₦airaland Forum

12inchess:
I'm based in Ohio

We can link up in Ohio if you won't mind.

30yrs mortgage...Worst pass rent

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

guy Ur village people are inviting you to come home, U better mk urself happy

Kobojunkie:
What is wrong with seeing a therapist? I used to be on antidepressants and will swear by them too. The key is to work with your doctor(s) to find the right antidepressants and co-drugs for your own particular case.

I didn't write that there is anything wrong with seeing a therapist.
For some, those antidepressants are not good for them in the long run.

Kobojunkie:
Why shouldn't he take antidepressants?

I did not asked him not to, I want to know the reason ni alaye

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

Sorry to read about your health challenges and depression......

Have you spoken to a professional therapist (not a pastor or imam)......

Search for activities that would deflect your mind, from your depressive state.. I hope your wife is your second team player.......

30 year mortgage, does not mean you're stuck for 30 years, you can sell the property, overpay your mortgage, cutting on the length, thereby saving on interest payment + you're also building equity and a good store of financial value.......

Hold this mantra, what you cannot help, is not worth thinking about.......

12inchess:
Most of the advanced treatments have failed but the fertility issues is not the reason I'm sad and lonely. In fact I fear taking additional responsibility in the name of kids given my physical and mental state. And to those who are asking why are turned irreligious. It's simple. I found out I wasn't gaining much from church.

Learn to see church as a social gathering where you meet new people, and remove the religious aspect from your mind. Try out new activities to help keep your mind away from those negative thoughts, and also, have a journal. Trust me, journaling your thoughts would miraculously help you feel less burdened — even if it's for that moment. Give yourself new and fun challenges.

I know all of these because like you, I'm not really religious but even though I don't go to church nowadays I have learned to blend in with religious folks around me. I'm always in my default state—sadness. Depression and anxiety has always been my companion, and death has always signified freedom to me. So, look, SuperOnyi knows those feelings. The worst part is loneliness doesn't feel lonely to me...

Stop taking those pills before you become too dependent on them. I hope you find peace, there are millions of us out there, buddy. Buckle up!

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

You just have to make concious efforts to make friends...

Some have cap but have no head, some have head but have no cap.

We have head and we have cap, glory be to thee o Lord.

WantsandMore:
Fatigue is a question of diet, unhealthy gut and a poor lifestyle choices perhaps in the past or present. My recommendation is that you start internmitent fasting 18/6, prioritize 40% carbs 60% protein in your diets and for Gods sake ditch processed foods and carbo drinks do very little sugar. Be patient as you go through this transformation. Godspeed

The fatigue is most likely from him wasting all his energy imagining horrible things in his mind. He's so engrossed in it that it leaves him physically drained. The fancy name is depression or anxiety.

You are not wrong too but he may do all you've said and still waste all the energy on negative creative thinking.

12inchess:
I know that. I was in Nigeria in 2023. But I virtually miss home. I am homesick AGAIN. You wouldn't understand if you've not lived abroad for long. I am the one wearing the shoe and I know where it's pinching me.

You don't have a problem if your major problem is missing Nigeria. Just board a flight and go back to Nigeria to enjoy the wonderful Nigerian nation.


You have lived in the US for 8 years, you didn't buy landed properties in Nigeria, you didn't build any commercial building, you didn't make any meaningful investment back in Nigeria, you just stayed put in the US and next you went and married, next you went and bought a house on a low paid job according to you. What does your wife do?


You didn't consider change of career to a more promising career in the tech or IT or medicine to enable you earn more, take care of yourself more and invest more in Nigeria for a stress free retirement.


My brother you already made lots of mistakes and correcting them now won't be easy. You already entered into a house mortgage, just be managing it like that and plan visits to Nigeria during Christmas to unwind and relax.


How some of you guys travel abroad and abandon your childhood friends, forget to invest back in Nigeria beats my imagination. I still communicate and flex with all my school mates. In fact last December was a loud one for all us. We gathered from different countries of the world in Southeast to enjoy our lives. From US, Canada, Switzerland, UK, Germany, Japan, Singapore, Angola, China, SK, Lagos, Abuja, PHC, etc. We all are doing greatly and have always been in contact with each other despite the distance. We talk on phones often for years now. When one buy land or house at a good location he encourage others to come closer and those that have cash at that time follow suit. We have been together and it's been amazing but some of you once you leave Nigeria you distance yourself from all friends cos you believe they are doomed forever since they couldn't migrate same time u did.


