₦airaland Forum

Tohsynetita1:
➜I did not asked him not to, I want to know the reason ni alaye

Antidepressants are typically used for managing depression. OP stated that he is currently struggling with depression and anxiety.

PeachtreeReside:
➜I didn't write that there is anything wrong with seeing a therapist. For some, those antidepressants are not good for them in the long run.

For some? You forgot to reason that with any drug out there— even your basic Panadol that ended up harming some too — the same there are equally many others who have greatly benefited from the use of antidepressants. So why attack OP's use of the medication when you have absolyely no way of knowing whether OP would benefit more from it in the long run or not?

12inchess:
Thanks for all the advises so far. First let me clear some assumptions. I got married before I moved to the U.S and my wife came to join me a year after. Secondly, I didnt cut off all my friends in Nigeria. Most of us simply drifted apart. Many have also relocated to different countries abroad. Thirdly my major problem is just a feeling of emptiness and sadness which leads to depression. Fourthly I'm doing a fairly decent job in the U.S

Thanks!

Advises?

I have read about this abroad depression and loneliness from many places and forums but I guess we here in Nigeria can't understand perfectly unless witnessed first hand.

I have read people said some ran mental due to abroad stress and that the depression eats at the brain. Well, you people understand better, and I sympathize with you.

Personally, I'm not a fan of abroad childish excitements, however, you may consider what someone said up there by moving to somewhere like Texas where there's more sun and Nigerian communities. Maybe not as easy as I've put, well, you know better.

But I sense you're at the edge of calling it quits with the foreign land and damning whatever consequence such decision may bring. Now, whatever you do, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU SECURE A DECENT JOB HERE in Nigeria before calling it quits totally.

Listen to Kobojunkie. You may need to switch antidepressants before you find one that suits you.

Look up when you become eligible for FMLA and book a flight back home for the day after. It ll give you something to look forward to.

You are right in the middle of existential crisis,it seems. Journalling and Therapy can help too.

Try 1 hour everyweek to do something for people you do not know. Volunteer in your city.

Keep us posted ,you hear?

NB: don't mind that francha whatever,he has no clue.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_crisis

Kobojunkie:
Antidepressants are typically used for managing depression. OP stated that he is currently struggling with depression and anxiety.

I am asking what caused the depression

12inchess:
I'm no longer very religious.

Give Jesus a chance again

Not even at this current heat of Trump Government and the MAGA supporters. Racism will be at its peak. I only pity any black (Nigerian) man abroad at this time

It rains everyone.

Those of us in Nigeria have not died of hunger, we have families, we have owanbe to attend, we live a communal lifestyle, we won't be afraid to die in our country.

Listen young man, abroad doesn't give you joy at a certain age. It's just a myth. You'll be home sick. You'll work like a slave.
Remember, all your achievements and worries won't matter on your dead bed.

Enjoy your few time on earth.

missjekyll:
➜Listen to .... You may need to switch antidepressants before you find one that suits you.
➜Look up when you become eligible for FMLA and book a flight back home for the day after. It ll give you something to look forward to.
You are right in the middle of existential crisis,it seems. Journalling and Therapy can help too. Try 1 hour everyweek to do something for people you do not know. Volunteer in your city. Keep us posted ,you hear?
NB: don't mind that francha whatever,he has no clue.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_crisis

OP, the point in bold is very very important. There are so many antidepressants and many of them may not be of best fit for you. You need to work together with your psychiatrist to find the best antidepressant cocktail for you. When I was on antidepressants myself, I had to go through several psychiatrists to find one that would work for me. After that, we then worked through different antidepressant combinations to find the best coupling and dosage for me. It took me years but it was one of the best decisions I made for my life given that I had struggled with major depression since I was about 3.5 years of age — I recall a traumatic event from as far back as that in my life. I vividly remember that emotion too.

