₦airaland Forum

I've been married for a while now and I have a daughter.

My wife and I has always had issues, anytime issues arise her first reaction is to leave the marriage.

She has said this several time and u cautioned her about the statement because I don't like it ( she's making it seem she's doing me a favor by marrying me)

So last week we got into an issue because of my younger sister who I gave money to for her store rent, my wife found out about it and was very angry, she said that I gave my sister money without informing her and that she needed Money I refused to give her ( I gave her 150k Dat same day to change her Clothes).
She also accused me of cheating which was not true, she said she very young and fresh and she can go outside anytime.

She had once told me that she had cheated on her boyfriend with another guy once when she was in school because the boyfriend was misbehaving.

So I thought about everything and the fact that she continuously accuses me of being a bad husband, and abusive husband ( I've never hit her before) and that she was tired of the marriage.

So I'm thinking of calling her father and collecting the bride price I paid for her because I'm tired of the whole thing

bro i am not here to put asunder... just do what is best for you

Well before you make any decision.
Sit her down n ask if she's no longer interested in the marriage so you both can part ways...
Her response will tell you what next should be ur line of action..
N.B: Don't let a woman threaten u that she's young n beautiful..
Tell her u are handsome and financially comfortable.
Anyways that's childish.
Just give her your rules...if she can't give you peace of mind then she goes.

My brother,if you know within your deepest heart of hearts that you can't endure her bad attitude anymore, just divorce her and fight for sole or joint custody of your daughter.
Your daughter obviously resents your family members for partaking of your material possessions and it's never something to ignore.
Listen!
If she sees any friend who would introduce her to diabolism where she would use charms to draw your mind and attention away completely from your immediate family; she would quickly embrace that friend as it stands now with you.
Women can be completely unpredictable and very dangerous.
And they are more dangerous when involved in diabolism.
Another option: If she sees any man who shows an interest in her for a sexual relationship in exchange for money and gifts, she won't hesitate to agree.
Women like that can sleep with even your boss in the office, your friends and business associates.
She's using " being tired of the marriage" as a weapon of threat to force you to succumb to her every whims and caprices.
A wife with a bad attitude should never be tolerated for any reason.

Valoromega:
I've been married for a while now and I have a daughter.

My wife and I has always had issues, anytime issues arise her first reaction is to leave the marriage.

She has said this several time and u cautioned her about the statement because I don't like it ( she's making it seem she's doing me a favor by marrying me)

So last week we got into an issue because of my younger sister who I gave money to for her store rent, my wife found out about it and was very angry, she said that I gave my sister money without informing her and that she needed Money I refused to give her ( I gave her 150k Dat same day to change her Clothes).
She also accused me of cheating which was not true, she said she very young and fresh and she can go outside anytime.

She had once told me that she had cheated on her boyfriend with another guy once when she was in school because the boyfriend was misbehaving.

So I thought about everything and the fact that she continuously accuses me of being a bad husband, and abusive husband ( I've never hit her before) and that she was tired of the marriage.

So I'm thinking of calling her father and collecting the bride price I paid for her because I'm tired of the whole thing

A wise person once said
"Better to live in the Wilderness, than to live with a CONTENTIOUS WOMAN"

I may not fully be abreast with the severity of the misfortunes in your marriage right now. But going by the story you posted up there, I don't think that you have a problem in your marriage.

Actually, by not telling your wife before handing that financial assistance to your sister is enough to give your wife reasons to be concerned regardless whether you gave her money for clothing as well.
Your sincerity is put to question.
What you're trying to make her understand is that 1 + 1 is equal to 2 which is correct outside marriage but in marriage, 1 + 1 is equal to 1.
Aside emergency situations, every intentions and reactions are supposed to be shared at all times no matter how weighty or light they may be.
This is one way to build trust and shut the door to suspicions.

Please take her for counseling. Ignorant is part of her problem.

Also, depending on the kind of parent she has, if need be, they also need to know of her excesses.

May God give you wisdom in Jesus name

she said she very young and fresh and she can go outside anytime.

This alone is enough to make me leave a woman, whether girlfriend or wife.

YouandiAllofus:
I may not fully be abreast with the severity of the misfortunes in your marriage right now. But going by the story you posted up there, I don't think that you have a problem in your marriage.

