₦airaland Forum

tiswell:
You better focus on the topic in context and take advice

Ndi beloved wife

Tomorrow you go hang yasef wen ya beloved wife go shock you

occfx:
Make she experience darkness small... She go understand. Meanwhile, try local made lithium batteries

those lithium are very expensive, have always used tubular,hopefully I'll get it next month if all works out, that fuel is a big drain on ones income

tiswell:
You better focus on the topic in context and take advice

Ndi beloved wife

Tomorrow you go hang yasef wen ya beloved wife go shock you

Sorry,na u digress and i had to prove u wrong.

After marrying a white woman,u go tell urself the truth.

Bobodee09:
My actual problem is fear of the unknown and unforseen expenses.

For instance last year March my daughter just came back from school and by night she got really sick.
In just 6days we spent over 200k on hospital bills.

I don't have people to run to for help, infact I hardly even ask anyone for help...so I can't afford to be financially stranded.

So that my fear which limits me alot but I think I need to put it aside now.

Bro, don't mind that guy. He sounds like an irresponsible and selfish fellow.

pretydiva:
I think you should really have a deep conversation with wifey. Let me not conclude yet that she’s self centered/ selfish.

She buying over 10 new shirts for herself , but couldn’t even get you her hubby any even if it’s just one, says a lot about her person.

Just like you rightly said, men should take good care of themselves. No need to do too much, do the best you can and leave the rest. Shikena

Splendid

pocohantas:
Honestly things are so hard these days. I calculated our most recent expenses and it is much. Many families have indeed lowered their spending. The only option now is another source of income or return to the village.

But what of us with men that we have begged to reduce work? Any advice for us? 😃

Absolutely right. Staying afloat requires more than just cutting expenses these days. I’m starting to think about some radical changes myself, like living alone for a while to cut down on certain costs and create room to focus on more work.

Ah, I get you! The challenge is that hardworking men usually don’t see more work as an issue. it’s just how they’re wired. Honestly, as long as the work isn’t having any detrimental effects on health or bonding time with the family, omo, I’d actually recommend work and more work. For some people with that kind of mindset, the goal may be early retirement, so at the end of the day, it’s a win-win. But if you’re worried about balance, maybe small adjustments here and there can help, like prioritising rest days. That way, they can still push hard without burning out.

GboyegaD:
Isn't the woman expected to do the same?

Abi.
Many Nigerians both rich and poor have this warped mentality that the man should be solely responsible for taking care of the family. So who takes care of the man?

You're very correct brother 💯
My neighbor's wife has been on his neck for the past two years now to have the third child. The man is still standing his ground that the two they have is enough. Funny enough, they don't have as much money as they used to have. She is doing this to compete with her friends who have 3kids aready. I don't understand how the woman dey reason.

Bobodee09:
Most times I don't like arguing this things cos it like you women never be accountable for anything.

So having those kids was actually only the man decision The woman didn't want them to be 4 ,the man was constantly raping her.

They just gave birth to the children last night and since he went broke due to the economy he should killed 2 out of those kids so he can take of wife and the remaining 2 according to you.


It very easy to know someone like you isn't married.


No this fact today, left to most men just having 1 or 2 kids is enough but it is women who clamor for more kids in marriage.

ibechris:
I have four children Mr,Gerard,and I am happy for them all.
I am 41 presently and I have more the means to take care of them. I am not boasting and I have not complain because my formular is working for me. My passive income takes care of my family expenses and why shouldn't I have the number of children I want. I work and my wife is a seasoned banker as well. I no get money...I get 200million naira in various investments. And i don't engage dirty yahoo or fraud.
So why should anyone question why i should have 4 four children?...when my mates with less cash than me,have more than for four kids.
It is my choice and not urs.

