₦airaland Forum

Scaredguy:
I am 30 years 1. No apartment of my own 2. No stable job except DJing 3. I lack self control 4. I am getting married. is this right?


Note: I love her so much and i feel she is d only one who can give a sense of being responsible.

Acidosis:
You're a walking red flag.

Nice2023:
Don't ever test the depth of a river with ur both feet.

Be careful.

Nice2023:
Don't ever test the depth of a river with ur both feet.

Be careful.

Johnny757:
getting married without apartment 😂

Scaredguy:
Maybe you are right cos i guess i didnt place it well..... It is a actually not that bad. I work in a Lounge on d Island, i get 60k weekly, i work 3 times daily, thats 240k Monthly... I also work with several other event planners where i get Multiple gigs too. I dey see money but the problem is Lack of self control is really ruining me. I spend heavily on irrelevant Things nd it has always been like that for years. But anytime this lady is around or when she is with me, I am always super conscious of all i do. more reason why i don't want to lose her. Once she is around, i am always very careful but as soon as she leaves , these bad Things start again.

StPete:
What exactly are you spending 240k on? Tell us those irrelevant things

Johnny757:
betting 😹😂😁

iamdocToyemi:
If the bolded is correct, that is green enough flag to marry her.

Scaredguy:
The bolded is very very correct.... I cant even explain it well enough, she is just too amazing.

Jesuspistol:
Incomplete information. Who are you staying with? If it's your parents house with many flats. You're already in your own apartment. That's why I said there's need for more information

Does your fiancee also work? What work does she do. You lack self-control in which aspect?

For you to sit down and evaluate your life like this shows you're thinking properly and you're tending towards self development. Do you know there are men of 35 who don't even take time to think about their life following the right channel?

Scaredguy:
I am 30 years 1. No apartment of my own 2. No stable job except DJing 3. I lack self control 4. I am getting married. is this right?


Note: I love her so much and i feel she is d only one who can give a sense of being responsible.

Scaredguy:
➜I am 30 years 1. No apartment of my own 2. No stable job except DJing 3. I lack self control 4. I am getting married. is this right? Note: I love her so much and i feel she is d only one who can give a sense of being responsible.

Scaredguy:
I am 30 years 1. No apartment of my own 2. No stable job except DJing 3. I lack self control 4. I am getting married. is this right?


Note: I love her so much and i feel she is d only one who can give a sense of being responsible.

Meerahbel:
It's great that you're taking the time to reflect on your life and priorities.

Considering your concerns, getting married might be a significant commitment, especially when you're facing challenges like:

1. Unstable living situation
2. Lack of job security
3. Self-control issues

However, it's also important to acknowledge that:

1. You love your partner deeply
2. You feel she can help you become more responsible

Here are some suggestions:

Reflect on Your Motivations
Ask yourself:

1. Are you getting married solely because you love your partner, or are you hoping she'll help stabilize your life?
2. Are you prepared to work on your personal growth and responsibilities, or are you relying on your partner to "fix" these areas?

Open Communication
Discuss your concerns with your partner:

1. Share your feelings, fears, and dreams with her.
2. Listen to her perspective, concerns, and expectations.
3. Work together to create a plan for addressing your challenges.

Personal Growth
Focus on developing self-awareness and self-control:

1. Identify areas where you struggle with self-control and work on strategies to improve.
2. Develop a plan for achieving stability in your career and living situation.
3. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge progress.

Marriage Preparation
Consider counseling or pre-marital coaching:

1. Explore the responsibilities and expectations that come with marriage.
2. Develop healthy communication and conflict resolution skills.
3. Build a strong foundation for your relationship.

Ultimately, the decision to get married is a personal one. Take your time, communicate openly with your partner, and focus on personal growth.

Scaredguy:
Thank you for the honest response sir. I am working towards self development. I stay with my sister, she is a single Mother of 2. The husband is late but she is doing very well for herself. I have my own room to myself it's a 2 bed. but deep down, i don't wanna get married nd raise a family here too.

My fiancee makes liquid soap, she sell food items and she will open her shop soon. for now, she sells to pple on her whatsapp nd Instagram.

Self control when it comes to spending money, buying smoke, i still cheat on her which is always as a result of the highness.. so mostly i lodge nd i just live my life like i'm single.

I have tried to stop several times but it only works when she is with me. once she leaves, i usually go back to the Old Ways.... but lately,i have really reduced so many things tho but i'm just scared i might go back again. I just want to marry so she can be around me always.

Kajaard:
You better save towards getting an apartment of your own.

Don't get married and start inconveniencing your sister by bringing your wife to love in her apartment.

Forget about marriage until you get your own apartment.

Scaredguy:
I am actually saving towards that already, 2nd week in march, i should get a place already. Thank you so much for the honest advice.

Mom007:
Poor lady.
I wonder what part of this your resumé she saw and thought you to be a good husband material.

meobizy:
Source: ChatGPT.

Klass99:
The late Onyeka Onwenu once said something profound which still resonates with me till date. She said success in life is your personal responsibility, do not put it on anyone.

I like to rephrase her words in my mind as success at anything in this life is my personal responsibility, I will not put that responsibility on anyone but myself. It can be anything from finding a new job to losing weight, quitting bad habits, etc.

You have decided to put that responsibility on your girlfriend while sounding helpless and acting powerless, like you don't have the werewithal to get your act together and fix yourself. No offence meant but you are like a child/boy in a grown man's body. I don't baby sit grown ups and if I knew your girlfriend I would ask her to walk away until you get your act together.

Can you please take responsibility for your life and your choices, and decide to do better, without hingeing your success on your girl? We are not mindless creatures incapable of self discipline, you are just comfortable with your bad habits and excuses, unwilling to do the work of self improvement, while looking to a woman to rescue you.

bigl:
Its good to get married but judging by what you posted, i'll say it sounds like an "impulsive" move ...

The time might not be good for u to settle down ... especially without an apartment of your own ... except maybe, your parents gave u an apartment to live in, all by yourself ..

Djing, i don't have any issue with that but do u have enough savings or have a constant pay from, maybe a club u do dj in

If not, you're in for a rather stressful journey cos when the bills starts popping up from all angles, that love wey dey una eyes, go clear sharply ... i'm not wishing u bad but just telling u the reality....

I hope both of you are not AS sha??

If not, k.ill (pai) that love!

Kobojunkie:
Poverty is indeed a mindset.

Scaredguy:
We are both AA. I actually do not have an issue with sorting bills cos i get a steady funds from my lounge and i work at different events almost every weekend. I think i will just ensure i have other source of income just to be on the safer side. Also, I will get an apartment.

Scaredguy:
She knows everything and we are actually reading this together. The bond is just too strong..... She believes so much in me and i am also willing to change drastically hence the need for posting this on here....

Funny thing is You, Yes i mean you that called her a poor lady may not even have a very happy home like that.... Kindly stay glued to this page, I will keep you informed on all developments. Our introduction is in 2 days.