Nigeria as bad as it is is still a fertile ground for investment. Being abroad should give you an edge to raise startup capital faster to join in the Nigerian investment boom. Some lands I bought few years ago have appreciated by x5, some x10 to my amazement. I wished I bought like 5 hectares of land, by now I will be planning my retirement at 40.

If you can correct things, try by working towards investing back in Nigeria.



You can reconnect back with your university mates back in Nigeria if you weren't snubby and arrogant to them when you left Nigeria thinking they will all die poor and wretched. Because I am sure most of them now are doing exceedingly well beyond what you may have thought when you left Nigeria, that's always the case.

franchasofficia:
You don't have a problem if your major problem is missing Nigeria. Just board a flight and go back to Nigeria to enjoy the wonderful Nigerian nation.


You have lived in the US for 8 years, you didn't buy landed properties in Nigeria, you didn't build any commercial building, you didn't make any meaningful investment back in Nigeria, you just stayed put in the US and next you went and married, next you went and bought a house on a low paid job according to you. What does your wife do?


You didn't consider change of career to a more promising career in the tech or IT or medicine to enable you earn more, take care of yourself more and invest more in Nigeria for a stress free retirement.


My brother you already made lots of mistakes and correcting them now won't be easy. You already entered into a house mortgage, just be managing it like that and plan visits to Nigeria during Christmas to unwind and relax.


How some of you guys travel abroad and abandon your childhood friends, forget to invest back in Nigeria beats my imagination. I still communicate and flex with all my school mates. In fact last December was a loud one for all us. We gathered from different countries of the world in Southeast to enjoy our lives. From US, Canada, Switzerland, UK, Germany, Japan, Singapore, Angola, China, SK, Lagos, Abuja, PHC, etc. We all are doing greatly and have always been in contact with each other despite the distance. We talk on phones often for years now. When one buy land or house at a good location he encourage others to come closer and those that have cash at that time follow suit. We have been together and it's been amazing but some of you once you leave Nigeria you distance yourself from all friends cos you believe they are doomed forever since they couldn't migrate same time u did.


Nigeria as bad as it is is still a fertile ground for investment. Being abroad should give you an edge to raise startup capital faster to join in the Nigerian investment boom. Some lands I bought few years ago have appreciated by x5, some x10 to my amazement. I wished I bought like 5 hectares of land, by now I will be planning my retirement at 40.

If you can correct things, try by working towards investing back in Nigeria.



You can reconnect back with your university mates back in Nigeria if you weren't snubby and arrogant to them when you left Nigeria thinking they will all die poor and wretched. Because I am sure most of them now are doing exceedingly well beyond what you may have thought when you left Nigeria, that's always the case.

You finally spoilt the guy mood in this dimension .
But the truth is bitter Sha , but he can still reverse investing in Yankee na

Zooboy:
You finally spoilt the guy mood in this dimension .
But the truth is bitter Sha , but he can still reverse investing in Yankee na

His mood doesn't matter, he needs to hear the bitter truth to help reset his brain.


Any Nigerian that migrate abroad and abandon his friends and family in Nigeria don't always go far. I speak from experience.


Remaining connected to quality friends and family members back in Nigeria when you migrate abroad helps you to keep updated with the realities of life, it helps your mental health. It helps keep you up and doing, you will know what others doing well are doing and you follow suit. It help a lot.


When you migrate abroad and blank yourself from friends and family back home, you cut off your world, you remain in darkness abroad thinking you are making progress. Meanwhile the progress you think you are making abroad might not be enough but because you are now cut off from the Nigerian community, you start to live your life like a lost whiteman without root.


No matter where you live, you can never be an indigene of that nation. You will definitely feel empty without your own people, you will even become less ambitious when you cut off from Nigerian community because you will no longer have the zeal, the push and a yardstick to measure your progress. Information is power.


Any smart Nigerian living abroad like the states can leverage on both countries to work few years and retire comfortably in few years instead of working perpetually abroad till old age paying debts and bills.


What makes Nigerians age well and have a great retirement at old age is our communal lifestyle. Our kids dont abandon us at aged peoples homes because we are a burden to them. That communal lifestyle of Nigerians help a lot in balancing our mental health and well being.