I have nothing against anyone who has four or one hundred children provided they don't complain about it. There has never been a great time in Nigeria's economic history to have four children. So those with four children plus should continue and leave Nigeria and the government out of it.

ibechris:
I have four children Mr,Gerard,and I am happy for them all.
I am 41 presently and I have more the means to take care of them. I am not boasting and I have not complain because my formular is working for me. My passive income takes care of my family expenses and why shouldn't I have the number of children I want. I work and my wife is a seasoned banker as well.

I no get money...I get 200million naira in various investments. And i don't engage dirty yahoo or fraud.

So why should anyone question why i should have 4 four children?...when my mates with less cash than me,have more than for four kids.

It is my choice and not urs.

Bros abeg show me the way oooo.

Any investment or side hustle.

Am really struggling to meet up with expenses.

skywalker240:
It is what it is

Even this year now we are battling how to make payments for school fees, house rent around the corner, the expenses keeps building up

Most times when I get home from work, after taking my bath, i just pretend that am sleeping and take a quiet place to reflect on what and what to do to improve the condition to favour

Life goes on

Nowadays, I don't work myself up, elders over here say

"Na the one WEY you chop for your Belle, na im be your own"

So most times when am at work and I see anything that i long to put in my stomach or for my satisfaction, I buy it, even if it means telling my wife a lie

Try to rest mostly on Sundays and when you get any chance off, lock yourself in the room and sleep

I'll never forget what A Man in his late 60s told me almost 10 years ago

He said if you as a family Man fall down and die today, the children you left behind will still achieve their goals and life purposes and yes they'll survive even without you.

Na so.

GloriousGbola:
wetin man go do?

go for meeting with danfo and enter meeting room sweating and smelling?
move pikin to gofamint school?
exchange camry for starlet?

Ahaha, how did you even think about "gofamint school"?

skywalker240:
It is what it is

Even this year now we are battling how to make payments for school fees, house rent around the corner, the expenses keeps building up

Most times when I get home from work, after taking my bath, i just pretend that am sleeping and take a quiet place to reflect on what and what to do to improve the condition to favour

Life goes on

Nowadays, I don't work myself up, elders over here say

"Na the one WEY you chop for your Belle, na im be your own"

So most times when am at work and I see anything that i long to put in my stomach or for my satisfaction, I buy it, even if it means telling my wife a lie

Try to rest mostly on Sundays and when you get any chance off, lock yourself in the room and sleep

I'll never forget what A Man in his late 60s told me almost 10 years ago

He said if you as a family Man fall down and die today, the children you left behind will still achieve their goals and life purposes and yes they'll survive even without you.

MAY GOD BLESS YOUR GENERATION ON THE BOLDED ☝️

ibechris:
My brother,I still don't agree with u too.

Is not everyone that is into fraud.
At 27, I have had two vehicles I was using for taxi while still working in the bank at that time...some of my peers I knew back then who served in FCDA in Abuja are doing pretty well too.

Everything boils down to your risk appetite especially when it comes to investments. And there is no one way formular to wealth. Just do the right thing.

I won't say more than this.

u worked in a bank n hav access to loans to buy cars which bankers normally do right?

How many people have that privilege?

GloriousGbola:
wetin man go do?

go for meeting with danfo and enter meeting room sweating and smelling?
move pikin to gofamint school?
exchange camry for starlet?

That's why people should live wisely

I was listening to one of my mentors recently talk on how he's managed his finances well.
For example that his present lifestyle
He can still maintain it, even if he's not making any money for the next 2 years.

So people should live a lifestyle that they won't put unnecessary pressure on themselves. Especially many young men, in order to please there babes. Will be living a very fake unsustainable lifestyle.
If you live wisely, and your woman can't manage your kind of lifestyle. Better no go kill yourself.

Better get sense this New Year.

Acidosis:
The thread reads as if you are blaming his wife and four children for his death... It doesn't make sense to advise a married man with four children to prioritise his own interests above all others, including the kids no one begged him to raise.

It is better to warn men against having children or even marrying.