2. OP, this is important too. Also, consider seriously adding exercise to your routine no matter how small please. Even if it is a short walk down the street with your wife— or without her is OK too— every other day/night, or a hike up a trail or ride on a bicycle on the weekends... do something different from what you have become used to doing.

Reconnect with your old friends if you are really that friend-starved but I would rather recommend you go hang out with strangers instead. Volunteer at the local foodbank for example. (Yes, they are typically held in churches but volunteering there wouldn't make you one of them.) Find new people and listen to them talk about their lives and interests. I myself joined a local cycling club back when I was struggling and I would just sit around and listen to people while waiting for the race to start. It helped me broaden my horizons and my views about myself and my life as well. (Improving upon your social and emotional intelligence is a good way to gain back control over your mind from that thing called depression.)

Work towards opening up your mind and letting go of old biases that have kept you closed to the point of thinking home is in Nigeria and not where you are right now. That mindset is NOT a good/healthy one at all given, again, even Nigerians equally claim that home is meant to be where the heart is which is essentially right wherever you find yourself. Think a bit about it. If you had a child, are you going to tell that child that where you live right now is not home and that home is 1000s of miles away? What kind of depressing existence would that not be?

Also, don't think too much about how or when to make the changes. Merely begin each by adopting the Nike logo, JUST DO IT!

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated...

At the bolded, please can you test to check your vitamin D level? I'm assuming it's very low, hence the fatigue and the depression and other negative feelings you may be having.

Also, you need to heal your gut. Most sickness and diseases start from the gut. To heal your gut, start taking fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, kombucha, sauerkraut, Kimchi to increase the good bacteria in your gut.

In summary:
1. Heal your gut via fermented foods and not drugs.
2. Increase your vitamin D3 intake. Go for the ones with Vitamin K2 added because D3 and K2 work hand in hand.

I am 10000% sure that your vitamin D level is very low hence the fatigue and depression you're having.

Check out the attached image I grabbed from comment on YouTube regarding vitamin D3 supplementation. It's kinda similar to yours.

I wish you the very best as you strive to regain your full health. Cheers!

WantsandMore:
Fatigue is a question of diet, unhealthy gut and a poor lifestyle choices perhaps in the past or present. My recommendation is that you start internmitent fasting 18/6, prioritize 40% carbs 60% protein in your diets and for Gods sake ditch processed foods and carbo drinks do very little sugar. Be patient as you go through this transformation. Godspeed

GOD bless you for this input.

Food is our medicine.

Our gut needs to be taken care of with good food - home-cooked meals and not ultra processed foods we have everywhere.

GOD bless you again.

WantsandMore:
Fatigue is a question of diet, unhealthy gut and a poor lifestyle choices perhaps in the past or present. My recommendation is that you start internmitent fasting 18/6, prioritize 40% carbs 60% protein in your diets and for Gods sake ditch processed foods and carbo drinks do very little sugar. Be patient as you go through this transformation. Godspeed

Please stop telling this lie to people! I know for a fact that illnesses such as Chronic fatigue syndrome(CFS) have absolutely nothing to do with your diet. And fasting — whether intermittent or not — will not help everyone with this problem. So, please stop telling people these tales by moonlight.

Eating healthy is always not a bad idea but it comes with no guarantees; that much has been more than scientifically proven at this point in time.

Kobojunkie:
Please stop telling this lie to people! I know for a fact that illnesses such as Chronic fatigue syndrome(CFS) have absolutely nothing to do with your diet. And fasting — whether intermittent or not — will not help everyone with this problem. So, please stop telling people these tales by moonlight.

Eating healthy is always not a bad idea but it comes with no guarantees; that much has been more than scientifically proven at this point in time.

ok

WantsandMore:
ok

Let's use opportunities such as this to educate ourselves on the facts as opposed to the meaningless fables that only make things worse for those suffering and confused about their suffering abeg! We are in 2025 and have enough information at our disposal to be able to load ourselves up with only that which is of value as opposed to all the yeye claims of our ignorant folks from back in that country abeg!