Actually, by not telling your wife before handing that financial assistance to your sister is enough to give your wife reasons to be concerned regardless whether you gave her money for clothing as well.
Your sincerity is put to question.
What you're trying to make her understand is that 1 + 1 is equal to 2 which is correct outside marriage but in marriage, 1 + 1 is equal to 1.
Aside emergency situations, every intentions and reactions are supposed to be shared at all times no matter how weighty or light they may be.
This is one way to build trust and shut the door to suspicions.

If this comment was made by by a woman, then I can understand. But if you're a man, I have nothing to say

She has started seeing someone else hence looking for petty excuses to back out.

Imagine you don't abuse her yet she keeps accusing you wrongly and be gaslighting you.

thesicilian:
If this comment was made by by a woman, then I can understand. But if you're a man, I have nothing to say

What more have you to say in the bare face of the just and truthful?

Follow your instincts.

This could be one side of the story

Divorce her and have peace, if she can be mad you gave your sister money she didn't help you earn. She is a witch, run for your life bro.
She's already made it clear she doesn't love or respect you by always threatening to leave.
Kick her back into the streets. Don suffer because you have a child with her else you'll die before your time.

thesicilian:
If this comment was made by by a woman, then I can understand. But if you're a man, I have nothing to say

Very foolish comment a man doesn't need his wife's opinion or permission to give his family financial assistance unless they run a joint business..

YouandiAllofus:
I may not fully be abreast with the severity of the misfortunes in your marriage right now. But going by the story you posted up there, I don't think that you have a problem in your marriage.

Actually, by not telling your wife before handing that financial assistance to your sister is enough to give your wife reasons to be concerned regardless whether you gave her money for clothing as well.
Your sincerity is put to question.
What you're trying to make her understand is that 1 + 1 is equal to 2 which is correct outside marriage but in marriage, 1 + 1 is equal to 1.
Aside emergency situations, every intentions and reactions are supposed to be shared at all times no matter how weighty or light they may be.
This is one way to build trust and shut the door to suspicions.

NONSENSE POST

The day a man marry a woman
That is the day she looses her full freedom

Sometimes when woman is tired of a man or want freedom they bring up stupid issue drama just to make you upset ..

Tell her your mind ..
Call her an ask her if she want to leave
So you both can leave in peace ✌️

If she cheated , divorce sharply. No dey waste time. The fact that she even mention cheating is a cause of alarm. Normally spouse do not say i have cheated before or i will cheat on you or you have cheated on me even in the most heated arguments.

YouandiAllofus:
I may not fully be abreast with the severity of the misfortunes in your marriage right now. But going by the story you posted up there, I don't think that you have a problem in your marriage.

Actually, by not telling your wife before handing that financial assistance to your sister is enough to give your wife reasons to be concerned regardless whether you gave her money for clothing as well.
Your sincerity is put to question.
What you're trying to make her understand is that 1 + 1 is equal to 2 which is correct outside marriage but in marriage, 1 + 1 is equal to 1.
Aside emergency situations, every intentions and reactions are supposed to be shared at all times no matter how weighty or light they may be.
This is one way to build trust and shut the door to suspicions.

Do you really think this? ...

A woman who at every little issue threatens to leave the marriage, is not an issue? ...

A woman who paints the picture of doing you a favor by staying married to you, is not an issue? ...

A woman who consistently makes unfounded accusations without proof, is no issue? ...

A woman who constantly tells you, "I'm fresh and young and I can go outside anytime", in other words, "I can cheat on you whenever I please, because I can", is not an issue? ...

A woman whose ultimate way of dealing with a "misbehaving partner" is cheating rather than open and honest communication, is not an issue? ...

A woman who calls her husband names despite providing for her to the best of his abilities, is not an issue? ...

Wawu!!! ...

The OP certainly isn't perfect, but if all you see in his story, are only his shortcomings and not his wife's, then indeed, your sense of judgement is questionable ...

Valoromega:
I've been married for a while now and I have a daughter.

My wife and I has always had issues, anytime issues arise her first reaction is to leave the marriage.

