₦airaland Forum

Nna eh. Na very useless family u go marry inside

Procashtips:
See lawyers everywhere lol

Chidl support as in how?

Can you read?

They are not dirvorced legally and never married in the court. Only traditional marriage.

What the OP should do is inform his family and ask them to inform her family that the bride price is about to be returned. Whatever the woman didn't bring to the marriage is not for her to possess (This include the children she abandoned at her father's place).

Meaning she's not also fit to care for the children if her father claims to have paid the fees in the last 6 months that she dumped them there.

Married,divorced,separated,not married,whatever do not count as long as you have a child together.
EOD

masseratti:
lolzzz they will ,they always will and how do you know the OP is not rich or going to be rich .

I don’t know what he’s going to be or not be. I don’t know the future.

But right now, based on his posts he’s not rich. So if that’s what’s he’s banking on for his kids to come back to him in the future, he’s got another think coming.

Also if he’s presently rich and refused to care for them, how will that endear him to them? Common sense tells me it should be the opposite

Why do people like to complicate matters?
You stayed for over six months without sending money for your children's upkeep, without caring how they were faring. Now The old man who cared for your kids and probably loved them more than you do is asking for a reimbursement, and you want to make a case?
Really?
How much is he requesting?
How much will you spend in lawsuit?
Go settle the man and collect your daughters.
Are you really their father? Do you really love them? How the heck did you transfer your aggressions to them? they've been out of school since January and you didn't care?
From the tone of your post, even if you reconcile with your ex wife, you'll make life a living hell for her.
So leave her out of this and take care of your daughters.
Majority of people here have idea about my story and if you don't, you can go through my previous post to get a glimpse.

This month made it one year and seven months have been Separated and living apart from my ex wife due to infidelity and cheating from my ex wife part. Since then, my two daughter aged 8 and 7 had been living with her and I do take responsibility of them until this January 2024 when my wife took my kids to her father and step mom place because there was this course she was order to go for 6months officially outside lagos state. I was so angry because she never seek my permission or approval before taking them there and because of this, I stop sending money or paying their fees till now. I saw it as a act of disrespect if I the father can't be informed of where my kids are been taking to for a long period of time. She already took them there before informing me.

She was supposed to finish her course outside the state by June and since then, she never called me to inform me she is back until yesterday when I put a call to her and she told me she got back since June. I asked about the kids and to my shock, she told me the kids are still there with her father and step mom. How can you leave the kids at your parents place while the father and mother are available, I got so upset and the discussion resulted to insult and curse on phone. She told me she had a serious issue at work and she couldn't combine the kids stress to what she is going through presently. To be honest, I was even thinking to reconcile with her cos of the kids despite she cheated but the way she behave and talks on phone shows she is not remorse or even care if the family is back together or ready for any reconciliation despite the fact she was at fault. Now my kids are my focus but I don't know how to go about this.

The information I got from her dad was that he will not release the kids to either me or her on less the money he had spent on them is refunded back to him. This is already looking like a kidnap and abduction case which I told her that if she doesn't pick those kids before weekend, I will file a case of child kidnap and abduction against her and her father. Pls I need advice on how to go about this and those that have first class experience with such should assist with advice. Thank you all[/quote]

VeryWickedBro:
OP all these happened because they know you are weak by giving birth to girls in the first place.

Dirty talks.

Giving birth to girls alone makes him weak...this is why I hate this platform.

Small but brainless children all over.

Afodot0022:
Pls just shot the hell up. You don't know what transpires but you already start judging. I don't blame you, it's either you are a single mother that is pained and using that to get back at me. You women believe you can always behave stupidly and get away with it. Someone took my kids to where I didnt approved. You didn't read the part I said I was taking responsibility of them before this situation. Pls just leave emotion and think logically. If she wants to have the kids, let her have them. Na she go suffer am

Those ladies are telling u the truth..

You stopped paying Ur children feeding and school fees bcoz Ur wife took them to her parents place as she won't be around..

You are a wicked man... So wicked and bold ontop your wickedness..

Nothing stopped u from fulfilling Ur responsibilities to your kids. Even if ur wife remarries and still have the kids with her, you don't have any right to stop paying for their upkeep.

