₦airaland Forum

I have this aunt who I recently started living with the family at Aba as a result of some life situations.
Mind you, I’m an 18 years old boy.

It’s months now and all I do basically is the domestic chores and cooking most times.

My aunt isn’t making any effort to fix me up somewhere. A few job opportunities I managed to secure for myself where discouraged by her.

I barely have time to go out on job hunting due to the heavy workload she gives me on daily basis and when I object, it becomes a big problem.

I have repeatedly shared with her my concern to go back to school and possibly move into my own apartment, and these can’t really work out if I don’t have any tangible source of livelihood. Yet she sees no sense in what I say.

My 19th birthday is fast approaching, and I don’t have anything to hold unto.

Seriously, I am fed up with this life pattern, and I do wish to take the bull by the horn this time.

Please note, she doesn’t starve me, nor abusive me physically.

However, the manners in which she talks and treats me most times make me feel like a stranger who isn’t welcome anymore. That attitude of her is really messing with my psychological wellbeing and I can’t deal with it anymore.

Frankly, if I have my way, I would have left her house long time ago.
But as it is now, I have nowhere or anyone who is comfortable enough to accept me into his/her home at the moment.

I am tirelessly seeking for jobs that offer accommodation within and outside Aba but none is forth coming.

What should I do at this juncture?

If it was easy, your parents would be the ones carrying your responsibilities.
It is not her job to send you to the university.
She has done more than enough already by housing, feeding you. You doing chores in the house is a good way to reciprocate the gesture.

I really think you should go get a job and stick to it for a year for a start, that's when you will appreciate her.

Be grateful

PrinceSammy02:
I have this aunt who I recently started living with the family at Aba as a result of some life situations.
Mind you, I’m an 18 years old boy.

It’s months now and all I do basically is the domestic chores and cooking most times.

My aunt isn’t making any effort to fix me up somewhere. A few job opportunities I managed to secure for myself where discouraged by her.

I barely have time to go out on job hunting due to the heavy workload she gives me on daily basis and when I object, it becomes a big problem.

I have repeatedly shared with her my concern to go back to school and possibly move into my own apartment, and these can’t really work out if I don’t have any tangible source of livelihood. Yet she sees no sense in what I say.

My 19th birthday is fast approaching, and I don’t have anything to hold unto.

Seriously, I am fed up with this life pattern, and I do wish to take the bull by the horn this time.

Please note, she doesn’t starve me, nor abusive me physically.

However, the manners in which she talks and treats me most times make me feel like a stranger who isn’t welcome anymore. That attitude of her is really messing with my psychological wellbeing and I can’t deal with it anymore.

Frankly, if I have my way, I would have left her house long time ago.
But as it is now, I have nowhere or anyone who is comfortable enough to accept me into his/her home at the moment.

I am tirelessly seeking for jobs that offer accommodation within and outside Aba but none is forth coming.

What should I do at this juncture?

Weigh your options. If staying with her a little while will help you , please stay. If you jump into the unknown without any compass to navigate the complex and unpredictable world, you may live the rest of your life in regret.

Ask your auntie what she really has for you or discuss your aspiration or ask your mummy or daddy to do so if you cannot.
If your auntie is not married or having issues with her marriage, she may be confused herself and be emotionally disturbed..


I wish the best in life.

yomi007k:
If it was easy, your parents would be the ones carrying your responsibilities.
It is not her job to send you to the university.
She has done more than enough already by housing, feeding you. You doing chores in the house is a good way to reciprocate the gesture.

I really think you should go get a job and stick to it for a year for a start, that's when you will appreciate her.

Be grateful

God bless you sir. U Dnt ve anyone else to run to for help n somehow is helping you, u r now complaining n feeling entitled. U r young n strong, no house chores will b difficult for u. Obey her cheerfully with gratitude n u will c how new doors will open for you

Uche559:
God bless you sir. U Dnt ve anyone else to run to for help n somehow is helping you, u r now complaining n feeling entitled. U r young n strong, no house chores will b difficult for u. Obey her cheerfully with gratitude n u will c how new doors will open for you

Smiles... I doubt if you did comprehend the story before commenting. Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

yomi007k:
If it was easy, your parents would be the ones carrying your responsibilities.
It is not her job to send you to the university.
She has done more than enough already by housing, feeding you. You doing chores in the house is a good way to reciprocate the gesture.

