₦airaland Forum

Even I would never try to raise my hands on my husband, because if he retaliates, I'm finished... ... I can't imagine myself getting slapped by someone with a gym membership that enables him to be lifting weights on a weekly basis... A single slap will be enough to send me flying across the room life Superman, because I'm just bones with curves...

Anyways, have a good day.

Nnamdipapa:
I am just trolling you for fun.

I for one, do not condone dv and have never raised my hands on a woman all my life.
I do not even support spanking of kids not matter what.

The you people say this is laughable, do you tell someone come i want to impregnate you, as if is that simple. unless is rape,pregnancy happens if you both doers agree

Samantha125:
I thought Nigerian men don't beat up their wives, and judging by her post, it seems like she's not bothered by the beatings, like it's a normal thing.

Imagine getting beaten up over a side chick and still choosing to stay in such a marriage... Yhoo!!! Some men will make you to unintentionally learn witchcraft...🧙🏽‍♀️🧙🏽‍♀️🧙🏽‍♀️

I'd make sure that the kind of lightning that I send his way has taken push ups from the Benin Republic...⚡⚡⚡

Some women are very strong out there...🤦🤦🤦

That woman will prefer to be beaten once a week than for her husband to impregnate his side chick

Born20win:
Good evening everybody I am need of mature advice because I am depressed, it happened that I was married fourteen years ago I gave birth to one daughter who is 12 years old. I couldn't conceived again for so many years we had been to hospital and we were fine no medical issue at all. For seven years of having our daughter my husband was faithful he hadn't cheated on me or anything but on the 8th year he started messing around with different women. Although I wasn't aware because I trusted him a lot and I wasn't paying attention until 2021 a random number messaged me on WhatsApp sending me pic of her and my hubby and scan so she was pregnant for my hubby. As shocked I was I couldn't waited for him to returned home I called him immediately crying bitterly asking him if he had impregnated someone else he answered me with so much pride that he tough my reason for calling was something important but I am calling him to ask him atupid questions adding even if is true that he had impregnated 100 women what is my business. He hanged up the phone , I was very hurt by his response I decided to wait until he got home and his response to me was so bad that he told me he wasn't satisfied with the only child I had with him and he wanted more children and he is free to impregnated women one after another. We had a heated argument which led to him beating me in front of our daughter. Which had led us to stopped talking for 6 months while he was doing his things and I was also doing my things focusing on my shop and child. Meanwhile the baby mother had twins girl for him while we weren't talking and 3 months after having the babies he caught her with another man at the house he was renting for her which led to a big fight and he was arrested. He spent 2 weeks in jail while the baby mama refused to bailed him and I was also minding my business I didn't visit him or anything because I was hurt. Then his family went to beg the baby mama to bail her I don't know much details but he was released after they begged her. The day he was bailed out of sudden he apologise to me begging me for forgiveness well I didn't forgive him immediately I was still hurt but I had forgiven him finally. He become the sweetest man I ever met in the beginning and our marriage was working fine and we were stronger again. Then the baby mama was begging him through his family to take care of the kids because he blocked her everywhere and the only way she could have reached him was through his family. His elder brother called him asking him to take care of the children but he refused. He told me everything his brother were asking him to take care of the twins, hmmm it wasn't easy for me to try to convinced him after all the pain I went through because of their mother but after all the children were innocents they didn't have to suffer because of their mother mistake. I told him to take care of them but before he could do so he have to conduct a dna test because if she was able to sleep with another man 3 months after their birth there's a possibility she had multiply partners and the twin may not be his.the dna test were conducted after 3 months and the twins were his and he started sending upkeep money every month then when they clocked 2 years old she met with a guy living in Malaysia and she dropped the twins with my inlaws. My husband begged me to accept them so that he can bring them home, hmmm it wasn't easy but I had accepted. Where the problem now started their mother will come at my house anyhow without announcing and she will say she come to meet her girls. I wasn't happy for her to be coming to my house to see her girls although I can never stopped her from seeing her girls but coming to my house was a no. I told my hubby anytime she want to meet her kids he should dropped them at his elder brother house so they can meet over there but she still coming to my house to meet her girl and when I had enough I told my hubby to return the girls back to her but she refused. Me and him started having issue because of his baby mama if she come to my house she will enter my parlour sitting relaxing and I had enough the was a time I had to dragged her and ask her to leave , she slapped me and I slapped her back and thrown her and her girls out of the house. That evening when my hubby returned we had a heated argument which led to him beating me again for the second time since we got married. I left the house and I went to stay with my sister for 3 good months i found out I was pregnant but I refused to tell him and I kept as a secret to him, he never bothered to call. I never called him too meanwhile I was away he was back with his baby mama. To cut the long story short last year I was blessed with a bouncing baby boy after 11 years of waiting to conceive again , my hubby and I got back together before I put to bed and I just discovered that her baby mama third child who is actually a girl belong to him so the reason why he was keeping quiet when his baby maman use to walked into my house anytime she feels like it was because he impregnated her hoping that she would give birth to a boy but god confused her she gave birth to another girl and I gave birth to my boy. This secret is very hard for me to swallow I really hate my hubby for impregnated her once again knowing fully well she was messing around with other men when she had the wins. My heart is really shattered and going back to her he had put our lives in risk of catching diseases. He is begging me but I am finding it very hard to forgive him I don't know what to do please help?