You are a wicked man

Afodot0022:
When she move them to her grandparents place, I was able to talk to the kids on e and ever since then, they stop picking my calls and had to stop and waited until when my ex comes back from her course so I can face her directly. I requested for the address of where my inlaws stays now cos they move to a new location and didn't get to visit them before I separated with my wife. There was no way I could go pick them up cos I don't know the address location and when I requested for it, they stop picking my calls. So how are all these my fault has you all have labelled me the bad one here.i called them again yesterday and they didn't pick my calls. Even my ex blocked me and my mom aswell and couldn't reach her. It was one of her number I got to reach her. So if you all blame me, you all don't know the kind of demon am dealing with as an ex wife

op can't you see clearly that a gang of bitter single mothers are up against you here?? Women who dined with a snake from the beginning are those you are trying to argue with here?? Those are manipulators of the highest order. Just get a competent lawyer and regain possession of your kids asap.

Modified: op going thru your previous topics shows me you're not a serious person oo. You already have other ladies in your life so why trying to bring back your wife? I'm not even sure you can take care of the kids you are fighting for their custody. Please lead a responsible life unless you enjoy creating topics on NL about nonexistent happenings.

Mom007:
Ogbeni shut it with your bla bla bla talk. If e too pain you, go and collect your kids and take care of them yourself. And make sure you don't take them to your own parents while you go to work o... and don't get a nanny. You must bathe them, cook and clean up after them, wash their clothes, do school run etc all while you hold your 9 to 5 job. Sauce for the goose must be sauce for the gander after all!Failure to do all these things means you shut up and keep sending money for your children's upkeep.
Yen yen yen, na she go suffer am! Dead beat dad's like you have only one card to play which is withholding money. E too pain you say after you played your last card, she refused to be bothered that's why you came here to cry.
No one said you should go back to a cheating wife but if you can't play your part in raising your children, the only part which anyone really expects from a double standard hypocrite like you than shut up abeg and watch their grandpa be a better father to them than you will ever be.

God bless you

I’m team “leave the kids for him” too but this comment here, what does that actually mean?

The man didn’t come into the marriage with the kids either. If we want to actually measure in quantity who contributed more to making the kids, it’s obviously the woman since all he brought was microscopic genetic material. She literally grew them from her bones, blood and flesh. Just saying

Procashtips:
Whatever the woman didn't bring to the marriage is not for her to possess (This include the children she abandoned at her father's place)..

Ibechris2:
Dirty talks.

Giving birth to girls alone makes him weak...this is why I hate this platform.

Small but brainless children all over.

He should’ve asserted his masculine dominance by not giving birth to girls 🤣

Afodot0022:
My kids will never suffered in my hands cos I love them . She knows I love the kids so much reason why she is trying to use them to manipulate me.

You are saying nonsense with pride6

cococandy:
I’m team “leave the kids for him” too but this comment here, what does that actually mean?

The man didn’t come into the marriage with the kids either. If we want to actually measure in quantity who contributed more to making the kids, it’s obviously the woman since all he brought was microscopic genetic material. She literally grew them from her bones, blood and flesh. Just saying

Since she can't take care of them without having to abandon them at her parents, then they should be returned to the father who is willing to cater for them.

She's not in any right to decide where the children are to stay, only the court or tradition (both families) would decide that.

She can't cater for them both in attention and in finance, so what role is she playing as a mother then?

They grew in her because someone put them there. The seed is as important as the ground a tree grows out from.

Procashtips:
Since she can't take care of them without having to abandon them at her parents, then they should be returned to the father who is willing to cater for them.

She's not in any right to decide where the children are to stay, only the court or tradition (both families) would decide that.

She can't cater for them both in attention and in finance, so what role is she playing as a mother then?

I’m not arguing with you

I’m team leave the kids for their dads.

descarado:
Married,divorced,separated,not married,whatever do not count as long as you have a child together.
EOD

Nairaland lawyer don talk

cococandy:
He should’ve asserted his masculine dominance by not giving birth to girls 🤣

The brain dead comments that we get to read here.

The smaller half of a seed. Just as long as we’re being numerically accurate.

Procashtips:
The seed is as important as the ground a tree grows out from.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to my nairalanders fam.
Majority of people here have idea about my story and if you don't, you can go through my previous post to get a glimpse.

This month made it one year and seven months have been Separated and living apart from my ex wife due to infidelity and cheating from my ex wife part. Since then, my two daughter aged 8 and 7 had been living with her and I do take responsibility of them until this January 2024 when my wife took my kids to her father and step mom place because there was this course she was order to go for 6months officially outside lagos state. I was so angry because she never seek my permission or approval before taking them there and because of this, I stop sending money or paying their fees till now. I saw it as a act of disrespect if I the father can't be informed of where my kids are been taking to for a long period of time. She already took them there before informing me.

