₦airaland Forum

It's festive season 🌲, and we all know it's a season of love and sharing 🎁.
This season is when we chill out and make our love felt by our Love ones or people who may some way or another have an impact in our lives,after the year's labour and toil.
Bosses give out gifts, employers give out bonuses, lovers
take each other out on spending spree's ,even mummy's and daddy's are not left behind in this gesture, as they always have something up their sleeves for their kids this time of year.
.
.
With all the buzz and jingle's in the air, I decided to be part of it this year as began given out little packaged presents🎁 every now and then, to those I think deserved them.
.
.
But, here's the gist.
I have this POS attendant how i normally give my cash to, to use in for business, by which at the of the day she forwards it to my account. Any business person in the house can relate to this.
The reason I took a personal interest in her was because, since I started handing her my cash I have never had any qualms with her.
She had sometimes jokingly asked me for handouts, and I most times playfully declined.

Naturally she quite falls under my rader, of recipients for my little "Christmas give away" package.
So when the time came last week, i had my present for her . I went to her small make shift shop just across my business place with some cash as usual, and the present I intended giving her.
I somehow noticed she was kinda looking more serious today.
First things first, I handed her the cash, but unlike before , after counting she usually says "thank you sir, I will send it later",
This time she said, "your charge is #500 naira " , with a straight face.
I was shocked to say the least, like she can't be serious.
With the cash scarcity and all , I now a couple of POS attendants who will literally give up an arm for the kind of cash💵 supply I give her.
Mind you, this are no small amounts of money.
.
Woah!! I smiled, returned, gave her, her #500 naira charge, and as you all already guessed, I left with the present 🎁 I had for her as well.
She was oblivious of of it any way, but deep down I was kind of disappointed 😌😌😞.

.
This begs the question,?🤔
Have you ever withheld a gift or a good deed you already had for someone?🤷

Ever had such experience?
Pls Share with the family.

I have never do this before and I don't think I will ever .
Once I made up my mind to present a gift to someone, I do .
Let me use what you wrote above as a case study , she's not in a good mood when yo went there , asking her out will not do anything but only ease what she's going through, you see for you to even think of giving her a gift , I must say you like her ( i am not saying love here ) so , you ought not to look at the shortcoming .. presenting her the gift will even make her to say sorry of what she did and henceforth you've earn respect from her .. the 500 naira is nothing..

Couple of times.

After getting it, felt the gift was too small.

ItisWell22:
Couple of times.

After getting it, felt the gift was too small.

Could have still increase the measure.
Last time I checked gifts are from the heart ❤️ and not from pockets.

ItisWell22:
Couple of times.

After getting it, felt the gift was too small.

(make I pull your leg small.)
Hope no be singlet and boxers m😅

More the reason why everyone outside Nigeria is accusing us of many things which includes main character syndrome shiid….and THOUGHTLESSNESS!!!


There’s something called bad mood,,it’s not only limited to the rich or well to do(as in your case,,you’re obviously more well to do compared to the girl!).

You simply should have calmed the situation down by being more empathetic!,,,
get to know what went wrong!,
Your intended gift would’ve gone a very long way!,

Human nature has it that no matter how cool ,calm and calculated a person is,,he/she deff gon’ do battles mentally sometimes which in turn makes them hostile towards others even against people way bigger than them like people in authority,landlords , chiefs etc(not always though).
So, If nature places you above peeps who’s got some respect for you,,,
do try and look out for them , especially in this very case.
Shalom!.

Yes I have . Infact gave it some else who least expected it

Bouncing2:
More the reason why everyone outside Nigeria is accusing us of many things which includes main character syndrome shiid….and THOUGHTLESSNESS!!!


There’s something called bad mood,,it’s not only limited to the rich or well to do(as in your case,,you’re obviously more well to do compared to the girl!).

You simply should have calmed the situation down by being more empathetic!,,,
get to know what went wrong!,
Your intended gift would’ve gone a very long way!,

Human nature has it that no matter how cool ,calm and calculated a person is,,he/she deff gon’ do battles mentally sometimes which in turn makes them hostile towards others even against people way bigger than them like people in authority,landlords , chiefs etc(not always though).
So, If nature places you above peeps who’s got some respect for you,,,
do try and look out for them , especially in this very case.
Shalom!.

trust me, it ain't gat nothing to with seeing ones self as the main character or stuff like that.
From my write up you can deduce I'm into business too but guess what, you can't catch me being out of pocket With my costumer's, even on my worst day.
Also bear in mind, that I'm introverted as fvck, lol infact, on a norms interacting with people drains my energy, but even at that whenever I'm on business, I always make sure I'm in my element.

codedgalaxy:
trust me, it ain't gat nothing to with seeing ones self as the main character or stuff like that.
From my write up you can deduce I'm into business too but guess what, you can't catch me being out of pocket With my costumer's, even on my worst day.
Also bear in mind, that I'm introverted as fvck, lol infact, on a norms interacting with people drains my energy, but even at that whenever I'm on business, I always make sure I'm in my element.

