₦airaland Forum

calabaman:
Sorry I misread your topic at first to mean - "I'm stuck in my father's househelp

My opinion:
- You are scared of the unknown and what awaits you as a single bachelor.
- You don't priorize getting your own apartment and spend funds unjustly.
- You are too comfortable in your father's house and don't see the need to move.
- it maybe a spiritual thing, trying to hinder your progress

Advice:
> Pray about this nonchalant attitude towards being a responsible man (at 30)
> Be intentional about saving up and moving towards your own apartment before see finish sets in
> Open a joint account with your babe were by you won't be able to withdraw funds without her knowledge.

Ask yourself this - Did your father stay with his parents whilst he impregnated and had you

calabaman:
Sorry I misread your topic at first to mean - "I'm stuck in my father's househelp

My opinion:
- You are scared of the unknown and what awaits you as a single bachelor.
- You don't priorize getting your own apartment and spend funds unjustly.
- You are too comfortable in your father's house and don't see the need to move.
- it maybe a spiritual thing, trying to hinder your progress

Advice:
> Pray about this nonchalant attitude towards being a responsible man (at 30)
> Be intentional about saving up and moving towards your own apartment before see finish sets in
> Open a joint account with your babe were by you won't be able to withdraw funds without her knowledge.

Ask yourself this - Did your father stay with his parents whilst he impregnated and had you

VergasStudio98:
Thank you
He had his own apartment
But I don't know where what led to me took place
Do you think it's spiritual?

VergasStudio98:
Good morning
I have been a Guest on nairaland for years now ,and I have learnt a lot of things here .
I couldn't sleep ,I know lot of Nigerian's hardly sleep this days. Something have been giving me sleepless nights and headaches.
I don't mind the suggestions and answers you might give ,I will gladly welcome them and give it a thought.
About myself Am the first son of my mum but not my dad's first son ,I didn't stay with him all through my teenage days till 2013 that I had to move back to osogbo to stay with my biological parents. I schooled and learnt craft while in osogbo
Till this very moment I have been having difficulties leaving my father's house .
The reason am saying this is because I have tried so many times even when I have money to rent an apartment for myself I won't know how I will use the money for something else . I started getting suspicious of myself,even my girlfriend complained (I will be 30 by April) about it ,I even saved the money with her I collect it till it finish ..
Another thing is that I always notice something draws me home when am away ,when am at home I always gets broke and messy it's been happening like a loop ,I think am stuck on something I can't handle ...
Am currently typing this in my father's house ..
I have this strong urge to leave ,and sub-conscious has been speaking to me everyday
LEAVE LEAVE!!!
I need help from those who had experience things like this before..
[color=#550000][/color]

Stephen0mozzy:
Hmmm...... I don't believe in accusing spirituality for an action when indiscipline is a very valid explanation.

The reason you SEEM TO DECIDE TO EAT UP YOUR RENT MONEY is because you know you have a place to stay in your father's house.

There's no shame in saving cost and staying there though, provided you're not being a burden to them. There's nothing that says you'll automatically blow up financially once you leave the house.

That thing you call "spiritual" that makes you squander money is in you and will follow you to your new apartment if you don't discipline yourself.

If you need to rent a humble one room apartment, do it. Maybe you're raising the bar too high (renting a flat) and thus giving you too long time to save up, and before you save a quarter of the cost, the motivation to live alone has faded, and you slide into eating the money.

buttlover:
I was in this case about 3 years ago. Infact they saw me as parasite. I had to summon courage and took (stole) 250k and ran away. Whenever I remember the shame they will give me if I come back empty I had no choice than to hustle hard where I ran to. Today they are happy that I can finally feed myself and pay my own rent even buying my own Keke likewise contributing to family events. I no de advice you to thief o. Just find a tangible reason not to come back for a long time even if Hunger de wire you. I started with car wash o. Peace

idahme:
His problem is lack of financial prudence, if you ask him how much he spends on women you will be shocked but somehow its spiritual.
I spend just 20% of my earnings monthly and the result is huge amount in my savings necessarily to live a stress free life for the next five years assuming i didn't invest it, that is how to live life. As i advised him above he should set up a special savings account he can't withdraw from until a certain number of years say two years or three years, he will do better if he still there than living separately that's if he is financially prudent

Sharpsharp00123:
u want us to tell u it's spiritual right?

No

It's far from it, it's u that lack self discipline n will. U are comfortable with your comfort zone.

Gather money n leave like u don't have parents n u will see yourself coping well. Try to see it as if u don't have parents n u don't have a home to run to then u will see yourself doing magic

idahme:
1. There is nothing spiritual about you or anything concerning you as yiu portray and as others think.

2. You are not financially prudent as a man its not because of anything but you.

3. Someone saying you should do a joint account with someone (girlfriend)that can claim 50% of the amount in the joint account if even she contributed zero amount, the law assumes the money is owned by both of you, financial mistake, most of you want to learn from experience instead of if learning from people's experiences.

