₦airaland Forum

Honeydenz:
Same thing is happening to me already
My man come like women join, he doesn't have money to pay rent, but he has money to give to side chicks. No money to pay an only child school fees (where some people have 5kids) but there's money for constant beer 🍺, no money to cook, but there's money to play betting. An early grave is what such women will experience if they don't wise up, in my case I was captivated by his handsomeness and six pack, a guy that's over six feet tall but so lazy. Nobody should overlook reg flags when dating o, it was same when we were dating, I was the one spending on him while still competing with other chicks for his attention. He would dress up in suits so neighbours would think he has a good job only to leave to play bet from morning till when normal people are returning home in d evening from thier various work. he claims he graduated with an upper degree from the University but he's actually a school dropout, probably used his school fees to play bet. And it was exactly like this when I was dating him. He now claim it's the side women that are spending on him, while he wastes away in betnaija shops and beer parlour, imagine the shamelessness!!!! Good riddance! I took over the role of both man and woman in the marriage until last year when I decided to use my tongue 👅 to count my teeths, if u understand what I mean. Worst is, he thinks he did me a great favour by marrying me, all the time he would say there are enough boyfriends out there but no husband, as if he married me properly, someone that couldn't afford an ordinary introduction. Well, I can't kill myself for a man that will mourn my death for barely two days in his side chick's house.

kobojunkie I'm referring to this story

yaseer111:
✓ I am talking about this particular op's story, I am talking about the lady that quoted with similar story said she married her husband because he's handsome 6 feet tall with six pack

That's the same poster I was referring to. She has obviously realized that the sex was not worth her life being the pile of trash it was while married to the man. That is why she complained and chose to count her teeth. 🫤

Kobojunkie:
I am not against your advice but has the man really failed her? Or is it that she originally thought she could train him only to see now that it was stewpid of her to think she could train a grown-arsed man, to begin with? 😏

It was an arranged marriage so not sure what level of choice went into it, but regardless at a minimum a husband should stand up for his family.

Kobojunkie:
That's the same poster I was referring to. She has obviously realized that the sex was not worth her life being the pile of trash it was while married to the man. That is why she is complaining. 🫤

hhh okayyy, well if na me I wont leave,I will continue

SouthAmericalif:
look at the time i am writing this after having stressful day with work i can’t sleep because i am in pain
because of business i bought him toyota camry, bought big nylon machine he no work all this money na from legit struggles when i suppose package my self japa
but the business i dey use my hand do dey work even with this i dey run 2bedroom flat rent ,expensive act fees and all the bills myself include food. I no complain
my complain now is that while carrying out all this struggles one neighbor out of joblessness and jealousy of what i am not even enjoying will be bullying me psychologically publicly

introduce him to ur business and monitor him.

SouthAmericalif:
all true what do i stand to gain
i was able to build a small rental property at the outskirts of town and left it for him to manage
am still the one reminding to call tenants that are owing presently almost all tenants are owing and two rooms are vacant for some months because once someone ones to take the rooms he will say he is busy because he doesn’t likes going there.Because of poor management i always have the urge to sell the property
i have the one i inherited and i am managing it well for 15years now
there was a time i fell sick and i stayed at my moms for 2months i raise 1million profit from my business because i wasn’t making any expenses i almost find it difficult go back because i got well and was doing great in business but i choose my marriage.

I don't believe you.
Or you're not made in Nigeria, I mean you're not a Nigerian lady

yaseer111:
hhh okayyy, well if na me I wont leave,I will continue

Tufiakwa!

No marriage whatsoever is worth you are going through o.

Personally I can't cope with a lazy person. My wife works, I work too

Talk more of you a woman with a lazy husband

na yoruba man

Leave him please he need to awaken his potentials , you are not the right woman for him , you can't give a market woman a diamond stone , she would sell it instead of depositing it as an asset to a bank and create a credit base to start or improve your business

Kobojunkie:
By way of the contradiction spewed by the other poster? Are you kidding?

what do you mean?

WantsandMore:
➜what do you mean?

Are you insinuating that you are unaware that a thing cannot be simultaneously pre-programmed—pre-destined— and unprogrammed—operating on its own will?

musicwriter:
When I heard that Tuface (a male) was divorced and wanted to get married to another lady, I asked the same question. Why does he want to get married again? What else does he want?

For me, I don't consider marriage as an achievement.

Frankly it's not. Its just for someone who have a companion when one is old and can't really move around, because bottomline is, no one can take better care of you, when you are older, other than your own kids.

joseph1832:
Frankly it's not. Its just for someone who have a companion when one is old and can't really move around, because bottomline is, no one can take better care of you, when you are older, other than your own kids.

I don't even want to live that long

deavicky:
introduce him to ur business and monitor him.

After clearly confirming his incompetence, your advice is for her to, this time, risk her business by placing it in his hands.

SouthAmericalif:
➜we have mid year for our rent to expire, i told him the money we have at hand that by weekend he should split it and give me part so we can fend for each other separately i will get a room self contained and start living there if he is willing to reconcile na that small we go stay until he wakes up,
➜i feel it’s a loveless marriage

Reconcile what? According to you, the man has been a waste of your youth and your hard-earned money up until now— He does not bring anything to the table. So what would he be reconciling then?

