₦airaland Forum

immortalcrown:
If you are not toxic, tell me why you responded to my main comment in the manner you did.

your comment maybe wrong. Tell op to keep harbouring that boy in their house is wrong. Even a biological child that can empty his/her parents account should be made to face the law. A child rejected by his own biological mother but accepted by a family member then the only way to repay them back is through robbery. That boy can invite armed robbery to the house if that man has large money in cash. A child whose friends are school dropout and yahoo boys. The father, op and the family as a whole are more than nice to have harbour him under their roof till now. If you don't mind, you can send op father the money he stole and provide therapy/counselling for the boy. Maybe he might turn a new leaf. Telling op not to let go of him is wrong.

Kobojunkie:
If this boy had been your flesh and blood, what would you have suggested your father do in that case?

I will make him face the law if he was my child. But what op father wish to do isn't bad, considering the boy isn't his biological child and if he should allow him face the law some people might be saying if he was his biological child he wouldn't do that. At least sending him away is quite justifiable.

NigeriaIsGreat:
➜I will make him face the law if he was my child. But what op father wish to do isn't bad, considering the boy isn't his biological child and if he should allow him face the law some people might be saying if he was his biological child he wouldn't do that. At least sending him away is quite justifiable.

If you would make your own child face the law then the reasonable thing to do would be to make this boy equally face the same. It shouldn't matter what people thing as that did not or should not have mattered when you were busy raising and feeding him for all those years... assuming you treated him exactly as you did your own children.

Kobojunkie:
That is a stewpid idea that could very quickly backfire! For one, your father has no legal right to beat or ban him from any environment unless a place he owns. Second, this might enrage the boy in the future and may end badly for your family.

Also, It baffles me to think that a man who supposedly raised the child would be so willing to throw him away in such a manner.

2. Sent away through the police? How? You are supposed to get him arrested, charged, and possibly jailed for crimes committed. He is 20. What are you lot dragging your feet on that for?

saying the father has no right to beat the boy is wrong. This is Nigeria not western world. An average Nigerian child receives beating one way or the other and some of us turns out well. From op illustration that boy has been stealing from onset of his life and they do discipline him. Don't you think if he had not been constantly disciplined he'd have become a notorious criminal/armed robber?

Btw, his movements can be restricted through court order, arrest and detention, bail conditions et al. Op father knows he can't restrict his movements from his own end, the need he has to get him arrested.

Kobojunkie:
If you would make your own child face the law then the reasonable thing to do would be to make this boy equally face the same. It shouldn't matter what people thing as that did not or should not have mattered when you were busy raising and feeding him for all those years... assuming you treated him exactly as you did your own children.

you don't know more than op mother begging her husband not to allow him face the law. If i was a member of op family, I'd also suggest he should be sent away than making him face the law. Owning by his antecedent, he'd definitely do something outside that'd warrant him getting arrested and face the law, unless he willingly chose to make a U-turn to crime.

NigeriaIsGreat:
➜saying the father has no right to beat the boy is wrong. This is Nigeria not western world. An average Nigerian child receives beating one way or the other and some of us turns out well.
➜From op illustration that boy has been stealing from onset of his life and they do discipline him. Don't you think if he had not been constantly disciplined he'd have become a notorious criminal/armed robber?
➜Btw, his movements can be restricted through court order, arrest and detention, bail conditions et al. Op father knows he can't restrict his movements from his own end, the need he has to get him arrested.

1. Even in Nigeria, every child is considered a citizen of the country and it is a criminal offense to physically abuse another citizen.

People are not programmed machines and we should be able to predict these things.

2. That can only be done through the courts and not as described by the OP.

NigeriaIsGreat:
➜you don't know more than op mother begging her husband not to allow him face the law.
➜If i was a member of op family, I'd also suggest he should be sent away than making him face the law. Owning by his antecedent, he'd definitely do something outside that'd warrant him getting arrested and face the law, unless he willingly chose to make a U-turn to crime.

I don't need to know more than his mother to know that the Law should be allowed to handle this issue at this point in time.

2. They have failed to contain the problem up until before this point by hiding him away from the Law. It is time they accept their failures and hand him over to the Law. We are talking of an adult who connived with other Yahoo boys to steal money from his victim's account. How much more criminal do they need this to get? He can also make this wonderful u-turn away from crime during/after he has served his sentence for the one he has already committed.

Kobojunkie:
1. Even in Nigeria, every child is considered a citizen of the country and it is a criminal offense to physically abuse another citizen.

People are not machines. You can only do the best you can while you can. After that, you let the law do its job.

2. That can only be done through the courts and not as described by the OP.

like i said earlier, most child in Nigeria got spanked one way or the other and no one has been arrested.

NigeriaIsGreat:
➜like i said earlier, most child in Nigeria got spanked one way or the other and no one has been arrested.

I refuse to support abuse even in the Nigerian case.

Blood...when the foundation is s faulty, this are the kinds of results you get

Kobojunkie:
I don't need to know more than his mother to know that the Law should be allowed to handle this issue at this point in time.