4. Hope those who are pushing you(girlfriend) have also left their parents House? If no then something is wrong. A girlfriend once pushed me to leave the flat i shared with my twin which has helped us save immensely towards our future and i asked what is your reason? Do you know what are reasons are? She said privacy, that she needs to have a key to my own house that she can come anytime without necessity calling me before she comes can you imagine that? I should jettison my twin and ruin my finances because if her. That was the day i knew she was a nacking tool, such women will come to the family and cause commotion , a flat that is equipped with latest gadgets that is necessary for perfect relaxation and even have a gym spot containing state of the arts threadmill is what she wants me to go and spend all over again because of her selfishness. Guess what ? We are no longer together, what if i betrayed my twin for a girlfriend what will befall our blood relationship? I will gladly stay in my parents place and save up my account for the next venture.

5. Go to your bank and tell them that you need a special savings account that you can't have access to for the next 3 years, some of these savings account have double digits interest rates and work out a nice savings plan which will mature in three years time, don't allow anyone confuse you with joint account with any girlfriend .

pointblank247:
Hmmmm , it could be spiritual, in Igbo land this could be attributed to "agwu"

Secondly, you said you are from Oshogbo. Do you smoke Oshogbo weed . I heard it's powerful

Stephen0mozzy:
[sub][/sub]

Great point about financial prudence 💯
But why do you assume he's flamboyant in spending on women 😂. There are a lot of ways to be broke, women is just one

VergasStudio98:
Good morning
I have been a Guest on nairaland for years now ,and I have learnt a lot of things here .
I couldn't sleep ,I know lot of Nigerian's hardly sleep this days. Something have been giving me sleepless nights and headaches.
I don't mind the suggestions and answers you might give ,I will gladly welcome them and give it a thought.
About myself Am the first son of my mum but not my dad's first son ,I didn't stay with him all through my teenage days till 2013 that I had to move back to osogbo to stay with my biological parents. I schooled and learnt craft while in osogbo
Till this very moment I have been having difficulties leaving my father's house .
The reason am saying this is because I have tried so many times even when I have money to rent an apartment for myself I won't know how I will use the money for something else . I started getting suspicious of myself,even my girlfriend complained (I will be 30 by April) about it ,I even saved the money with her I collect it till it finish ..
Another thing is that I always notice something draws me home when am away ,when am at home I always gets broke and messy it's been happening like a loop ,I think am stuck on something I can't handle ...
Am currently typing this in my father's house ..
I have this strong urge to leave ,and sub-conscious has been speaking to me everyday
LEAVE LEAVE!!!
I need help from those who had experience things like this before..
[color=#550000][/color]

Infotubia9ja:
LET ME PUT YOUR MIND AT EASE... I LEFT MY FATHERS HOUSE OFFICIALLY AT THE AGE OF 31.
and when I left my father's house I didn't just leave to my own house I left my father's house to the United States. Now I live thousands of miles away from my father's house with my own family.
We all go through this stage in life some leave their parents house before 18 years while some even stay with their parents till over 50.
Here in America I have seen people in their 40s still living with their parents the go to work and live there and it's normal here.
Now I want to tell you this. I don't know if it motivates you. But when I was in Nigeria back then. I had people make fun of me on different occasions.
I could remember one time someone called me "one shirt one trouser" and it wasn't that I was broke it was just my favourite cloth I love wearing them and I wash them at night and dry. I was a nurd back then but they made fun of me.
I also had one set of my peer group living in my hood they all went to join the Nigerian army make fun of me that I came back home to live with my parents and they laugh at me as a group of individuals and they all gave me this nick name.
NYSC which they themed NOW YOUR STRUGGLE CONTINUES. They always make fun of me but today they all call my phone for constantly begging me for money and I can be at my chest and say I am way doing well than they are.
What I am trying to say is don't let your present situation over cloud your future success. As long as you have a plan and you have goals to achieve and stay focused, all conditions are temporary we will get there one way or another just continue to follow your path and done mind what others say. You are the one writing your own life story in the book of time and you get to live for you and not others...SHALOM.


Thanks so much I feel motivated as you share your experiences on these issues ..
Happy weekend

Danielomisco:
this post reminds me of myself,i left my fathers house at 31 but God changed everything.what state r u

VergasStudio98:
I currently reside in osogbo osun state with my parents..
Am Ekiti by origin

yungrylex00:
message me bro
07083959193 WhatsApp

VergasStudio98:
I currently reside in osogbo osun state with my parents..
Am Ekiti by origin

VergasStudio98:
Good morning...Something have been giving me sleepless nights and headaches.
I don't mind the suggestions and answers you might give ,I will gladly welcome them and give it a thought...
Another thing is that I always notice something draws me home when am away ,when am at home I always gets broke and messy it's been happening like a loop ,I think am stuck on something I can't handle ...

Danielomisco:
I reside in the north,I would have helped but the cultural shock will be too much for you and distance.

werisetogether:
Have you considered taking a closer look at your daily habits? How does your average day go? Who do you hang out most with?

From what you said, it seems your expenses exceed your income. Have you taken a closer look at where you're spending your money?

Prayerfully look at what you're doing. Once you see what's missing, you'll find it easy to make different choices

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any questions