₦airaland Forum

We4all:
Getting married to an African man is like being sentenced to life in prison. Once they pay their peanuts bride price, they think they own their women and can do whatever they want with them. There are still some good men out there, but the bad men overshadow the good ones.

Pls tell us how much those d!cks the wife's kitten serviced before marriage actually paid, and that she couldn't continue to service and see marriage as a wat out?

We4all:
Getting married to an African man is like being sentenced to life in prison. Once they pay their peanuts bride price, they think they own their women and can do whatever they want with them. There are still some good men out there, but the bad men overshadow the good ones.

STAY SINGLE!!!, simple, shitty old cargoe!🤣🤡

Oga abeg o. Na pikin I just want. I can never settle for all these GenZ baddies with double digit body count.

Klass99:
The first woman who commented to say married life is not easy just sounds naive and clueless. What did she honestly expect or think it would be like?

Didn't she grow up in a two parent household to see what parents go through and how their needs often take the back seat for the sake of their children? What am I saying sef, even a one parent household ought to teach you that.

Please what do they teach intending couples in pre-marital counselling? Because some things are basic common sense knowledge from just watching our parents or other married folks in our world and space. You can learn valuable things from simply observing others.

Thank you, most are plainly lazy and wants to sit doing nothing all day, they think men are slaves to them, to work, provide and still do home chores, if it's that easy on the mens side, why do men die early?, the world is not an easy place for anyone!, I wonder if these women are really adults or they're just kids in adult bodies!

pocohantas:
Majority of the issues here revolves around money. Thankfully I didn't see many cases of physical or emotional abuse.

If the man is walking through coal to provide for a family on a single income, he is just as frustrated. So they are definitely surviving on a tight budget in 2024. I will suggest the women talk to their husbands to at least help with dressing the kids in the morning.

Or, they can get a job and outsource some tasks.

When we emphasize on the importance of a woman having an income before or in marriage, they say it is feminism and we are deceiving young girls. But money would save you a lot of bad days and help you ignore things that would have ordinarily caused issues in your marriage.

=============

Except you are married to the minute percentage of Nigerian men that can shoulder all the bills and still provide you appliances and a help. This would most likely be your reality.

Finally, 2 kids is okay for 99.9% of Nigerian families. The remaining 0.1 are politicians, executives, trustfund babies, oil workers and people earning a solid 7digit income.

Let's stop repeating a cycle of parents who spend all their youth training kids until they forget the main reason they got married - COMPANIONSHIP. It is not the flex y'all think it is.

Thank you!

Your husband will be a very lucky man.

ExAngel007:
Married women share battles they fight in theirvhomes that their loved ones know nothing about

https://alexis.lindaikejisblog.com/photos/shares/FB_IMG_1728738832316_1728740463.jpg

Married women have gone online to share the silent battles they fight in their homes that they never tell anyone about.

A married woman prompted them to share and many opened up.

Most of those who spoke lamented about receiving no help from their husbands and having to endure infidelity.


See some comments below.

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https://alexis.lindaikejisblog.com/photos/shares/FB_IMG_1728738898074_1728740618.jpg
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God bless you and your husband
Some of the married women did not tell us their subjugating and diabolic powers they exert over their hubby. Some are thacher in the house.

decency17:
This is the summary of women's lives. They expect the man to do house chores instead of spending his time, energy and creativity in working and critical thinking to openup new frontiers of greatness for the family. Just laziness. Most of my married friends have the same problem with this lazy generation of women. I'm facing the same challenge too. This is why the society is falling. Take it to the bank, men build the society while women build the home.

You are the only wise man on this thread. You just captured my ordeal in marriage in your submission.

Akalia:
You are the only wise man on this thread. You just captured my ordeal in marriage in your submission.

What is your ordeal? You work and your wife does nothing?

decency17:
This is the summary of women's lives. They expect the man to do house chores instead of spending his time, energy and creativity in working and critical thinking to openup new frontiers of greatness for the family. Just laziness. Most of my married friends have the same problem with this lazy generation of women. I'm facing the same challenge too. This is why the society is falling. Take it to the bank, men build the society while women build the home.

Your wife stands in your way to greatness?

Maeve7:
What is your ordeal? You work and your wife does nothing?

She does nothing but I don't mind. However, my frustration is that this woman does not take correction and instruction. She does not appreciate my toil under the sun. I work my ass off on a sailing basis to bring good money back home at the end of the month but all she sees are my deficiencies such as not always helping out in domestic chores, being romantic on her own terms, and being assertive.

I can go on and on. Man, I am even thinking along the line of separation for now but I have two toddler sons and that is what is withholding me.

Women are impossible.

Men should help their wives out with home chores, I do help mine.

The thing is that most of the outgoing type of men are rarely around to help their wives with chores, and they are the type the younger woman looking to marry goes for, the ladies like the 'we are outside' kind of men until they get married and have kids to discover that it has its disadvantages

A man can still ball outside and ball inside, create a balance so you can be there to help Madam when she needs help

Klass99:
The first woman who commented to say married life is not easy just sounds naive and clueless. What did she honestly expect or think it would be like?