2. They have failed to contain the problem up until before this point by hiding him away from the Law. It is time they accept their failures and hand him over to the Law. We are talking of an adult who connived with other Yahoo boys to steal money from his victim's account. How much more criminal do they need this to get? He can also make this wonderful u-turn away from crime during/after he has served his sentence for the one he has already committed.

Yes, it is a criminal offence no doubt and on a norms should be made to face the law. Sending him away doesn't mean he won't later face the law. He'd definitely face the law through another crime He'd commit. I was
even surprised @Immortalcrown could say op family should still harbour the boy under their roof despite reading op story. Now i understand why some people don't like bringing their matter to public.

NigeriaIsGreat:
➜Yes, it is a criminal offence no doubt and on a norms should be made to face the law. Sending him away doesn't mean he won't later face the law. He'd definitely face the law through another crime He'd commit.
➜I was even surprised @... could say op family should still harbour the boy under their roof despite reading op story. Now i understand why some people don't like bringing their matter to public.

Through another crime because you are 100% sure that the next set of victims will not resort to sending him away again rather than getting the law involved? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

You do realize that one of the major reasons why in Nigeria, criminals roam free and wide without is this which you described here... kicking the bucket down the road for someone else to handle? The boy now man should legally serve the penalty for every single time he commits a crime starting with this one.

2. As long as he has faced the legal consequence of his crime and has repented of his actions, I see no reason why they should not allow him back into their home. After all, they raised him from when he was born.

NigeriaIsGreat:
your comment maybe wrong. Tell op to keep harbouring that boy in their house is wrong. Even a biological child that can empty his/her parents account should be made to face the law. A child rejected by his own biological mother but accepted by a family member then the only way to repay them back is through robbery. That boy can invite armed robbery to the house if that man has large money in cash. A child whose friends are school dropout and yahoo boys. The father, op and the family as a whole are more than nice to have harbour him under their roof till now. If you don't mind, you can send op father the money he stole and provide therapy/counselling for the boy. Maybe he might turn a new leaf. Telling op not to let go of him is wrong.

You are toxic indeed. That's why you are attacking my comment.

I never said the boy's action should be overlooked. I said he should be disciplined.

You are attacking me because I said he should not be disconnected from the family. To prove that you are stupid:
1.
Does chasing him out of the family guarantee that he will change for good?

2.
Must an offender or a criminal be disconnected from his or her family before he or she can be punished?

NigeriaIsGreat:
Yes, it is a criminal offence no doubt and on a norms should be made to face the law. Sending him away doesn't mean he won't later face the law. He'd definitely face the law through another crime He'd commit. I was
even surprised @Immortalcrown could say op family should still harbour the boy under their roof despite reading op story. Now i understand why some people don't like bringing their matter to public.

You are attacking me because I said he should not be disconnected from the family. To prove that you are illogical:
1.
Does chasing him out of the family guarantee that he will change for good?

2.
Must an offender or a criminal be disconnected from his or her family before he or she can be punished?

immortalcrown:
You are toxic indeed. That's why you are attacking my comment.

I never said the boy's action should be overlooked. I said he should be disciplined.

You are attacking me because I said he should not be disconnected from the family. To prove that you are stupid:
1.
Does chasing him out of the family guarantee that he will change for good?

2.
Must an offender or a criminal be disconnected from his or her family before he or she can be punished?

read your comment and mine to confirm who's toxic between you and i

Mr Toxic

NigeriaIsGreat:
read your comment and mine to confirm who's toxic between you and i Mr Toxic

You are obviously the toxic one here.

Kobojunkie:
You have a person who has been stealing for a while. Rather than tackle that problem head-on, you suggest the family should send him far away to someone else so he will be that person's problem. And when you mentioned that he would be disciplined there by that person I guess that you expect that if he were to steal there that one you send him to would likely torture him for it while you can live your life blissfully ignorant of the details of it, abi? Why are you religious folks so without a conscience?

you are just careless to see that you aren't seeing that I carefully selected the solution that takes care of the issue of stealing before he becomes an armed robjer

Kobojunkie:
You have a person who has been stealing for a while. Rather than tackle that problem head-on, you suggest the family should send him far away to someone else so he will be that person's problem. And when you mentioned that he would be disciplined there by that person I guess that you expect that if he were to steal there that one you send him to would likely torture him for it while you can live your life blissfully ignorant of the details of it, abi? Why are you religious folks so without a conscience?

you are just careless to see that you aren't seeing that I carefully selected the solution that takes care of the issue of stealing before he becomes an armed robber

Villa12:
the mother doesn't live around us. She lives far from us. She only communicate it with the boy on phone.

that is good then, but the best thing to do is to transfer his responsibility to another person and like I said a pastor or a trader that can train him in apprenticeship

Ynix:
➜ you are just careless to see that you aren't seeing that I carefully selected the solution that takes care of the issue of stealing before he becomes an armed robber

Your postulation does none of what you claim. For one, out there in the very same Nigeria you live in today, many boys/kids have turned armed robbers and have as their backers the very same so-called disciplined Pastors, traders, or Imams their parents abandoned them in the hands of. Up North, many of the same Imams' Muslim parents abandon their children to use them as political touts for politicians and their cause. So, how can continuing the same tradition be construed as a solution for Pete's sake?