She was supposed to finish her course outside the state by June and since then, she never called me to inform me she is back until yesterday when I put a call to her and she told me she got back since June. I asked about the kids and to my shock, she told me the kids are still there with her father and step mom. How can you leave the kids at your parents place while the father and mother are available, I got so upset and the discussion resulted to insult and curse on phone. She told me she had a serious issue at work and she couldn't combine the kids stress to what she is going through presently. To be honest, I was even thinking to reconcile with her cos of the kids despite she cheated but the way she behave and talks on phone shows she is not remorse or even care if the family is back together or ready for any reconciliation despite the fact she was at fault. Now my kids are my focus but I don't know how to go about this.

The information I got from her dad was that he will not release the kids to either me or her on less the money he had spent on them is refunded back to him. This is already looking like a kidnap and abduction case which I told her that if she doesn't pick those kids before weekend, I will file a case of child kidnap and abduction against her and her father. Pls I need advice on how to go about this and those that have first class experience with such should assist with advice. Thank you all

But una dey marry oh for this Nigeria. Una no dey look the family before Una marry them? How grandfather go wan collect money he spent on the kids from the father? Nawa

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to my nairalanders fam.
Majority of people here have idea about my story and if you don't, you can go through my previous post to get a glimpse.

This month made it one year and seven months have been Separated and living apart from my ex wife due to infidelity and cheating from my ex wife part. Since then, my two daughter aged 8 and 7 had been living with her and I do take responsibility of them until this January 2024 when my wife took my kids to her father and step mom place because there was this course she was order to go for 6months officially outside lagos state. I was so angry because she never seek my permission or approval before taking them there and because of this, I stop sending money or paying their fees till now. I saw it as a act of disrespect if I the father can't be informed of where my kids are been taking to for a long period of time. She already took them there before informing me.

She was supposed to finish her course outside the state by June and since then, she never called me to inform me she is back until yesterday when I put a call to her and she told me she got back since June. I asked about the kids and to my shock, she told me the kids are still there with her father and step mom. How can you leave the kids at your parents place while the father and mother are available, I got so upset and the discussion resulted to insult and curse on phone. She told me she had a serious issue at work and she couldn't combine the kids stress to what she is going through presently. To be honest, I was even thinking to reconcile with her cos of the kids despite she cheated but the way she behave and talks on phone shows she is not remorse or even care if the family is back together or ready for any reconciliation despite the fact she was at fault. Now my kids are my focus but I don't know how to go about this.

The information I got from her dad was that he will not release the kids to either me or her on less the money he had spent on them is refunded back to him. This is already looking like a kidnap and abduction case which I told her that if she doesn't pick those kids before weekend, I will file a case of child kidnap and abduction against her and her father. Pls I need advice on how to go about this and those that have first class experience with such should assist with advice. Thank you all

Don't file a law suit yet, still try to investigate further/gather more evidence to really know what their intentions are. When you see a badly behaved woman/man, most times it can be traced back to the parents/upbringing. So, you have to be patient and calculated when dealing with such people. Above all, I would have preferred you reconciled with her for the sake of the children as you sited, but her behaviour doesn't show remorse and for her not to have called you since June till now... May be she has moved on. But take your time and related with both her and her father more before drawing your conclusions. Finally, follow your heart, whatever decision you finally make, is the right decision.
Take custody of your kids even though it might not be easy for any single parent handling kids alone, that's why we are supposed to be couples (two people covering up for each other).

cococandy:
The smaller half of a seed. Just as long as we’re being numerically accurate.

There's no seed that is small. A seed is a seed.

None is even talking about the fact that the woman cheated!

The offense has been swept under the carpet because it was the woman that did it.

Now people are shifting the blame to the man.

Why should a woman that loves her children cheat?

It's certain she doesn't love them.

The fact that she even abandoned them at her parents without sending upkeep is another pointer that she's not a mother!

Not fit to be a mother by any stretch!

cococandy:
I’m not arguing with you

I’m team leave the kids for their dads.

Good.

Since she has proven they're not better off with her as their mother.

I follow suit, don’t just stress yourself in digging out what you already know will hunt you back, just accept the fact that going to court will bring more harm than good.

Marriage is getting scary

masseratti:
OP , don't give that Grandpa a dime of your money ,but at the samw time I will blame you for not sending upkeep money in those period no matter where they are it's your responsibility,not only that I can't phantom not talking to my kids once in a weak talkless of not talking for months and be comfortable... immediately I don't hear from my kids in a week I don't care who or what can be holding them away from me even if am 6000 miles away i will cause so much trouble the thought of something like that from any woman will be imposicant.since you could reach your father inlaw you should have called and know wassup or callee your ex..June till now is over 4 months.