If you cannot take it any longer.. leave his house so you won't die of depression.

And leaving his house also means can you afford to take care of yourself and your daughter?

Or stay away from having sex with him ..so he won't infect you

If you were my sister, from the first beating the marriage will have ended.

But I have a few questions. How are things with you financially? Can you cater for 3 mouths without needing help?

Secondly, how is your libido? Can you survive being alone for an extended period of time?

If your answer to both questions is yes, then I will advise you to do what's best for you.

My simple advice, Don't leave your home for any woman, stand your ground.

Cocolatti:
So what's your own advice

My advice for?

This matter is really out of hand, i think u have to forgive him n move on with him, if u hav endured so much up to ds extent, den there is no going back now, just stay strong for ur kids n b prayerful

Madam, God has fought for you and given you a beautiful crown. Let that be your testimony as you let go of bitterness and anger.

Insist the twins should go back to their mother if they are still with you and let her look after them. Let your husband worry about taking care of 4 extra mouths in this tinubulation since he could not waite patiently on God to give him a son but decided to be sharing seed around like a dog.

Stay strong for her kids and die in the hands of a beast, leaving her children motherless... Good advice.

henndukwe18:
This matter is really out of hand, i think u have to forgive him n move on with him, if u hav endured so much up to ds extent, den there is no going back now, just stay strong for ur kids n b prayerful

Samantha125:
Stay strong for her kids and die in the hands of a beast, leaving her children motherless... Good advice.

from the details of ha story, i don't think the man is that toxic

This same statement that you're saying has landed many women six feet under and now their children are left motherless and struggling in the hands of their cruel relatives.

Do you expect her to stay until her husband harm her in a way that she might not survive?

The same husband that'll probably abandon her children and move on with the side chick after she has perished to the beatings.

henndukwe18:
from the details of ha story, i don't think the man is that toxic

Samantha125:
This same statement that you're saying has landed many women six feet under and now their children are left motherless and struggling in the hands of their cruel relatives.

Do you expect her to stay until her husband harm her in a way that she might not survive?

The same husband that'll probably abandon her children and move on with the side chick after she has perished to the beatings.

she is not financially stable enough to take care of those kids, she still needs the man for the sake of the kids, and despite all these, she still loves the man. Put ursef in ha shoes, wt will u do if u were in ha position?

I will run and never look back than to stay for the money and die, leaving the children facing the world by themselves.

I'd rather beg on the streets with my children... Love isn't supposed to hurt and she needs to save her children from the trauma of watching her getting beaten up by their father.

henndukwe18:
she is not financially stable enough to take care of those kids, she still needs the man for the sake of the kids, and despite all these, she still loves the man. Put ursef in ha shoes, wt will u do if u were in ha position?

Mom007:
➜Madam, God has fought for you and given you a beautiful crown. Let that be your testimony as you let go of bitterness and anger.
➜Insist the twins should go back to their mother if they are still with you and let her look after them.
➜Let your husband worry about taking care of 4 extra mouths in this tinubulation since he could not waite patiently on God to give him a son but decided to be sharing seed around like a dog.