Do what interest you Most
Focus on self happiness
Self love yourself
Engage in leisure activities or games

He has no friend just his Wife and no kid to add drama to his life .. So he is feeling really bored just slaving away , and having health issue is and additional stress especially when you look okay on the outside ....First thing don't overstress yourself thinking about what you can't change , and don't let anyone stress you . Avoid Comparison if it doesn't help you get better . Remember in 100 Years from now no one will give a damn , everyone forgets. Just find simple things that make you happy like Cuppy shaking her wigs head and smiling at the camera . Most importantly love yourself.

Kobojunkie:
Nigerians no dey get depression yet growing up in Nigeria, I not only grew up a depressed mind but I also knew of at least 10 cases of possible suicide where I lived in Ikorodu. Most of them were written off as evil spirit cases and all the other religious nonsense Nigerians are notorious for. Come on naw! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Na so una dey always use lies to deceive and delude people. Are you referring to many of the same African churches here were most of their members struggle from one issue or another? Make OP go join the queue to fill seats, abi?

Those people you stated are poor. A rich Nigerian man would rather sacrifice another person's life than kill himself. This man is Rich and comfortable yet depressed. Can't you see the bigger picture? This is abnormal for a typical Nigerian!

Helpout12345:
And on being happy generally. You need to find ways to be grateful for what you have and what you have accomplished in life. Think of millions of people that are behind you and praying daily to be where you are.

Think of where you are coming from, where you are now and use that as a way to motivate yourself.

You have a wife, good job, good home, you are legal in the US etc. I am sure there are many you can look inwards to.

There are many Nigerians that are praying daily to be like you even in this US.

you have said every thing i wanted to say on this. While it is ok for 12inchess to vent and express how he feels, as far as suggestions and action points go, i believe helpout has offered very wise and clear nuggets on changes you can adopt to make your life better and less drab. It is especially important that you make some changes, else you risk another challenge rearing its ugly head in your marriage. Women feed off the vibe and energy you give off. If your wife tunes off or starts dissociating from you due to the setting/pattern you have described here, e no funny o.

Be intentional about infusing some joy and excitement in your life, and also in your marriage. Very very impoprtant. No one will do it for you o.

12inchess:
I'm based in Ohio

Are you in dayton

12inchess:
I'm no longer very religious.

that is what America does to you ,take away your spirituality as you experience lush ambiance of good living JESUS IS STILL LORD OF THOSE SOULS THAT BELIEVE

franchasofficia:
You don't have a problem if your major problem is missing Nigeria. Just board a flight and go back to Nigeria to enjoy the wonderful Nigerian nation.


You have lived in the US for 8 years, you didn't buy landed properties in Nigeria, you didn't build any commercial building, you didn't make any meaningful investment back in Nigeria, you just stayed put in the US and next you went and married, next you went and bought a house on a low paid job according to you. What does your wife do?


You didn't consider change of career to a more promising career in the tech or IT or medicine to enable you earn more, take care of yourself more and invest more in Nigeria for a stress free retirement.


My brother you already made lots of mistakes and correcting them now won't be easy. You already entered into a house mortgage, just be managing it like that and plan visits to Nigeria during Christmas to unwind and relax.


How some of you guys travel abroad and abandon your childhood friends, forget to invest back in Nigeria beats my imagination. I still communicate and flex with all my school mates. In fact last December was a loud one for all us. We gathered from different countries of the world in Southeast to enjoy our lives. From US, Canada, Switzerland, UK, Germany, Japan, Singapore, Angola, China, SK, Lagos, Abuja, PHC, etc. We all are doing greatly and have always been in contact with each other despite the distance. We talk on phones often for years now. When one buy land or house at a good location he encourage others to come closer and those that have cash at that time follow suit. We have been together and it's been amazing but some of you once you leave Nigeria you distance yourself from all friends cos you believe they are doomed forever since they couldn't migrate same time u did.


Nigeria as bad as it is is still a fertile ground for investment. Being abroad should give you an edge to raise startup capital faster to join in the Nigerian investment boom. Some lands I bought few years ago have appreciated by x5, some x10 to my amazement. I wished I bought like 5 hectares of land, by now I will be planning my retirement at 40.

If you can correct things, try by working towards investing back in Nigeria.

You can reconnect back with your university mates back in Nigeria if you weren't snubby and arrogant to them when you left Nigeria thinking they will all die poor and wretched. Because I am sure most of them now are doing exceedingly well beyond what you may have thought when you left Nigeria, that's always the case.