Kobojunkie:
Let's use opportunities such as this to educate ourselves on the facts as opposed to the meaningless fables that only make things worse for those suffering and confused about their suffering abeg! We are in 2025 and have enough information at our disposal to be able to load ourselves up with only that which is of value as opposed to all the yeye claims of our ignorant folks from back in that country abeg!

ok. Now run along.

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying to him. I took anti-depressants for many years and I can swear by them any day that they were the best things that ever happened to me as the depressed soul I was before it all.

By the way, antidepressants are not meant to "solve the problem". Rather, they are to help people with mental illness manage their condition so that they can live a life that at least comes close to the one they prefer. Give them more control over an otherwise uncontrollable situation that is mental illness. If the mental illness is there for all of your life, what would you rather the mentally ill do? Refuse to use what is at least available to help them live a more comfortable life.

I find this explanation odd.

ferhyntorlah:
✓ I find this explanation odd.

Odd because?

WantsandMore:
ok. Now run along.

Let's all be for dispelling myths than propagating them abeg! This is 2025.

Kobojunkie:
Odd because?

I find you and everything about you ODD!

EOD!

ferhyntorlah:
✓ I find you and everything about you ODD!
EOD!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 What?? Are you disappointed that I am not programmed like you would instead expect? 😂😂😂😂😂

Kobojunkie:
Let's all be for dispelling myths than propagating them abeg! This is 2025.

Please can you allow people to drop their opinions? Everyone must not have similar opinions. We must not all agree on everything. We all learn everyday. Everything is not arguments. When we allow other opinions, we learn.

This person has brought an important struggle. The least we want to do is to derail this thread to arguments and forcing of opinions on others or the OP.

Helpout12345:
➜Please can you allow people to drop their opinions? Everyone must not have similar opinions. We must not all agree on everything.
➜ We all learn everyday. Everything is not arguments. When we allow other opinions, we learn.
➜This person has brought an important struggle. The least we want to do is to derail this thread to arguments and forcing of opinions on others or the OP.

The same way you are allowed to drop opinions, I am allowed to counter them with what are facts. What OP needs in his condition are not opinions really but medical facts and ideas to help him counter or at least better manage his condition. Mental illness is not a walk in the park and certainly not a joke that you would think opinions should be thrown around.

2. We learn by exchanging facts not opinions that only propagate already debunked myths.

3. All the more reason why you should take it very seriously, particularly by presenting only facts and not more gibberish for him to have to wade through on top of what he is already dealing with.

12inchess:
Thanks for all the advises so far. First let me clear some assumptions. I got married before I moved to the U.S and my wife came to join me a year after. Secondly, I didnt cut off all my friends in Nigeria. Most of us simply drifted apart. Many have also relocated to different countries abroad. Thirdly my major problem is just a feeling of emptiness and sadness which leads to depression. Fourthly I'm doing a fairly decent job in the U.S and likewise my wife. I'm not doing a low income job so my finances are okay. We have some investment here although not much I believe it's okay for our level. I

I don't know where I got it wrong. Everyday I now wake up from bed to go to work is a struggle. I never was a person with a whole lot of friends. My friends were typically guys on my street that I worked up to. The tailor that sews for me etc. But since I came here everyone simply minds their own business. My problem is that I long for the simpler days which I believe are long gone now. I think I need some growing up to do but it's just so hard for me given my loneliness and depression. I really need a way out before things even get worse. I can conveninetly survive unpaid at my job for a few months but since I just started less than a year ago I think they will take me as unserious if I suggest leaving the job for a break. The process of getting my Greencard also took quite a while and I feel I should make the best use of it by making as much money as I can since I now have it but I also don't want to harm myself mentally in the course of doing that.

I go to a Nigerian church before but it was all about pay tithe donate money this and that so I lost interest. I'm really at my wits end so please keep the advises coming and reading everyone of them and will make a decision based on what I receive here.