Introverted or not..
I think you should’ve handled that situation way better than you did .

Well,,nobody’s debating your ability to be in your element regardless of your mood,,you’re deff a man!.
But most women just can’t handle.

I’m not saying this from the usual POV of man and woman interactions /relationship ,,although it seems you like(d) her judging by the fact that you’ve always done your transactions with her and she’s always chipped in one or two cheeky requests,,which you must have approved not once ,not twice….

I’m coming from humanity view point ,you should’ve at least tried to know what went south.

Yes but it was cash gift. I went to a wedding to support one simp like that whom I thought should have waited to gain his feet before getting married but that's a story for another day. While dancing rigorously, shinning teeth like he goat and thanking people for coming, he jokingly added, what are you waiting for" to me. That line made me withheld the gift. Plot twist, his marriage lasted less than one year. The daughter of Eve he married brought another man's pregnancy with her and he found out.

Bouncing2:
Introverted or not..
I think you should’ve handled that situation way better than you did .

Well,,nobody’s debating your ability to be in your element regardless of your mood,,you’re deff a man!.
But most women just can’t handle.

I’m not saying this from the usual POV of man and woman interactions /relationship ,,although it seems you like(d) her judging by the fact that you’ve always done your transactions with her and she’s always chipped in one or two cheeky requests,,which you must have approved not once ,not twice….

I’m coming from humanity view point ,you should’ve at least tried to know what went south.

I know, but so far , I hate checking on people.
The last I tried they weaponised it, damn.
Dunno why but when people see you giving them your attention or having some sort of emphaty towards them , they try to weaponise it, or should I say monetize it. Damn.
They start feeling like, for the fact you give them some kind of semblance of attention they must be worth alot.damn!
.
Mahn, ever since I noticed that, I keep my attention to myself. And life has never been better.

Nonexisting1:
Yes but it was cash gift. I went to a wedding to support one simp like that whom I thought should have waited to gain his feet before getting married but that's a story for another day. While dancing rigorously, shinning teeth like he goat and thanking people for coming, he jokingly added, what are you waiting for" to me. That line made me withheld the gift. Plot twist, his marriage lasted less than one year. The daughter of Eve he married brought another man's pregnancy with her and he found out.

Lol, he goat, shinning teeth, mehn stop it .
You wan tear me with laughter.😅

Mumu talk

TossTos:
I have never do this before and I don't think I will ever .
Once I made up my mind to present a gift to someone, I do .
Let me use what you wrote above as a case study , she's not in a good mood when yo went there , asking her out will not do anything but only ease what she's going through, you see for you to even think of giving her a gift , I must say you like her ( i am not saying love here ) so , you ought not to look at the shortcoming .. presenting her the gift will even make her to say sorry of what she did and henceforth you've earn respect from her .. the 500 naira is nothing..

I've done that

It was a monetary gift for a bereaved woman, she lose her husband to snake bite trying to get fish for the family, the second day after the incident she was not at home as usual to welcome people, I saw her at a neighbours place gisting and laughing, I pocketed my envelope..

Efna55:
It was a monetary gift for a bereaved woman, she lose her husband to snake bite trying to get fish for the family, the second day after the incident she was not at home as usual to welcome people, I saw her at a neighbours place gisting and laughing, I pocketed my envelope..

how in the name of God did a woman who just lost her husband in a most bizarre way find the momentum to lold side talks and gists, was her husband that bad to her, like damn!
Quite appalling to hear.

codedgalaxy:
I know, but so far , I hate checking on people.
The last I tried they weaponised it, damn.
Dunno why but when people see you giving them your attention or having some sort of emphaty towards them , they try to weaponise it, or should I say monetize it. Damn.
They start feeling like, for the fact you give them some kind of semblance of attention they must be worth alot.damn!
.
Mahn, ever since I noticed that, I keep my attention to myself. And life has never been better.

You’re quite right..
But you should know when someone is down if you really claim to be empathetic..

Well, honestly i think you should’ve handled that situation differently….that’s that for that!.

