₦airaland Forum

Good morning and happy Sunday to my nairalanders fam and happy new month.
I know so many of you will have clue about my history here and my stories, if you don't, kindly check through my profile. This forum have helped me to navigate some difficult situation especially on marriage, even though I still get bashed and insulted, I can tell that I still get genuine advice from matured and experienced people here. It's all about taking the wheat from the shaft.

I and my wife had been separated for almost 2yrs and reason was that I saw some chat on her phone that she was having emotional affair with another man under my roof, I sent her away due to this and have been leaving my life since then, the kids have been with her and have been taking responsibility over them, recently she took my kids to her parents without my approval due to her traveling for months and now that she is back from the official trip, she had refused to pick the kids from her parents place to start living with her, that was the recent issue we both had and up till now, the kids still stay with her parents instead of her.

I have tend to move on concerning this matter and we have already had an agreement concerning the kids welfare and the rest. They are just 7 and 6yrs.


I married traditionally and ever since we separated, there had not been any formal divorce and the bride price is yet to be returned. Now it happens that I and my wife started chatting back on Whatsapp and my reason for allowing this was to know the situation of my kids and to keep track on them, but in those chat with her, I could see some form of remorseful from her and some calmness from her to the extent that she pleaded that I should forgive her for all the wrong she had done to me . I was surprised to see all this write up from her cos I never expected her to apologize cos of her over bloated ego. In her write up, it seems she want us to resolve our differences and come back together as family but I wasn't buying that.

Now my question is to matured and experienced men that have gone through this particular situation of separation from you ex wife, does it worth it given such woman a second chance knowing what lead to the breakdown of the marriage, she had an emotional affair but didn't caught her having sex though, is it worth forgiving her and taking her back, I just want to be sure I won't regret these cos I don't know her true intentions, we have been separated for two years now and I asked her if she have had any sexual encounters during those period, she told me she never dated or had any sex during our period of separation, I am finding it difficult to believe that, how can a woman that was once married and separated not feel the urge to have sex for almost two years. Pls experienced
married women in the house, is it possible for a woman to keep herself that long, I am assuming she is just using that to make me feel good about taking her back.

TBH, I still care about my kids cos they are my focus now and if I will be doing this, it will be for my daughters cos they have really been through alot during this separation, they have been staying with their grand parents and only God knows what they are passing through there.

I just want to know if it worth it given the marriage a second chance again despite everything that occurred or I should just move on with my life and forget about her and just take responsibility over my kids cos I don't want to regret this move, pls men that have gone through something like this scenario, kindly share some advice and tips on how to navigate through this situation. I know I will be bashed by some but will still appreciate honest opinion and advice from both gender and especially from experienced ones. As it is been said, the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know . Pls all advice will be welcomed and well appreciated.

advanceDNA:
Ur egungun don nearly reach express way...

👀 E be like na even railway e wan go cross like this...

You separated from your wife because of some chat and now you want to believe that no man has climbed her since over two years you sent her packing.

I don't have what to say bro, but before you make any decision, try and follow this man on twitter, he's one of the best coach alive and if possible enter hhis DM.

I pray God guide you right.

MondayOmoAdugbo:
👀 E be like na even railway e wan go cross like this...

Lol

Collect your kids
Collect your kids
Collect your kids


How many times did I say that?

One more time, collect your kids...

🤐


⛷️

Meanwhile don't forget to do DNA 😁😁😂


You and I knows it's not even funny sha.

madridguy:

You no follow your brother talk now o before e go jam agbako? 🤕

Wetin me I know be say Man utd go beat Chelsea like Dem tiff maggi today sha 😏

Please what is the difference between separation and divorce. Because I don't understand. Marriage of these days sef. Hmmm

Yes that what I want to do cos she is using the kids to get back to me knowing fully well I love them and pls anyone in the house, what is the process of divorcing when you married traditionally and not legally, in our heated conversation, I told her that her family should refund back the bride price and she requested for my account number but I know stuff like this should be done by both families

MondayOmoAdugbo:
Collect your kids
Collect your kids
Collect your kids


How many times did I say that?

