uncle paid angry

Everything was just a trap angry

My uncle was just a vehicle they used for their daughter to move to the USA.

Who knows if this stroke affecting my uncle is even a spiritual attack from her and her old father in the village?

Men please be wise.

Some women are evil.

I will open a thread to share this story soon to warn single men especially those in USA.

God will help us.

*************
Please how can I confirm if somebody is living in USA?
I want to confirm what we were told.
I need help.
Thank you.
At least he brought back the bride price grin He was given a refund grin

Tell me, if the wife had a stroke, would the husband still want to be with her?
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by NothingDoMe: 4:08pm On Sep 20, 2024
stacyadams:
Wetin nurse do you? grin
You say?

I nor dey abeg. Nothing when Nurse nor dey see.
Re: Lady Reveals Why "A Lot Of Nigerian Nurses In America Are Single Mums" by descarado:
Golan007:
We are saying the same thing.

Why should an educated man doing well in US, go to Nigeria to imprt a wife who would ultimately divorce him, when he can get the same treatment from a prettier American lady?
Most educated men from Nigeria to abroad don't get their dream jobs hence they do menial jobs.
Nigerian men still think nursing is a woman job. You can easily get employed with nursing degree.
They will study engineering and expect work from the moon.
I know a lady from rivers state who works 3 jobs in uk. Was in uk as a student. Sponsored by brother but is married. The husband, a dependant can't do anything. He don't even know how to make garri.
Wife will work and school. She later gave birth. Child was still born with loads of problem and this man can't even look after his own child yet he is not working and don't want to work. Said all the jobs are beneath him.
Fast forward to less than 2yrs, it was her family that filled divorce on her behalf when they visited without her knowledge. She want to keep her marriage at all cost but she was dying
That man will say all manner of things to badmouth the wife.

There are thousands of Nigerian husbands like that man abroad. Real fact.

I'm not saying Nigerian women are perfect but believe me, most of these hostilities are caused by the men. We all know our men has self esteem issue. Once you conquer that, you will start seeing marriage and your wife differently and will enjoy your marriage.
He went back to naija.
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