Thanks!

I don't really have advice to give but I just want you to know I understand exactly how you feel. I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.

I'm thinking of taking a 2 months medical leave and come to Nigeria to clear my head. Hopefully that will help me put things in perspective. The process is long since I need to get a medical certificate from my psychiatrist and talk to my supervisor but I will try to press through. Hopefully they don't fire me for this otherwise I will just have to look for another job I guess.

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

I understand you. Sometimes I feel so too and I have plans to go back. You just need to set a goal. Save up money, if it’s to start small thing that would be giving you money back home. Then you can go back. As for the house, I dnt think it’s an issue as you can sell anytime

Kobojunkie:
Let's all be for dispelling myths than propagating them abeg! This is 2025.

The nature of human stupidity, they think they know all the answers. 😤😒

12inchess:
I'm thinking of taking a 2 months medical leave and come to Nigeria to clear my head. Hopefully that will help me put things in perspective. The process is long since I need to get a medical certificate from my psychiatrist and talk to my supervisor but I will try to press through. Hopefully they don't fire me for this otherwise I will just have to look for another job I guess.

Is it possible for you to be self employed right there in the States just like we do in nigeria

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

.

May I ask what is the usual treatment for depression or mental health issues in Nigeria? I was just reading an article about migrant returnees that were trying to get to Europe but were sent back home and now felt ostracized and suicidal. IOM and the Nigerian govt said they'd be offering psychosocial support and it just made me curious as Im a Psych Nurse Practitioner in the US, how these things are handled there? Appreciate it!

Helpout12345:
Exactly. Those American antidepressants hardly solve the problem. They are just there to manage it for the rest of your life, if they don't even make your situation more worse.

I am not a doctor but this is my observation in the US.

NurseSnowToYou:
➜May I ask what is the usual treatment for depression or mental health issues in Nigeria?
➜ I was just reading an article about migrant returnees that were trying to get to Europe but were sent back home and now felt ostracized and suicidal.
➜ IOM and the Nigerian govt said they'd be offering psychosocial support and it just made me curious as Im a Psych Nurse Practitioner in the US, how these things are handled there? Appreciate it!

For the most part, mental illness goes unaddressed in much of Nigeria. A lot of people simply live and die with their conditions without anyone being the wiser.

2. Suicide cases are not uncommon; they are usually written off as cases of spiritual death(no autopsy and no investigation in many cases), or untimely deaths, and everyone moves on. Those whose cause of death is known are, for the most part, considered ungrateful for not valuing the life they had or victims of the hardship in the country.

3. Yeah, the Government has been saying a lot of sheet that the Government never really does. And there are at least 764 Local government countries in that country that are in dire need of mental health counselors/therapists, grief counselors, as well as terrorism which is now a part of regular life in the country.

12inchess:
➜I'm thinking of taking a 2 months medical leave and come to Nigeria to clear my head. Hopefully that will help me put things in perspective. The process is long since I need to get a medical certificate from my psychiatrist and talk to my supervisor but I will try to press through. Hopefully they don't fire me for this otherwise I will just have to look for another job I guess.

I recall wanting to do something similar a couple of years ago myself, but I am glad I decided against it and instead convinced myself that I could get the healing I needed staying right here where I am with regular access to my psychiatrist, and I am glad that I did that.

NurseSnowToYou:
May I ask what is the usual treatment for depression or mental health issues in Nigeria? I was just reading an article about migrant returnees that were trying to get to Europe but were sent back home and now felt ostracized and suicidal. IOM and the Nigerian govt said they'd be offering psychosocial support and it just made me curious as Im a Psych Nurse Practitioner in the US, how these things are handled there? Appreciate it!

you are on your own , nigerian government does not care about mental health


i cope with my mental health by doings lots of shrooms and drinking coffee , watching hoorror films or films deemed shock value