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My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by VanuatuWycombe:
BlindAngel:
We quarrel, we fight, she normally holds my shirt and slack and wide my shirt neck which I hates and it's extremely painful to me to my bone marrow, but I don't think it'd be possible for us to hurt ourselves deeply. Only once has she carried knife and threatened to stab me, we were still dating then and haven't married, that day she destroyed my qasa standing fan and nearly broke my TV, since then until date such level of anger and destruction hasn't erupt, until date.

Recently she only holds my shirt and never letting go and challenge me to beat her. Which sometimes I loose myself and sometimes I don't. Recently she told her mom and my mom that I normally beats her, and I asked her if she has ever gotten a swollen eye or bleeding nose that some men normally beats their wife to such extend which I haven't ever gone to such length.
You saw the red flag 🚩 before marrying her but you wanted to prove t’emi yato. And you were enjoying free kpekus. You are hooked.
Better look for exit point and ja.

Good you separate with her now before you k.ee someone’s daughter.

She’s not from a good home. She only used you to prove a point to her siblings that she can get properly married unlike others that got pregnant along the line.

Don’t pay a dime to her family for the burial. They are exploiters. Ebinna gbogbo ni won.

File for a divorce before your life ruins.

Na divorce you divorce. You no k.èè person

Reorganize your life and face your future and don’t neglect your child she has for your. Take 100% care of him or her and always show up for the baby when needed.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by idahme(m): 10:34pm On Nov 13, 2024
123yes:
Guy you talk like a child. The list they gave you was correct. As an in-law you must bring goat or cow for the burial right of your in-laws. Do you want to tell us you don't have customs in you're own town or you fall from the sky? Does it mean you don't have umunnah or family members?. Poverty is a curse. Some In-laws single handedly bury their in-laws. The family did the right thing by not giving those men who got those your ladies in-laws pregnant because the family of your wife did not recognize the as in-laws because those men have not done the needful.
At least for now, you are an in-law to that family. It is you duty to take that family as part of your own family than coming here on nairaland to rant like some one who never suck her mothers breasts.
You better take responsibility and accountability for your parents and not expect someone else to do your job as a child. When sharing property you will invite in-law and aportion his shares for him I guess?
If you like be the most wealthy in-law na Mr and my siblings go bury our parents that our responsibility and we won't put that on the heads of others. Start been responsible for your family
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by ezekuche(m): 10:34pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
u did well bro , the brotherhood is very proud of you. U really represented us well kudos to you..
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by odimbannamdi(m): 10:35pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
We quarrel, we fight, she normally holds my shirt and slack and wide my shirt neck which I hates and it's extremely painful to me to my bone marrow, but I don't think it'd be possible for us to hurt ourselves deeply. Only once has she carried knife and threatened to stab me, we were still dating then and haven't married, that day she destroyed my qasa standing fan and nearly broke my TV, since then until date such level of anger and destruction hasn't erupt, until date.

Recently she only holds my shirt and never letting go and challenge me to beat her. Which sometimes I loose myself and sometimes I don't. Recently she told her mom and my mom that I normally beats her, and I asked her if she has ever gotten a swollen eye or bleeding nose that some men normally beats their wife to such extend which I haven't ever gone to such length.
Both of you should leave that marriage ASAP before someone kills the other
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by akpunda86: 10:36pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
Bros ur a man just hope ur marriage survived after this cos similar shoe as yours but the marriage ended immediately after the. Mum burial cos I asked the two brothers if na me kill their mama, said all inlaws will pay 650k ,there are things I don't argue only mistake u made was u would have just said okay move out and that all
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Obviouslyblunt: 10:37pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
As I'm talking to you right now, they are saying all manners of words, that I disrespected them and the they won't pity me with the list they'd give me.