At the end of the day, most of us will die for our personal interests. He wanted a certain lifestyle and standard of living and he went for it. It has nothing to do with his children. Many kids born in slums turn out fine. Na you want standard, and it's totally fine to die for what you believe in.

You right from this angle too bro ..

We can't just conclude because same children might grow up to become millionaires too and the family lineage will Prosper.

onyxo76:
This is true reflection of the average family man's life in this current dispensation.
One just has to avoid financial stess by all means, today I told my wife that we need a new inveter battery for the inverter, and I need her support ,she said she's giving her salary as first fruit to church this month, I told her I'm not going to keep fueling generator every night, na she kuku dey carry chutch doctrine for head.
I no go kill myself over anything again.

is it real that people truly give their first salary to church?
Like seriously I have heard it a couple times but don't believe it's real

The day my wife tells me that is the day she will start taking care of herself n start feeding herself or better still she should b collecting money from those pastors

So many young nigerian men are falling dead these days because of trying to meet up with western lifestyles.

onyxo76:
those lithium are very expensive, have always used tubular,hopefully I'll get it next month if all works out, that fuel is a big drain on ones income

Fuel is not an option.... Tubular is about 250 to 350k...i use local made lithium as rescue mission. I do it myself anyway, may be thats why I find it cheaper. Good tubular is OK but try to flood it back every 6 months with distilled water

Acidosis:
Ahaha, how did you even think about "gofamint school"?

the truth is we all have a limit we are not going to go below

because we know what comes with it

there is a reason one left some things behind because of the stress that comes with them

poverty is also a problem that can put you in a never ending cycle

yesterday i changed the tires of madams car. the week before the battery

some silly child will say manage it

thats when the car will break down at in oshodi and you find yourself facing a a whole new set of problems from area boy to local govt task force to lastma.

don't package yourself properly when meeting client and they will lowball you. same way you will size up an artisan and decide how much to pay him, na so client go also size you up.

and the cheapness of some accommodation also comes with the lack of security

Bobodee09:
My actual problem is fear of the unknown and unforseen expenses.

For instance last year March my daughter just came back from school and by night she got really sick.
In just 6days we spent over 200k on hospital bills.

I don't have people to run to for help, infact I hardly even ask anyone for help...so I can't afford to be financially stranded.

So that my fear which limits me alot but I think I need to put it aside now.

Consider having an health insurance. It's way better and cheaper

ibechris:
U are alone on this.

Nigerian women are still the best,because I married one of them and she is my beloved wife.

Same here

highchief1:
no born more than two kids.and don’t over upgrade your life.i drive a 2014 car I can buy a 2024.Most of the time we start what we can’t finish.life no to hard na we Dey stress ourselves.i refuse to put my kids in the most expensive school even though I can afford it.i no Dey do pass myself and this have saved me from pressure a great deal.

I have just 2 girls and I don't pass myself.

The fact remains no one foreseen the economy will get this bad.

Inflation is making money made to be so lil......even managing small life style is costing two much.

Just to eat breakfast alone for family of 4 we spent more than 5k be it bread or yam.

Most money I make goes into foods and household needs so isnt as if am living a wasteful lifestyle

Godwin4444:
is it real that people truly give their first salary to church?
Like seriously I have heard it a couple times but don't believe it's real

The day my wife tells me that is the day she will start taking care of herself n start feeding herself or better still she should b collecting money from those pastors

She would threaten you with cheating and that would be the beginning of the end. Those creatures are something else. My problem is that a lot of stupid men are willing to help the woman destroy her marriage and leave her alone

Acidosis:
Absolutely right. Staying afloat requires more than just cutting expenses these days. I’m starting to think about some radical changes myself, like living alone for a while to cut down on certain costs and create room to focus on more work.

