₦airaland Forum

My father has 3 wives though one already left him but there is this silent hatred from the first wife children towards us the other wives children, they are older and more successful than the rest(we are just finding our feet). This hatred is also greatly directed at our father who they belittle and humiliate every chance they get. They also prefer to help extended family and friends than to help us even when it’s glaring we need help, they would never put you on opportunities that might help change life or bring food to our table but they are always quick to extend their helping hand to outsiders…….So I just feel maybe that’s their coping mechanism for their father having an extra woman with their mother as same thing is playing out in my friend family whose father has 2 wives. Does anyone in a polygamous home relate to this?

Lol polygamy shxt💔,.. I have learned from my grandpa and my pa, I'll do it differently I promise.

I no even the gbado men way dey marry more than one wife, Las Las e dey bring hatred, I know of a family, the second wife daughter is my dear friend, nah only the girl graduate for that family, she dey do well, before we go say Jack Robinson, she come dey misbehave, dey drink, and come dey get mental issues, Las Las her dad first wife later admit that nah she kill the girl.. Because she die... She kill her out of jealousy....

Some family are not like that sha

I have seen amiable ones in Ilorin even in remote Osun state...

It mostly depends on how the man run am

Curtis03360:
My father has 3 wives though one already left him but there is this silent hatred from the first wife children towards us the other wives children, they are older and more successful than the rest(we are just finding our feet). This hatred is also greatly directed at our father who they belittle and humiliate every chance they get. They also prefer to help extended family and friends than to help us even when it’s glaring we need help, they would never put you on opportunities that might help change life or bring food to our table but they are always quick to extend their helping hand to outsiders…….So I just feel maybe that’s their coping mechanism for their father having an extra woman with their mother as same thing is playing out in my friend family whose father has 2 wives. Does anyone in a polygamous home relate to this?

Your Lies are Shallow, abeg.
I came from a polygamous house, and I enjoyed the company of my step siblings.
I am even closer to them than my own mother, I am not disputing the constant barrier from Mother's.

Curtis03360:
My father has 3 wives though one already left him but there is this silent hatred from the first wife children towards us the other wives children, they are older and more successful than the rest(we are just finding our feet). This hatred is also greatly directed at our father who they belittle and humiliate every chance they get. They also prefer to help extended family and friends than to help us even when it’s glaring we need help, they would never put you on opportunities that might help change life or bring food to our table but they are always quick to extend their helping hand to outsiders…….So I just feel maybe that’s their coping mechanism for their father having an extra woman with their mother as same thing is playing out in my friend family whose father has 2 wives. Does anyone in a polygamous home relate to this?

bro that is how it is everywhere

Step siblings hardly love themselves, take it like that n move on

Curtis03360:
My father has 3 wives though one already left him but there is this silent hatred from the first wife children towards us the other wives children, they are older and more successful than the rest(we are just finding our feet). This hatred is also greatly directed at our father who they belittle and humiliate every chance they get. They also prefer to help extended family and friends than to help us even when it’s glaring we need help, they would never put you on opportunities that might help change life or bring food to our table but they are always quick to extend their helping hand to outsiders…….So I just feel maybe that’s their coping mechanism for their father having an extra woman with their mother as same thing is playing out in my friend family whose father has 2 wives. Does anyone in a polygamous home relate to this?

I thought you guys normally chant that polygamy is good

I hate the idea of marrying more than one wife

It's usually the mothers that instigate the hate and jealously among step siblings

Polygamy house, house of trouble

It happens mostly when the polygamous man is broke. Polygamy isn't for a broke man.

Curtis03360:
My father has 3 wives though one already left him but there is this silent hatred from the first wife children towards us the other wives children, they are older and more successful than the rest(we are just finding our feet). This hatred is also greatly directed at our father who they belittle and humiliate every chance they get. They also prefer to help extended family and friends than to help us even when it’s glaring we need help, they would never put you on opportunities that might help change life or bring food to our table but they are always quick to extend their helping hand to outsiders…….So I just feel maybe that’s their coping mechanism for their father having an extra woman with their mother as same thing is playing out in my friend family whose father has 2 wives. Does anyone in a polygamous home relate to this?

It's normal parole.....polygamy breeds hatred and jealousy.... the first wife always feels like the victim..feeling betrayed and cheated on by her husband and her space invaded by the new wife who she will always see as a snake along side her children, except for some naturally kind hearted women...

Anybody that has confidence to marry another woman's husband must have high level jazz or witchcraft or both..because no woman will be happy when it's done to her

Woman wey go enter as second wife,na she find problem

tanigororo:
Your Lies are Shallow, abeg.
I came from a polygamous house, and I enjoyed the company of my step siblings.
I am even closer to them than my own mother, I am not disputing the constant barrier from Mother's.

Why are you saying his talks are lies, are you part of his family?

Why would a man father children he can't take of polygamy is not the issue the man is

People glorify polygamy because it suits men but do you know why a lot of men in this new age wouldn't touch it?