That aside, to be brutally honest with you, I didn't mean to disrespect them, I have tried all manner of ways to walk out of this marriage but I don't see that happening. Maybe this will be the deal breaker, I won't do any of what they mentioned, absolutely none. I believe it'd make them hate me and by God's grace I pray and I'm praying hard for them to talk about returning my bride price to me.
if you’ll listen to me, leave that marriage. If you go back they’ll never forget this. Leave, they’ll eventually come begging when they notice you are serious but don’t panic, stand you ground and leave/
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by akpunda86: 10:39pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
Op no be mba 5people
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by GiZcorp: 10:42pm On Nov 13, 2024
You're simply foolish... So after showing us how nonsensical you are we should start clapping for youhuh
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Obviouslyblunt: 10:43pm On Nov 13, 2024
Free2Fly:
But he over reacted nah grin
He should have calmly told the brother inlaw that it's not acceptable for any particular amount to be levied on him as an inlaw, but he would give whatever he could raise willingly to them as a gift.
The family can levy their daughter, but not the husband.
The husbands can only assist with whatever they can offer or help their wives fulfil the levies shared to them.
you are talking about a guy that wants out of that marriage.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by LoveThemChubby(m): 10:47pm On Nov 13, 2024
Let me school you a bit. No Nigerian tradition recognises boy friend or baby daddy. As long as the other sisters are not married, they are not recognised by the tradition even though they have had kids long before you came in and are still actively fucking their daughter. Marriage is a responsibility that is what makes us different. By the way, so she was attractive to Bleep but not to marry? cheesy cool cool shocked undecided Op better repent
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by LEGALSER: 10:48pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
For my place na first daughter husband dey buy coffin and do other things. You allow woman force you into marriage grin cheesy grin grin cheesy
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Assetosky(m): 10:50pm On Nov 13, 2024
500 gold circle would have solved this............you are a potential pepper soup Choper
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by searchlight: 10:51pm On Nov 13, 2024
kevwemike:
Guy wat is wrong with U? Why are U talking like a child, U don't like the girl but Ur dick like her pussy to the extent U got her pregnant, and U are here saying that she force u into the marriage, u dey here urself? The truth is that wat the family counted for U is the right thing to do as in-law , just try and do the needful is Ur in-law.
Meaning that if he does do it the man wont be buried right? The man go stay for mortuary for decades. Don't marry from a useless family Una no go hear.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by searchlight: 10:52pm On Nov 13, 2024
Ginaz:
You should have respected her a bit, the outbursts are not needed in this critical time that her dad is dead. She needs you for comfort and peace , you can tell the family the extent you can assist financially without degrading her worth before her people.

You did wrong. Despite you don't love her , she's a human with feelings. I can't imagine being reminded how I'm not needed constantly by my husband, she's going through a lot.

Be kind or rather seek a divorce if you can't stand the marriage anymore.
He should have accepted the bills right? A weakling.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Obviouslyblunt: 10:53pm On Nov 13, 2024
pointblank247:
You need to apologise to your wife if possible in the presence of her family. Do you really know that gravity of what you said. How will she talk in the presence of other siblings with what you reduced her to. Even if you are not doing again, you should not have belittled the mother of your child(ren) like that.

Now to the billing
You should have calmly told them that you wouldn't do it. Without raising your voice..
If I were you I would go back and apologise to save the face of your wife and then tell them about the unacceptable billing.

I also will like to know the name of the state of your wife and if possible the name of her village
make this Nigg fck off jor.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by TrackerSK: 10:55pm On Nov 13, 2024
Dtruthspeaker:
Bros, which tribe? Make we warn our pikin dem make dem no go chook trap!
You just want scatter this thread kpatakpata.Are you related to T.pain
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Arostar2023: 10:55pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
You are indeed not ready for marriage. That's why we are warned against premarital sex AKA fornication. Unfortunately, like many of us, you are reaping what you sowed.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by akpunda86: 10:56pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
As I'm talking to you right now, they are saying all manners of words, that I disrespected them and the they won't pity me with the list they'd give me.