This f-cked-up mess that she retells you tell us is sign of the beautiful crown and works of your deity. Tufiakwa!!! No be curse be that? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. Why? Aren't they part and parcel of her beautiful crown and her deity fighting for her anymore?

3. What for? She got herself a son by accepting to raise the twins. You mean now your deity wants her to send them away?

Kobojunkie:
This f-cked-up mess that she retells you tell us is sign of the beautiful crown and works of your deity. Tufiakwa!!! No be curse be that? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. Why? Aren't they part and parcel of her beautiful crown and her deity fighting for her anymore?

3. What for? She got herself a son by accepting to raise the twins. You mean now your deity wants her to send them away?

I rebuke you satan, in the name of Jesus! I command you to restrict your evil influences and affliction to the life of this your disciple and that no more shall he be a source of negativity on this forum. It will continue so until he believes genuinely in his heart and professes publicly on this same forum that Jesus is Lord over all. Those that have previously fallen under your evil influence are hereby loosed in the name of Jesus. So shall it be, in Jesus mighty name I pray, Amen.

Mom007:
➜I rebuke you satan, in the name of Jesus! I command you to restrict your evil influences and affliction to the life of this your disciple and that no more shall he be a source of negativity on this forum. It will continue so until he believes genuinely in his heart and professes publicly on this same forum that Jesus is Lord over all. Those that have previously fallen under your evil influence are hereby loosed in the name of Jesus. So shall it be, in Jesus mighty name I pray, Amen.

See this one fuming in the mouth abeg! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

You referred to what amounts to mind-fuckery as a sign of the beautiful crown and works of your deity. And when called out on it, you pretend you are indeed mentally unhinged? Come on! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Samantha125:
I will run and never look back than to stay for the money and die, leaving the children facing the world by themselves.

I'd rather beg on the streets with my children... Love isn't supposed to hurt and she needs to save her children from the trauma of watching her getting beaten up by their father.

is easier said than done

Kobojunkie:
See this one fuming in the mouth abeg! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

You referred to what amounts to mind-fuckery as a sign of the beautiful crown and works of your deity. And when called out on it, you pretend you are indeed mentally unhinged? Come on! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

*smiles

Divorce him

No ifs and buts

NobleStag007:
If you cannot take it any longer.. leave his house so you won't die of depression.

And leaving his house also means can you afford to take care of yourself and your daughter?

Or stay away from having sex with him ..so he won't infect you

Yes I can afford to take care of myself and children but I will have to change my daughter school to a cheaper one.

Born20win:
Yes I can afford to take care of myself and children but I will have to change my daughter school to a cheaper one.

Then do. Depression and sadness kills faster than anything. If you were close to my location Ni.. we could have been friends. Been there and survived. Solitude is safer. You won't be lonely.. you have your work and your daughter

dawnomike:
Wow! This is really a tough matter...
Please, go back to your home because of your kids but please, just mind your business and your kids for the sake of peace.
Only God can change your type of husband at this point... Just do the right things that'll give you peace.
I pray your husband comes back to his senses sooner than later.

gift2xl:
My simple advice, Don't leave your home for any woman, stand your ground.

This advise sha!