It's not worth the stress. Even many Muslims are monogamous to the core.

teamv:
Why would a man father children he can't take of polygamy is not the issue the man is

Our father took care of us all equally and made sure everyone has a fair share of education and we never lack for food nor clothes while growing up……we eat together as a family, no mother cooks separately and my father tries his best to be fair in whatever he does both in meting out punishments or in sharing gifts. I dunno why the innate hatred, the first wife never show hatred even though it’s in her heart and her children always act like we all cool at family social gatherings and functions but deep down they don’t like those who are not their mother’s children and would gladly render assistance to outsiders than help give their father’s children a push in their endeavors

Karleb:
People glorify polygamy because it suits men but do you know why a lot of men in this new age wouldn't touch it?

It's not worth the stress. Even many Muslims are monogamous to the core.

It’s never worth the stress…. Sometimes just wish my mom had chosen a different path than marry into the family because it’s one hell of a family where your elder siblings would see you as a threat rather than family.

marlow1962:
Why are you saying his talks are lies, are you part of his family?

I have learnt not to glorify his types with a response

PerfectStranger:
It happens mostly when the polygamous man is broke. Polygamy isn't for a broke man.

He was wealthy when he dabbed into it, he recently went broke so I just feel his financial situation is a smoke screen and his children from his first marriage now see this as an opportunity to make him suffer and humiliate him. They will rather respect the men from their mother family than respect and support their father. That’s how bad he is having it from them

illicit:
Some family are not like that sha

I have seen amiable ones in Ilorin even in remote Osun state...

It mostly depends on how the man run am

Yeah I agree with this, it mostly depends on how the father ran it, some pops can be biased.... So this can cause some friction in the family, I don't even like polygamous home, I came from one and I don't think I want my children to share their father's love with another child that's not from me....

Lamanii22:
Yeah I agree with this, it mostly depends on how the father ran it, some pops can be biased.... So this can cause some friction in the family, I don't even like polygamous home, I came from one and I don't think I want my children to share their father's love with another child that's not from me....

Yeah
And the type of women he married too...

That's how it is in polygamous home, just move on and hustle for your own. With dedication you'd also get there.

marlow1962:
Why are you saying his talks are lies, are you part of his family?

There are ways stories are structured that you will know they are lies, ask any psychology

tanigororo:
Your Lies are Shallow, abeg.
I came from a polygamous house, and I enjoyed the company of my step siblings.
I am even closer to them than my own mother, I am not disputing the constant barrier from Mother's.

It's very wrong to call him a liar... U were never with him or know his family

Like I have always been saying, there is nothing sweet in polygamy, the consequences is always on the children and wives.
There is never true love among the co wives children, there is always envy and "I want my children to be better than my co wives children mentality" among the wives.
Forget the public display of affection and pretence. Avoid polygamy at all cost.
As a man if you want to have peace of mind when you get old and you want genuine love among your children avoid polygamy.

tanigororo:
Your Lies are Shallow, abeg.
I came from a polygamous house, and I enjoyed the company of my step siblings.
I am even closer to them than my own mother, I am not disputing the constant barrier from Mother's.

They actually pass the test for truth and depth.

They are plenty in Bayelsa.
I lived with them for a while.
It's not all rosey in most polygamous homes in Bayelsa.

Curtis03360:
Our father took care of us all equally and made sure everyone has a fair share of education and we never lack for food nor clothes while growing up……we eat together as a family, no mother cooks separately and my father tries his best to be fair in whatever he does both in meting out punishments or in sharing gifts. I dunno why the innate hatred, the first wife never show hatred even though it’s in her heart and her children always act like we all cool at family social gatherings and functions but deep down they don’t like those who are not their mother’s children and would gladly render assistance to outsiders than help give their father’s children a push in their endeavors

Na entitlement mentality dey worry you.

You need to use bleach to wash entitlement off your brain and mindset in this life else you'll never make it.

Once you realise nobody owes you anything, you will double your efforts and look for every possible means to make it on your own.

I don't know how old you are but I pray you're still below 25 and you have acquired tertiary education. Otherwise you setting yourself up for major failure in life by constantly thinking your older step siblings ought to help you in one way or another to succeed.

Why don't you be the successful one who others look onto for help? Are you disabled?

Go and hustle bro... acquire better skills and make your own money... Put in the hardwork and build your wealth gradually.

There's no shortcut to success... Putting your eyes in your step siblings wealth is greediness and wanting to take shortcut to success. The end result is never good.

Again, get rid of the entitlement mentality that is beclouding your judgement

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I'm from a polygamous family of four wivesbut we are united by love. In fact people think any of my stepmoms as my mom cos of how much they Care for me..I'm more closer to some of my step brothers than my full brother.. of course internal rift and politics may slightly exist but it's difficult to assess who is who as it's very rare

Ol boy, your father is an hero. Which preek he go take shuk 3 wives. Nnkan nbe!

dkidd:
It's very wrong to call him a liar... U were never with him or know his family. I grew up from a polygamous home myself with 5 wives my mom is the second .

Ah you wasted your energy on this devil? He is a mad Liar, that is why you see everyone just jumprd and pass.