₦airaland Forum

kevwemike:
oga read wat the guy wrote B4 U comment, is not the only in-law, the family only counted wat in-law dose, is now left for him to talk to the wife to help him talk to her family.

BlindAngel:
As I'm talking to you right now, they are saying all manners of words, that I disrespected them and the they won't pity me with the list they'd give me.

That aside, to be brutally honest with you, I didn't mean to disrespect them, I have tried all manner of ways to walk out of this marriage but I don't see that happening. Maybe this will be the deal breaker, I won't do any of what they mentioned, absolutely none. I believe it'd make them hate me and by God's grace I pray and I'm praying hard for them to talk about returning my bride price to me.

BlindAngel:
She didn't forced me to sign but she 101% compelled me to go see her parents, still feels like yesterday, I can remember the endless daily troubles she gave me back then back then, those period was totally hell for me.

Twoclans:
The annoying thing is that if she looses her life in the process they will start shedding crocodile tears.

No shame or dignity at all.

Poverty is a hydra headed disease.I don't wish it for anybody honestly.

SlayQueenSlayer:
Even the prostitute has to be attractive in the eyes of the client. I am not talking about love here.

BlindAngel:
She hasn't seen her dad for more than 10 years and counting, he was In another state, the day of our traditional marriage (February) was when she and her biological sisters saw him last. He was seriously sick, since February until he gave up the ghost today. He was in town ever since they brought him to collect the bride price, seriously sick. Since February until date my wife and her sisters none went to see him, not even once, they claimed he abandoned them when they were young, that whenever they went to visit him he'd lock the protector and talk to them inside while they're standing outside. I repeat since February until date they haven't set their eyes on him despite the fact that he was seriously sick and in same town with them.

That aside whenever my wife is disturbing me and I reminded her that I'm a loner and loves being alone, she'd get furious and always tell me that I'd die a very slow, lonely and painful death. This words still ring a bell on my head, and thinking about how they totally abandoned and hates their dad because their mother hates him is another thing that'd make me take her threat seriously.

chris51:
You got yourself into this mess, so deal with it. You decided to have unprotected sex with someone you claimed you don't love in this 21st century, whose fault is it? "YOURS"

As for the in-law that died, no one can force you to do anything. In a normal set up, his children should share the responsibility and you support your wife carry out her responsibility.

Your outburst in her family house was uncalled for, you should have walked out of the place respectfully without insulating anyone.

BlindAngel:
We quarrel, we fight, she normally holds my shirt and slack and wide my shirt neck which I hates and it's extremely painful to me to my bone marrow, but I don't think it'd be possible for us to hurt ourselves deeply. Only once has she carried knife and threatened to stab me, we were still dating then and haven't married, that day she destroyed my qasa standing fan and nearly broke my TV, since then until date such level of anger and destruction hasn't erupt, until date.

Recently she only holds my shirt and never letting go and challenge me to beat her. Which sometimes I loose myself and sometimes I don't. Recently she told her mom and my mom that I normally beats her, and I asked her if she has ever gotten a swollen eye or bleeding nose that some men normally beats their wife to such extend which I haven't ever gone to such length.

Procashtips:
Wetin concern attractiveness with prostitutes?

Nobi people dey sleep with old prostitutes with all the stretch marks here and there?

We4all:
It is only Africans that will audaciously bill their in-laws and think it is their right. Although her brother is entitled and highly irresponsible, I think you over reacted.

I feel screaming at her mom was very disrespectful and uncalled for. Next time, try to work on your emotions. Emotional intelligence is a survival skill.

LoveThemChubby:
I will be and my answer is that I never bleeped anyone before marriage. My wide was my first.

BadBradley:
the other so-called in-laws haven't paid bride price so they are not married and are not considered in-laws.

He and the other in-law that had paid bride price are the ones tasked for the burial levies.

Still doesn't answer the question of where in any Nigerian custom are in-laws in charge of burying a man?

SlayQueenSlayer:
How your preek wan take stand when you no see the sexual attractiveness of the person?

BlindAngel:

My wife has been the one holding me back, she's not ready to let go. I told her that she should at least get some dignity, someone doesn't want you but you're forcing yourself on him. That most women in her shoes would have walkes away without blinking an eye, due to the constant humiliation and disrespect, but still she isn't in anyway ready to let go.

She told me that she's ready for me to return the bride price but we'd still be together, which I plainly rejected.

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

BlindAngel:
She hasn't seen her dad for more than 10 years and counting, he was In another state, the day of our traditional marriage (February) was when she and her biological sisters saw him last. He was seriously sick, since February until he gave up the ghost today. He was in town ever since they brought him to collect the bride price, seriously sick. Since February until date my wife and her sisters none went to see him, not even once, they claimed he abandoned them when they were young, that whenever they went to visit him he'd lock the protector and talk to them inside while they're standing outside. I repeat since February until date they haven't set their eyes on him despite the fact that he was seriously sick and in same town with them.