That aside, to be brutally honest with you, I didn't mean to disrespect them, I have tried all manner of ways to walk out of this marriage but I don't see that happening. Maybe this will be the deal breaker, I won't do any of what they mentioned, absolutely none. I believe it'd make them hate me and by God's grace I pray and I'm praying hard for them to talk about returning my bride price to me.
Can u help me with her id love marry her looking 4 a single mum to marry
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Omekagwu: 10:56pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
As I'm talking to you right now, they are saying all manners of words, that I disrespected them and the they won't pity me with the list they'd give me.

That aside, to be brutally honest with you, I didn't mean to disrespect them, I have tried all manner of ways to walk out of this marriage but I don't see that happening. Maybe this will be the deal breaker, I won't do any of what they mentioned, absolutely none. I believe it'd make them hate me and by God's grace I pray and I'm praying hard for them to talk
about returning my bride price to me.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Obviouslyblunt: 10:56pm On Nov 13, 2024
Farrason:
Indeed, you sounded like someone under pressure. I believe as an Adult, no one can force you do what you will not want to do... You feel furious cos you think that your wife took advantage of you with the suicide thingy.

Grow bro... You shouldn't have gotten her preggy in the first place, who were you relegating her with the pregnancy to?

Now is the time to man-up. I believe no one in this life can pressure you unless you allow it.

The inlaws are not a problem at all. As an in-law, it's customary that you support in the burial if you can. So, just settle them what you can support them with and lock up. You are married already - None of them can do you anything again.

For marriage between you and your wife, You need to talk to yourself in clear terms... You feel your wife played you emotional blackmail - this is the issue here. You may be wrong... What if she meant it

Forget the expenses... I bet you, if your heart was in it(wife, baby, marriage), the money no be problem. More money will come. Amen

Remember the story of a lady who quarrelled with her fiancee and jumped off 3rd Mainland bridge... I bet he too called it a bluff.

Whether marriage met you settled or not... You have a baby on the line in it now.

My advice is act responsible ..... in what ever way "responsible" means to you.
fck off.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by searchlight: 10:58pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Exactly what a friend told me this morning.

But they're claiming that it's their culture and traditions and that's how it is. I really wish to know if not donating or giving a dime would affect me spiritually, that's my only fear right now since they said it's their tradition.
You are a typical African man. Still be threatened by spiritual nonsense. Yeah, you will die if you don't do it ooo. Go and pay the bills. I thought you had sense.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by searchlight: 11:02pm On Nov 13, 2024
madridguy:
If you know what is good for you just go and apologize to your wife, mother-inlaw and the entire family.

If you know you cannot do their culture, why marry their daughter?

While you were sleeping with their daughter without protection, pouring your seed in her body what result are you expecting?

After that, did they put a gun on your head to pay and bride price and marry her?

I will suggest you don't make unnecessary enemies, just try and calm down and see what you could do.... Life na gently no be everything be gra gra my brother.
That's why he's decided to make her a single mother. At least with that no nonsense expenses.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Omekagwu: 11:02pm On Nov 13, 2024
Bro stop saying you don't love your wife, has she not been supportive or respectful. You don marry, you better respect that woman and make out the best out marriage. Enjoy your marriage and love her with the kids she will bear for you. Stop this childish talk, if you dare leave that lady, don't be surprised to enter the worst marriage you will regret and won't have a successful marriage again. As for your inlaws, you would have just laughed at them and tell them you can only support them and won't do all that list , it's nonsense.I know the part of country that does this rubbish. If they can't gather themselves and bury there father, they should leave him in the morgue. Go and read Ovunda most be free by Brian and don't allow any inlaws to try that nonsense with, you have married there daughter and paid in full. When the burial time comes, just send your little support to your inlaws and your wife to help her give her dad a befitting burial. No go dull yourself
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Alaga2222(m): 11:03pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
I understand your points, but me doing the right thing by getting married to their daughter and removing shame from her eye's now seems like a crime. The one's that got their daughter pregnant and didn't do anything on their head, not even an introduction are on the safer side right now. No single expense was calculated for them, I have always regretted this marriage right from the very first day, but this recent development just made me regret it 10x more