😔😔

Efna55:
It was a monetary gift for a bereaved woman, she lose her husband to snake bite trying to get fish for the family, the second day after the incident she was not at home as usual to welcome people, I saw her at a neighbours place gisting and laughing, I pocketed my envelope..

codedgalaxy:
It's festive season 🌲, and we all know it's a season of love and sharing 🎁.
This season is when we chill out and make our love felt by our Love ones or people who may some way or another have an impact in our lives,after the year's labour and toil.
Bosses give out gifts, employers give out bonuses, lovers
take each other out on spending spree's ,even mummy's and daddy's are not left behind in this gesture, as they always have something up their sleeves for their kids this time of year.
.
.
With all the buzz and jingle's in the air, I decided to be part of it this year as began given out little packaged presents🎁 every now and then, to those I think deserved them.
.
.
But, here's the gist.
I have this POS attendant how i normally give my cash to, to use in for business, by which at the of the day she forwards it to my account. Any business person in the house can relate to this.
The reason I took a personal interest in her was because, since I started handing her my cash I have never had any qualms with her.
She had sometimes jokingly asked me for handouts, and I most times playfully declined.

Naturally she quite falls under my rader, of recipients for my little "Christmas give away" package.
So when the time came last week, i had my present for her . I went to her small make shift shop just across my business place with some cash as usual, and the present I intended giving her.
I somehow noticed she was kinda looking more serious today.
First things first, I handed her the cash, but unlike before , after counting she usually says "thank you sir, I will send it later",
This time she said, "your charge is #500 naira " , with a straight face.
I was shocked to say the least, like she can't be serious.
With the cash scarcity and all , I now a couple of POS attendants who will literally give up an arm for the kind of cash💵 supply I give her.
Mind you, this are no small amounts of money.
.
Woah!! I smiled, returned, gave her, her #500 naira charge, and as you all already guessed, I left with the present 🎁 I had for her as well.
She was oblivious of of it any way, but deep down I was kind of disappointed 😌😌😞.

.
This begs the question,?🤔
Have you ever withheld a gift or a good deed you already had for someone?🤷

I have done it several times and will still do it in future.


Back to your story, good as you withheld it temporary because of her action that day, but Xmas still ahead, you can check her action next time, if she did same thing, pls withhold your gifts.

Bouncing2:
More the reason why everyone outside Nigeria is accusing us of many things which includes main character syndrome shiid….and THOUGHTLESSNESS!!!


There’s something called bad mood,,it’s not only limited to the rich or well to do(as in your case,,you’re obviously more well to do compared to the girl!).

You simply should have calmed the situation down by being more empathetic!,,,
get to know what went wrong!,
Your intended gift would’ve gone a very long way!,

Human nature has it that no matter how cool ,calm and calculated a person is,,he/she deff gon’ do battles mentally sometimes which in turn makes them hostile towards others even against people way bigger than them like people in authority,landlords , chiefs etc(not always though).
So, If nature places you above peeps who’s got some respect for you,,,
do try and look out for them , especially in this very case.
Shalom!.

And u don't think if the guy handed the gift to the girl that day, it would send a wrong signal to her?...... maybe, thinking he is using gift to calm her down in other to get her attention.

I biliv you know how average Naija girls thinking. Nigeria girls that you will be assisting, not because of any romantic expectations, in which they would be calling you mumu at your back.

The best thing is how he withheld it temporarily, but he can give her latter, if she behaves rationally.

At OP, stop arguing with that guy trying so hard to guilt trip you. He's one of those men who make women misbehave the more. His type would always apologize/appeal a badly behaved woman; "are you angry, did I offend you, I'm sorry if I did, etc" and other n*nsense!!

A humble woman, realizing a negative shift in the relationship would reach out to you to apologize and/or explain her situation to you without you asking. But an over pampered/badly behaved woman would stay put/nonchalant, expecting you (as a simp) to come back and ask her the aforementioned, then she can gaslight or shift blame..

As for me, I have done what your post is about severally. And I even regret after gifting, before seeing the true character of the person. In fact, I might even have to arrest one today (Monday) over a loan I gave her since last month. She promised to pay back on/before november month end, yet, till this moment, nothing! Well, she promised again today evening...

codedgalaxy:
how in the name of God did a woman who just lost her husband in a most bizarre way find the momentum to lold side talks and gists, was her husband that bad to her, like damn!
Quite appalling to hear.

As in ehn, I have come to realize that, MOST women don't really love their men, some are still with their men because of the cultural views/beliefs on marriage, in the Nigerian society. But MOST men don't know this. You would think your woman truly loves you (just as Samson thought) until you both leave the shores of Africa to overseas. Have you heard about the many worrisome news of Nigerian homes shattering abroad? Well, no sheet...