I really think you should go get a job and stick to it for a year for a start, that's when you will appreciate her.

Be grateful

Hi Yomi, I appreciate your opinion.

However, I do wish to correct some impression for the benefit of those here.

Firstly, It is my parents responsibility as you rightly said, but life happened and my parents aren't present in my life anymore. So it is actually far from the perspective you came from.

Secondly, I never stated it is her duty to send me to the university. Me going back to school serves as a concrete reason why I really need a job.

Thirdly, I never complained negatively about doing chores. I only complained that she doesn't give me time to go on job hunting or do anything that will benefit me, and whenever I speak to her about it we end up having disputes.

Finally, I was never idle. I once had a job. It's just that the company folded, and life happened to me. I'm trying to find my feet - hence the reason why I am here.

Calm down, respect them, cooperate with them, appreciate them for what they are doing for you.

Go out to get a job that doesn't offer accomodation as long as the salary is manageable. Also make sure it is not far from where you are staying so that you don't have to spend on transport except occasionally.

While doing the work, continue to remain resourceful and helpful to them at home. Wake up early in the morning and do the basic house chores you can do before going to work. On coming back, also help do anything you can if need be.

Start saving as mush as you can while at it. After about two years, rent a good and affordable single room accommodation close to your work. Inform them, thank them and move on with your life.

Remain focus, look for a better work if you can, save more, have a legit side hustle if you can and keep saving for your school. While at it, you can use your weekends to learn a good hands-on skill.

PrinceSammy02:
Hi Yomi, I appreciate your opinion.

However, I do wish to correct some impression for the benefit of those here.

Firstly, It is my parents responsibility as you rightly said, but life happened and my parents aren't present in my life anymore. So it is actually far from the perspective you came from.

Secondly, I never stated it is her duty to send me to the university. Me going back to school serves as a concrete reason why I really need a job.

Thirdly, I never complained negatively about doing chores. I only complained that she doesn't give me time to go on job hunting or do anything that will benefit me, and whenever I speak to her about it we end up having disputes.

Finally, I was never idle. I once had a job. It's just that the company folded, and life happened to me. I'm trying to find my feet - hence the reason why I am here.

Let me be honest with you bro.

Nobody will house and feed anybody anymore in this 2024 unless you have potential of giving them something back in return-even parents do so not just because it's their responsibility but becos they hope that the child will reciprocate such act when they grow successful.

My point is that you should let your aunt benefit from you too. If you get a job and you are still under her roof , you still have to give things back in return or else don't be surprised if she kicks you out.

You don't know her own burden but I know everyone has their own baggage.

Peace.

.

PrinceSammy02:
I have this aunt who I recently started living with the family at Aba as a result of some life situations.
Mind you, I’m an 18 years old boy...

What should I do at this juncture?

Thanks for sharing your experience

What device did you use in typing this?

You can start with that.

What skills do you have that someone can pay you for? How can you make the time you spend on that device more profitable?

Ask yourself questions like these to help you discover more of what you can do

And yes, you can view your aunt's treatment as training because out there in the real world, there are people with probably WORSE manners

So be grateful.

Keep your head up

Thanks again

if you typed this it means you intellectually sound, your phone is a tool already seek ways to use your phone to make money

Dear poster, you do not sound like a teenager to me .. you are more than the age you stated here .. thanks

malaria:
Dear poster, you do not sound like a teenager to me .. you are more than the age you stated here .. thanks

or he is using AI

Anyway, he's free like a bird to deny it.

* You have no money or mean of getting an accommodation or feed yourself.

* You have no one who can accommodate or feed you at the moment.

Is that not enough to appreciate your sister for saving you of impending hunger and homelessness?

See boy, life don't work as you think, you practically have no option or decision of yours until you have resources that would made you not to depend on anyone.

Since your sister is not abusing or starving you, the best option for you is to keep reminding her of your desire to find something doing. Basically, every Nigerian big sister/brother will treat you the same because they feel you are still young at 18 to be left alone doing your things off their monitoring.

Decision is your to make, you can decide to leave her house and see what the street has to offer or be patient with her until she listen to you.

Villa12:
or he is using AI

Anyway, he's free like a bird to deny it.

Could be someones story he copied to paste here ..Even if he is using Ai , Ai is too stereotyped . He is sounding like a full fledged matured adult. As such he does not need advice.