2. A loveless marriage but you are willing to reconcile what exactly?

oweniwe:
➜Women are funny. Men do all these for years upon years happily without compliants Woman try am once, see as complain full ground

Men carry the financial burden as well as the house issues — cooking, cleaning, the raising of kids? Some of you are just born liars!

tctrills:
➜Do you think things will get better when you leave him? I honestly don't know.

Oh yes! Having a grown-arsed man as a dependent simply for the purpose of his dick is the only way for her to have a good life... WOW. If she were your daughter, would you ask her the same inane question? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

essyiyk:
➜But the man in question is set back personified abeg,

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kobojunkie:
Oh yes! Having a grown-arsed man as a dependent simply for the purpose of his dick is the only way for her to have a good life... WOW. If she were your daughter, would you ask her the same inane question? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Yes I would. I don't make hasty decisions. And I know many who divorced and became more depressed. I wouldn't want that for my daughter.

musicwriter:
I don't even want to live that long

Men, you're something else.

essyiyk:
➜My dear sister you don try, please take care of yourself. i have similar experience i don't even have up to your resources but i quickly advised myself and Oga read the handwriting on the wall clearly, the only thing you hear him say is but this is not the person I married but i no send no quarrel no fight but unnecessary wastage na lie. Part of the decision i took is any contract i handle the finances myself. one of my experiences was that i got a loan of 600k plus interest total of 750k budgeted for mini bus in 2020 but he never bring the bus nor the money but i cannot explain such to bank so I have to pay

WOW...This is like being married to your own personal scammer abeg! 😩😩😩😩

tctrills:
➜Yes I would. I don't make hasty decisions. And I know many who divorced and became more depressed. I wouldn't want that for my daughter.

OP is not divorced yet she is lonely and depressed in marriage. So, what the f0--ck is with the inane attempt to link depression to divorce? Nonsense!

Ojemedad:
➜I don’t support weak and lazy men, a man is supposed to take care of responsibilities. My elder sister got married to a lazy man like this also. Until your sister is in such a situation you will not see anything wrong in it. My sister takes care of 95% of the house responsibilities, she recently completed her house this shameful man still moved in with her even though there are many work to be done in the house also . Men should be men.

WOW... the man is probably waiting to claim it all for himself.

Ruke1989:
➜I know men and women who are useless physically and mentally like the men you guys are describing. I am beginning to think it's aental health issue and the society needs to segregate irresponsible people so that they don't keep sleeping with responsible people and spreading the gene of irresponsibility

It is not a mental illness at all. Rather it is instead referred to as weaponized incompetence. There are literally people out there whose goal in life is to leech/take advantage of those around them as much as they can. They choose a partner whom they are not necessarily attracted to but have computed they live with putting in the least amount of effort.

Kobojunkie:
Are you insinuating that you are unaware that a thing cannot be simultaneously pre-programmed—pre-destined— and unprogrammed—operating on its own will?

I honestly don’t know; maybe it’s pragmatism. In practice, we act as if we have free will because it’s what makes sense in our daily lives, even if the theoretical debate remains unresolved. 🤷🏾‍♂️

joseph1832:
Men, you're something else.

Life is not worth living at old age. That's why death exists. Death is the best thing that could happen to anything that's alive.

The problem is that fear has been created through the ages in people that death means the end. But death is not an end. Death is just like the same way you came to this world- from another life. You weren't dead before you were born. You have always been alive but not as a human being.

Death is a way for nature to recycle itself. However, in the process you'll either progress higher or lower or be weeded out if nature finds you unnecessary.

TechBaron:
You're talking about juju and at the same time making references to the Bible. Quite confusing!

The fact that he claimed it was possible to be predestined — preprogrammed — while at the same time being capable of operating freely as one without a programming — unprogrammed—, an obvious contradiction, did not hint you at the level of his confusion?

pocohantas:
My own is still alive, but bent with receding hairline. I am sure when they were dating, she was convinced she is different from materialistic women and she can handle it in the long run.

I no get advice for her. Make logical people defend and advise her. One of them say they are supporting her. They should add it money to relieve her stress. She is a good woman. Good women need all kind of support.

I pray God preserves her health to enjoy the rewards of her hard work. So many women in her shoes but very few live long enough to enjoy the proceeds of their sacrifice

WantsandMore:
➜I honestly don’t know; maybe it’s pragmatism.
➜In practice, we act as if we have free will because it’s what makes sense in our daily lives, even if the theoretical debate remains unresolved. 🤷🏾‍♂️

1. What has pragmatism to do with any of this?

2. I don't follow! What unresolved theoretical debate? Are you not able to mentally realize that your behavior is driven by your thoughts or what?

dominique:
➜I pray God preserves her health to enjoy the rewards of her hard work. So many women in her shoes but very few live long enough to enjoy the proceeds of their sacrifice

Define enjoy in this case? Maybe compare the enjoyment of, say, a woman who never put herself in such a terrible situation — none of the useless sacrificing— to the enjoyment you pretend those of them who live long enough — after all of their supposed sacrificing?

I keep reading that there is some sort of enjoyment for women after all that torturous existence but I find it hard to see it as such.

SouthAmericalif:
I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

Understand his calling before choosing a business for him. Not everyone can handle tricycle.