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|I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Divine89: 12:40pm On May 22, 2020
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.
When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.
But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.
Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.
After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.
I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.
I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?
Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.
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|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Nobody: 12:42pm On May 22, 2020
Na wa o, hmmm.. what you put your uncle through is just the height of it. I'll advice you forget about your last two kids and also forget about asking for forgiveness from those you've offended. The pain you caused them will only take the grace of God to forgive. Forget the past and everyone in it and start afresh.
236 Likes 16 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Righteousness89(m): 12:44pm On May 22, 2020
Deep... really Deep.
My Sister, My Bible tells me that " For all have sinned and Come Short of the Glory of GOD"
If there is sin, there is also Mercy!
Praise GOD You are still alive because it's only the Living that can obtain Mercy. Irrespective of all You have done and those who have looked down on you and Disowned you due to your dirty past, There is a Loving FATHER who is Available to Receive you , Purge you ,Clean you up and Make you the most adorable.
HIS Name is JESUS CHRIST..
Man can fail you
Pastor can fail you
Parents can Disown and Fail u
Uncle and aunties can fail u
Your Twin can Fail and Disappoint you
I can Fail and Disappoint you
Only JESUS will never Fail, disown or Disappoint you. HIs hands are Wide open to Receive and Forgive you.
My Admonishment to you is this;
Put All the Challenges , Events and Troubles away.
Take your Focus to JESUS CHRIST.
Follow HIM with all of your Spirit, Soul and Body.
Let HIS Word be your food.. Let HIM be your FATHER, Mother and Partner. Let HIM be your Pirioty
You will suddenly notice that all the Burdens will be lifted off your shoulders .
I Believe you have a job or some means of income.
Search for a Bible Believing place of Worship or GENUIE Believers of like minds. Don't Focus on the Pastor! Focus on GOD..
As for your kids, Uncle, Aunty , Parents and all who have Abadoned you.. The Master who has The Heart of Everyone in His Hands, He will Restore all of them to you in due Season.
Leave all those Worries and Face JESUS CHRIST The Prince of Peace.. Walk with HIM with all your Heart. Love Him with all your Heart
I Pray For you that as you seek GOD ALMIGHTY, you will find HIM.
I Pray For you that as you turn to GOD as your Focus , the Peace that passes all Understanding will envelope you
I Pray For you that as you Completely Surrender to JESUS CHRIST, you will smile again and Everything that you have lost will be Restored to you IN THE NAME OF JESUS.. AMEN
I see you being a Great light of JOY Soonest
651 Likes 41 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Millenniumlady(f): 12:51pm On May 22, 2020
This is deep but i think those men played you for having kids for them try to get custody of the kids so you can start earning from child support.
12 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by ahnie: 12:58pm On May 22, 2020
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Divine89: 12:58pm On May 22, 2020
Millenniumlady:My children are in the custody of the french authorities, according to them I will never have custody of them till they reach 18 years old because I am an unfit mother. only God grace can help me to have them back. Thank you
60 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by ibkayee(f): 12:59pm On May 22, 2020
This is heavy...by acknowledging your wrongdoings and apologizing you are taking responsibility for your actions, which is at least a step in a better direction and that's good, but your family members aren't obligated to forgive you unfortunately and it may or may not happen, most you can do is hope and/or pray (if that's what you're into)
I don't know anything about the custody process/logistics, but as far as things that are actually within your control I'd advise you to focus on taking care of yourself and seeing how you can best contribute to your kids' lives going forward (if possible and even if it has to be from a distance)
67 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Millenniumlady(f): 1:02pm On May 22, 2020
Divine89:Go let them know you're a change person so you can get you children back......Child support is not something to joke about you can build/buy a house from the cheque you'll be receiving from their dad's annually
8 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by ahnie: 1:02pm On May 22, 2020
Lemme invite the Christian elders to chook mouth in this matter.
Honestly your case is a dicey one...very weighty....My God!
Elders please hurry up.
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by dawnomike(m): 1:04pm On May 22, 2020
You really need to start your life afresh on a clean slate...
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Coborona: 1:08pm On May 22, 2020
This is deep and a long read
I feel so sorry for you, cos this is the definition of a wasted life
But it's never too late
You need to be closer to God, we are not perfect and we all have our flaws
You need to make peace with your uncle that cursed you if he's still alive, if not... You need to break the yoke spiritually
Good thing you have changed... But an addict can easily go back... So stay away from those triggers
The Lord is your muscle
85 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by bukatyne(f): 1:10pm On May 22, 2020
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by adoreyou(m): 1:12pm On May 22, 2020
You should channel your energy in getting back your children& d only way you can achieve that is to proof to authorities dat you have turned a new leaf.Make this practical by joining a support group& doing charitable works.Wish you goodluck in your quest.
36 Likes 1 Share
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by sisisioge: 1:13pm On May 22, 2020
I hereby pray for you as a Christian that you at least receive forgiveness from those you've hurt as they continue to sensibly socially distance themselves from you.
As for your two youngest kids, may they find good homes for them soon.
As for yourself.... May God have mercy on you. W
18 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Nobody: 1:14pm On May 22, 2020
Dis à Dieu que tu as personnellement péché contre lui en actes, en pensées, et en paroles. Le pardon est une relation avec Dieu; par la prière, nous pouvons également amener les autres à pardonner.
18 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Nobody: 1:16pm On May 22, 2020
hmm,this is deep and I really don't know what to say,your family needs to forgive you before you can experience total peace.Never stop asking for their forgiveness.