Ah, I get you! The challenge is that hardworking men usually don’t see more work as an issue. it’s just how they’re wired. Honestly, as long as the work isn’t having any detrimental effects on health or bonding time with the family, omo, I’d actually recommend work and more work. For some people with that kind of mindset, the goal may be early retirement, so at the end of the day, it’s a win-win. But if you’re worried about balance, maybe small adjustments here and there can help, like prioritising rest days. That way, they can still push hard without burning out.

I am worried about his health. He complains himself that it is mentally draining. Last year we had a situation and if I weren't an emotionally strong person, it reach to have high bp. But the second he was fit, he continued from where he stopped. We would agree A, he would do B. If he slumps now, world people would say he was hustling to give his fair wife. Whereas I have talked and fought. I just pray God touches his heart this year.

tensazangetsu20:
The man is a fool for having 4 kids and men can control child birth. What happened to getting a vasectomy after having the first kid. Nigeria is only going to get harder. 2 kids is even a lot for an average Nigerian. There has never been a time the economy of Nigeria has been good enough for the average person to adequately provide for 4 kids.

After getting the two kids and undergone vasectomy, u now realise that those two kids belongs to ur wife ex...lol

Sebi u no wan get sense ni, I will be happy to see you ing.est 3 bottles of sniper

Bobodee09:
Most times I don't like arguing this things cos it like you women never be accountable for anything.

So having those kids was actually only the man decision The woman didn't want them to be 4 ,the man was constantly raping her.

They just gave birth to the children last night and since he went broke due to the economy he should killed 2 out of those kids so he can take of wife and the remaining 2 according to you.


It very easy to know someone like you isn't married.


No this fact today, left to most men just having 1 or 2 kids is enough but it is women who clamor for more kids in marriage.

you would have ignored the child.

she craves attention

juwoonn:
Same here

Pls,tell him to stop bad mouthing our women.

Bobodee09:
Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans trouser even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

Suffer only nigerian men u mean? I don't think nigerian married men suffer like those in advanced countries where the bills are shared between both partners.

Bobodee09:
I have just 2 girls and I don't pass myself.

The fact remains no one foreseen the economy will get this bad.

Inflation is making money made to be so lil......even managing small life style is costing two much.

Just to eat breakfast alone for family of 4 we spent more than 5k be it bread or yam.

Most money I make goes into foods and household needs so isnt as if am living a wasteful lifestyle

Every married man is seeing hell at the moment except those who are lucky with free flowing dough.

Just keep Amlodipin 10mg by your side and an anti depressant like Heineken or action bitters.

Godwin4444:
is it real that people truly give their first salary to church?
Like seriously I have heard it a couple times but don't believe it's real

The day my wife tells me that is the day she will start taking care of herself n start feeding herself or better still she should b collecting money from those pastors

People do it ooo.

Am an MFM member and I confirm it.

I did it some years back and that was the only one and last time.

Am not against anyone that believes in it but I can never do it again.

Bobodee09:
My actual problem is fear of the unknown and unforseen expenses.

For instance last year March my daughter just came back from school and by night she got really sick.
In just 6days we spent over 200k on hospital bills.

I don't have people to run to for help, infact I hardly even ask anyone for help...so I can't afford to be financially stranded.

So that my fear which limits me alot but I think I need to put it aside now.

Actually I understand you
But this doesn't stop you from buying like 2/3 trousers or appareals/ clothes

It's great you are shouldering your responsibilities, I salute you.
But don't neglect yourself.

I used to be like you. Couple of years back I made a bit good money. But my madam, my home expenses, almost chop everything except the ones I invested back in my business.

Only for my madam, to ask me when we were quarrelling wetin I use the money do? Because I told her about the money. When I reminded her all the money I gave her, she no fit talk again.

That taught me a very big lesson. Now all my earnings, I still take good care of my family, but I don't neglect taking care of myself. I buy good clothes, shoes, etc. This year in Sha Allah I go take better vacation abroad even if na Rwanda or Qatar etc cause I no come this Life to watch others enjoy themselves. I work very hard and play harder