You made a whole sense here. I realised the aspect of playing both sides rather than cutting off Nigeria entirely. As I discussed with another Nigerian yesterday, any Nigerian who was born and bred in Nigeria for at least 25 years before moving elsewhere especially to places with few black people will yearn to return. So why return to nothing? In fact, every time I look back, I'm glad my parents didn't sell any property to sponsor my education abroad and to top it I got scholarships. So everything is intact and I maintain good communication with folks back home, all of whom are doing well in their various endeavours.

Aside from emerging Asia and Big Daddy China, Europe is going to experience severe economic anaemic growth in the next decade. Africa will be the best place to manufacture and sell goods and services.

OP's wife refusing to return is one of the issues with relocating to Anglophone countries with a Nigerian wife. If he had done everything as a bachelor, it would have been easier and quicker to amend things. Mind you, no kids yet, but she refuses to relocate. Imagine when children enter the picture.

OP, move to Texas or nearby states where you have a big and strong Nigerian community and most importantly, a near tropical environment. One of the causes of your depression is the temperate weather - winter isn't favourable for a black person. Nobody fit tell me otherwise. Another is to begin an aggressive job search in Nigeria where your American degree and experience would match. Don't expect big big salaries and for the sake of whoever you worship, don't get involved into the senseless NGN - USD conversion rhetoric. I've advised a friend the same to use his Japanese degree to job hunt in Nigeria, but he prefers the low wage and career limiting English teaching job here. Why some people don't want to return to Nigeria to get something much better than the abroad even after obtaining almost free education beats me.

Gerrard59:
You made a whole sense here. I realised the aspect of playing both sides rather than cutting off Nigeria entirely. As I discussed with another Nigerian yesterday, any Nigerian who was born and bred in Nigeria for at least 25 years before moving elsewhere especially to places with few black people will yearn to return. So why return to nothing? In fact, every time I look back, I'm glad my parents didn't sell any property to sponsor my education abroad and to top it I got scholarships. So everything is intact and I maintain good communication with folks back home, all of whom are doing well in their various endeavours.

Aside from emerging Asia and Big Daddy China, Europe is going to experience severe economic anaemic growth in the next decade. Africa will be the best place to manufacture and sell goods and services.

Succinctly put.


Our people will keep learning the hard way.

12inchess:
Part of the health issues I am having is fertility issues.

Hmm
Really deep.

Thanks for all the advises so far. First let me clear some assumptions. I got married before I moved to the U.S and my wife came to join me a year after. Secondly, I didnt cut off all my friends in Nigeria. Most of us simply drifted apart. Many have also relocated to different countries abroad. Thirdly my major problem is just a feeling of emptiness and sadness which leads to depression. Fourthly I'm doing a fairly decent job in the U.S and likewise my wife. I'm not doing a low income job so my finances are okay. We have some investment here although not much I believe it's okay for our level. I

I don't know where I got it wrong. Everyday I now wake up from bed to go to work is a struggle. I never was a person with a whole lot of friends. My friends were typically guys on my street that I worked up to. The tailor that sews for me etc. But since I came here everyone simply minds their own business. My problem is that I long for the simpler days which I believe are long gone now. I think I need some growing up to do but it's just so hard for me given my loneliness and depression. I really need a way out before things even get worse. I can conveninetly survive unpaid at my job for a few months but since I just started less than a year ago I think they will take me as unserious if I suggest leaving the job for a break. The process of getting my Greencard also took quite a while and I feel I should make the best use of it by making as much money as I can since I now have it but I also don't want to harm myself mentally in the course of doing that.

I go to a Nigerian church before but it was all about pay tithe donate money this and that so I lost interest. I'm really at my wits end so please keep the advises coming and reading everyone of them and will make a decision based on what I receive here.

Thanks!

12inchess:
I'm no longer very religious.

This exactly is the issue! God is calling you, please God a chance. Trust me, you will come back here to testify! The Joy that comes from knowing God can never be compared to anything!

12inches leave the anti depressants and take psychedelics instead. Ayahuasca and other psychedelics cures depression 100%

Zzyco:
✓ Those people you stated are poor. A rich Nigerian man would rather sacrifice another person's life than kill himself. This man is Rich and comfortable yet depressed. Can't you see the bigger picture? This is abnormal for a typical Nigerian!

