₦airaland Forum

Villa12:
The support system is definitely sustainable, if a brother can be feeding and paying the bills of his married sister with her family, then tell me what such a brother would do having advised the sister to leave for her sanity and peace? He will definitely set her up to be independent. He probably didn't set her up because of the irresponsible husband. He understood the irresponsible husband would definitely not let her grow with his addiction. It is common sense

As she takes your decision, just make sure you are checking on her shaa

silibaba:
As she takes your decision, just make sure you are checking on her shaa

Thank you for your understanding. Please you can help revive the husband from his addiction inorder to perform his duty as the head of the family.

Remember, a man that cannot cater for his family is worse than an Infidel

Villa12:
Thank you for your understanding. Please you can help revive the husband from his addiction inorder to perform his duty as the head of the family.

Remember, a man that cannot cater for his family is worse than an Infidel

Na you sabi that one.

If European write novel (bible)give you, you carry am for your bald head around, that one concern you.

silibaba:
Na you sabi that one.

If European write novel (bible)give you, you carry am for your bald head around, that one concern you.

na the koko be that. Are you an Infidel man?

Villa12:
na the koko be that. Are you an Infidel man?

I should be asking you bro.

GREATPIN77:
Separation

Inform your husband family that you're not divorcing him but Separation. They should look after their son/brother and ensure he's completely healed and also he should get a job or business to sustain the family as your brother cannot continue to cater for his wife and kids. Let them know you'll keep in touch with them and you're ready to return once there's evidence that he's completely out of the addiction and has a source of livelihood to cater for the family. They might not want you to leave but don't listen to them and don't leave your kids for them please. If your brother is the one bankrolling your family without the support of the man's family then such family is not responsible. You can decide not to come back again. It's your choice but i implore you to listen to your brother. Someone supporting you cannot mislead you. I will do same if you're my sister.

Noted. Thanks 🙏

Savingrace678:
Noted. Thanks 🙏

That isn't a good idea given that staying married the the man leaves the door open for him and his family to come in to claim ownership or anything that supposedly belongs to you should anything happen to you. In Nigeria, once married, the woman's property is considered to belong to the man she is married to unless she has it in the name of others. Even then that leaves her vulnerable and is not as advisable.

floss:
Oya don’t cry, just go and play with your mates outside

all this small small children sef, once they have access to smartphones they misbehave online..

.

Savingrace678:
Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

I don't know what tribe you're but in Edo State of you take a man's child from him in this manner, they will grow sick until you return them
Fron your post, you still love your man and maybe believe in him to change too.
Fight this fight....your brother will never disown you.
Fight for your husband ... Fight for him.
I'm saying all of this because of the kids, you like carry them go sokoto....they'll find their father, they'll want to know their own truth.

A family that suffers together is better than a broken home. Children from broken homes na 50/50

problem with marriages of these days is that women are already coming into marriages with so many options in their heads if the marriage isn't rosy.
In the days of our parents and many elderly couples you see together till date, they had only one option "till death!"

Many of our fathers were addict in their days to pools (gambling), a child must be brought up to be full of wisdom and know good from right not separating em from one parent and thinking everything becomes GOLD from there