Born20win:
Good evening everybody I am need of mature advice because I am depressed, it happened that I was married fourteen years ago I gave birth to one daughter who is 12 years old. I couldn't conceived again for so many years we had been to hospital and we were fine no medical issue at all. For seven years of having our daughter my husband was faithful he hadn't cheated on me or anything but on the 8th year he started messing around with different women. Although I wasn't aware because I trusted him a lot and I wasn't paying attention until 2021 a random number messaged me on WhatsApp sending me pic of her and my hubby and scan so she was pregnant for my hubby. As shocked I was I couldn't waited for him to returned home I called him immediately crying bitterly asking him if he had impregnated someone else he answered me with so much pride that he tough my reason for calling was something important but I am calling him to ask him atupid questions adding even if is true that he had impregnated 100 women what is my business. He hanged up the phone , I was very hurt by his response I decided to wait until he got home and his response to me was so bad that he told me he wasn't satisfied with the only child I had with him and he wanted more children and he is free to impregnated women one after another. We had a heated argument which led to him beating me in front of our daughter. Which had led us to stopped talking for 6 months while he was doing his things and I was also doing my things focusing on my shop and child. Meanwhile the baby mother had twins girl for him while we weren't talking and 3 months after having the babies he caught her with another man at the house he was renting for her which led to a big fight and he was arrested. He spent 2 weeks in jail while the baby mama refused to bailed him and I was also minding my business I didn't visit him or anything because I was hurt. Then his family went to beg the baby mama to bail her I don't know much details but he was released after they begged her. The day he was bailed out of sudden he apologise to me begging me for forgiveness well I didn't forgive him immediately I was still hurt but I had forgiven him finally. He become the sweetest man I ever met in the beginning and our marriage was working fine and we were stronger again. Then the baby mama was begging him through his family to take care of the kids because he blocked her everywhere and the only way she could have reached him was through his family. His elder brother called him asking him to take care of the children but he refused. He told me everything his brother were asking him to take care of the twins, hmmm it wasn't easy for me to try to convinced him after all the pain I went through because of their mother but after all the children were innocents they didn't have to suffer because of their mother mistake. I told him to take care of them but before he could do so he have to conduct a dna test because if she was able to sleep with another man 3 months after their birth there's a possibility she had multiply partners and the twin may not be his.the dna test were conducted after 3 months and the twins were his and he started sending upkeep money every month then when they clocked 2 years old she met with a guy living in Malaysia and she dropped the twins with my inlaws. My husband begged me to accept them so that he can bring them home, hmmm it wasn't easy but I had accepted. Where the problem now started their mother will come at my house anyhow without announcing and she will say she come to meet her girls. I wasn't happy for her to be coming to my house to see her girls although I can never stopped her from seeing her girls but coming to my house was a no. I told my hubby anytime she want to meet her kids he should dropped them at his elder brother house so they can meet over there but she still coming to my house to meet her girl and when I had enough I told my hubby to return the girls back to her but she refused. Me and him started having issue because of his baby mama if she come to my house she will enter my parlour sitting relaxing and I had enough the was a time I had to dragged her and ask her to leave , she slapped me and I slapped her back and thrown her and her girls out of the house. That evening when my hubby returned we had a heated argument which led to him beating me again for the second time since we got married. I left the house and I went to stay with my sister for 3 good months i found out I was pregnant but I refused to tell him and I kept as a secret to him, he never bothered to call. I never called him too meanwhile I was away he was back with his baby mama. To cut the long story short last year I was blessed with a bouncing baby boy after 11 years of waiting to conceive again , my hubby and I got back together before I put to bed and I just discovered that her baby mama third child who is actually a girl belong to him so the reason why he was keeping quiet when his baby maman use to walked into my house anytime she feels like it was because he impregnated her hoping that she would give birth to a boy but god confused her she gave birth to another girl and I gave birth to my boy. This secret is very hard for me to swallow I really hate my hubby for impregnated her once again knowing fully well she was messing around with other men when she had the wins. My heart is really shattered and going back to her he had put our lives in risk of catching diseases. He is begging me but I am finding it very hard to forgive him I don't know what to do please help?

1. What exactly is the cause of your depression?

The adultery? The resulting children? The violence? The co-wife?

What is hurting you right now?