than I already did.
Why did you spend 4M for a woman you don’t love from the very first day? This matter no clear oo
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by writeprof(m): 11:03pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
Sorry. You're in an environment where those who do the right thing get punishment. Maybe, you should just take a vacation because of all these STRESS.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by idahme(m): 11:05pm On Nov 13, 2024
ObalendeCMS:
I like the way you cast your wife in the presence of her siblings & mom.

They've been leveraging on the fact that they thought you met her a virgin.

Let them bear that shame in the mean time!
How will the family be using her virginity to taunt the dude for a long time, that's crazy. The dude shouldn't have gone that far though.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by JASONjnr(m):
BlindAngel:
And millions of guys that got women pregnant and left them as baby mama's?? What would you say about them? I'm I the first to get a woman I'm not in anyway attracted to pregnant??
Stop justifying nonsense.

A woman's body changes and their hormones gets altered when they get pregnant.

You can't love a slim girl and who becomes fat after giving birth to your child.

You did the right thing to legally marry her.

But do you think it makes sense telling people that a grown up man was pressured to do something he never wanted to?

Please, you are a married man, you should grow into learning how to manage a situation as you will have to teach your children lots of things.

Your wife will stand by you if you two have an understanding and she will not allow her family to use you. But you don't carry her along because you now hate her.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Ezemeiyogu(m): 11:07pm On Nov 13, 2024
Yeye man. See how you re repeatedly heaping the blame on her that she forced you into marriage. Such a kindergarten storyline.

Oga rest! Something else dey vex you not the things they said you should buy because they have not forced you to buy them. Which means you can decide to buy or not, except they will force you this time as your wife forced you to marry her.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by Obviouslyblunt: 11:07pm On Nov 13, 2024
optimismlaz:
My brother if you cares to listen, you did wrong , that their tradition other sisters of hers are not traditionally married and they cannot be tasked or asked to bring something. You must perform your traditional duties and there a lot of benefits and also there also consequences. Act wise
now, what if he no longer wants to be married to her?
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by SWATMan: 11:08pm On Nov 13, 2024
BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.
You messed up. If I may ask, how old are you? Somethings are better never said. By saying you are not physically attracted to your wife signals that marriage to you is all about sex. Stop playing the victim card. You took her to bed, and not the other way round. Your outburst also indicates that you are selfish and cares less about the product of your union i.e the baby. Grow up man certain things happen in our earthly journey that changes our cause in life, you are not alone.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by otipoju(m): 11:09pm On Nov 13, 2024
maasoap:
You don't force people to remain in a loveless marriage, otherwise it will end in tragedy one day. He should man up and do what he wants before someone decide to murder him while sleeping or poison him.
This is why I like white people, they walk out of marriage the moment they don't feel that love anymore
He does not need to stay married to her.

He does not need to maltreat and abuse her emotionally either.
Re: My Wife Family Mounting Their Father Burial Expense On Me, How I Reacted At Once by idahme(m): 11:10pm On Nov 13, 2024
okoroemeka:
he took a manly decision but applied it as a woman,he could just tell them his mind and walked away without the drama, excatly same thing happened to me when my father in-law died and they said the inlaws will contribute #100k each in 2008,I reminded them that my mother died in 2006 and they were not taxed or told to contribute anything,I walked away with my wife furious with me,I only went on the burial date with what is proper for an inlaw to come with,goat,drinks and cash in envelope,final full stop
2008 goat was not even up to 12k meaning that money was equivalent to 10 goats say na you kill their papa? This is absurd and men should learn how to say no in this scenario. It's because people say yes that is why they do it to others, children not knowing their responsibilities anymore but want an outsider to do it for them that's crazy.
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