Didn't she grow up in a two parent household to see what parents go through and how their needs often take the back seat for the sake of their children? What am I saying sef, even a one parent household ought to teach you that.

Please what do they teach intending couples in pre-marital counselling? Because some things are basic common sense knowledge from just watching our parents or other married folks in our world and space. You can learn valuable things from simply observing others.

What they teach in marriage counseling? Though they do mention some of these points you said, but in all fairness, you would think you are being taught and enlightened on soft porn kinda teachings, I mean in the church o
Na so so sex matters dey full there, you would almost get irritated

pocohantas:
Majority of the issues here revolves around money. Thankfully I didn't see many cases of physical or emotional abuse.

If the man is walking through coal to provide for a family on a single income, he is just as frustrated. So they are definitely surviving on a tight budget in 2024. I will suggest the women talk to their husbands to at least help with dressing the kids in the morning.

Or, they can get a job and outsource some tasks.

When we emphasize on the importance of a woman having an income before or in marriage, they say it is feminism and we are deceiving young girls. But money would save you a lot of bad days and help you ignore things that would have ordinarily caused issues in your marriage.

=============

Except you are married to the minute percentage of Nigerian men that can shoulder all the bills and still provide you appliances and a help. This would most likely be your reality.

Finally, 2 kids is okay for 99.9% of Nigerian families. The remaining 0.1 are politicians, executives, trustfund babies, oil workers and people earning a solid 7digit income.

Let's stop repeating a cycle of parents who spend all their youth training kids until they forget the main reason they got married - COMPANIONSHIP. It is not the flex y'all think it is.

Thank you!

Oya, bring yà cheeks make I kiss you

You've spoken reasonably, and nothing but the blatant truth. As sweet as kids are to have around, taking care of them ain't a walk in the park, not to even talk about giving them the best.
Parenthood is a sacrificial life especially for the average couple. And it's not even easy to be among the high and mighty (the 0.1 % you indicated). No be easy tin to bam bam and chill with tha big boiz

cococandy:
You never make sense. Always off topic and even when you try to communicate it through a different account one can easily see that it’s you.

Take care. Bye

There's no off topic in his comment, it's 💯 truth and reality!, women barely assist financially without a string attached, only a foolish man doesn't know this, it's men that actually love genuinely, once money lacks you women will run!

tanigororo:
If them no marry them, Na wahala. Make this gender go rest abeg

😂😂😂 wahala gender… they complain about everything!

Zooposki:
It’s just social conditioning. Women are now beginning to realize there is no benefit in marriage. Things will change in future. It’s already changing in the western world. Birth rates are down worldwide, especially in the western world.

We are talking about Africa you are talking about western women.

pocohantas:
Finance is one part, emotions is another.
Born the number you can train without turning into a mad woman.

Lol. And then I would say some of the past generation mothers tried. I have seen six, seven children born by one woman, they didn't turn into mad women nau. Those mamas dey try abeg even with average or small business and they nurtured their kids to adulthood without complaints. Those people get emotional power abeg, very strong African women.

Anyways, economy these days dey brutal than then.

Zooposki:
Yes, nature deem men as inferior. The only chromosome not necessary for life is the Y(Man) chromosome.

You're mentally deranged!

pocohantas:
Majority of the issues here revolves around money. Thankfully I didn't see many cases of physical or emotional abuse.

If the man is walking through coal to provide for a family on a single income, he is just as frustrated. So they are definitely surviving on a tight budget in 2024. I will suggest the women talk to their husbands to at least help with dressing the kids in the morning.

Or, they can get a job and outsource some tasks.

When we emphasize on the importance of a woman having an income before or in marriage, they say it is feminism and we are deceiving young girls. But money would save you a lot of bad days and help you ignore things that would have ordinarily caused issues in your marriage.

=============

Except you are married to the minute percentage of Nigerian men that can shoulder all the bills and still provide you appliances and a help. This would most likely be your reality.

Finally, 2 kids is okay for 99.9% of Nigerian families. The remaining 0.1 are politicians, executives, trustfund babies, oil workers and people earning a solid 7digit income.

Let's stop repeating a cycle of parents who spend all their youth training kids until they forget the main reason they got married - COMPANIONSHIP. It is not the flex y'all think it is.

Thank you!

I'm impressed by your level of detailing.

I can also resonate with almost everything you wrote.

You submitted well.

Of course, marriage is not easy. You got to be ready to sacrifice. There is nothing like perfect marriage.

I am always willing to help my wife out. And she is always thanking me. Now kids are all grown.

richiemcgold:
Truly, truly, this life no balance at all.

.. while some married women are complaining about their marriage, there are many unmarried women out there in their late 30s and 40s praying to God everyday for marriage.