One more time, collect your kids...

🤐


⛷️

Yes we are separated but the bride price is yet to be returned back to us and my kids still with her, some people said so far my kids is still with her, I can't request for the bride price unless the kids has been released to me. Pls house ,what's the procedure of annulment of traditional marriage cos Incase this had been done, I won't be in this back and forth with her and would have moved on since

Crestaria:
Please what is the difference between separation and divorce. Because I don't understand. Marriage of these days sef. Hmmm

Afodot0022:
Yes that what I want to do cos she is using the kids to get back to me knowing fully well I love them and pls anyone in the house, what is the process of divorcing when you married traditionally and not legally, in our heated conversation, I told her that her family should refund back the bride price and she requested for my account number but I know stuff like this should be done by both families

Simple! Go back to her family house and tender you want to divorce her....finish. if that doesn't do it.... Just take your kids, forget bride price refund and Dump her.

Simple.

For a man to seek public opinion before taking private decisions shows the level of instability he may have experienced with firm decision making.

Besides the opinions you may get, what is your heart saying.
Can you handle her if she decides to cheat again.
Don't you feel you deserve a loyal woman to grow old with.

To all men who are tied to their cheating spouses because of the kids. Note that your kids will find their way in life regardless your being close to their mum

Face life headlong and be independent if you feel pained being with a cheating woman

Co-parenting. You have to be with the kids also for a while.

Guy you dey fall hand big time.

Once a a LovePeddler always the same.

She has returned to finish you, she broke your heart before, this time she's back to burn it to ashes.

She left you for a dick and will certainly leave again for a Dick-inn

If you didn't bother reading say hi 🤣🤣🤣

Na me and you marry your wife, na we 2 dey blast her, she done squeal for me in ecstacy before, why you carry only problem come? 🙄

Cc: Gloriousgbola

If you wish. One thing is certain, she has tried again and again, and now know that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

She didn't know that whosoever she was in a relationship while married wouldn't welcome her when she becomes single.

He has been with other women in the meantime. He even made posts about one of his live-in girlfriends. So moot point

madridguy:
You separated from your wife because of some chat and now you want to believe that no man has climbed her since over two years you sent her packing.

She got you at last. This is what Hamas is doing israel. Russia too did to ukraine.

You have no missiles to shoot. No tunnels to destroy, so play your cards right.

we have been separated for two years now and I asked her if she have had any sexual encounters during those period, she told me she never dated or had any sex during our period of separation, I am finding it difficult to believe that, how can a woman that was once married and separated not feel the urge to have sex for almost two years.

Why are you bothered if your wife had sexual intercourse with another man after y'all have been separated for two years?

Besides, you were also in a relationship with a girl whom you disvirgined and also co-habited at some point.

Oh ho! So you didn't even catch your wife cheating red-handed but only flirtatious chats? My friend, better go into the closet, your trusted war room and pray fervently for your marriage. The devil is after your home, Sir.

folake4u:
Why are you bothered if your wife had sexual intercourse with another man after y'all have been separated for two years?

Besides, you were also in a relationship with a girl whom you disvirgined and also co-habited at some point.

Oh ho! So you didn't even catch your wife cheating red-handed but only flirtatious chats? My friend, better go into the closet, your trusted war room and pray fervently for your marriage. The devil is after your home, Sir.

I actually thought he caught her on top man.
No wonder his mind is still there.

pocohantas:
I actually thought he caught her on top man.
No wonder his mind is still there.

Don't mind him, he knows what he's doing. He hid this salient fact from Day 1 to score cheap attention.

It is amusing/ irritating enough to see him bringing his wife and ex-girlfriend issues here every time for our entertainment sake.

Such a man is not stable.

Men are the price.