She has said this several time and u cautioned her about the statement because I don't like it ( she's making it seem she's doing me a favor by marrying me)

So last week we got into an issue because of my younger sister who I gave money to for her store rent, my wife found out about it and was very angry, she said that I gave my sister money without informing her and that she needed Money I refused to give her ( I gave her 150k Dat same day to change her Clothes).
She also accused me of cheating which was not true, she said she very young and fresh and she can go outside anytime.

She had once told me that she had cheated on her boyfriend with another guy once when she was in school because the boyfriend was misbehaving.

So I thought about everything and the fact that she continuously accuses me of being a bad husband, and abusive husband ( I've never hit her before) and that she was tired of the marriage.

So I'm thinking of calling her father and collecting the bride price I paid for her because I'm tired of the whole thing

I feel you married a Gen Z.
Give am another belle, her head go soon calm down when she starts school run matter

YouandiAllofus:
I may not fully be abreast with the severity of the misfortunes in your marriage right now. But going by the story you posted up there, I don't think that you have a problem in your marriage.

Actually, by not telling your wife before handing that financial assistance to your sister is enough to give your wife reasons to be concerned regardless whether you gave her money for clothing as well.
Your sincerity is put to question.
What you're trying to make her understand is that 1 + 1 is equal to 2 which is correct outside marriage but in marriage, 1 + 1 is equal to 1.
Aside emergency situations, every intentions and reactions are supposed to be shared at all times no matter how weighty or light they may be.
This is one way to build trust and shut the door to suspicions.

But if it was her sister or brother that he gave the money, everywhere would have been peaceful. Our grandfathers didn't tolerate this shit and their marriage was as solid as rock

If it brings you peace, it's the one.

You need to man enough let her go if you don't want to die at your prime I value peace of mind, what concerns her about what you gave your sister

YouandiAllofus:
I may not fully be abreast with the severity of the misfortunes in your marriage right now. But going by the story you posted up there, I don't think that you have a problem in your marriage.

Actually, by not telling your wife before handing that financial assistance to your sister is enough to give your wife reasons to be concerned regardless whether you gave her money for clothing as well.
Your sincerity is put to question.
What you're trying to make her understand is that 1 + 1 is equal to 2 which is correct outside marriage but in marriage, 1 + 1 is equal to 1.
Aside emergency situations, every intentions and reactions are supposed to be shared at all times no matter how weighty or light they may be.
This is one way to build trust and shut the door to suspicions.

No wonder this generation keeps breeding weak and foolish men …so you must discuss with your wife before helping your siblings,what if she doesn’t accept ,what then happens…..

Jman06:
NONSENSE POST

Leave my post. Post your sensible one.

Fahvvy:
Do you really think this? ...

A woman who at every little issue threatens to leave the marriage, is not an issue? ...

A woman who paints the picture of doing you a favor by staying married to you, is not an issue? ...

A woman who consistently makes unfounded accusations without proof, is no issue? ...

A woman who constantly tells you, "I'm fresh and young and I can go outside anytime", in other words, "I can cheat on you whenever I please, because I can", is not an issue? ...

A woman whose ultimate way of dealing with a "misbehaving partner" is cheating rather than open and honest communication, is not an issue? ...

A woman who calls her husband names despite providing for her to the best of his abilities, is not an issue? ...

Wawu!!! ...

The OP certainly isn't perfect, but if all you see in his story, are only his shortcomings and not his wife's, then indeed, your sense of judgement is questionable ...

While I must acknowledge your efforts at trying to highlight grey areas, don't also forget that the many parts found in a tree gets it's source of nutrients from one part of the tree that is usually unseen in most cases. That is the root.

There is a difference between verbal threat and actual act.
Quitting your marriage based on those issues listed above is kindergarten.
Like in all men, all women are no far different from one another. Know this and know peace.

Let me be clear!
There maybe multiple unresolved cases with the marriage. And instead of properly burying those cases, they just decide to put them in shallow graves hence their resuscitation at every slight provocation that lead to altercations.
Instead of resolving these issues one after the other, the man is busy trying to add more by chosing to make and execute the law while at the same time taking the role of the judiciary in the home.
Being autocratic in a democratic setting is always going to be met with resistance.