10 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by adebayour26: 1:17pm On May 22, 2020
Do you have a job?
The past is dark actually but you can't go back to it.
Forgive yourself, am sure God has forgiven you.
Get busy with your job. Study the Bible. You're just 31. Build yourself. You can involve yourself more in humanitarian service. With this, you'd be satisfied with the new life you have.
7 Likes 1 Share
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by LadySarah: 1:24pm On May 22, 2020
Well. Faith without works is dead. What do you do presently apart from studying the Bible?
I'm sure they can't hand the children to a jobless single parent.
The summary is that you have a whole lot of convincing to do. To the authorities, your foster parents, your children and yourself.
MAY God help you
Thses system needs to be replicated in Nigeria. ALOT of children are been abused in their homes by unfit parents and those ppl that stay in one room and give birth every year.
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Ningen(m): 1:29pm On May 22, 2020
What a terrible past.
Honestly, you're not fit to raise anyone.
Your ‘kids’ deserve better.
Please don't interfere with their lives.
If you've really changed, then move on.
Forgive yourself and love them from afar.
Sorry but I pray you stay far away from them.
85 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Mariangeles(f): 1:38pm On May 22, 2020
These are just trying times which shall pass.
Don't ever give up your faith because your time of restoration is near.
It might not seem like it, but it'll definitely happen.
Trust in God and in His word. "I'll restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten..."
"I know the thoughts that I think towards you; thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end"
Hold onto God's words as a lifeline and never go back to your old ways thinking it is pointless to change. "Old things have passed away..."
You're now a new creature to God and in Christ. Your old life does not matter any more "...behold all things have become new"
You matter to God
Be consistent with your new ways, the new you, and before you know it, people will start to see and accept the new you. It might take time. Be patient.
The reason why people are finding it hard to forgive is that they don't trust that you've changed for good. Give them time, they'll eventually come around.
I pray that your heart be filled with the perfect peace only God can give in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by graciamore(f): 2:14pm On May 22, 2020
Divine89:..thank Gos you have found peace with God, those uncles of urs must have forgiven you but decide not to have anything to do with you, the most important thing is peace with God ...I will advice you to get this message by Pastor Paul Eneche "The Trap of Bitterness" ...forgive yourself and pray to God to give you a new life, let people see you differently. God will see you through
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Divine89: 2:44pm On May 22, 2020
Righteousness89:Thank you very much for the prayer I receive and believe in Jesus name . I am hard working , i work 2 jobs cleaning, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. As I am typing I am at my second job I will finish at 7pm
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Georgekyrian(m): 2:52pm On May 22, 2020
I'm sorry, you'll find relive
6 Likes 1 Share
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Righteousness89(m): 3:00pm On May 22, 2020
Just do Exactly as I stated!
Do not allow for pity from anyone!
Take the Challenges behind! Move Forward with GOD and your Job..
I Will Hear your Testimony!
@ Divine89 If you can ,Send me a Pm
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by SweetCunt97(f): 3:05pm On May 22, 2020
Will read later biko
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by iupac120: 3:17pm On May 22, 2020
Always pray for them and God will touch their hearts to see that you did all in ignorance.
Stay in the grace sister
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by samuel19222(m): 3:57pm On May 22, 2020
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by usj(m): 4:07pm On May 22, 2020
This is seriously seriouse!
You ran with the wrong crowd, and now you've turned a new leave, for that I say congratulations.
You're remorseful! And that's okay too! You have started a new journey, people will constantly judge and remind you of your pass.
So, you need to be strong. For your family forgiveness and your children I'm not going to say it will be easy but you have to be positive and never give up hope.
Genuinely fight for your children and forgiveness from those you've offended they may come around and forgive you and even if they don't, know that you'd tried your best. You're only 31 years old, and have so much to live for so please don't live the rest of your life regretting the past because that will deny you the joy and happiness tomorrow has to offer. Good luck and may God see you through your hard times.
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by merieam16(f): 4:31pm On May 22, 2020
It is well with u sis. i think u need 2 4get abt everything including ur children.Start afresh with jesus nd u will find peace. Remember "seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and every other thing will be added unto you" like( good job, husband,children nd every other good things of life)
Also, u really need 2 go to a bible believing church where u hear d word of God and be among other brethren.
5 Likes 1 Share
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by Saintmary(f): 4:40pm On May 22, 2020
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by eyinjuege: 4:44pm On May 22, 2020
I will try not to abuse you further but that is really going to be hard because you're a child abuser and no child is safe with you.
Imagine fracturing the hand of a 2 month old child. You're actually one of the dregs of the society .
Now with that out of the way, what program can you do to get back on the right path? I know you've stopped your drug use, but who would believe you?
Why not join an addiction program for support and tell them where you are in your journey, as you've stopped all these and how can they help you build your life back together.
You need to get a job or go back to school and show a level of seriousness and commitment in your journey before others can start believing you're a changed person.
If you're on benefits, get a proper job and also get legal counsel. There will probably be some free lawyers who can help you.
Get a stable partner or husband, show them that you're clean with regular drug tests, show them you can manage to put your life together and function with a job, let them see you've had therapy and perhaps if you get pregnant again with a steady partner ready to be in his child's life, you may not lose your children again.
19 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: I Cause Pain To A Lot Of People by eyinjuege: 4:48pm On May 22, 2020
The children are not safe with her.
She was using drugs while pregnant.
She also fractured her baby's hand .
No sane authority will allow any child within her vicinity.
31 Likes 3 Shares
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