Stated where poor? Where did I state such absurdity? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Kobojunkie:
Stated where poor? Where did I state such absurdity? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Lol, which kind of people live in Ikurodu? Show me one rich depressed Nigerian man I will show you 99 poor Nigerian men. Let's face the subject, stop trying to act ignorant. BTW I am a health practitioner, this is from first-hand experience, not some hearsay gimmicks.

12inchess:
Thanks for all the advises so far. First let me clear some assumptions. I got married before I moved to the U.S and my wife came to join me a year after. Secondly, I didnt cut off all my friends in Nigeria. Most of us simply drifted apart. Many have also relocated to different countries abroad. Thirdly my major problem is just a feeling of emptiness and sadness which leads to depression. Fourthly I'm doing a fairly decent job in the U.S and likewise my wife. I'm not doing a low income job so my finances are okay. We have some investment here although not much I believe it's okay for our level. I

I don't know where I got it wrong. Everyday I now wake up from bed to go to work is a struggle. I never was a person with a whole lot of friends. My friends were typically guys on my street that I worked up to. The tailor that sews for me etc. But since I came here everyone simply minds their own business. My problem is that I long for the simpler days which I believe are long gone now. I think I need some growing up to do but it's just so hard for me given my loneliness and depression. I really need a way out before things even get worse. I can conveninetly survive unpaid at my job for a few months but since I just started less than a year ago I think they will take me as unserious if I suggest leaving the job for a break. The process of getting my Greencard also took quite a while and I feel I should make the best use of it by making as much money as I can since I now have it but I also don't want to harm myself mentally in the course of doing that.

I go to a Nigerian church before but it was all about pay tithe donate money this and that so I lost interest. I'm really at my wits end so please keep the advises coming and reading everyone of them and will make a decision based on what I receive here.

Thanks!

Send me a DM let's connect and talk things through. You can come to my place and spend the weekend with me. Only those who have lived in the US can truly understand your plight.

Go clubbing with correct guy and Babes you will be.

No one can advise yu to come back to Nigeria. Because you won’t be able to cope again.

Your wife might be a problem for the clubbing thing but you should find a way to make whatever that will make you have your sanity back intact in hatevee form.

Good morning brother (in USA)

Please reconcile with your maker (God), the family you came out from will not sit and watch you fulfill destiny (sad but true), the first tactics is to dissociate you from God then they strike

Matthew 10:36 "A man's enemies will be the members of his own household"

You can't fight this battle using therapy and drugs, go on your knees and plead for God's mercy today bros I tell you the spirit of backwardness is too real, that's why you see people dreaming and seeing themselves in their primary schools, secondary schools, former residences and place of work just to mention but a few.


You can only win when that void in you is filled with a genuine relationship with God.

Thank you and remain blessed.

12inchess:
➜... My problem is that I long for the simpler days which I believe are long gone now. I think I need some growing up to do but it's just so hard for me given my loneliness and depression. I really need a way out before things even get worse. I can conveninetly survive unpaid at my job for a few months but since I just started less than a year ago I think they will take me as unserious if I suggest leaving the job for a break. The process of getting my Greencard also took quite a while and I feel I should make the best use of it by making as much money as I can since I now have it but I also don't want to harm myself mentally in the course of doing that.
➜I go to a Nigerian church before but it was all about pay tithe donate money this and that so I lost interest.
➜I'm really at my wits end so please keep the advises coming and reading everyone of them and will make a decision based on what I receive here.
Thanks!

1. Does your wife know of all of this you are going through at this point in time though? Given that you are married, it would not be right of you to decide independently. You two should sit back together and figure out the best way forward instead of making that plan all by yourself.

Having your wife as your support partner in this is a great idea. If you have yet to sign up for mental health therapy sessions to at least help you better understand what you are dealing with, I suggest you do so. And if possible, have your wife also educate herself on the struggles involved with depression so she can help you get in any way she can afford.

2. Discard religion for your own mental health's sake abeg! You are more likely to gain more— social intelligence at least— from walking into a bar somewhere and watching people relate with themselves than you are from those churches, or churches for that matter.

3. Seek out professional health therapy and also join online mental health forums where you can discuss with others what you are going through. That kind of support equally helps you resolve the underlying reasons for your particular problem —your particular fears and worries.

Keep a journal of your thoughts and ruminations— guilt, shame, worries, fears, etc. This could lead you to the reasons for your depression and also help you tackle it at its very root.