2. What are your deal breakers?

3. Can you fend for yourself & children alone?

Born20win:
Good evening everybody I am need of mature advice because I am depressed, it happened that I was married fourteen years ago I gave birth to one daughter who is 12 years old. I couldn't conceived again for so many years we had been to hospital and we were fine no medical issue at all. For seven years of having our daughter my husband was faithful he hadn't cheated on me or anything but on the 8th year he started messing around with different women. Although I wasn't aware because I trusted him a lot and I wasn't paying attention until 2021 a random number messaged me on WhatsApp sending me pic of her and my hubby and scan so she was pregnant for my hubby. As shocked I was I couldn't waited for him to returned home I called him immediately crying bitterly asking him if he had impregnated someone else he answered me with so much pride that he tough my reason for calling was something important but I am calling him to ask him atupid questions adding even if is true that he had impregnated 100 women what is my business. He hanged up the phone , I was very hurt by his response I decided to wait until he got home and his response to me was so bad that he told me he wasn't satisfied with the only child I had with him and he wanted more children and he is free to impregnated women one after another. We had a heated argument which led to him beating me in front of our daughter. Which had led us to stopped talking for 6 months while he was doing his things and I was also doing my things focusing on my shop and child. Meanwhile the baby mother had twins girl for him while we weren't talking and 3 months after having the babies he caught her with another man at the house he was renting for her which led to a big fight and he was arrested. He spent 2 weeks in jail while the baby mama refused to bailed him and I was also minding my business I didn't visit him or anything because I was hurt. Then his family went to beg the baby mama to bail her I don't know much details but he was released after they begged her. The day he was bailed out of sudden he apologise to me begging me for forgiveness well I didn't forgive him immediately I was still hurt but I had forgiven him finally. He become the sweetest man I ever met in the beginning and our marriage was working fine and we were stronger again. Then the baby mama was begging him through his family to take care of the kids because he blocked her everywhere and the only way she could have reached him was through his family. His elder brother called him asking him to take care of the children but he refused. He told me everything his brother were asking him to take care of the twins, hmmm it wasn't easy for me to try to convinced him after all the pain I went through because of their mother but after all the children were innocents they didn't have to suffer because of their mother mistake. I told him to take care of them but before he could do so he have to conduct a dna test because if she was able to sleep with another man 3 months after their birth there's a possibility she had multiply partners and the twin may not be his.the dna test were conducted after 3 months and the twins were his and he started sending upkeep money every month then when they clocked 2 years old she met with a guy living in Malaysia and she dropped the twins with my inlaws. My husband begged me to accept them so that he can bring them home, hmmm it wasn't easy but I had accepted. Where the problem now started their mother will come at my house anyhow without announcing and she will say she come to meet her girls. I wasn't happy for her to be coming to my house to see her girls although I can never stopped her from seeing her girls but coming to my house was a no. I told my hubby anytime she want to meet her kids he should dropped them at his elder brother house so they can meet over there but she still coming to my house to meet her girl and when I had enough I told my hubby to return the girls back to her but she refused. Me and him started having issue because of his baby mama if she come to my house she will enter my parlour sitting relaxing and I had enough the was a time I had to dragged her and ask her to leave , she slapped me and I slapped her back and thrown her and her girls out of the house. That evening when my hubby returned we had a heated argument which led to him beating me again for the second time since we got married. I left the house and I went to stay with my sister for 3 good months i found out I was pregnant but I refused to tell him and I kept as a secret to him, he never bothered to call. I never called him too meanwhile I was away he was back with his baby mama. To cut the long story short last year I was blessed with a bouncing baby boy after 11 years of waiting to conceive again , my hubby and I got back together before I put to bed and I just discovered that her baby mama third child who is actually a girl belong to him so the reason why he was keeping quiet when his baby maman use to walked into my house anytime she feels like it was because he impregnated her hoping that she would give birth to a boy but god confused her she gave birth to another girl and I gave birth to my boy. This secret is very hard for me to swallow I really hate my hubby for impregnated her once again knowing fully well she was messing around with other men when she had the wins. My heart is really shattered and going back to her he had put our lives in risk of catching diseases. He is begging me but I am finding it very hard to forgive him I don't know what to do please help?

Hmmm this is quite hurtful
There is little or nothing you can do

Just take care of your self and children and make sure he provides for you, if its not enough, ask for more

Let him feel the heat of providing, but make sure she doesn't gp beyond the palour anytime she comes

And becareful so that she doesn't poison your children

Some men must have sense bye force

One reason I can never advise any woman to put mouth for anything side chick or baby mama palava.

The best way to deal with the issue is to not put mouth at all.

Don't ever act as if you care about them.

Born20win:
Thanks for the advice I am trying to focus on my children and business but it is not working because I hate him so much being in the same house with him is killing me.

So what are you still doing there?

eniolorunfe:
➜So what are you still doing there?

That is the million Naira question.