Thanks for your contribution. However, the bane of the issue is that the presence of the kids' dad is missing in the life of the kids. And the man is also deprived of the joy of seeing his kids grow.

People often focus on the financial welfare, dont make that mistake. The kids need to BE whole. And that can be achieved when both parents are involved in their lives.


The separation was wrongly done. I dont know whose fault it is because i didnt read his previous post.
In an idea seperation case, both parties ought to have disccused the kids welfare ( and reach an understanding on how the kids will be raised and access to the kids by both parties). This wasnt done.

The woman has already erred by taking the kids away from the man and depriving him access to them. The man is less wrong on this matter. he his willing to provide if he is allowed to be part of their lives.

Most people blame the man cos they dont have experience. I have experience through a friend's marriage. Nobody knows what type of ill-treatment the man gets from his ex in as we speak. Some exes can be rude, mean and very impolite, which i think is the case with this man.

The man is just a victim of a woman's world, especially when it involved kids.

Ciao

Afodot0022:
My family are aware of what's going on and for now, they don't want to interfere because my ex wife family is not making any effort. Initially we had plans to go to the father's place but I thought about it that it doesn't make any sense cos I did not send those kids there at first.

You really want to reconcile with an adultress. They will never change. Obey Jesus and put her away forever. Do all and get your kids

cococandy:
He should’ve asserted his masculine dominance by not giving birth to girls 🤣

Omooooo.😂😂😂. He should really have🤣🤣

Homeboiy:
Go give another woman belle first make that one born then you go dey fight for these ones



Try and be visiting them in their grandparents place once in a while

You de form city boy

Afodot0022 see the best advice for you here

VeryWickedBro:
OP all these happened because they know you are weak by giving birth to girls in the first place.

lol, u r funny

Afodot0022:
You are a woman so you will never understand my point. Am not trying to take custody of the kids, but they should stay with either the mom or dad. I won't pay any money to the father cos I never approved or permit her taking them there .. I won't want her to push me to forget about those kids and move on. I will count my loss and move on

You can’t win custody anymore simply because you became a deadbeat when you were provoked by your ex-wife … it’s over man. Wait till they grow old enough

Your regional identity is very crucial for my intended answer, please oblige

I really really appreciate what everyone had said so far and what others will still say , my own candid talk be say , OP, you can not take care of those children as their mother will do . And if you truly love your kid , you must swallow your pride , calm down and because of those children take things easy .. them say eyes wey calm down wella go see nose👃. Any time you get money , start dey send them , they try dey do things wey go make you dey connect with those children and na through their mom you go see them dey talk to over the phone .. no use gragra go take them or fight those people . Those women are trying o when it comes to upkeep of those children.. And na child/children dey calm everyman as much as e dey calm everywoman too .. Dey do all this things sometimes or most times , you fit invite them to a nearby groceries center or eatery to buy things for them so that you go see them to talk to , e get why o .. and if you think I am not making sense , you fit do otherwise.. because if na true mad woman you jam ni, you fit no see the children again , lobatan .. no raise any issue , the one you don raise , end am , use style call the woman , calm her down , bobo her , no collect the children at all o. Try dey use this time dey find money o . If money dey Wella in the near future couple with the things you dey do for them now till then , na those children go find you come .. e sure me die ..
Me , I respect those women o but the cheating part na im dey off me and if them no cheat how other guys/men go get wife na ..

If me caught her/them cheats, na to just bid her farewell to the guy ni .. because I believe say , she prefer that man above me niyen .. guyman go just think over am 1,2,3 days and move on ..

pocohantas:
They only love the kids for as long as they love the mother. That is why a man can abandon his biological kids, fall in love with another woman with kids and take care of them.

When women understand this, they will know to have as much as they can handle if push comes to shove, because once they are scorned, they will PUNISH YOU WITH THOSE KIDS.

I think this statement really need to be researched esp among men from conservative background.
Men's love for their kids is thru the woman that gave them the child.
If they don't love the mum, they care less about the kids. That's why baby mama suffer a lot all over the world. If U are not the prize, no amount of emotional blackmail will make the man see her kids as top priority...except if he's naturally responsible.

Women should understand men are differently wired both biological and psychological. This will safe everyone lots of headache. Women should only agree to have a child with a man who genuinely loves them. This cannot be over-emphasised.

No matter how terrible your wife is, you should pay child support.

I don't have any issue with how exploiting the child support law is in US. The children benefit greatly from it and even if the rest goes to the woman, it should be a lesson to the man to make better partner decision in the future.

So oga! Pay that money! Na you enter terrible family go marry wife.