PrinceSammy02:
Hi Yomi, I appreciate your opinion.

However, I do wish to correct some impression for the benefit of those here.

Firstly, It is my parents responsibility as you rightly said, but life happened and my parents aren't present in my life anymore. So it is actually far from the perspective you came from.

Secondly, I never stated it is her duty to send me to the university. Me going back to school serves as a concrete reason why I really need a job.

Thirdly, I never complained negatively about doing chores. I only complained that she doesn't give me time to go on job hunting or do anything that will benefit me, and whenever I speak to her about it we end up having disputes.

Finally, I was never idle. I once had a job. It's just that the company folded, and life happened to me. I'm trying to find my feet - hence the reason why I am here.

My dear, don't mind those agbayas. They lack the capacity to comprehend simple English compositions.

I strongly commend you for striving to take care of your future. Your aunty is not abusive for now yes, but don't allow her waste your life and your time aimlessly for nothing. She can't be having you in her house as her house boy without any concrete plan for your future. Her making issues out of it anytime you try to discuss it with her is a bad sign that she wants you to remain her house boy and abandon your future. She doesn't have any plans for your future. I have been in your situation except for the facts that mine was worst with endless abuse in ALL ramifications.

You are a man. I advice you to play along and quietly find a good paying job that can at least feed you and enable you raise money for your accomodations. Then tell her you have found a job and quietly leave her house. But be careful bcs some of them will at that stage want to set you up or lock you up with police just to frustrate your life. I am talking out of experience. The fact that they are family doesn't mean they mean well for you.
When you move out, please focus on improving your life and get education as you are planning. DON'T BE DISTRACTED.

Lawly:
My dear, don't mind those agbayas. They lack the capacity to comprehend simple English compositions.

I strongly commend you for striving to take care of your future. Your aunty is not abusive for now yes, but don't allow her waste your life and your time aimlessly for nothing. She can't be having you in her house as her house boy without any concrete plan for your future. Her making issues out of it anytime you try to discuss it with her is a bad sign that she wants you to remain her house boy and abandon your future. She doesn't have any plans for your future. I have been in your situation except for the facts that mine was worst with endless abuse in ALL ramifications.

You are a man. I advice you to play along and quietly find a good paying job that can at least feed you and enable you raise money for your accomodations. Then tell her you have found a job and quietly leave her house. But be careful bcs some of them will at that stage want to set you up or lock you up with police just to frustrate your life. I am talking out of experience. The fact that they are family doesn't mean they mean well for you.
When you move out, please focus on improving your life and get education as you are planning. DON'T BE DISTRACTED.

Finally, a comment from someone who truly understand my story and concern.

Thank you very much Lawly, for this nugget of advice.

Frankly, this is a pill of relieve to my baggage of anxiety.

A million dollar thanks to you!

PrinceSammy02:
➜I have this aunt who I recently started living with the family at Aba as a result of some life situations. Mind you, I’m an 18 years old boy. It’s months now and all I do basically is the domestic chores and cooking most times. My aunt isn’t making any effort to fix me up somewhere. A few job opportunities I managed to secure for myself where discouraged by her. I barely have time to go out on job hunting due to the heavy workload she gives me on daily basis and when I object, it becomes a big problem. I have repeatedly shared with her my concern to go back to school and possibly move into my own apartment, and these can’t really work out if I don’t have any tangible source of livelihood. Yet she sees no sense in what I say.
➜My 19th birthday is fast approaching, and I don’t have anything to hold unto. Seriously, I am fed up with this life pattern, and I do wish to take the bull by the horn this time. Please note, she doesn’t starve me, nor abusive me physically. However, the manners in which she talks and treats me most times make me feel like a stranger who isn’t welcome anymore. That attitude of her is really messing with my psychological wellbeing and I can’t deal with it anymore. Frankly, if I have my way, I would have left her house long time ago. But as it is now, I have nowhere or anyone who is comfortable enough to accept me into his/her home at the moment. I am tirelessly seeking for jobs that offer accommodation within and outside Aba but none is forth coming. What should I do at this juncture?

1. Where are your parents in all of this and what have they advised you to do, assuming you have informed them of your plan and of how your aunt discourages you from pursuing the few opportunities you say you have found?