That aside whenever my wife is disturbing me and I reminded her that I'm a loner and loves being alone, she'd get furious and always tell me that I'd die a very slow, lonely and painful death. This words still ring a bell on my head, and thinking about how they totally abandoned and hates their dad because their mother hates him is another thing that'd make me take her threat seriously.

BlindAngel:
Good evening Nairalanders, few months ago I posted here regarding how my wife forced me into marriage that I wasn't in anyway ready for because she got pregnant. I posted about the regret I'm still battling until date, because the love isn't there from my own end and I'm also not in anyway attracted to her physically. I have told her severally that I want to option out of the marriage and not doing again but until date she has refused to let me go.

Back to the main point, my wife lost her dad this morning. Her deceased dad has two wife's and several concubines that gave birth to lots of children, my wife doesn't know some of her half brothers and sisters.

So I went to their family house this morning to console them. The eldest son of the family (her half brother) told me and another in law that we'd be the one to pay for mortuary expenses and casket, and when the burial is getting closer they'd give us a list of things to buy and we'd both bring one goats each.

To be brutally honest I wasn't mad because of this latest expense, I got furious immediately and right on the spot because of the pressure my wife pressured me into getting married to her, by now I'd have been totally free of these unnecessary expenses. More than 19 of her sisters, both biological and half sisters that has given birth, no single expense was listed for their man that they got pregnant for and has a child for. But I and the other in law that paid dowry are the one going through these unnecessary expenses.

So immediately he told me about everything, I charged at my wife right on the spot, right in front of her mom, her brothers, her sisters and some of her friends that came for condolence visit. I got so furious and started shouting at the top of my voice, I reminded her how she forced me into marriage that I'm not in anyway prepared and ready for, both physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially. (I have been reminding her regarding this almost on a daily basis and whenever we are quarreling.

I reminded her how she threatened me with suicide and our of fear of the unknown I wasted almost 4m in getting married to her. I told her that I'd have been free of these expenses if not for her pressure.

Immediately she burst into tears, and started crying endlessly.

Her mom and sisters started yelling at me and I yelled back at all of them. They told me I met her a Virgin and now she's no longer good for me (truly, the whole family thought that I was the one that took her virginity) My wife and I agreed to keep it a secret, but the constant remainder from her mom and sisters made me let the cat out of the bag, I told them that I didn't met her a Virgin that she has already started having sex when I met her, they didn't believe me but with my tone, I know they'd.

I also made mentioned that I'm not buying any goat or paying for mortuary or taking any list from them. That it's their dad and they should take care of every responsibilities, after all he has uncountable children, why putting some of the expense on me? I walked away, and switched off my phone until now that I'm just putting it on.

I know that I acted wrongly and allowed my anger to get the best part of me. But I was furious because no single bill went to her sister's baby father's, absolutely nothing was listed for them. I got furious because these expenses won't be on me right now if not for her pressuring me into marriage that I want ready for. I was furious because I and the other in law that they billed became the scape goat by doing the right thing by getting married and not leaving theirs daughter In ruins, where as those that got their daughter pregnant without getting married to them were totally free from these unnecessary bills. I'm in so much pains and regret right now.

Procashtips:
I ask again, nobi people dey sleep with those old prostitutes with stretch marks?

chidiokay:
Alol !! 🤣🤣🤣 this guy naa full blown narcissist i swear, why should a lady you dont like one bit stay calm, wait for what ?? dont you listen to yourself

why didnt you wait till you were ready for marriage b4 sex abi weytin bible tell us ...
you are the one holding yoursef captive not the marriage not the lady cos you are allowing your past hold you captive

A woman that can force you to get her pregnant, marry her and keep you till now .. should have it easy pissy to force you sponspor her papa burial naw, why is "her force" not working now ?? the burial bill no even reach 4m wey you don spend 😄

I am surprise you didnt blame her for times you didnt have money sef, bad leg/astura
weytin we never see for street.

olohun ma je ko pe ko toh ye é

kevwemike:
there are tins the in-laws must do, MUST it varys from couture to couture. So he needs to take responsibility of is part.

BlindAngel:
Thank you so very much sir, your wisdom will never run dry. Please permit me to copy this response to my notepad, I'd be needing it for future reference. Most especially the part that you stated in laws are only known as an in law when it comes to liabilities. Thank you so very much sir, may thy Lord God Almighty shower his unending blessings upon your life and that of your household, thank you so very much, I really do appreciate, thank you.