Men and women don't have equal right in my own dictionary and my own state of origin.

cococandy:
He has been with other women in the meantime. He even made posts about one of his live-in girlfriends. So moot point

pocohantas:
Cc: Gloriousgbola

I no dey. You can see the guy is requalifying his original stories. Before he accused his wife of infidelity, now he is saying it was emotional infidelity. Tomorrow he may say she was chatting with a work colleague on WhatsApp.

With that alone, nothing he says can be taken seriously as he his simply packaging himself as the blameless victim in this saga.

The original story is the husband with a wife who got a job and then started fking around. Now it is husband with wife who was chatting on WhatsApp.

What new variations will we hear about the family? Maybe he will say the dad actually lent him money.

Las Las this is a long game engagement exercise

madridguy:
Men are the price.

Men and women don't have equal right in my own dictionary and my own state of origin.

whatever makes you sleep better sweetheart

True.
There’s no way to know if she actually cheated or not. At first he claimed she cheated so he can be justified in abandoning his kids. Now he’s probably saying she only chatted inappropriately with another man so that his fellow alpha men won’t call him too much of SIMP when he goes back to her.

Bottom line is that he’s realized he has more to lose from the dissolution of the marriage than she does. She’s moved on and is making her path in life. While he’s still there looking for who to help him with cooking and laundry and share bills.

I wouldn’t take him back if I were her. He needs his maid back not the marriage

GloriousGbola:
I no dey. You can see the guy is requalifying his original stories. Before he accused his wife of infidelity, now he is saying it was emotional infidelity. Tomorrow he may say she was chatting with a work colleague on WhatsApp.

With that alone, nothing he says can be taken seriously as he his simply packaging himself as the blameless victim in this saga.

The original story is the husband with a wife who got a job and then started fking around. Now it is husband with wife who was chatting on WhatsApp.

What new variations will we hear about the family? Maybe he will say the dad actually lent him money.

Las Las this is a long game engagement exercise

I need to buttress some point here. Yes I never caught her red handed having sex but I caught her having an affair with another man. They already start exchanging things in Whatsapp, she was already in love with the said guy that she told him she loves him. In one of their conversations, I presume they have met in person but they never discussed what they did together. Are all these not enough reason for cheating. Must I caught a man on her before I know she is cheating cos I don't understand what you are saying. Can you take it when your lawful wedded wife is giving another man attention. A woman you are taking good care of and giving her all she needed be in material physical and emotional. You don't expect me to continue with such trait of disloyalness

GloriousGbola:
I no dey. You can see the guy is requalifying his original stories. Before he accused his wife of infidelity, now he is saying it was emotional infidelity. Tomorrow he may say she was chatting with a work colleague on WhatsApp.

With that alone, nothing he says can be taken seriously as he his simply packaging himself as the blameless victim in this saga.

The original story is the husband with a wife who got a job and then started fking around. Now it is husband with wife who was chatting on WhatsApp.

What new variations will we hear about the family? Maybe he will say the dad actually lent him money.

Las Las this is a long game engagement exercise

MondayOmoAdugbo:
Collect your kids
Collect your kids
Collect your kids


How many times did I say that?

One more time, collect your kids...

🤐


⛷️

ignorance is killing most of you guys in Nigeria, reason why you guys are cursed with useless leaders. He should take his kids like the kids aren't for the woman also. Who told you the man will be granted custody to the kids when officially divorce? Law is above your emotions

Villa12:
ignorance is killing most of you guys in Nigeria, reason why you guys are cursed with useless leaders. He should take his kids like the kids aren't for the woman also. Who told you the man will be granted custody to the kids when officially divorce? Law is above your emotions

Sorry I can't read and write... please send a voice note

madridguy:
Men are the price.

Men and women don't have equal right in my own dictionary and my own state of origin.

Carry your village mentality go court of law say Men and Women are not equal. Let's see if you'd win the case and have the child custody