Kobojunkie:
Your postulation does none of what you claim. For one, out there in the very same Nigeria you live in today, many boys/kids have turned armed robbers and have as their backers the very same so-called disciplined Pastors and Imams their parents abandoned them in the hands of. So, how can continuing the same tradition be construed as a solution for Pete's sake?

this postulation is the best as long someone with a reputation of turning things around is reached out to not the trial and error

Ynix:
➜ this postulation is the best as long someone with a reputation of turning things around is reached out to not the trial and error

Please stop right there. You are telling OP to leave it all up to chance, and then you conveniently concluded that would be best. For real?

Kobojunkie:
Please stop right there. You are leaving his fate up to chance and telling us that it is the best? For real?

not to chance but to a system that will provide therapeutic experiences for the boy

Ynix:
not to chance but to a system that will provide therapeutic experiences for the boy

The same system that is notorious for harvesting and turning our youths to crime? Would you also leave your own flesh and blood to such a system?

Kobojunkie:
The same system that is notorious for harvesting and turning our youths to crime? Would you also leave your own flesh and blood to such a system?

you must have been around the wrong ones then, the ones I know have turned around lives

Ynix:
➜ you must have been around the wrong ones then, the ones I know have turned around lives

A good many of the kidnappers, robbers, scammers, political touts/agberos, prostitutes, etc, that are a menace in today's Nigeria came from and are currently backed by the system which you speak of. These are facts that have been revealed by even your Nigerian police. I do not need to have been around the wrong ones to know of this.

Ynix:
that is good then, but the best thing to do is to transfer his responsibility to another person and like I said a pastor or a trader that can train him in apprenticeship

who have time for all that? The family owe him absolutely nothing henceforth and he ceased to be part of the family the very day he plans with a total stranger to rob his adopted father's money.

immortalcrown:
You are obviously the toxic one here.

in your village anyone that disagree to your view is toxic? who uses foul language here calling someone stupid?
If you ever had the opportunity to see the four walls of classroom you'd know from op story that your opinion isn't an option to the family and the family doesn't care any longer to change him. The family has done everything possible to make him change since the beginning of his life but he refused. He's an adult and has chosen his path.The father is considering the boy to face the law while the mother is begging to just let him go out of their lives. That family is poor and the boy still have the mind to perpetrate such wicked act. No sane person will allow that boy to continue living under their roof. If you care so much, reach out to op and pay the money he stole then provide an alternative where he could live with adequate provisions.

If e easy to raise someone's child from cradle to adulthood, you sef run am.

Kobojunkie:
Many out there steal from their parents as well. So, don't pretend your blood is exempt.

Please answer the question! If this boy had been your flesh and blood, what would you have suggested your father do in that case?

does that mean every blood in each family steal from their parents like this boy did? Did you and your siblings stole from your parents?

NigeriaIsGreat:
in your village anyone that disagree to your view is toxic? who uses foul language here calling someone stupid?
If you ever had the opportunity to see the four walls of classroom you'd know from op story that your opinion isn't an option to the family and the family doesn't care any longer to change him. The family has done everything possible to make him change since the beginning of his life but he refused. He's an adult and has chosen his path.The father is considering the boy to face the law while the mother is begging to just let him go out of their lives. That family is poor and the boy still have the mind to perpetrate such wicked act. No sane person will allow that boy to continue living under their roof. If you care so much, reach out to op and pay the money he stole then provide an alternative where he could live with adequate provisions.

If e easy to raise someone's child from cradle to adulthood, you sef run am.

You are just barking like a mad dog. I never said that the family has done wrong by raising the boy. I never said that what the boy did is right. I said he should be disciplined. But you are displaying your madness because I don't support the idea of disconnecting him from the family.

1.
Will chasing the boy out of the family guarantee that the boy will change for good?

2.
Is it impossible to discipline the boy if he is not disconnected from the family?

Answer these questions. Until you answer these questions, you are just ranting like a mad dog.

Villa12:
does that mean every blood in each family steal from their parents like this boy did? Did you and your siblings stole from your parents?

Notice how you refuse to answer the question. Yet you brought this issue here asking for advice on how it should best be dealt with. 🤔

immortalcrown:
You are attacking me because I said he should not be disconnected from the family. To prove that you are illogical:
1.
Does chasing him out of the family guarantee that he will change for good?

2.
Must an offender or a criminal be disconnected from his or her family before he or she can be punished?

please don't derail my thread with derogatory words i beg of you. Facing the law or sending him away to his mother is what we have on the table. He can no longer live with us again. Thank you.