Some of them are even threatening their husbands with divorce as if is uhuru out there.
Men,those days and nowadays are not the same.Women of old did far more of what they complain about now.
Great mothers that don't access to smart phones,gadgets,watch zee world,telemundos,nollywood or wore trousers,do all manner of hairrstyles,never nagged of their responsibilities yet they overcame and were successful mothers in their respective homes.
The reserve is the case thisdays that's why they complain even with all mordern life has to offer.

Psych412:
Here in Nigeria, some/most men here have all turn their marriages to a slave scheme....a slave mentality, putting their wives in bondage and in anguish.



That's why married women in Nigeria now look older than their age....this slave mentality needs to stop and be abolished

How would you love your marriage to be like ? What responsibilities would you like the husband to perform, and what should be the roles of the wife ?

CodeTemplarr:
Why will he help with kids when he has to work extra hard to dig a borehole, generate electricity and pump water as against you going to the streams to fetch as it is in the books that inspired the provider role of man?

He also provides milled rice + grains and not the raw ones you have to go mill yourself like it was in biblical times.

He probably bought blenders, miicrowave oven, freezer, and washing machine which were never under the role of provision by provider in the bible. He probably pays the electricity bills for all those.

No wonder household level Yahoo is trendy today. There has to be spiritual shortcut or support for the man to meet those numerous emanating needs outside the original purview of the provider. They can agree on any kid or young maid around as victim. Any new innovation falls under the role of the provider.

If a machine that baths and dresses babies is created today, it becomes the man's job to provide and power it. Most likely within the city where the means to rapidly expand productive output in exchange for more money is highly limited. Tell me which brand of phone did Sarah use? What channel of satellite TV provider of their time was her favourite?

Is domestic battle even harder than field battles to start with?

And you wonder why you will grow old and die alone

hartson:
Some of them are even threatening their husbands with divorce as if is uhuru out there.
Men,those days and nowadays are not the same.Women of old did far more of what they complain about now.
Great mothers that don't access to smart phones,gadgets,watch zee world,telemundos,nollywood or wore trousers,do all manner of hairrstyles,never nagged of their responsibilities yet they overcame and were successful mothers in their respective homes.
The reserve is the case thisdays that's why they complain even with all mordern life has to offer.

Women of old were stuck and had no options out of the bad situations theu called marriages, why do you think they encouraged their daughters to pursue an education and money? So as not to end up like them.

DrFunmisticGlow:
And you wonder why you will grow old and die alone

only u. How many accounts?

Rexymania:
I do help my wife to do the dishes sometimes

Marriage is not easy for both parties

Now I earn more but spend little on my self. I earn close to 100k monthly but e no dey show for my body

Bros, sorry to say... 100k no fit show anywhere for your bodi. The moni too small.

It means you are worth like 3,300 naira per day. That's about 2 dollars.

Akalia:
She does nothing but I don't mind. However, my frustration is that this woman does not take correction and instruction. She does not appreciate my toil under the sun. I work my ass off on a sailing basis to bring good money back home at the end of the month but all she sees are my deficiencies such as not always helping out in domestic chores, being romantic on her own terms, and being assertive.

I can go on and on. Man, I am even thinking along the line of separation for now but I have two toddler sons and that is what is withholding me.

Women are impossible.

She doesn’t cook? She doesn’t clean? She is not bathing, feeding, entertaining, teaching the children? She doesn’t do laundry? She is not shopping the groceries? She doesn’t take out the trash?

Nothing?

Maeve7:
She doesn’t cook? She doesn’t clean? She is not bathing, feeding, entertaining, teaching the children? She doesn’t do laundry? She is not shopping the groceries? She doesn’t take out the trash?

Nothing?

See how far you went to, he doesn't mean nothing as doing nothing though..

🤔

MonsterVerse:

See how far you went to, he doesn't mean nothing as doing nothing though..

🤔

Your point is?

Maeve7:
Your point is?

That dude just want to blame his wife for certain reasons, but doing nothing as you mentioned above is impossible for a woman not to engage in single one thing over their..might be biggest lie.

I thought i was the only one that noticed.

CodeTemplarr:
That second to last reply who is a divorcee. Her moniker when broken down is "SOS in Konji".

What a cry!

10 Things I have personally learnt in marriage
1. Lots of women are lazy in marriage. They mostly claim to go to church but are very secretive.
2. You cannot satisfy a woman
3. Marriage demands' pressure can push a man to his death, to crime, misdemeanor and even imprisonment
4 Women tend to see marriage as an escape from the hard work they performed while single, but the opposite is the case
5. Marriage reduces the life span of lots of men
6. Women also make huge sacrifices that are unforgettable like child birth, putting the home together and raising the kids
7. House chores no dey finish, what you do today, you will still do tomorrow, so just so whatever your strength can carry and continue later
8. Woman can be very provocative with words, they can push you beyond the limits and expect you not to retaliate
9. Most women aren't really what you think they are, they change with your ability to do or inability to do
10. Finally, marriage still is the best thing to happen to a man. I am always extremely happy whenever I see my children.