Mumu, divorce that bastard and move

mosicola:
But if it was her sister or brother that he gave the money, everywhere would have been peaceful. Our grandfathers didn't tolerate this shit and their marriage was as solid as rock

It's premature to take such assumption.
What is wrong is wrong whether such wrong was done to Kane or Abel.

In the days of our fathers, the level of awareness is not the same as the level of awareness right now.
Some of our parents endured all sorts of marital abuses without been aware that those were actually abuses.
For instance, some of our fathers married our mothers because of their large farm that required labour.
This is morally wrong.

viceddy95:
No wonder this generation keeps breeding weak and foolish men …so you must discuss with your wife before helping your siblings,what if she doesn’t accept ,what then happens…..

Yes!
You must discuss every important issue with your partner. In marriage, there are supposed to be no room for secrets.
And if she doesn't accept, it is either you failed to make her see good enough reasons to accept or there is a reservation she is keeping away from you.

Either way, presenting issues before her doesn't always mean that she has to consent. If she knows her onion, she will know when to give her consent and if the man knows his onion, he will know when to listen to her woman's consent.
But the most important thing is updating her with the awareness of your intention and actions.

Valoromega:
I've been married for a while now and I have a daughter.

My wife and I has always had issues, anytime issues arise her first reaction is to leave the marriage.

She has said this several time and u cautioned her about the statement because I don't like it ( she's making it seem she's doing me a favor by marrying me)

So last week we got into an issue because of my younger sister who I gave money to for her store rent, my wife found out about it and was very angry, she said that I gave my sister money without informing her and that she needed Money I refused to give her ( I gave her 150k Dat same day to change her Clothes).
She also accused me of cheating which was not true, she said she very young and fresh and she can go outside anytime.

She had once told me that she had cheated on her boyfriend with another guy once when she was in school because the boyfriend was misbehaving.

So I thought about everything and the fact that she continuously accuses me of being a bad husband, and abusive husband ( I've never hit her before) and that she was tired of the marriage.

So I'm thinking of calling her father and collecting the bride price I paid for her because I'm tired of the whole thing

You are an igbo man and they are the weakest of men when it comes to marriage

Let her leave, don't ever try to make her stay. If you make her stay, you've destroyed the power balance of your marriage against you, and you'll suffer for it more,

Lots of women who married young are under the illusion that the romance market is static, and didn't change after they got married. Also, women confuse male attention for male commitment.

If single women in their early twenties are facing hell to get a good man, what more your wife?

Let her leave, then she will learn a bitter lesson that there is an extremely shortage amount of men that is looking to privatise a contentious woman.

Men will take her out of course, stir her emotions and make her feel really good, but after sex, they will withdraw, and she will repeat same Process until it dawns on her that marriage was her security.

That delusional bubble she lives in must be bursted, or else she won't calm down.

Also, you choose wrongly, and it's your fault. But that's a discussion I won't dive in now. But for a man to suffer all those stuff you wrote in his marriage simply shows he needs to work on himself.

Valoromega:
I've been married for a while now and I have a daughter.

My wife and I has always had issues, anytime issues arise her first reaction is to leave the marriage.

She has said this several time and u cautioned her about the statement because I don't like it ( she's making it seem she's doing me a favor by marrying me)

So last week we got into an issue because of my younger sister who I gave money to for her store rent, my wife found out about it and was very angry, she said that I gave my sister money without informing her and that she needed Money I refused to give her ( I gave her 150k Dat same day to change her Clothes).
She also accused me of cheating which was not true, she said she very young and fresh and she can go outside anytime.

She had once told me that she had cheated on her boyfriend with another guy once when she was in school because the boyfriend was misbehaving.

So I thought about everything and the fact that she continuously accuses me of being a bad husband, and abusive husband ( I've never hit her before) and that she was tired of the marriage.

So I'm thinking of calling her father and collecting the bride price I paid for her because I'm tired of the whole thing

Know when to go completely quiet when she's ranting. Ignore her completely.

Y'all married folks make marriage stressful.


Ain't never read a married nigga who got his sheet together. If it's not somthing, it's another something.

Y'all married folks need to get y'all sheet together.

Make your marriage work. Ain't nobody force you to get married. You wanted to get married. Make it work 🤷... Stay married.