2. Help us with more information.
➜What are the reasons your aunt has given you so far? Why does she prefer to sit back and wait rather than act now for yourself? You didn't tell us any of this.
➜ Does your aunt know and understand you wish to head back to school and are looking to work to pay the fees yourself?
➜ You need to sit down and talk eye to eye with your aunt so she comes to see that you are at that age where sitting back doing nothing is not working for you. I don't know how old she is but she needs to come to an understanding of this and only you can make her see this.

Where are you parents?

malaria:
Dear poster, you do not sound like a teenager to me .. you are more than the age you stated here .. thanks

Apparently, his experience of life could have made him a man early enough.

@princesammy02,
Take your time and plan yourself well before leaving that house. Endure what you are going through however, keep praying and plan your next move. Be grateful however, don't be too comfortable in your current state.

GboyegaD:
Apparently, his experience of life could have made him a man early enough.

@princesammy02,
Take your time and plan yourself well before leaving that house. Endure what you are going through however, keep praying and plan your next move. Be grateful however, don't be too comfortable in your current state.

I am not even arguing with you on this.

PrinceSammy02:
I have this aunt who I recently started living with the family at Aba as a result of some life situations.
Mind you, I’m an 18 years old boy.

It’s months now and all I do basically is the domestic chores and cooking most times.

My aunt isn’t making any effort to fix me up somewhere. A few job opportunities I managed to secure for myself where discouraged by her.

I barely have time to go out on job hunting due to the heavy workload she gives me on daily basis and when I object, it becomes a big problem.

I have repeatedly shared with her my concern to go back to school and possibly move into my own apartment, and these can’t really work out if I don’t have any tangible source of livelihood. Yet she sees no sense in what I say.

My 19th birthday is fast approaching, and I don’t have anything to hold unto.

Seriously, I am fed up with this life pattern, and I do wish to take the bull by the horn this time.

Please note, she doesn’t starve me, nor abusive me physically.

However, the manners in which she talks and treats me most times make me feel like a stranger who isn’t welcome anymore. That attitude of her is really messing with my psychological wellbeing and I can’t deal with it anymore.

Frankly, if I have my way, I would have left her house long time ago.
But as it is now, I have nowhere or anyone who is comfortable enough to accept me into his/her home at the moment.

I am tirelessly seeking for jobs that offer accommodation within and outside Aba but none is forth coming.

What should I do at this juncture?

The only place you will have freedom is in your parents house not in some one house

PrinceSammy02:
Finally, a comment from someone who truly understand my story and concern.

Thank you very much Lawly, for this nugget of advice.

Frankly, this is a pill of relieve to my baggage of anxiety.

A million dollar thanks to you!

You are very much welcome my dear

PrinceSammy02:
I have this aunt who I recently started living with the family at Aba as a result of some life situations.
Mind you, I’m an 18 years old boy.

It’s months now and all I do basically is the domestic chores and cooking most times.

My aunt isn’t making any effort to fix me up somewhere. A few job opportunities I managed to secure for myself where discouraged by her.

I barely have time to go out on job hunting due to the heavy workload she gives me on daily basis and when I object, it becomes a big problem.

I have repeatedly shared with her my concern to go back to school and possibly move into my own apartment, and these can’t really work out if I don’t have any tangible source of livelihood. Yet she sees no sense in what I say.

My 19th birthday is fast approaching, and I don’t have anything to hold unto.

Seriously, I am fed up with this life pattern, and I do wish to take the bull by the horn this time.

Please note, she doesn’t starve me, nor abusive me physically.

However, the manners in which she talks and treats me most times make me feel like a stranger who isn’t welcome anymore. That attitude of her is really messing with my psychological wellbeing and I can’t deal with it anymore.

Frankly, if I have my way, I would have left her house long time ago.
But as it is now, I have nowhere or anyone who is comfortable enough to accept me into his/her home at the moment.

I am tirelessly seeking for jobs that offer accommodation within and outside Aba but none is forth coming.

What should I do at this juncture?

You are even lucky your Aunt is sheltering and feeding you...

Men are bloody ingrates... Enter street nau and fend for yourself body will tell you..

Reach me on the contact below ican connect you with someone who can help as far you said you are hardworking
08137.6448.90

Carndidlaydid:
You are even lucky your Aunt is sheltering and feeding you...

Men are bloody ingrates... Enter street nau and fend for yourself body will tell you..

Reach me on the contact below ican connect you with someone who can help as far you said you are hardworking
08137.6448.90

Your blood dey hot.